May 10, 2025
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}:^\
medic was literally sent to hell because pyro felt bad for medic and he wanted his dad (the devil) to be a good person for once.
Pyro read medic's diary and it made him cry. While medic was on his way to heaven, hugging his dead family members, suddenly, he was sent to hell. He had memory loss due to the punch a nazi gave him. He was scared but then, suddenly, the devil gave sympathy to medic. Why? Because pyro immediately returned to his dad, and he told him about his tragic backstory. Satan at first wasn't impressed. Pyro also told him, that if he doesn't act like a good person for once, he's gonna call mom and tell her to not give him candies Satan is afraid of his divorced wife. So he sighs and said to his son : "son, I can't believe I'm saying this but... I-I want to help him using the baboon uterus that donkey kong's abusive baboon wife gave me". Medic was in heaven, hugging his family members, crying for them to come back... and then, suddenly, he was grabbed by Satan and fell to hell. At first, medic didn't know why he was in hell? Because he's actually a good person who rescued over 1000 doves, took care on over 20 orphaned children well, rescued over 5000 orphaned children from a nazi and Soviets prisons, he became a healer to honor his aunt and her friends, he donated some of his blood to children in need, he helped a lot of people, and he uses animal organs to save sick children with his aunt's technique. So why he's in hell? Nothing, pyro's dad just didn't want to get beaten by his wife, so he started to be a good person for once. Because if pyro didn't tell to his wife, then Satan will make fun of him... so pyro's dad decided to help medic get revenge on a nazi supporter who's actually classic heavy... because Satan was afraid of what classic heavy did in ww2... so, after medic's memory returned, pyro told him that he gave his soul to Satan. Medic immediately begged for him to give it back!!! At first, Satan wasn't impressed, but after seeing medic's cotton candy machine, he was immediately impressed. Because the devil (aka pyro's dad) has a massive sweet tooth. So, he gave medic his soul back and medic's life became better. Because medic adopted a baby baboon that he got from a disgusting bastard who abuses him, and named him after the child with cancer he gave his bone marrow to and he cured him. And the baby baboon's name is Andy feischer. Which made me emotional.
medic isn't a terrible person, he's just misunderstood. He had no idea what he's saying, he's just a war victim trying to make it out without getting abused and ashamed...
he didn't deserve these horrible things
What do you think, beautiful headcanon?
Been re-reading the comics and one thing that’s been lingering in my mind is when Medic says the team won bc everyone else doesn’t have a soul
Probably a throw away line, but its got me thinking. We don’t know exactly what Medic’s contract w the devil was. All we know is that Medic sold his soul and upon his death he would go straight to hell. One might think “oh he sold it for his medical abilities” which is good in theory, but then we have the Two Cities update. There, it describes Medic’s hometown of Rottenburg.
Most important line here is “chasing the next in resident lineage of mad doctors out of town…whenever they swapped out too many super-charged baboon hearts”. Medic comes from a family of doctors/medical personnel. Its likely that he grew up with dissections, scalpels, and everything else that makes him the man he is.
So! What could possibly be the deal with the devil? My theory is that rather gaining medical abilities, he enhanced his own. I can very easily see a frazzled Ludwig on the brink of a miracle only to fall short due to costs/capability/fragility of the human body. Medic is definitely a smart man, but it wasn’t enough.
See how the Devil says “you would have ended up here anyways”? Medic has always been a mad man. He just got the chance of a lifetime to make his wildest dreams a reality.
Now, why the extra souls? Again, Medic is a smart man, and he knows that under normal circumstances, the rest of the team would die from his experiments. Think of the Meet the Medic video. Heavy is fully conscious with his entire torso open. You can chalk it up to being silly game logic, but for the sake of my post, lets pretend he’d be dead any other way.
By removing his soul (and everyone else’s) Medic likely preformed a similar deal. He’s not the type of scientist to denounce the supernatural. The mercs can clearly use magic as seen in the Halloween gameplay, so how different can magic be from a devil’s powers? (Dont answer that). By taking their souls, Medic was able to enhance everyone else in a similar fashion. Whether it be durability, intelligence, or just a vague “they’re all stronger now lol” the mercs outlasted their predecessors. Despite being called jokes/loser mercenaries, they beat the tfc crew into the dust (with the help of Pauling and Zhanna ofc).
All in all, this is just a half baked thought i put together. Probably lots of holes in it if I take a deep dive, but its fun to think about!
MS paint doodle of Medic summoning satan? But, like, make it goofy. Maybe he's drawing the summoning circle with lipstick, or doing it on Heavy's back while Heavy naps. And the devil being absolutely done with the cunty science man/amateur magician
german boys make do
[send a request, get a shitty mspaint doodle]
what pressies the other mercs would get medic because its his bday!!
also cause im done with collage now yippee yippee!!
heavy: food for archimedies, new gloves and boots, a book on old timey medicine, a love letter and extra snuggles :)
demo and sniper: see, the difference between these two is that sniper just got him a generic beer but i think demo would find a really specific wine, and like dose calculations on wines medic already drinks to find the perfect new one (snipers usally too far away from any shop he can use and beer is always appreciated)
spy: cufflinks or masc perfume. its the expensive kind though so it smells weird but still nice.
engie: new tools that were ment for like construction but next week hes getting healed with them. so long as they get used hey?
pyro: lots of different plasters with like unicorns and hello kitty and superheros on them
soldier: lots of old comics that he found and a museum gift shop gift (think like a mount rushmore trinket)
scout: he panicked and brought socks with weenie dogs on them and is surprised when medic still like them (medic has that old man mindset where he goes buckwild for new socks)
miss pauling: a new sweater with a cow on it (he also gets ecstatic over new sweaters) and a new type of instant coffee
bonus two!! :
the devil: (look he has to get his ex something)
me: jars to store the organs he gets in!!
Day 17: Demon
Never trust a portal that randomly popped in front of you, and don't be surprised if that portal's a one way ride. At least he got a way back
my voice claim for tf2 god and satan are miku and Mickey Mouse, respectively