for those of y'all on testosterone, when did facial hair start showing up? (I just hit 10 weeks and I'm noticing a bit of it, but my levels are way higher than they're supposed to be)
Transmascs on T, when did facial hair start showing up?
Within 6 weeks (about 2 months)
Within 12 weeks (about 3/4 months)
Within 24 weeks (about 5/6 months)
Within a year
Within 2 years
Within 5 years
After 5 years
Haven’t gotten any (less than a year on T)
Haven’t gotten any (less than 5 years on T)
Haven’t gotten any (greater than 5 years on T)
Transmasc but not on T
See results / non-Transmascs click here
Voting ended onJun 19
(I’m so sorry @thegreatestgonzo I forgot this poll was in my inbox for a bit but here)
I made a 2 month checkpoint a while ago, so here's to 4 months! I think ill just stick to doing updates every 2 months assuming i continue.
hair has started to thin/shed, initially it was scary but after realising that other guys im close to seem to shed as much as i do and are infact, not undergoing active and distressing hair loss, ive come to terms with it and it doesnt bother me beyond being mildly annoying. i just use it as a way to check my hair type now and see how its doing, like a checkup to make sure the effort ive been putting into my hair after years of neglecting it is actually paying off. of which it is by the way! my waves/curls are more defined. that itself could be part of T, my hair type ranges from about 1c-2c for those wondering B)
I've started to notice im developing my own distinct smell, and honestly im happy about it. i dont smell like flowers of course but for some reason smelling masculine has been something ive envied for a while. another part of it is that im VERY sensitive to scent, to a point where i could differentiate people by it, or where i would start to feel sick if i was close to someone for too long on the basis of "they smelt strong" (Not bad, just strong.) but i dont hate the way i smell which is great, im not overly sensitive to it or anything which is a massive relief. i think its nice and it reminds me of the other guys in my life. its nice even if i cover it with deodorant LOL
acne has picked up! ive been using face care again for the first time in years. luckily since im not 13 anymore and no longer adverse to self care ive been sticking to it. i dont love it for obvious reasons, it can hurt to scratch my face, but i like the texture it gives my face. i like looking more rough. i dont mind it!
sweating is still a pain, i think ive already mentioned this but i sweat more and in more places, my stomach is the most noticeable and the only place i really have to worry about if im tryna keep appearances up. sweaty stomach euuhggh
appetite has begun to calm down a bit, still larger than pre T but not as intense in the first 3 months, its easier to eat at maintenance now!
bloating has also calmed down!!!! yes!!!!!!!! its not completely gone but its far less intense and no longer fucks with me mentally. really happy about that.
the hair on my jaw has darkened and thickened, i took some photos with flash on and you could see defined sideburns. im happy with how its going! ive also started to develop more hair under my jaw/chin, but since im quite specific about facial hair ive decided to take it as an opportunity to get into the habit of shaving. stubble on your neck can be itchy ive learned. it reminds me of my dad lolol! the hair on my upper lip has also been developing same as ever, and while still not the best stache in the world, for 4 months i feel its pretty goddam good. my friends have commented on it.
more on hair growth, the hair on my legs, thighs, and arms have all been progressing as usual, but ive found the odd overly-long hair on my thighs occasionally. someones been using up all the T and leaving none for the rest... how rude... ive also noticed more foot hair which is fine, i dont really care.
muscle gain has definitely become a bit easier which is great to see!
ive been much more confident aswell, things feel easier. socialising feels like theres no pressure the moment i know what jokes to make, i can say things with no fear. people have also commented that im noticeably happier which is its own testament.
the topic of aggression and irritability is regularly discussed in regards to ftm hrt, and while i can fully see how people will ultimately try to twist it to make it out that testosterone makes you aggressive and evil, i dont fully agree with the people saying it has 0 effect on irritability. this doesnt mean either side is right, but i think only ever stating extremes of "T makes you aggressive and evil" and "T has 0 effect on irritability and makes you less angry infact" is inflammatory to an extent. in my experience, T doesnt make me get angry more often, rather, in place of times when i'd be vaguely annoyed, im just irritated or pissed off. it hasnt changed what makes me angry or when, but how i experience anger. that is to say though, hormones and emotions are highly personal. estrogen made me depressed and crying near constantly, and testosterone makes me feel angrier at the world when it sticks the finger to me. to say T has no effect on emotions is bs, its a hormone, theres a reason everyone is moody and weird when theyre going through puberty. its to be expected T will impact your emotions. that being said, i will note that the only time the irritability really kicks in is at school. outside of school? at the gym? at work? 0 irritability. the chillness everyone advertises. but yeah irritability still strong but its definitely situational and can easily be avoided by Checks Notes not being at school or by Checks Sticky Note On Fridge self-regulating.
