#trans mormon

[the-rockinahard-place]

I hope the people in our little tumblrstake we have on here know just how much their words have helped me. Just seeing queer mormons is such a privilege. You’ve brought me a lot of guidance in this past year and you have strengthened my testimony to great heights. It is so simple what you do on here, yet so powerful. It has changed my life, and probably my future too. If church leadership was as progressive, accepting, and informational as tumblrstake then the church wouldn’t be viewed as it is today.

I told my classmate today that I was going to mormon prom, which led her to ask me if I was mormon. When I told her I was, her jaw literally dropped. It was obvious that she couldn’t imagine someone like me ( queer af ) being in the church. She has a small perspective of who I am, and a small perspective of what the church is. Unfortunately, they were far too different things in her head, to be seen mixed together. It hurt realizing that some people see the church that way, as this bad thing. I’ve been so fortunate to have a mostly accepting ward and a special place in queerstake, that I’ve forgotten our reputation and our dark history and our not very accepting “brothers and sisters” that when I say I’m mormon to someone, they react like I just came out to them.

know that our LDS blogs in our tiny corner of tumblr proves to be more than just a small community. It is a life line keeping me holding on to that iron rod and I’m sure so many others aswell. I thank everyone for all that you’ve done here. You represent the real church of jesus christ of latter day saints.

[sunnylittlelesbisapph]

This post is for LDS Queer and Trans people:

I was pondering about trans resurrection tonight and I wondered what it would be like for us. I know many cis (transphobic) lds folks love to weaponize AND assume that verse in the scriptures where is says our "bodies will be perfected" to mean "Trans people will magically revert back to being the gender they had when they were born" but what if they're wrong? All it says is our bodies will be perfected! And, in my opinion, that could mean literally anything. I personally don't believe our loving, merciful Father would reverse the choice we made on earth with the agency He gave us.

Also, food for thought: Jesus has scars. Admittedly, not from being Trans but still; He has scars on His hands, feet and side and that is His Perfect, Exalted Body.

Thoughts?

[drag-tween]

Athletics, honor code and ... slurs:  Queer athletes tell their story of competing for BYU

Challenges for athletes who identify as LGBTQ are emerging from the shadows at Brigham Young University, where any same-sex romantic behavior is an honor code violation

@empathic-betazoid

[andillbeancuteboyifiwantto]

Masculine soul in an body that doesn’t match the description A family unit that’s got more issues than love in it The idea of loving unconditionally not burrowing into other’s life choices Odd one out in an sea of people who constantly bicker That settle for love that really isn’t then harass about what is the ‘right love’

Never the biggest church goer I got awfully sick lots Or something else would cancel the attending When I was little supposed liked it some But eventually would do anything to not go

My status with religion became complicated Now unsure what I even should do anymore All my family attends,is active members of this religion By far not the worst church however just doesn’t sit right I don’t belong in it according to an lot of people either

Sometimes you just learned the same thing,over and over All the talk I ever endured never quite fit me Gagged every time that dating came up What was,what wasn’t proper Marriage was even more an bother

Even after was told could wear a suit Felt all wrong because didn’t change much Still had to live with other people’s fixation In fact every Saturday night causes my mental state to suffer Every little mention of church,religion,every single little prayer

I’m unsure what I believe in I like to think we all have to wrong That God’s much more different than pictured People say he doesn’t make mistakes Then they’re so full of hate use him for their agendas

He made me who I am Gave me this soul It’s not the best life I’m not the best person But I like to believe there’s some purpose

That maybe I’m meant to open the eyes of my family Show them what love really means I still pray an awful lot,or just direct an conversation at him Yeah I admit yell at him,get mad

If I die Would like to believe I’d meet him Probably shout,maybe cry curled in an ball But I’d like him to answer me Tell me I’m loved That he intended it all

Want to know I had good impacts Him to explain why me Why in an strictly religious,terrible family He gave my soul this body,this family

What was with my depression Everything else that I had wrong with me It’s almost like an joke sometimes My life’s always shit I stand no odds living

To make it all that much harder He gave me this soul All this wisdom But nobody gives an damn So it might wind up wasted away just like me

[transdivergence-blog]

Support trans artists. That is a picture of me pre transition!

