#tma angst

[rat-in-a-cloak]

[watermelon-jollyranchers]

hey so this was actually insane thanks

[nopaintjustpain]

Hey.

Do you ever think part of the reason Georgie stayed by Jon’s bedside through all 6 months of his coma but then abruptly walked out of his life when he woke up is because she was fully expecting to be a caregiver for him during a long, grueling post-coma recovery process?

Do you think part of the reason she was so spooked by him waking up (relatively) unscathed is because she had mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared herself to take him in? That her best case scenario — what she had planned and hoped for — was that he’d wake up with severe cognitive and/or physical deficits, as one would expect from someone who survived an explosion and six months in a coma? That he’d have to re-learn how to walk or talk or eat or hold a spoon on his own? That he would *need* someone, and even if it wasn’t what she wanted for herself or him, she had decided she would step up and be that person for him?

It can be so jarring when you build up a vision of your near future around one assumption, only for that assumption to be completely shattered by reality. Do you think she constructed a future for him in her head, and when he woke up “fine”, she was so startled by the breaking of her expectations that it felt almost like a betrayal? And the sheer uncanny impossibility of him waking up “fine” made her think that her friend was dead after all?

Do you think that after Martin stopped coming around and Georgie found herself alone at Jon’s bedside, she realized she was all he had left in the world? The only one who held onto hope that he would survive in some form? The only one who thought he could wake up, severely disabled by his experiences but free at last? The only one who thought he deserved the chance at a mundane life after all of this, even if that life would look radically different? Do you think she grappled with the reality that if she didn’t step up for him, no one would? Do you think she spent long hours coping with the fact that she was going to have to take on new responsibilities and make new sacrifices for him, but she was willing to do it for an old friend who deserved better than the hand he was dealt? Do you think she mourned her old vision of her future, before she reconstructed that vision around caring for him?

Do you think she started talking to Jon’s doctors about what she could expect if she brought him home after he woke up? What kinds of disabilities he would live with, and what the prognosis was? About his quality of life afterwards? His road to recovery? Do you think she made up her spare bedroom with a severely disabled person in mind, and then started looking into hiring a part time caregiver to come help her make sure Jon got the help (she assumed) he’d need? Do you think she did all kinds of research into brain injuries and their aftermath? Physical therapy for people with severe atrophy? NG tubes for re-feeding severely starved people? Occupational therapists?

Do you think part of the reason she was so upset when he woke up (relatively) unscathed, lucid and talking and breathing on his own, maybe a little physically weak but still much like his old self, is because she had realistic expectations of what his life would look like after his injuries? And seeing him suddenly defy all odds by waking up into a full cognitive and physical recovery — a completely unrealistic hope that she never even considered as part of the realm of possibility — only reinforced the idea that the old Jon was dead, and this new Jon wasn’t safe for her to be around?

Do you think it hurt when she realized she couldn’t bring him home?

I think about that.

[fabulousestestest]

thinking about becoming a corruption avatar as the tma version of hanahaki, where unrequited love or being deprived of any kind of love causes you to seek the 'love' of the hive, or attract it. and. could this potentially have happened to martin with his mother and the way jon treated him in s1. discuss.

[yeoldecryptid]

You ever think about how Gerry and Gertrude were probably each other’s last ditch, desperate effort to have any kind of connection that didn’t end horribly?

[am-i-jojo]

Set shortly after MAG92.

With a burned hand and an healing cut on his throat, John is in no condition to take care of himself. Tim finds him on the verge of tears in his office, after a failed attempt at tying his hair that resulted in the reopening of his wounds. So, for reasons outside Tim’s understanding, he impulsively decides to take him home, help him wash up and finally do his hair in a simple braid.

[applecidersstuff]

Ep 160 ‘the eye opens’ is probably the only episode where you can hear John SMILING when he begins the statement! There are a few episodes where he audibly smiles when the ‘food’ is meant to be smiling, but ep 160 was the only episode where he’s actually smiling himself

Let that sink in, the episode where the apocalypse starts and where he basically (unwillingly) pulls the trigger, is the only episode where John isn’t done with his life like in season 1 and 2, and isn’t hating himself for having to read the statements. He’s genuinely HAPPY and the worst part is you can hear it, and how it slowly changes to horror when he realizes who the statement is from

[sydneighsays]

I drew some Jon cuz he's begrudgingly my favorite

[ID: Magnus Archives fanart of Jon Sims, a thin brown man with chin-length white-streaked hair. In the first piece, he frowns as he holds up a manila folder and says, "| know you guys hate me, but please stop hiding the statements.. I need them." The second piece shows him sitting on the floor of his office in front of his desk, biting his nails with a tired, distant expression. The lighting is dim and yellow. Captions show there's knocking followed by a muffled "Jon?"

End ID]

ID by princess-of-purple-prose