#post mormon

[its-onlytuesday]

“Her love now surrounds you” 2025, watercolor on canvas

A little comic I came up with while thinking about wedding plans.

I always love peoples opinions and advice on my art, I’m always looking to improve.

Also here’s an alternate first panel that I wasn’t super happy with but my fiancee likes

[cryingoverpixelmen]

Was thinking today about all the things I think make you human and are integral to humanity (will elaborate below) and I was just filling up with joy (something that’s been happening quite consistently recently).

And I was reminded of that General Conference Quote like, “the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” With the focus being, of course, Christ and the Plan of Salvation in this lesson.

But I was thinking about how the lesson still has merit. It is quite possible that the joy I’ve been feeling has everything to do with the focus of my life. But I realized I’ve felt way more joy reflecting on the wonder of humanity and what makes me feel human than I have on the sorta intangible idea that in the end bad things will go away and me and everyone I care about will be okay because Jesus.

Idk for me and my house. What I’ve chosen as the focus of my life just feels more powerful. It brings me more joy.

[lynnedwardswrites]

Finally started watching the Vox Machina animated series because I was once a Critter, but gave up about 7 episodes in because I just can't handle how simplifying the story into a TV series this way makes it obvious the kind of problematic themes and tropes the story relies on.

I could go on and on about misogyny and supremacy in general but I'll spare you, because I think most people are literate enough about those kinds of issues they can figure that stuff out themselves with a close inspection.

What I *do* want to talk about is how Vox Machina handles religion, because the Pike's-broken-amulet arc was so not-self-aware about real religious issues that it felt like Christian/fundamentalist propaganda (the kind that's often used to support homophobia, for example) and that is super weird for the Critical Role people.

(Fair warning: I only made it to episode 7, so I did not see Pike's return, only how her narrative was set up. I confirmed my suspicions by reading a summary, though, and I did see the original D&D.)

Ok so summary details in brackets, thoughts below:

Pike's magic god-speaking amulet breaks, so she goes to the temple of The Everlight to try to fix it and the already christianity-flavored religious figures are like "Don't worry child, we accept everyone as they are."

Good, great, everything is correct so far, and I mean everything. I don't know a church out there (except perhaps the most violent of homophobic ones) that won't say "we/Jesus accepts everyone as they are." The Mormons (my childhood group) say this, offering a hand of fellowship to absolutely everyone. The thing is that you can *say* you accept people "as they are" as much as you want, but that doesn't mean you actually do. Let's continue, to see what "accepting people as they are" looks like for the Everlight:

Pike says "ok, I think I'm cursed cuz I can't actually perform miracles or talk to god" and then they're like "oh no, honey, it's not a curse. It's because There's Something Wrong With You. You're Broken, that's why god doesn't talk to you."

The rest is implied, but it is confirmed by the story: "But don't worry, because we have the answers. We know what's broken about you or we have the right way for you to figure it out. Follow us and we'll teach you everything you need to know."

So I get that this is D&D and Pike has the literal ability to channel a "divine" being's power, and sure, maybe that literal being has rules about how you have to behave because he's a very controlling MFer. For D&D that's fine, that's whatever. In the real world, the existence of this divine being is under some pretty intense scrutiny right now. And yet, the conversation bracketed above is something that literally happens in the real world.

You go to church and tell your pastor "I just don't know if I believe this stuff is true, I didn't have the powerful experiences you promised I would" and the answer is "well, there must be something wrong with you, then, you must not be pure enough."

You say "I was promised good things if I followed this god's commandments, but nothing has changed in my life. In fact, things are getting worse" and the answer is "well there must be something wrong with you then, you didn't have enough faith."

You say, "I tried to pray the gay away and it didn't work. I'm having a hard time feeling like God and this community love me the way I am" and the answer is "that's just the devil talking. Of course we love you. Keep trying to pray the gay away ("keep trying to become straight," for the normies) because that's the only way you'll be able to feel the love God already has for you."

Hopefully you've picked up the pattern already, but that's the thing about religion and its assumption of being fully, divinely correct all the time. They can make any claims they want ("you'll be happier here!"), even about their own nature and morality ("we accept everyone as they are!") but if something is wrong, something doesn't line up, the answer is *always* "well there must be something wrong with YOU then, because we know we're right."

You can use religion in this way to support any oppressive system or ideology. "We love you, but you're broken and that's why life is hard for you. No, don't question the system. Don't question the gender binary. Don't question capitalism. Don't question us. It's you. You're the broken one."

That's one problem with real-world religions. They often can't keep their promises (or they just push the promises into an afterlife so you have no evidence they're false). Vox Machina plays into and legitimizes the same story. Pike couldn't get the promised reward of her religion because she hadn't molded herself to fit her church's ideals well enough, but once she did, I mean, yeah, superpowers, wow. You could have superpowers too, if you just gave 10% of your income to this megachurch and crushed your naturally fun loving, questioning, joke-making self into a demure puritan loyalist. That's how it works!

"But this is D&D! We're going to assume the promises are all true!" Alright fine. Say you are in the camp of believing the Christian god is just as real to us as the Everlight is to Pike (or if you're in the camp of allowing that some people feel that way and you want to be respectful). Say you believe or allow that maybe religion's promises are true, and asking people to suppress their nature to meet a higher ideal is Good and Reasonable. The problem with Vox Machina's portrayal, the part where all of this becomes problem-atic, is that Pike's narrative stops with "she shoehorned herself into a religious mold and then she was happy" when there are millions and millions of people with lived experiences telling us that that's not how it works.