Ive gone up a shoe size + grown an inch, but i think only one of those can be attributed to T LOL
in the initial few months i gained about 10kg, mainly due to the sudden appetite + lack of exercise due to being on holidays, but since getting back to everything my weight seems to have stabilised more to about ~5-7kg higher than pre-T.
libido is about the same as when i started, and learning about it hasnt been anywhere as near scary as i thought it'd be. its not stressful and more just like "ok yeah so im 100% not down for this and thats chill!" i was heavily asexual pre-T and now ID more around an allosexual or maybe graysexual range only due to how specific i am about boundaries and everything to do with it.
still liking men which is cool. i feel like if i had the care to choose another label i'd ID with homoflexible but since bi+gay covers that pretty well i feel no need. also i like the bi flag more. and i own one, i dont wanna buy another. this isnt much of a T thing but moreso just because ive noticed some guys saying T made them gayer.
I was pretty insecure about bottom growth previously because i felt like i didnt see much happening, but honestly after actually looking at it its safe to say it has progressed. they werent lying that shit is tDICK. i completely get what people meant when theyd talk about anatomically being insanely similar/largely the same. Testosterone-PP lets go
Overall, despite the many Ups and Downs of T im loving it. Im happier for a reason, I wouldnt trade this experience for anything. I get to finally see myself become the man I always knew i would.
Okay. I should be starting Testosterone gel soon, maybe within the next week if insurance behaves.
I see some people doing 'transition timeline' sort of things, and I'm going to try to do my own but more focused on my neurodivergencies/disabilities and how they interact with the testosterone.
So today I'm going to put down my unique factors, and hopefully keep remembering to write down what happens as I go on T for however long I can actually get it.
I have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, though that has actually been barely noticeable the last two periods I had. I have (level 1) autism and ADHD, depression and anxiety, possibly OCD, a psychotic disorder that my therapist and psychiatrist are trying to diagnose, DP-DR, and a CDD that they are also trying to diagnose officially. On the physical side, I have fibromyalgia that comes with chronic fatigue, GERD and other GI issues, osteopenia (I don't know if I'll get any data on that, honestly, but its worth mentioning), unfortunately increasing cholesterol, a dysautonomic disorder, chronic joint pain, and sciatic pain. Plus I'm officially obese but I know quite a bit of it is muscle/just how I'm built, and the other part is having to be on antipsychotics that really made me gain weight. (Every time I get my weight checked and tell it to my mom, she's like 'you do NOT look like you weigh that much!') I had migraines on hormonal (estrogen) birth control, but I'm hoping that doesn't come back on T.
In addition, I'm allergic to aluminum and nickel, so I can't use antiperspirant (just alum free deodorant--there are aluminum salts in antiperspirant) or traditional step/heart rate tracker watches (because most of those have nickel in the metal bits). To get around this, I will probably need to up my hygiene game--I shower almost nightly and use deodorant 2 times a day, but that will probably need to increase, especially in summer--and use a step counter without all the fancy trackers that I can clip to my belt or hang around my neck, which is fine with me.
I'm hoping to use this to document how my specific conditions effect my T treatment and overall transition. It's also of note that I have been on T briefly before, but it's been a hell of a long time.
(Note: I'm not sure if all these things can be attributed to T, they're just things I've noticed being different since I started. I'm currently doing .20 mls of sub-q injections a week.)
- My sweat smells different. Not exactly better or worse but it's definitely stronger. Kind of more sour as well?
- My throat is sore most of the time. In the morning, if I don't drink a ton of water, I can barely speak. A lady over the phone asked, completely unprompted, if I have a cold, because I kind of just always sound congested now.
- I'm so tired sometimes, and i sleep a lot more. I got like 11 hours of sleep a few nights ago (I normally get 6-8 if I'm lucky).
- I'm getting a little hungrier, though not by much.
- I'm not any more horny than usual, in fact I think my sex drive is lower than normal. Haven't noticed any bottom growth either. everyone works different I guess.
