#triggering people

[xmagnet-o]

It’s so unfortunate these last couple of days plus this family meeting has put my mental health in a complete turmoil.

I can’t think straight and my mind keeps replaying what happened over and over.

My sibling really brought up the trauma in me that I’ve been trying so hard to work on stabilizing. But now that’s all undone.

I’ve never thought of myself suffering from PTSD but clearly this is what I’m going through right now.

[convenientparking]

[p-isequalto-np]

why i don't block people unless they are harassing me

i've heard lot of people talking about how avoiging certain topics & blocking toxic/triggering people can be a good thing and i kind of agree but i almost never do it. it's because i'm risking living in my own bubble and i don't like knowing that certain ideas, even if they are toxic or triggering or whatever can't get to me. i feel like i will loose the ability to adequately response to these things if i don't have a contact with them. i'm not saying you should do the same but personally it helps me to get my argumentation better and keeps me in touch with reality

(btw i'm sorry if my english is bad)

[everybodycriesonce]

Looks like this guys easy to trigger.

[1l1k3stuff-blog]

Overwatch is Not Great...

[edrecoveryprobs]

How to Deal with Triggers

1) Identify your triggers

The more you know about what triggers you, the more you can effectively deal with situations as they arise -- and construct situations which challenge you in positive ways without overwhelming you. When you notice yourself feeling triggered, try writing down your thoughts AND the situation. Is it a mealtime? Are people talking about diets? Are you in a restaurant? Are you worrying what people are thinking of you? Self-awareness is key. If you want a more structured approach, the first three pages of this can help!

2) Get an appropriate distance from the trigger

This can mean physically getting away from the trigger, or stepping out for a minute to get some air, or just finding a way to calm down enough to handle the situation. It depends on how triggered you're feeling. NOTE that this does not mean "run away from everything that makes you uncomfortable," but rather, "if your feelings are overwhelming, take the time and space you need to process them effectively before rejoining the fray." I personally make a lot of use of bathrooms, since they aren't triggering to me but ARE a way to get privacy for a few minutes so I can calm down. If bathrooms trigger you, stepping outside for a minute or pretending to need something from another room are convenient excuses. I've also had people who are so triggering I've cut them out of my life and/or just distanced myself from those relationships, which is more drastic but sometimes the most appropriate option (remember: no one is entitled to any part of you -- and you have an obligation to take care of yourself first!). I've also straight up said, "this conversation is getting to be too stressful, I need to take a break," followed by "can we talk about this later" or "I need some time to process this," or "I feel myself getting really upset, can we talk about something else for a bit?"

Most of the time, in my experience, people are pretty good about working with me, especially if I DO show initiative by bringing it back up later when I'm feeling more ready. But sometimes, I need to really establish limits with people. My rule is to try to give fair warnings, but to leave if I am getting to the point where the conversation is self-destructive. The 3 strikes rule works really well, if you can identify different stages before "totally overwhelmed": "I'm getting really upset, I may need to end the conversation soon." "I'm kind of upset, I think I might have to end this conversation for now." "I'm too upset to talk about this fairly anymore, I need to go." If they don't respect my need for time and space, then I need to respect it for them by hanging up or walking away. For more info/help: Holly Weeks' Taking the Stress Out of Stressful Conversations, About.com's Become Adept at Dealing With Difficult People and Avoiding [Unnecessary] Conflict

3) Use affirmations

I have some of my favorite affirmations that I keep in mind, so I can use them as mantras when I'm too stressed to think positively. Saying words (especially physically vocalizing them, even if it's under your breath) really helps because you're physically reinforcing positive thoughts. "I am a work in progress," "This stress is temporary" "I've gotten through worse -- I can get through this." etc. We have some example affirmations here and a guide for making your own here.

4) Find and use effective coping skills

Coping skills are super helpful for releasing the nervous energy that comes with anxiety, and also they reinforce positive/happy/healthy actions and thoughts rather than negative/unhealthy ones. PLUS, it puts some time between the triggering situation and you, which often makes most of the difference. Experiment with different ones, keep track of which ones work and use those whenever you're stressed out.

5) Remember that you don't have to be perfect!

In my experience, recovery is more about improving the healthy:unhealthy ratio for my behaviors rather than merely quitting disordered behaviors. I like to think of it as a personal challenge to use healthy behaviors as much as possible rather than feeling guilty when I lapse. Triggering situations come and go; but with the right combination of tools and skills, I can learn to effectively handle any situation that I face.

[aleakyfaucet]

When people constantly say triggering things.