mobei "hang out with me and i'll keep you alive" jun, using the now mandatory hanging out time to figure out how humans work, except shang qinghua is like, the worst human to observe bc he's not like the rest of the characters since he quite literally made the world, and so sometimes, he says things that either aren't from that world OR lets it slip that he knows things he shouldn't
so now mobei jun uses earth slangs and also assumes humans just know a lot of stuffs they shouldn't
(this is made worse by shen qingqiu who is The Same(tm) bc he was such a hardcore fan hater that he knew the entire fucking thing by heart)
mobei jun using "wtf" once and shen qingqiu just pauses and looks at him like he just saw a ghost and screams "you too?!?!", which just confuses the hell out of mobei jun - shang qinghua has to do damage control after that. mobei jun assuming every humans know something bc shang qinghua (and shen qingqiu even maybe) knows it, and every other human discovering hidden secrets.
im mildly obsessed w both bingqiu and moshang rn and just the amount of ideas you can have w shen qingqiu having to deal w post not-break-up (bc they werent fucking dating yet) shang qinghua who is just soooo upset and doesnt know why and totally is gonna go back to their world but he just wants to apologize properly to mobei jun and no he definitely isnt heartbroken, vs luo binghe having to deal with broody mobei jun who just rants abt how the human definitely had been flirting right but then he wanted to leave so whatever, it’s not like he actually cares right, he sent him on his merry way, this isnt relevant, whatever
i just think that’d be the fucking most hilarious thing ever
shen qingqiu abt to fucking loose it bc shang qinghua is so oblivious (no matter how oblivious he himself was lol) and luo binghe just so very much not sure what to do to help, bc his first advice was “follow him and be sticky af to make sure he doesnt get away” which apparently is out of the question for mobei jun
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
A/N: This is, in fact, not the first wip I've started for this fandom, but it's the first one I finished, so. Kiribaku my beloveds <3 Thank you @jackwillwrite for the beta reading!!!
Summary
The silence on the other end of the line, the lack of anyone actually listening hurt more than Katsuki was willing to admit. He huffed in frustration – this was stupid. He wasn’t sure why he thought it’d be different this time around, but, well, he couldn’t turn back now, could he? He hated leaving things unfinished.
“I’m pretty sure I fell in love. That’s why I called.”
--
Katsuki decides to give them one last chance. Or to give himself closure. He isn't sure.
TWs: Dissociation & Panic attacks, Past trauma, Bad coping mechanisms mention, Bakugou Katsuki's parents are pretty awful in this
Relationships: established Romantic Kiribaku (Kirishima Eijirou/Bakugou Katsuki)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
A/N: So! Here is my gift for @ramonapest for the @heartstoppersecretsanta - I hope you like it! :)
Summary:
The first thing she did after moving in was go out. She’d been staying over at a friend’s before that, and hadn’t had the opportunity to just go out and have fun on her own terms – either because of work or because, well, she didn’t want to impose by going out and coming back at whatever time in an apartment that wasn’t hers. But now, living alone, with her own job that frankly didn’t pay all that great but paid enough for her to be able to afford a night out if she was careful about her spendings, she wanted to go out and have a night of fun.
Her flat was fairly well situated, all things considered, and not far from one of the queer areas of the city. That had been a criteria of hers, when she’d been looking, and she was very happy about finding it easily enough. She’d noticed a few lgbtq+ bars around as well, and she liked that. One of them in particular, the “B4Bar”, a retro-looking queer bar with flags of plenty across the furniture, had seemed to… call for her.
--
Darcy was switched out of Higgs when she was younger and didn't meet Tara. She finally was out of her parents' control, finally in her own space, and, well... She just wanted to live her life now. But hey, you need friends, in life.
Pride and Friendships - Pride Modern AU [The Witcher]
A/N: So, I’ve been thinking about quite a few things, fic ideas and AUs, and that’s all good and all, but I ended up going way too much into details for them, and now I wanna write a lot for them. And I don’t have the focus for it. SO! Instead, I’m making the most self indulgent AU I can think of <3
Queer them, all of them. Because I said so.