I'll reblog with more updates once a week for as long as I remember, so bookmark or follow me if you wanna hear more I guess
June 10th marks my 1 year on testosterone, and although this post is probably posted after that date, I thought i'd make a big 1 year update on my timeline on (low dose) androgel. Here you'll find my thoughts on using gel instead of shots, my current and future transition plans ,thoughts on still not passing one year on T, and my full timeline of changes. I imagine this will be a very long post, so buckle up. Feel free to ask or DM me any questions
My starting dose in June of 2022 was 1 pump of 1% androgel daily, which has 12.5mg of testosterone. In December of 2022 my dose was upped to 2 pumps of the same gel, so 25mg of testosterone applied daily. The gel has the same consistency as hand sinitizer and dries within 20 or so seconds when applied. The gel has risk of transferring to other people or harming pets, especially within that first hour of applying. If you go on gel, be careful about tranfering it to people who might not want extra testosterone in their system. That being said, one year on androgel, and I have had no issues with tranfering the gel to other people or harming my 2 cats and dog. I started off applying the gel to my left upper arm and shoulder, but occasionally switched to my right arm and shoulder, but recently have been applying the gel to my abdomen
Now onto the timeline part
The immediate and most impactful effect was the change testosterone had on my mood. I struggled with depression for all of my life, and suddenly that was just gone. One year on T, and I am happy (as well as EXTREMELY surprised) to say that I don't have depression anymore. I have a lot more energy, I'm rarely sad these days, let alone depressed. This won't be the case for everone, but it was the case for me. 4 days on testosterone I was flexing as I passed mirrors, not proud of that
one. I also noticed that my general body temperature went up, I have bad circulation so my hands used to always be cold, and that has lessened. Also within the first
month, I noticed increased hair growth. Stomach hair, and also hair where I applied the gel on my arm. Just a little bit more, but noticable. My labido went up a lot, like it was insane. I was able to gain muscle mass easier. I started growing hair on my thighs, which I never had before. I also noticed a small amount of facial hair growth.
Not many more changes happened until my dose was upped in December, because I was started on a really, low dose and still am on a fairly low dose. after getting my dose upped to 2 pumps of gel, I did start actually noticing bottom growth, but looking back i'm sure I did have some amount of bottom growth before December, but it definitely got more noticable when the dose was upped. Around mid February, my voice had some drastic changes. The median of my voice used to be 190-200hz, and now it's 130-140hz. Technically in the "male range", but I still don't think my voice passes, maybe it's androgynous. The voice drop was rather sudden, although not extremely drastic. I had to sort of learn how to speak properly again without my voice cracking, not being used to the new range. Before my voice even got lower, I knew it was going to drop soon because I noticed it just couldnt go higher like it used too. My voice drop started with losing the higher range rather then going lower. I've noticed that my body fat has I think begun to redistribute, I hold a lot of fat in my stomach rather then hips. I never dealt with much acne on my face, but my back around the left shoulder where I first applied my testosterone has a lot of acne. Hair growth has continued, which honestly has been one of my favourite things. I never thought i'd have such a strong attachment to stomach hair. I still have my period, which absolutely sucks.
Thoughts On Not Passing One Year On T
I'm still not where I want to be one year on T, and that is a little bit hard on me. I'm not saying I regret it, because testosterone is the best thing that has ever happened for me, but it's a special kind of hurt seeing other people with the same timeline that i'm on that pass while I still don't. which is exactly why I think I wanted to add this part in here. I still don't pass as male, while being one year on T. I think maybe starting T made me feel more present in my body, which is good, but also led me to have to really face all of the dysphoria and issues I have with myself. I used to be able to ignore it by dissociating, without even realizing that that's what I was doing. Being misgendered has just begun to hurt more, because now it feels like a failure on my part (or my bodys part) because I can get angry, asking myself why after a year on tesosterone I still am not passing. It leaves me afraid, I think. Maybe I always testosterone was THE thing I needed and then i'd pass consistently after just a couple of months, but that just didn't happen for me. I assumed that it would just be easy. I think that has to do a lot with the culture when I came out. People didn't share timelines if they were unhappy or non passing, or if they did they were laughed off the internet. This is because I started questioning my gender around 2016, and came out in early 2018, where "SJW TRANS CRINGE COMPILATION" was like... the norm on YouTube.
People shared a lot less of their struggles in fear of being lumped into that and being harassed, or they just felt like maybe during those times the passing trans people should take the stage because it was easier for cis people to digest and understand. I don't blame anyone for not sharing the hard parts of their medical transition, because this is very personal stuff and people will question you if you say youre not 1000% happy to be where you are, but i'm glad that I see more people talking about not being satisfied with how their transition is going, and how they still don't pass X amount of time into being on testosterone. It's nice to see posts and videos and timeline updates like that. These things take different amount of times for different people, and that's alright.
It's hard, but I'm alright with it. The fact that I am where I am at all is something i never thought i'd get to at all. I'm proud to be where I am, when I think about it.
Testosterone has helped me greatly. I'm a happy person now, happiest i've ever been, and I see a future for myself now. A very happy one. Without even passing, testosterone has helped me so much. Just internally. I don't know how much of my happiness comes from just having consistent hormone levels everyday, or if my depression was just all a manifestation of background dysphoria that is being directly treated by hormone therapy now.
