#toxic polyamory

[askdraltoclef]

https://www.tumblr.com/askdraltoclef/800973231618211840/httpswwwtumblrcomaskdraltoclef80097256126567?source=share

🤭🤭🤭

Don't be silly, Cinnamon.

You're gonna have to come and find me again...but you won't be able to 🤭😛

Come and get me...But I can't promise you'll want to leave 😈

(I'm going to make an OC based specifically off of this interaction and make an account for him. Thank you for the inspiration Bread and Cinnamon 🥹🫶)

(also, I'm really glad it doesn't. I'll apologize directly if anyone ever seems uncomfortable)

Got the colors mixed up there blood

[miniatureorcboi]

Almost one year ago,

I removed myself from a friend group. At the time, I was confused, angry, wondering if I was bad at polyamory, wondering if I was a bad friend, a bad partner, and a clingy asshole.

After a year of healing, therapy, introspection, and shadow work, I’m in a much better place. I’m confident in my relationship with my fiancee. I’m more comfortable in polyamory. I have more confidence in myself and my choices. I feel more secure in my friendships. I can look back at the mistakes I made during that conflict and learn from them.

The reality is that I left a very toxic situation where I was made to feel like a nag and a problem. A situation where I was accused of talking behind their backs while they talked behind mine. Where I was gaslit. Where I heard out of pocket shit and told that I remembered it wrong. Where my experience was invalidated at every turn. Where people conveniently forgot previous conversations. Where I was isolated and secretly disdained. Even after I had removed myself, they tried to get me kicked out of ttrpg games I’ve been in for years.

I have a lot of healing left. I’m still angry at times when I think about it.

But it does not consume my life. It does not slow me down in my dreams. And I hope every one of them gets some therapy.

[gatoself]

Idk who needs to hear this but someone voicing their concerns about areas they feel neglected in within your relationship with them does not mean that they are "unable to feel compersion"

[mintplaceapparel]

Toxic monogamy: a monogamous relationship that is toxic in some form or fashion.

Toxic polyamory: that’s just the nature of polyamory.

[discoveringpolyamory]

Red Flags in Polyamory: One-Sided Polyamory — Discovering Polyamory

Relationships can become one-sided in several ways. This is why it's vital to learn the signs of this Polyamory Red Flag.

A Polyamory Red Flag everyone needs to look out for, especially when you're are starting out, is when it favours one person over all others. 

The problem with One-Sided Polyamory is that it can come about through several avenues, some more toxic than others. It can come from selfishness, when someone simply doesn't care about fairness in their relationships. There's toxic monogamy and partners who insist on maintaining a sense of hierarchy. And then there's also emotional blindness, when a partner simply can't see beyond their own needs. 

But it doesn't matter why or how polyamory can become one-sided. All that matters is that it's toxic, and seeing it develop is a Polyamory Red Flag. 

[livingfictionsystem]

So, I threw away their unrequited love crystal.

Fun Rowan story, since their little white knight decided to pester us.

So, both Rowan and I were dating the same person. But it seemed like Rowan kept pushing the idea of us all being in a triad.

See, I'm polyamorous to the core, but I was poly-saturated and, though Rowan and I were good friends at the time, I didn't have any romantic inclination toward them.

When we first met in person, I told Rowan I didn't want to sleep with them, and they of course ignored that, so with the aid of a kitchen knife, I was convinced into letting us be friends with benefits.

WELL. After a while of me continually ducking out of any romantic hints, they finally told me that they had, for my sake, magically funneled all of their unrequited feelings into a pink quartz tower. They then gifted that to me and told me to keep it safe.

Aaaaaand without even realising it, before Rowan had even read my journal and made me homeless, I discovered I must have thrown it away with my old box of other useless trinkets.

It did not, as they say, spark joy.

And it makes me giggle sometimes.

-Xanthe (Protector/Fictive)

[walkingscandalrambleramble]

An old crush is going through the same thing I am (a dynamic shift without my partner ever informing me), along with a break up. And I met her through D and I honestly feel so bad. She (like me) also got cheated on.

Why do the best humans get cheated on; and they date partners that doing it, DONT reprimand them. It’s so fucking GROSS.

The guy I like wants a partnership with me and instead I ask about his girlfriend and their relationship.

Cheating is gross, hiding things is gross, lying is gross. If you’re with someone and you allow it; you’re just as gross bro.

If you’re helping someone cheat, you are a gross human.

I’ve only and will only ever excuse sex work for this.

[walkingscandalrambleramble]

Feeling like your partner doesn’t want you around because they say they feel bad about spending NYE with you.