Summary:
Jaskier helps out a young teen at Pride, ends up with unexpected company. Old friends and an old flame, that’s gonna spark something for sure (/j)
TWs: attempted kidnapping (failed), references to complicated partings in the past
Ship: past one-sided Geraskier [Jaskier, romantic], Yenralt [romantic (not really, but Jaskier doesn’t know that)]
WC: 7713
Jaskier was having a day, for sure. He’d gotten held back in the public transport because of a traffic jam, and that meant the parade had already started by the time he got there. He usually liked to be up at the front of the march, so as not to be stuck in the middle of the crowd, but with the time going against him, he held no hope to reach the front. Ah, well – he’d stay in the back, that wasn’t that much of an issue. He was excited nonetheless! He loved Pride. It was great, he had some amazing memories at his previous Pride Parades, and it always warmed his heart to see how many people like him there were, just present there. He was bouncy, and excited, way too energised, and all over the place.
To be quite fair, Jaskier was always very much all over the place - always paying attention to everything, making it hard to focus on anything. Most of the time, it was an issue. This time though? Definitely not. It’s what made him notice the very uncomfortable looking teen on the side of the parade, crowded by a couple of big looking fellows. They didn’t look like they were there for the march though, honestly - the teen on the other hand… Jaskier frowned and moved closer. If he had gotten the signals wrong, the teen could always tell him to fuck right off, and he’d leave with only a bit of a bruised ego, but reassured that he hadn’t left this kid in trouble. As he got closer, his feeling that something was wrong just grew, with the way the adults seemed all pressure-y and the teen was trying to back off. So he simply… inserted himself, like he had always been so good at doing.
“Darling, there you are!”, he exclaimed, sliding in between the teen and the adults. He was facing the teen, and he tilted his head, giving them a questioning look before glancing at the people behind him, trying to convey that he was trying to help. They seem to get the message because they nodded, barely there but still. Jaskier grinned. “I’ve been looking all over for you!”
“Who the fuck are you?” huffed the guy behind him.
Jaskier turned around to face him and the teen used this opportunity to wrap themself around his arm. “My big brother! I was waiting for him–” they exclaimed, half hiding behind him now “–when you arrived.”
Ah, so not family. That was already good news because it meant none of them could refute that claim.
“Yes! Sorry for being late, dear,” Jaskied hummed, patting their hand gently, “I had to find a spot for the car. Thank you for keeping my dear sister company while I was held back. We need to meet with some friends of mine now though, so we’ll get going, we don’t wanna be late, right darling?” – and he hoped he wasn’t misgendering the kid, because he’d hazarded a guess based on looks, which he knew wasn’t great, but he couldn’t exactly ask for pronouns right now.
“Hey– how can we be sure you’re not just some random guy kidnapping the kid now, hm?” one of the guys asked.
Boy did Jaskier want to punch him. But the guy in question was bigger and taller, and also looking relatively threatening - Jaskier couldn’t risk the teen getting in the middle of a fight with nobody else to help. Luckily for both him and the kid, the interaction had gotten the attention of one of the drag queen groups that Jaskier had exchanged with for a bit earlier, and while they all wore some of the highest boots Jaskier had ever seen, they did have the advantage of number. Also probably of height, Jaskier had to admit anyone willing to walk from that high was terrifying to him. Anyway. They got closer and were clearly staring, waiting to see if everything was chill. Which honestly? Jaskier had to admit that this was one of the reasons he loved Pride so much. Solidarity.
“Thanks, but if I was a random guy, surely she wouldn’t have said I was her brother, right? There was no reason for her to lie here.”
The guy who had spoken previously frowned, but backed off. Obviously no answers to that would look good on them, and now, they had an audience. Jaskier grinned.
“Thank you, really, for keeping an eye on her. We’ll get going now! Have a lovely Pride Parade.”