On Gel Vs. Shots and Dosage
I'm not really sure what made me decide to take gel rather than the shots, but I was adment on gel. I don't know how I feel about that decision in the long run.
For cons about the gel, it's expensive.
Around $200CAD every 2 months. It's really hard without insurance. I don't think my changes have been slow because of gel,
just because of my low dose. It's hard to contact my endo, and they even sent bloodwork paper to the wrong location, so generally it's been a bit hard to get my dose upped. I also started T as a minor (17) so that is specifically why I was kept on a low dose to start with. I'm assuming that now that i'm an adult, it will be easier to get my dosage upped. Being on the gel I also kind of feel, not left out, but not really a part of the classic transmasc doing their T shot experience, which I did always assume i'd do when I was 12-13 and I first came out because I didn't know gel was an option. These days, there's more talk of gel and patches, which I think is definitely good for people exploring their testosterone options.
For pros of gel, consistant hormone levels daily is very very good for me I find. There's no big spikes and low lows like there would be with weekly or biweekly shots, it's just daily consistent levels. I can feel kind of bad if I miss a day of gel, which i'm unsure if that is caused by me mentally knowing that I don't have testosterone for that day. or if that's actually just due to not having the regular hormones that I get daily. This is one of the reasons Why i'm unsure about switching to shots despite the expense of the gel. I don't think I would do good at all with such major fluctuations to my hormone levels, and it's not something I really want to play around with in fear of my mental health declining again with big hormone fluctuations like that. I also like the little daily routine of putting on gel everyday, it fits into my routine well and I feel i'm more likely to remember a daily routine rather then weekly or biweekly
I think often about maybe switching to shots, but I just don't know if the increased risk to my mental health with big hormone fluctiations is at all worth it.
I'm hoping to ask my endo about 1.62% gel and if its available in my area, because it has a higher concentration of testosterone and one pump would nearly be my current dose of 2 pumps of 1% gel, so id need to refill it the same amount of time for a bigger dose, instead of doing 3 pumps of the 1% gel, which I would need to refill more frequently which would cost more money more often.
Uncertainty of Medical Transition
This may be a shock considering i've been talking about how much medical transition has helped me, but I want sure if I even wanted to go on testosterone at all at one point. I've been out for from ages 12-18, and flip flopped on what I wanted many times. I knew I wanted to be on testosterone when I first came out, but that waned with time. I think after being out for so long without medical internevntion, the idea seemed so far away, I sort of let myself believe that it would never be able to happen. I let myself believe that maybe I didn't want to medically transition, becuase it was easier then addressing the fact that it would take a lot of time and it would be a hard process that I didnt know how to start it. It was a hard, confusing process to get hRT as a minor. There want just a quick guide for my area that I could find, if there was one at all it was in the depths of a website that hadnt been updated in a decade and was hard to traverse. I was at the appointment to get my perscription, uncertain about it. I took the step anyway, holding on to that sliver of hope that maybe I could actually have that life I dreamed of as a child
It turns out that going on testosterone was the best decision i've ever made. I'm glad, and i'm very lucky, that I stepped into the unknown.
The Future of My Transition
I'm largely happy, hoping that my testosterone dose gets upped again soon. I'm hoping to actually start passing with an upped dose, too.
I'm in the process for top surgery, which is another thing I thought could NEVER happen to me. So far out of reach, for more fortunate people, but this month i'm going to be sending all my forms in to see if my top surgery can get covered. I could have top surgery within the year. I have never been more happy in my entire life.
I think that's really all, My life is going good. I'm generally happy with my medical transition, despite not being exactly at the point where I want to be, but every single day gets a little bit easier for me. Feel free to look back on some of my other update posts, which i'm sure go more in depth, and of course ask me any questions. I'm happy to share, I know timelines on gel are a little bit harder to find.
If anybody is reading this who is considering testosterone, debating gel, or early on testosterone and trying to map out what their future will look like, I want to say hi hi hi hello. You'll be alright. You'll figure it out. You can not medically transition ever. or do it later in your life, or go on testosterone and then go off if you decide it isn't right for you. I genuinely believe that everything will all work out. Take your time, enjoy your life, there is community out there for you.
Celebrated my 21st birthday in Hawaii with my beautiful mama. Our relationship had its very rocky periods, if I asked 18 year old me if I thought this is where I would be I would have laughed. I started t four days after I turned 19 and I couldn't ask for a better experience. There's not a single thing I dislike about the effects hormones have had on me. I'm so much happier and comfortable. I look forward to the coming years especially now that transitioning isn't at the forefront of my mind. Im planning to have top surgery at the end of this year or early in 2022 (if yall wanna help me out at all with that my PayPal's in my bio👉👈). Thanks to everyone who's seen and liked my progress pics throughout.💙💗💙💗