[the-rockinahard-place]

I told my friend recently that I was skipping my young women’s graduation.

she said it’s probably for the best since they might find it quite shocking that I’m currently in an MLM relationship.

and we both laughed, and I was happy to finally be myself around her and my other friends, yk to finally be open about the ppl I like, but man that graduation was my last day in the youth program. My last real chance to see all my church friends, all the beehives I took in, and it was my last chance to hang out in one of the few social spaces I still tolerated in the church. It symbolized how I’ll never pass the sacrement, and will have forever missed that ride of passage in a young mans life. And I purposely missed it- because they would’ve been celebrating me being a woman instead of girl. Neither things I want to be or am.

And when Ive brought up to my bf some of my contentions or general feelings about the church, he listens and tries his best to understand our culture and beliefs but even he finds it weird when I say I’m graduating young women’s, because he forgets I’m afab. Like anybody with eyes sees I don’t belong there. Yet we all just keep on pretending.

I don’t want to go to relief society, I don’t want to go to the young singles adult ward. I want to be accepted. Having a testimony and faith in this church is one thing, supporting this church is another. And I just don’t know what to do.

[the-rockinahard-place]

I knew it was gonna happen anyway, but I still had hope. I clung onto the “What if?” I thought that because the patriarch forgot that my parents told him I was a girl at the end of our pre-blessing meet up session that I wouldn't get misgendered in my blessing. but then I found out I couldn’t be alone during my blessing because his wife wasn’t going to be there. This meant I would need one of my parents in the room. Even when I told my parents I wanted to do this alone they still didn’t take my wish seriously.

So when the time came, my parents had made sure he wouldn’t forget this time. And my dad got to sit there and listen to the blessing. The blessing I have dedicated myself to for the past month and a half. I tried so hard to make sure I could feel the spirit today. I fasted, I prayed, I read my scriptures, ect. I felt good, hungry from fasting, but good. I had new dress shoes on, new dress pants and socks, and a nice button up and belt. I felt euphoric all day because of this. And there was a powerful spirit in the room. I could feel it and it was truly amazing, but each time he would misgender me it felt like getting stabbed in the chest.

The mental battle to focus on the meaning of his words instead of the face front value, to remind myself that god knows me and wouldn’t call me that, that what the patriarch is saying is just his own personal interpretation of god's words. Trying to remind myself of those things was draining. And it made me frustrated and upset that I let myself get so hopeful. I wish I waited til college where I could’ve gotten to actually be alone, yet at the same time I know there was a reason I got the blessing at this point in my life. That this pain had a purpose. The only way I can explain how I know this, is that I know God knows I’m trans and understands what it feels like to be in my shoes.

All these mixed feelings of spiritual uplift and gender dysphoria left me silent. I had some time to think. In the silence I thought about the future, about when trans people are finally accepted into the church. How when that day comes, difficulties such as getting baptized in a dress as a boy won’t be an issue. Or getting misgendered in your patriarchal blessing could be adjusted later. Or trans people could pass out the sacrament, visit temples, get sealed in temples. I looked for ways the church could expand its ideals to be more accommodating. I did this because it helped remind me that I am simply working with what I’ve been given. I am on my own with this in my personal life. I have had no representation to look toward in this. Its always been a leap of faith. So I hope my experience has helped other trans people in the church and I hope my experience has opened the eyes of cis members in the church.

[the-rockinahard-place]

Don’t get me wrong I love all my mormon gal pals, they keep me living, but I wish I had more guy friends. It would help me see they’re side and it is stereotypical for guys to be friends with other guys. Having so my girl-friends paints me even more as being different in a time of my life were I don’t want to seem different.

I am shocked that people can date in the church because men and women are almost always separated (do even get me started on other genders inclusivity). it’s hard to make friends when I am with the same group of people 24/7. Even when we have Sunday school instead of young men’s or young women’s, the room always ends up getting divided “girls on left” “boys on right” anyway because everyone is just gonna sit with their friends. Leaving me to stick out evenmore, no matter which side I choose to sit with.

Do cis people realize just how gender segregated church is?????