I wish people in my life tried.
Tried just a bit more harder whenever I push them away. If I say “nothing is wrong” all 10 times you asked me the first time, ask me another 20 times, 40 times, eventually I’ll open up to you. If you sense something is off, pull up and get me. Call me or message if you know something is wrong or if we have had an argument because you know how I overthink and start to self sabotage.
Just try a bit more.
Especially when you know how hard it is for me to open up and to trust. To have more patience with me when I’m being the most difficult person when I’m going through my mental battles. It’s fucking hard.
But I get it.
You do try and feel like your efforts are for nothing. That you are wasting your time and energy on someone who is not worth the time anymore. I understand how tiring and frustrating it is to be in my life. Even I don’t want to be there for myself anymore. It’s confusing and annoying.
You can say I am toxic. Y’all don’t deserve that shit in your lives. Better off without me in it. I know yous will be great. You were great before you knew me and will be even greater after you forget I was ever there.
But when roles are reversed, I’d never leave you. I’d show up every time and be there for you. I just wish the same was reciprocated. It’s ok though, I GET IT.
But in saying that, thank you for the times I did feel like I was important. For the times where my mind was at ease from everything that’s been weighing her down. For the good memories I’ll always cherish. It means the world to me that yous took some time out of your lives to include me in it. I’m sorry for everything that has caused us to drift apart. It’s all on me.
I hope life treats you all well and that you all achieve everything you have ever dreamt of. Take care of each other xo
I love yous.
I’m sorry.
