#thinking some thoughts

[antonsprincess]

subby bf anton who begs to fuck u raw under the guise that he won’t come inside, only for u to get pinned down by his body weight in the end, unable to do anything as the apologetic thing cries “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry” with every thrust as he fills u up ‹𝟹

[somepsychopomp]

I want to write a one shot AU where Robert like absorbed the power of the Astral Pulse in the crash and wakes up from his coma with superpowers, but I also hate stories where someone who is limited in some meaningful way (whether they have no powers, are disabled, etc.) just gets a new, permanent "solution" forever.

I have a few alternative ideas but idk which would work best in practice:

Robert is essentially a walking atomic bomb, but every time he uses his powers, he's degrading his own body because his organic nature can't handle the power as well as his suit could, and after a finite amount of time, his powers will kill him. (I like this idea in theory but imo it's too similar to Chase's position so I'm trying to find other alternatives)

Robert is deeply radioactive and is actively decaying or mutating the living beings around him (he's immune to his own radiation but he is definitely going to give everyone around him cancer if he doesn't wear a lead-lined hero suit/clothes. Also this will give him severe issues with intimacy.)

Similar to my desire to give this man chronic pain, Robert can use the power of the Pulse freely without killing himself, but the trade off is that it's excruciating for him to do so. He's stronger, faster, and more resilient than he was before by a wide, wide margin, but his entire body feels like it's in a constant state of breaking down & being put back together. (Because the Pulse is actively destroying him every single second of the day but also regenerating his body at the same time. I know that kinda sounds like Deadpool but trust me it's different. Robert can shoot lasers and fly and stuff.)

Any which way I go, I definitely think Robert in this AU would want to restore the Mecha Man suit in the hopes of somehow transferring the Astral Pulse's power to it once more, because yeah sure he has powers and he's super strong now, but he's miserable and lonely and suffering because of it.

[jarpadecki]

[screamlet]

micelli's date nightmare (ver 2.5)

this is part meta, part fic, an alternate micelli's date from 8x6. word count: 2.7k

---

"that was kind of weird."

"no it wasn't. you're hot, so is she. it's okay to look."

"yeah, right, and i noticed you didn't." 

"i'm a kinsey 6," tommy says, kind of incredulous.

"i'm not sure what that means?" buck asks, as the audience surrogate.

and that's a problem, because in-universe buck is no longer the whole audience's surrogate. now he's a man who discovered his queerness later in life; he's a man in a queer relationship with another man; he's someone who celebrates a six-month anniversary out in public with his male partner. there's people in the audience who can see and celebrate parts of that journey with buck, who have been there or see how they can get there in their own exploring, but that's a road that not a lot of people have gone down or ever will. he doesn't belong to the general audience anymore, but the show needed him to still be the surrogate because we as the audience know buck.

but it's been six months and the audience needs to catch up on What It Means To Be Queer. so we get... "i'm not sure what that means?"

buuuuuuuuuuuut what if.

---

buck takes the picture for that girl and her friends, gets all weird because he could be perceived to be flirting with a woman while on a date (his gay anniversary dinner with a gay man who is his gay boyfriend). despite his awkwardness, she doesn't quite get that the big dude waiting for him is his date, his boyfriend. she's hot, he's awkward and hot, whatever.

so maybe she follows buck back to his table because she doesn't read them as being on a date! maybe he's a guy who doesn't want to ditch his buddy and like, it's micelli's!!! everyone's having fun, one of her friends really likes big guys, this could totally be something tonight!!

"thanks again for taking the picture for us," photo lady says as she comes back to the table with buck. she pauses and addresses both buck and tommy: 

"um, so we're actually celebrating our friend getting a promotion at work. it's just us girls right now, but would you guys want to join us?" 

maybe buck starts blushing because aaaahhh a lady hitting on him AND tommy, whaaaaat does he saaaaay

but tommy's like, "we'd love to… some other time, but, haha, i'm gay, like kinsey 6 gay, and he's…"

it takes a second, but buck manages: "uh!! his date!!"

"his date to our anniversary dinner," tommy corrects (dryly)

"and i'm still working my way around my number!! kinsey number. it's just for fun."

