#us coronavirus

[alien-affect]

You know, it’s really fucking sad that late night hosts, comedians, have provided more useful, accurate information about the Corona virus and its effects than this nations god damn clown of a president.

On that note, if you haven’t seen Last Week Tonight’s video series about the Corona virus, go watch them.

[ladyartemesia]

Me: *leaning deep into the supermarket freezer to grab the last bacon-egg-and-cheese hot pocket*

Husband: 🧐 Are...are you not wearing underwear?!

Me: 😁 Babe I ain’t worn underwear since day 3 of quarantine. I’m savin the laundry and the planet and whatnot.

Husband: 🤭 But-

Me: 😏 Besides- *wiggles butt* -easy access.

Husband: 😳 *scandalized* In the frozen aisle?!

[datarep]

US Coronavirus Deaths by State Normalized for Time and Population

[ilovemusicmore]

Fuck Alicia Keys

And Fuck putting out a song that says "good job" over and over and calling "essential workers" heros but not giving them Hazard Pay. Fuck this bullshit and Fuck Alicia Keys again because fuck you.

Next they'll be throwing us all a National Pizza Party

[certainlynotinthecloset]

Hozier is going live on ig soon....

Yeeee

[ladyartemesia]

Ok. So two of my coworkers are at each other’s house.

I am 112% sure they are bumpin uglies.

Both of them are shwasted beyond reason and have drunk dialed me to explain that semi-sweet chocolate is the “dark meat” of candy and that one of them wears special glasses to watch p*rn so (and I quote) “my rods and cones don’t get too stimulated before bed.”

Annnd now they’re FaceTiming me to show me that they’re sticking their fingers in each other’s ears.

One of them has their arm through the neck hole of their shirt.

😳

[ladyartemesia]

if the government passes this unlimited-access-to-your-cellphone-data legislation while we’re holed up tryin to preserve the human race, all they’re gonna find out about me is that I like kpop and I sext my husband using the wrong emojis.

keeps him guessing

[ladyartemesia]

I’m about to grocery shop with a whole forest on ma legs because no one knows who I am in this mask 😷😈 It could be ANY other hairy-limbed hobo buying out the Hot Pockets...

When momma said “look for the silver lining” - I’m pretty sure this is what she meant.

(IS THIS HOW BATMAN FEELS?!)