Jaskier did not wait for the group to answer before he turned them around, and led them both away and into the crowd. He did give a nod to the group who’d stopped next to them and mouthed “thank you” silently. They smiled and nodded back. Good. They walked for a bit, enough for them both to be out of range for the creepy group, before Jaskier looked around. It seemed safe enough to speak, he thought, so he grinned at the teen.
“So! No issues if you’d rather not answer, but do you have people – friends, family – that you need to meet with? Would rather not leave you all on your own after that, though I… suppose I am in fact a stranger and I know about stranger danger, so obviously that’s also a fair answer–” Jaskier bit his tongue to stop himself from babbling too much. “–but I still would prefer to make sure you’re not gonna be all on your own in the middle of the parade after this.”
The teen hesitated, and he had to admit that at least reassured him a bit. They looked maybe 10 or 12 years old, which was probably too young to be left to their own device, he thought, but maybe they simply looked younger than they were, or were used to handling themself – however, them trying to weigh the pros and cons of talking to a rando, that was positive in his mind. They seem to come to a decision because they made a face.
“I’m here with my parents and uncles, but we got separated in the crowd.”
“Oh! Good. Do you have a phone maybe? To call them?”
“My phone died just before the creeps showed up, while I was on call with my mum.”
“Well, that’s… unlucky. My phone’s also dead,” he mumbled before grinning as it hit him. “But! I have my portable battery with me! Here, lemme–”
He moved them to the side a bit so they wouldn’t be separated, before looking through his bag and pulling out the battery, handing it to the teen. They looked at the battery covered in stickers (most of them pride flags) before snickering and thanking him, then plugging their phone on the thing. Jaskier grinned before looking around again. They’d need a place to meet the kid’s family, a place where they could be spotted… There. The Parade was moving alongside the big park, and one of the entrances was nearby - it offered a relatively small plaza, on which they could stand without being in the middle of the crowd. He glanced at the teen, who was looking around, most likely for their parents, while waiting for their phone to be charged enough to turn on again.
“How about we walk up the street again? The park’s entrance is a bigger landmark to give to your parents when you can text them again, and we won’t be pushed around too much. I promise I’m not gonna kidnap you by moving you to a secondary location,” he added the second part with a giggle.
“Well, that’s awfully suspicious of you, Mister Kidnapper,” they joked and giggled before pausing, analysing him for a second, most definitely taking in the trans flag draped over his shoulders, the genderfluid pin’s and the bi flag draw on his cheeks. “Wait, sorry, what are your pronouns, I didn’t ask and assumed, that’s not– sorry–”
“Ah, it’s all good! Currently he/him works quite well, so no misgendering done here. What about you? I’m sorry if I misgendered you earlier, too, I just took a gamble.” He smiled at the teen, hoping this’d lessen the anxiety that seemed to be rising.
“Oh– hum. Glad I didn’t– yeah. She/her, I think?,” the kid answered hesitantly, “I’m not sure, kind of just–”
“Figuring things out?”
“Yeah.”
“I get it.” Jaskier could quite frankly feel his smile softening as he spoke, placing a hand on her upper back softly. “It took a bit for me to figure things out too. You got all your time, dear, no worries.”
That seemed to help, and he felt the way her shoulders relaxed. Good, he didn’t want her to panic in the middle of the crowd, he wasn’t sure how to help with that many people around. She looked at the park’s entrance then, and nodded. He smiled and held out a hand that she took with a grin of her own and they headed for the big archway. Once they got there, they stood a bit on the side, looking around, before Jaskier realised that while they did trade pronouns, they forgot about names. Maybe that would be a good thing to trade.
“I’m Jaskier by the way!” he blurted out. Not the most normal introduction, but in his defence, today wasn’t exactly normal.
She didn’t seem to mind, as she giggled before smiling at him. “My name is Cirilla.”
“Nice to meet you Cirilla!”
“Nice to meet you too, Jaskier.”