"oh! omg, congratulations!! and, uh. what's… what scale is that?"

tommy says, cutely, "where you fall on a range of heterosexual and homosexual desire. it's just for fun."

"ooh i'm gonna look that up, it sounds fun! okay, have a good night, guys, and congrats again!!!"

she leaves, their date continues, but buck's uncomfortable. "wow, haha, you just. told her we were on a date."

"you told her we were on a date," tommy says. "i told her we were here for our anniversary. was that a problem?"

"no, just."

"because we're in a restaurant for our anniversary."

"right, but. we're not like, being loud about it."

big fake tommy pout. "you didn't call ahead and tell them? they're not gonna bring us a cake with a giant dick on it, with little sixes for each testicle, and sing something from the village people? it's been so long since i heard macho man in public."

and haha very funny and buck is smiling but he's more uncomfortable than he's smiling. "i just didn't think of it, that's all."

"... which part? the giant dick cake, or the part where i told a stranger that we were on a date?" pause. "did you not want me to tell her?"

"no, uh, it's not that. or maybe it is that. i don't know." buck thinks. "i haven't done it before, you know? like, no one's ever asked."

now tommy's a little guarded. "yeah. you've been passing. you're still butch little buck to the world."

"and you pass, too! like, you're really… you know."

tommy nods. (maybe he kinda wants to jab at buck because he can't say the word masculine or butch or even say he's on a date with a man, but he doesn't.)

"it's funny but i think i don't," tommy says. "maybe it's the paranoia, internalized homophobia, toxic masculinity in the army and the 118 but… i've always felt like i stick out like a sore thumb. i've always felt like people know."

"they really don't, i promise."

tommy tilts his head. "how do you know?"

"i mean… well, okay, i did… tell eddie you were gay."

"what, recently? he didn't notice the couple of dozen times i've called you my boyfriend in the last six months? or the other way around?"

"no, way at the beginning after our last first date. i said something like, you don't hide it but you don't advertise it. he didn't know."

"and you think eddie is everyone?" tommy lets out a big breath. "well, he's not. you're both very adorable and very dense, mr. i didn't know he was jealous until he sprained my ankle and mr. i didn't know i had a crush until i sprained his ankle. other people, they might notice."

buck motions over his shoulder. "they didn't notice. they didn't know until you told them."

"one of them didn't." pause. "is it a problem that i told them?"

"... no, no of course not."

tommy's eyebrows go up. "so now those five women in the los angeles area know you like to fuck men. now what?"

"a man. i like you."

"right. you like me and you like to fuck me."

takes buck a minute to say, "right… well, it's not always…"

tommy laughs. "i meant categorically. kinsey 1? you think i'm your one and done?"

"i don't care about the scale, i care about you."

"it's not about the scale, buddy."

suddenly, perfect timing, a giant plate of spumoni arrives at their table. "from the ladies," the waiter says. there's a piece of paper to go with it that the waiter hands to tommy.

(is this the hot waiter? maybe he hands the paper to tommy and they share a look that buck doesn't like. there's lingering eye contact and it feels weirdly knowing even though they're strangers. probably strangers. does tommy know him? maybe the waiter's gay, too, and maybe he and tommy have hooked up? but tommy would have said something, or will say something. now tommy's unfolding the paper and definitely looking at the waiter's ass as he walks away. it's all A Lot and buck's upset, even as he remembers "it's okay to look."

(but does that apply to tommy, who knows he's gay? because he thought tommy meant it like, it's okay for buck to keep looking at women or still sometimes look at women because he's new to this. but tommy still looks at men even when he's with buck? that's—well okay of course he does, tommy knows what he likes, buck isn't dumb, or so cocky that he thinks he's the only guy tommy ever wants to look at again. tommy likes men. he's gonna look at men, and buck is gonna see him look at men sometimes.

(does anyone else see it, when tommy checks out men?)

