Dec 2, 2024
nobody warns you about the cold takes your brain will come up with when you're even slightly self conscious about your art/writing. it's like "hey this stranger has a story that has [element 1] and [element 2] in it, which basically just makes it the story you came up with, but better. and everyone is going to ignore your story and only engage with this other one because it's better. and yours sucks by comparison. so you shouldn't even try. btw have you considered never creating ever again?" like okay maybe I'll just never interact with people or the fandom or anyone else again ever because that's a sane and rational way to cope with this. ok.
#muzz mumbles#UUGHGHH#i know it's a delusional mindset i know it is a fear founded in nothing at all and rooted in my own self esteem issues#but goddamnnnnn does it make creating difficult#because now my brain is like. well what's the point of writing your story in the first place#and i'm like BECAUSE IT'S MINE. BECAUSE IT'S SPECIAL TO ME#BECAUSE I WANT TO READ IT#AND I WAS PROUD OF IT ONCE. I WAS PROUD OF IT BEFORE.#and my brain goes ''Did someone say something? no? must have been the wind. anyway back to wanting to kill ourselves''#punching holes in the walls and eating through the drywall LET ME OUT OF HEREEEEEEE#vent#delete later