Because even if the promise of religion happens to pan out for you (you start acting more "straight," say, hiding your gayness, and as a result get more love acceptance being treated with basic dignity from the church members around you), that doesn't mean you wind up so happy to be straight-er. Rather, you end up with deeeeep deep shame about the normal-ass human parts of yourself that religion taught you were wrong. Maybe it's not being gay, maybe it's getting angry sometimes. Maybe it's relationships with friends or family that were "getting in the way" of your spiritual journey (like it was for Pike). You cut all that stuff out to be "worthy" and you end up depressed, anxious, shame-riddled (and heading back to religion to solve a new round of issues; a vicious cycle).

But VM doesn't show that for Pike. They stop at "religious dedication will solve all your problems" and it's fuckin weird to see Critical Role of all people telling that story, and ignoring the stories of people they claim to care about who are going "Um! No actually?" It's weird that they hold up a controlling, god-like authority figure who will let children die rather than heal them because his instrument "doesn't have a friend-religion balance that favors god-worshipping highly enough" as the Good and Great Everlight. It's weird to see Critical Role taking the stance that tolerance means telling the stories that abusers pick for themselves, instead of tolerance making sure that everyone is actually being treated with dignity. It's weird how many otherwise open-minded people are just completely uneducated about the harmful effects of religion when religion is tied so closely to homophobia, racism, misogyny and supremacy of all kinds in this country. It's weird!

[catsnuggler]

Should I blatantly, publicly announce I'm exmo?

Like most folks who have officially left the church via quitmormon, the form letter I had sent to the church had the formal request that the leaders of my branch respect my privacy by not telling anyone that I had left. At the time, I was deathly afraid of my father finding out that I'd decided to officially leave, even though he was already aware that I was a pagan and officially (semi-)supportive of that. I think he wanted to play the reverse psychology angle of supporting my decision to be pagan so I'd question whether I really wanted to be, and come back to the church, because he'd sometimes get mad at me and rant about how my mother had died a mormon, asking why I couldn't still be one. I didn't want to deal with any more of that than I had to.

Unfortunately for me, my father had a calling, at that time, as a family history consultant. He discovered one night that he couldn't find my records, nor my older sister's records, in the church records. Thus, he found out, without being told, that we had left.

With the background being established, here's where I'm at now:

I don't like being bothered by Mormons asking me to come back to church, saying they miss me and whatnot

Especially when they're kind to me and address me as "Brother _______"

I know they'll do this even more if I let them all know that I officially left the church

I also know that announcing that I haven't been a member for almost 4 and a half years will cause tension between my dad and other mormons

While he isn't exactly on the best terms with other mormons, anyway, this would be incredibly embarrassing and infuriating to him

I live with my dad, so it isn't like I can handwave his feelings away

But I HATE being called "Brother _______" because I'm not! I haven't been for years! I am not a brother to racists! Antisemites! Capitalists! Proud sponsors of colonialism! Homophobes, transphobes, biphobes! I'M NOT THEIR BROTHER!

I haven't believed in this cockamamy cult for 8 and a half years. When will they get the fucking clue that I'm not one of them?

*Sigh*

So, all of this being said...

I made a new facebook account a few months ago, and sent friend requests only to mormons I used to know, who still live in the area or have close friends and family who do, with the intention of only posting that I am no longer a Mormon, haven't been for years, and requesting that they casually spread the word... but I have not made that post yet, because I know how reckless that would be.

So should I let it be known publicly? If so, how should I go about it?

P.S. I've even worn my fucking Mjolnir necklace in public and they didn't get the fucking hint. Do you know how godsdamned annoying that is? Ugh!

[flintoaster]

Sure sex is cool but have you ever found a full tithing envelope that you never turned in?

[fan-enby-anonymous]

In case any more anons want to come into my ask box saying that mormonism isn't a cult, this is the "game" the mormon missionaries are having my siblings (15 years old, 10 years old, and 4 years old by the way) play tonight. It's bad enough they're still made to proselytize in the middle of a plague, but this is truly disgusting.

[stillgrowingwildflowers]

god is coming home soon

be ready

be better

he's always watching

I've lived half my life afraid of dying

wary of not just the men in the streets

but the one in the sky they say watches over me

a vengeful god

one who watches children like me

be thrown into pits and burned

sacrificial lamb

like it's respect, not slaughter

watching his sons and his daughters cry out from the dust

this is someone I'm supposed to praise?

supposed to trust?

they say god is love--

show me his hands then

that is blood

*the god I knew

♥️ not in either of my books (but soon) ♥️

UPDATE: you can now find this in my third poetry book, made of earth

[choosetheleft]

Navigating and balancing my own religious trauma with being kind and understanding or just friendly to people who are still active Mormons is hard.

Like, I don’t think I was a bad person for growing up Mormon. That wasn’t my choice, it’s just what happened. And it took me awhile to find my way out. So I do get it, on a certain level.

But stepping away is still raw and new enough (even though it’s been years) that even just talking to an active Mormon about anything church related has me…twitchy. And depending on the topic, angry. Including my own family.

This is just where I am right now, I think it’s probably somewhat normal and I just have to move through it. But it’s so uncomfortable.