"the note's from them?" buck turns around and the girls wave at them. buck weakly gives a thumbs up and turns back to tommy, who's cracking up at the note. he hands it to buck:

sorry for hitting on you during your anniversary date!!! the spumoni here is SO GOOD! also: rachel b. (that's me!!): 2 (does my sister's bachelorette party count?) cindy: 4 (seven sisters school haha) patricia: 00000000 (boring! sorry! and you guys are so hot!!! please reconsider? jk!!!) rachel s.: 5 (i thought i was the token gay and here's CINDY) sarah (recently a divorcée): 1 but that number is going UP happy anniversary!!!!!

"oh, wow," buck says. "that's a lot of information."

tommy gets up and heads over to the women, crouches at their table. buck turns around and watches the way he makes them laugh, the way one of them touches his arm, the little glances they throw buck's way—it's different. it's different from the way tommy was acting with him here. he's louder and… gayer. hands way more… out there. lots of head tilts. one of the women from the other side of the table gets up and hugs tommy tight, and they all call out byeeeeeeeeeee tommyyyyyyy as he comes back. he's turning bright red as he sits with buck again. heads around the restaurant turn towards them and buck feels frozen on the spot.

tommy looks happy, then disappointed. "was that too much?"

"too much what?"

tommy raises his eyebrows.

"you keep doing that, like—"

"did i queen it up too much for you?"

"no i just… didn't know you were like that. or could be, sometimes."

tommy looks like he's about to say something bitchy, but then he puts it away. "that's what i mean. sometimes i'm obvious, even if you can't see it."

"i mean, that was obvious. you just put on a show for everyone."

tommy laughs, shocked surprise, and kind of angry. "and does that upset you?"

"no, of course not!" buck pauses. "did you know that waiter?"

"the waiter?"

"yeah, you were like, looking at him, and you checked him out."

"and? you checked rachel b. out when she was here and i didn't say anything. i said it was okay to look. which of these things is a problem?"

buck checks himself. he doesn't really know what he's mad about, or if he's even mad. he's just uncomfortable. everything feels uncomfortable and weird, and like everyone's looking at him. that waiter knows something about tommy, those girls like tommy more than they like him, and why wouldn't they? tommy was so cool and easy with them, and buck's all weird and awkward with everyone, and their anniversary dinner kind of sucks now.

"are you okay?" tommy asks. "are you gonna make me eat this whole plate of spumoni by myself?" he pauses. "are you jealous of that waiter?"

"i don't know." buck sits back and sulks. "i hate this place. i don't know why we keep coming here."

"well, the pizza's pretty good, this spumoni is great, and the last time we were here, you told eddie we were gonna pick up some hot chicks after we saw our movie." tommy's foot nudges buck's under the table; buck startles. "you move on from that at all? you still wanna go pick up hot chicks? there's five right over your shoulder. they're thinking of hitting up rachel s.'s favorite lesbian bar. they even asked if we wanted to come with them."

buck looks panicked. "did you say yes?" suddenly he remembers himself. "sorry, sorry, i mean—like, women i've dated talk about it all the time, you know, going to gay bars so they don't get hit on."

tommy nods, then leans in: "but they're going to a lesbian bar so they do get hit on." tommy leans back and says, "which is pretty funny."

"is it?"

"isn't it?"

"like…" buck doesn't even know what he wants to say. he doesn't really—he can't picture, exactly, what bothers him. "like what if they do meet someone, you know? some nice lady? and they make out or hook up and then one of them is like, actually sorry this was fun but—"

"so what?" tommy's eyebrows are climbing into his hair again. "you've never hooked up at a bar or club and done that? sorry, this was fun…"

"but they…"

"they need to take it more seriously?"

"yeah. yes. exactly. it's serious business!! it's not just walking into some bar and making out with a—being a woman and making out with a woman and maybe that's your whole thing now, or it's not your thing and—and what if she gets hurt, you know?"

"the hypothetical dyke that will instantly fall in love with one of the kinsey zeros through four and have her heart broken?"

"stop making fun of me, i'm serious."

"i can tell but i don't know what you're serious about." tommy adjusts his chair, sits up straight, but buck notices how he pulls his chair back a little, like he's making more space. space to leave? is he gonna get up and leave because buck is doing too much, or saying the wrong things, or being weird about women, or thinking about women, or not—

"it's really funny, actually," tommy says. "that hypothetical lesbian bar romance is the most i've seen you engage with like, anything gay besides getting your dick in my mouth."

