Ratiorine




#interview with the vampire#iwtv#the vampire armand#assad zaman

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Ratiorine
Imagine you’re 14 with undiagnosed autism and you pick up a copy of trc feeling really alone and in front of you is a character who can’t verbalise how he feels at any given moment because his emotions are too big to put into words, a character who sees the people he’s closest to misreading him as uncaring when his heart hurts so much from how much he deeply cares, a guy who’s emotions come out in short bursts and more often than not misinterpreted as careless or mean or cynical when they were all he could think to do… and then you find out that Gansey, wonderful bright Gansey, would rather throw away what would be more socially normal in order to make sure Ronan stays afloat and maybe even feel loved… yeah
Sir, don't. Show them who you are. This is who I am. No, it never has been. We hold the line, if you cross it now then there's no way back.
Charles wanted to live. Except now, he would accept eternity as a ghost if it’s with Edwin.
Edwin wanted to feel safe. Except now, he would risk everything if it meant staying with Charles.
Okay I know these games are old, and I know the Kaiden discourse is probably so tired, but damn my boy was done dirty by the writing!
He has so many interesting things that come up in his backstory in ME1, and we explore NONE of it! He’s an L2! He has chronic migraines because the tech in his brain is faulty, and he’s one of the lucky ones! How did that impact his military career? Does the stress of saving the galaxy make his flare ups worse? Does the rest of the crew even know what he’s dealing with most of the time?
And, I’m sorry, but his reaction on Horizon is so understandable. If you watched your commanding officer die, you physically watched them get spaced and could do nothing to help them, and then two years later there are rumors that they’re back and they show up LEADING A KNOWN TERRORIST GROUP, you would probably need more than a “you know me” to get past that too. What, to Kaiden Alenko would seem more likely, that you were asleep for the past 2 years and just recently woke up and immediately started working for Cerberus, or that you had been alive this whole time and had just never contacted anyone because you were working with a terrorist organization? What the Lazarus Project achieved had literally never happened before.
It also feels deeply out of character for him to be mad at you for “cheating on him” in ME2, because Kaiden is usually so aware of, and willing to accept, the consequences of his actions. He made a mistake and scared the girl he loved when he was 17, and it impacted all aspects of his behavior for the literal rest of his life. This is a man who is DEEPLY aware of the effects of his words and actions. He knows he ended things with you, he knows that he was the one that walked away. Kaiden Alenko has been observed in one way or another for his entire life, he says as much in ME1. He’s always had to be more careful than other people, better, more loyal, above suspicion. He had to be the perfect soldier to make up for a defect he had no hand in creating. So, of course, when Shepard shows up with Cerberus he does what a good soldier would do, he ends things with the woman he loves and stays loyal to the alliance.
I think if Shepard does move on he would be devastated, but I also think he would take it on the chin. Just another thing he missed out on. Just another thing he doesn’t get to have because he’s Kaiden, and his job is to be a good soldier, to live and die for the greater good. To do anything required of him. To prove he’s more than a faulty product.
so the live action was happening anyway, Dean just stepped in to make sure not everything was sabotaged, and create a 'new' version. hmm.
listen listen listen listen. i am never going to get over singed & viktor. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE MENTAL ANGUISH. THE MESS OF EMOTIONS VIKTOR HAS TO DEAL WITH. he's so steadfast with his morals and ideals. hextech must not be weaponized. dangerous science is fine as long as the only person at risk of getting hurt is me. the moment it kills someone else he's fucking BROKEN by it and just throws in the gd towel. YET SINGED WAS THE ONE WHO TAUGHT HIM. like just. imagine, ok. imagine— take the premise that singed & viktor were actually pretty close. viktor was lonely as a kid, but he found company in rio. in singed. singed provides a space and opportunity for viktor to do his science stuff. "we can be loners together." here's someone he probably has a decent amount of affection and respect for, maybe even admires like a kid would a mentor/role model/parental figure. and he hurts rio. and viktor doesn't understand, he can't reconcile this. "we can be loners together," but also, "you did this?" viktor's got like a whole slew of emotions to deal with. What the fuck? How could you? I hate you. But also, "I told you, I was consulting a friend about our quandary."
"You built this? Why aren't you playing with the others?"
"We can be loners together."
Like just what are you supposed to do when someone who provided for you — who took care of you, who looked after you as a kid — hurts someone? Someone that you care about? What the FUCK are you supposed to when that person is willing to torture and kill for science — something that you are also passionate about, the very thing you both found commonality in, bonded over — and does it all without even a hint of remorse? What are you supposed to think?
Are you allowed to find comfort and safety in that person anymore? Can you still have good memories about them, and look back at them fondly? Can you be thankful for all the good that person's done for you?
What does it say about you, if they're the one who influenced you so much so early in your life, and here they are now?
Viktor gets Sky killed, and can you imagine what must've been running through his head? I'm no better than him. I'm turning out just like him. I am just like him. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
AND IT'S JUST.
AAGGHH!!!