#tw transfobia

[deadeyedfae]

Trigger Warning: Transphobia & Misogyny

Fembiosis Issue 2: Bar Fight

[that-grassbro]

You really shouldnt care this much about men get access to WOMEN's stuff lil bro

TW depressing shit ahead.

When I was 14 or 15, I met my first ever non-blood brother. He was younger than me, and small for his age. Smaller than even me. He'd never really had enough food. i don't know if he would have been bigger had he eaten well, but I think he would have been shorter than me anyway.

I'd just left behind a huge family, and basically landed myself in a trafficking ring. I was relying on nothing but sheer willpower and luck to not die. I was in no way ready to take on this other child, but he was smaller than me, and I'd had little siblings before, so I couldn't help myself. We would share our little food, I taught him to siphon as well as steal if it meant he got fed right. Where fruit was easiest to snatch and what places were close enough to our errands to not draw suspicion.

Finally around the same time, both of us had gotten enough nutrition to get back some semblance of a period cycle. For him, it was his first. I got him pads, coached him through it, and myself too, for it had been a year and the materials were different to the cloth I was used too.

I told him my dreams of getting out one day, and he told me I could do it. He was younger than me but braver, with a conviction that i couldn't match. But when next to him in the covers, I began to believe. I would go to the west. To a university where they all spoke english- for that was my only knowledge of their languages. I would study and I would stay there and he would come with me.

I practiced english with him. I picked it up fast and i could see the pleased gleam in his eye when he stopped understanding what I was saying.

We saved up together, hiding the money in a plastic pack of pads, where the others wouldn't think to look. Soon we would have enough to bribe our way into a private room, and a private outside job. We got closer.

He told me he had lived close by, in the days when he was a girl. I told him that made sense. I'd run across the country in a panic to escape my family, but realistically no one would actually be looking for us. There had been no reason to run as far as I did. He laughed at me, and told me he was just a village or town north.

I'd love to tell you that he lives in the room next to me, now that I have my own room. But he was 14 when he died.

We'd been going out more often, on the brink of that relative freedom of a private room and a private job. We had been exploring the place where we would one day be able to roam freely. He should have run further. A town was not enough, and one day his older 'brother' caught him. He did not deserve that title, I was more his brother than that monster ever was. I wasn't around, but I did find my brother's body. Broken and naked, with the marks of a killing on his chest.

Honor killings aren't absurd, or even unheard of in my country. Especially not in these areas. But usually they are condemned. Often some piece of shit newspaper in our oh so progressive capital gets a new story, a new lobby to remind the government that marginalised people exist and deserve existence. Or if its the other side of the newspaper, maybe some drivel about how life under the russians was better and this is all the fault of muslims.

It wasn't care, but it was something. My brother got none of it. We have some 'WOMEN's stuff lil bro' as you said. For survivors of honor killings, or their family. In fact, Tajikistan is in many ways a progressive country. We have a whole system in place. They give you support if you survive, or a good burial if you don't. These women's charities, partnerships between the UN and the government. They give you a burial.

They did not give my brother one.

The money we had saved for first 2 months rent went to a bribe for his place in the earth and a stone marker. That was all I could give the 14 year old boy with a wide grin and a stupid haircut he let me test out on him.

He deserved the world but I could not give it to him. So now I argue online for what he should have had. For the empathy and logic that should have been extended to him. Trans men deserve a place in women's charities, in feminism. I know it might trigger some people's dysphoria but please. Think of the boys like my brother. The patriarchy is stabbing us just the same, can't you please just let us under the shield? Please.

[stayontrack-comic]

Stay on Track: Page 40

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One of my favorite pages so far.

[ravengirl-luca]

Seriously don't get transphobia? Like wdym you're gonna hate on me for being cute, wearing a dress, and using terms I like

Like how can you be transphobic to this

[lachrymalhaze]

another stance of mine I'll make loud and clear here on my blog since I interact with a lot of trans content and tumblr occasionally puts stupid shit up on my algorithm:

"TMA/TME" terms are bigoted, useless, intersexist, straight up racist, and I can't believe they're still being unironically thrown around the damn net.

(this post's experiences are also centered in the usa)

Okay. Now that we've got that out of the way: I keep seeing blogs apply "TME" (transmisogyny exempt) to transmasculine people, sapphics in general, butches in general, and cis women.

Oh brother.

Some of you fuckers have incredibly narrow world views, tunnel-vision life experiences, no diversity in your family or friendship groups, no diversity in your social media followings, and boy does it SHOW. It shows. It shooooows. It's a quick block from me and a fast assumption you're white as hell and have a white as hell circle if you throw that shit around willy nilly. Decolonization also means deconstructing such binaries like this: that a "trans's woman's issue" is "only hers" and could only ever affect her. It's not that simple.

A couple of important points.