"jesus, tommy, we're in public." buck doesn't even realize he's said something weird until he sees how tommy has gone so quiet and still. "i care about stuff. i engage."

"really? you didn't go to pride."

"i was working, so were you."

"i would have traded shifts if you wanted to go."

buck's uncomfortable again. "did i have to go?"

"of course not, but did you want to go? have you gone before?"

"of course i have," buck says, but he's not sure. he's usually working, and sometimes they get calls to handle something during pride but it's rarely anything weird: dehydration, party drugs gone wrong or too far. they're usually in and out before buck can get much pride done.

"i'm working, usually," buck admits. "but if you wanted to go…"

"it's not really my scene, either, but you didn't feel like… any kind of call? any kind of curiosity? what it would be like to take the day off, go to pride, be there with a boyfriend? like you'd be out there in your little shorts—"

"i don't own little shorts."

tommy smiles and he looks kind of mean, like he got a cheap shot at his expense except buck doesn't get it.

"what? i don't! they make my thighs look too big."

"alright, forget that. but the rest of it. you didn't want to be out with other gay people, showing off your boyfriend, getting shown off by your boyfriend? because i would have." tommy suddenly goes still again. "i would have shown you off."

a real gut punch. "tommy, i didn't know you wanted to go."

"i didn't know how much you didn't want to go."

"it just… it doesn't feel like it's for me! i didn't…"

tommy waits. buck waits. 

"are you bisexual?" tommy asks. "pansexual? both? neither? queer? straight?"

defensively: "i'm not straight, i have a boyfriend."

"and that makes you…"

buck pauses. "i don't know." he looks at tommy, who looks worried.

"do you want to know?"

pause. "i guess i have to."

"you don't have to do anything, but it bugs me that you have a boyfriend and that's all you care about. it bothers me that it's been six months and you've never thought about all the times we've been clocked in public. being seen like that didn't bother you? or did you not notice?"

buck flinches. apparently the latter. "we have?"

"yes, evan. every coffee place or restaurant or bar with a little rainbow outside, and even the ones that don't. two guys head in together, standing close together, flirting with each other—"

"that doesn't mean…" buck hears himself. 

"what? maybe it doesn't mean we're there to check out the glory hole in the back, but it means we're probably a couple. does that bother you? i mean, it clearly does, but did you even realize until now that it bothered you?"

"no! it didn't bother me because it wasn't a big deal. you're making it a big deal. why can't we just go out and have fun? now i have to go around and count how many people think we're gay, or if people even notice, or if i'm being weird and making it obvious i'm with you, or…"

"and, six months late, welcome to my life," tommy says. "seriously, do you want any of this spumoni or what?"

[hxvnsentfangs]

i don't actually think that I've ever heard any critter talk about this but a really fun way to connect with your kin could be learning an instrument that sounds similar to that of your kin’s vocals. hear me out on this,, obvi this is long term and not everyone has access to an instrument or time to learn to play, but like wolf playing cello because it could sound similar to a howl is like pretty awesomesauce. bird playing piccolo, beaver on percussion, idk guys run with this making music is fun af

[jasonsweetie]

perreando with leo valdez 🤔🤔🤔

[dakotawritez0o]

I am SO DOWN BAD for brendon urie and I’m tired of pretending I’m not.

LOOK AT THIS PHOTO like I need him so bad oh my god

I WILL be cooking up panic at the disco (including the past members) headcanons & fanfics I swear 🙏

[mistedandfogged]

♠︎ Punish by Ethel Cain

alex forbes'

whatever is wrong with me, i will take to bed. i give in so easy. nature chews on me. little death like lead. poisonous and heavy. it has always been this way. i am punished by love.

to nigel colbie's

in the morning, i will mar myself again. he was a natural plauché saying, "you won't forget this." shame is sharp, and my skin gives so easy. only god knows, only god would believe that i was an angel, but they made me leave. they made me leave. i am punished by love.