-) Transmisogyny often affects transmasculine people (trans men included!) because of the hypervisibility of transfeminine people. Medically is where it shows at its worst in my experience. If you spend any time at all listening to trans men talk about trying to get medical care, deal with insurance, get medications, deal with legality around name changes et cetera, you'll find that a LOT of instances revolve around people writ large assuming we are transitioning the other way around (masc to fem, rather than fem to masc), even if they see an F birth marker and see/hear you are taking T.

I'm not going to explain to you in depth at the moment how this means medical discrimination or medical care denial and other headaches for transmasculine people whether by well intentioned individuals or not. look it up. the tldr is we are still treated and seen as women in hospitals, and simultaneously, we are seen and acknowledged as trans and there is hostility in that. People are very uncomfortable with it. Baddies in red states especially I'm sure know what I'm talking about.

-) Many of us start out looking androgynous, do not pass, or stay looking androgynous, or simply cannot pass even if that's the desire or goal.

Not to mention feminine dressing trans men, and black and brown trans men. People on the street don't see a visibly trans person and instantly assume they're a man (or a man worthy of respect) and afford them respect, either. Facial hair and muscles or no. That's made up in your fucking heads. We get stopped on the street by cis men and harassed about if we are "real females." We are at risk of being hate crimed. Pay attention.

-) GNC people, black cis women, cis women of color, indigenous cis women, cis women with PCOS, cis women who for any reason appear unconventional, effeminate gay men, drag queens who are men, boys who grow up in homophobic and transphobic environments expressing feminine presentations, butch women, butch lesbians of all kinds, masculine presenting women, ET CETERA.

...are all at risk of transvestigation and violence thereof. Of being accused of either: "not being a real woman", "trying too hard to be a woman", "being a fake man", "being a sissy", et cetera. And there's a word for that. It's called transmisogyny. Homophobia, lesbophobia, racism, and transmisogyny are inherently intertwined. They aren't inseparably unique units.

And more of you would do well to remember this when you post walls of text that honestly doesn't mean anything at all, aren't grounded in any real lived experiences, real community or real identity, outside of "hurt feelings, I want to be valid and I want to be the most oppressed." Yes, not every person experiences transmisogyny by default, but MANY, many people who are not inherently trans women (or not exclusively) are at risk of experiencing transmisogyny and other forms of violence and abuse, femicide and hate crimes linked to how much of a "real man or woman" they are perceived as.

And anyone could experience (systemic) transmisogyny at any time if they were in the wrong place at the wrong time doing the wrong thing accosted by the wrong, vapid, malicious fucking cunt, someone who wanted to weaponize laws against them for their own gain, hurt them badly or otherwise, even if they were the whitest most feminine perisex cis woman you ever saw. Texas's newest bathroom is a prime example of this kind of fuckery.

Pay. Attention.

Stop arguing over "who is exempt" and "how exempt" and start asking "how many people are affected" and "who is the most at risk" (the answer is MOST OFTEN black trans women and men and intersex people. The answer is an incredibly long list of marginalized identities. The answer is a growing list. The answer is intersectional.) "how do we empower them" "how do we protect them" "how do we empower them to protect themselves long term" "how can I use my specific privileges wherein I dont have (as much of an issue or issue) to keep my friends safe/r" et cetera.

This post is NOT for hatred for trans women/fems either and if anyone reblogs it who's hateful towards trans women you can get impaled on eleven thousand spikes. This post is intended to raise awareness around transmisogyny as a widespread issue and that "exempt" is a chronically online concept.

We keep losing people in our community. Fucking pay attention. Protect trans life.

[66kenobi66]

In retrospect of her new video which was basically just 4 hours of nonsensical yapping about how the HH/HB critical community are a bunch of misogynistic pigs (despite most of the community's biggest issue with the series being it's mistreatment of it's female characters): even when I was watching Sai's videos about people like Lily "Orchard" it never really seemed like she cared about making actual criticism or giving a voice to Lily's victims. Her only real points always amounted to- "You're cringe! And gross!" with no real reflection or nuance. She's also one of those people who thinks they're "too cool" to be offended by silly things like the R-slur.

Oh she also is this person:

Saying this while being a SU fan is so irony lmao

WHAT.

So much for that moral high ground.

(TLDR: Sai Scribbles is cringe AF ((and racist?))

[cloudsblah]

Why r y'all surprised Lestat mis-gendered that vampire? He was high af and he's also low-key racist anyway.

[justsomenobody40]

So… batjokes community,

apparently in ‘Arkham Asylum: a serious house on serious earth’ Joker was intended to wear lingerie and woman’s makeup before DC changed it fearing that readers would confuse Jack Nicholson’s portrayal (that was released around the same time) as transgender

how do y’all feel about it?

I wish they kept it the same because the reason sucks

I wish they kept it the same but the reason makes sense

I’m indifferent to it but the reason’s stupid

I’ indifferent to it but the reason makes sense

I’m glad they changed it because the reason makes sense

I’m glad they changed it but the reason sucks

Voting ended onApr 25