It took a few more minutes of waiting before Cirilla’s phone was charged enough to turn on. While they’d waited, they’d chatted a bit, and Jaskier learned that this was the teen’s first Pride Parade, as she wasn’t too big on crowds and usually stayed with her dad, who didn’t like them much either, but that she’d really wanted to come. He said that hopefully this wouldn’t taint her opinion of it, in a joking tone, but internally, it was entirely sincere – Pride was meant to be something good, a way to see you weren’t fighting alone, and he’d hate to know her first experience made her uncomfortable. She shook her head and fist bumped his arm with a grin. “I met a pretty cool guy with this adventure!”
Jaskier grinned and ruffled her hair, which earned him an offended gasp. Okay, he adored this teen. “Well I met a pretty cool miss.”
When her phone was back on, she had about two dozen messages from her parents, and at least as many missed calls. She sent a short message about her phone dying on her and whatnot before following it with an indication of where she was. The reply was a short ‘we’re on our way’ from her mother, and Cirilla seemed reassured at that. Good. Jaskier hoped the parents wouldn’t freak out upon finding their kid with a random guy though. It should be fine, Cirilla having mentioned someone had let her borrow their battery, but Jaskier didn’t want to make anyone worry.
Cirilla and him chatted as they waited, and when she stopped mid-sentence and lit up, he knew her family must’ve showed up, which was confirmed by the teen waving and calling out “Mum!”
When he looked up, though, the sight was definitely a shock. Jaskier froze as his eyes met the woman approaching them. Black, long curly hair, purple eyes, make up so sharp it could kill a man, and stunning dress… Yennefer was stunning, and in all honesty, Jaskier had to admit she hadn’t changed one bit despite the near decade passed since they last saw each other. Her gaze was on her daughter as she approached, smiling at Cirilla as the teen came close and they hugged, and Cirilla said something that Jaskier didn’t catch, too focused on trying to unfreeze from the sight of who he had once called his biggest enemy in the entire universe. It probably was something to do with him, seeing as Yennefer looked up from Cirilla to Jaskier and her eyes widened slightly. She stumbled in her step a little, and had he not been unable to move, Jaskier would’ve laughed. As it was, he was trying to remember to breathe, so the laughing would have to wait.
“Yennefer.” He didn’t mean for it to come out like he was out of breath, but oh well. Not much he could do about that now.
“Jaskier…” She breathed out his name, and that did help his ego a bit, because she sounded like him, which made Jaskier feel less alone.
“You two know each other?”
Cirilla’s voice dragged both of them out of their stupor and Yennefer shook her head a little, likely to clear her brain. Jaskier blinked really fast and looked away before clearing his throat slightly and grinning as he usually would. It was the best he could do. Yennefer looked at Cirilla then back to him before nodding and smiling a little. Hesitant. Well, at least she knew better than to assume Jaskier was inoffensive. Maybe she had learned a thing or two from the past, who knew? He let out a small chuckle, and she followed soon, quiet.
“Well, this– this is a surprise for sure!” he blurted out.
She lowered her head before raising it again with an amused grin. “Gotta admit I wasn’t expecting to meet you today, poet.”
“Ah, but see, that’s where your mistake lies – it is Pride, after all. My month, my day! Of course I’m here.”
He was about to go on a long monologue, but she cut him short by coming closer and hugging him. Oh. That might’ve been a bigger surprise than the sight of her. Last time they saw each other, they were at each other’s throat, so this– He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. Of course he did. She relaxed a little and Jaskier couldn’t help but let his smile soften. More sincere. She let out a breath and a giggle, squeezing him a little before they parted, standing face to face.
Jaskier was a whirlwind of emotions, and he wasn’t sure how to get started on sorting them out. His next therapist appointment was gonna be wild for sure. That or his next song was gonna be a hit.
“Where are Dad and my Uncles?” Cirilla asked, looking between them uncertain.
It hit Jaskier that neither of them had explained shit to her, and she probably was utterly lost. It didn’t occur to him to think about who could possibly be Dad and the Uncles. Probably should’ve. Yennefer turned back to face the teen, and Jaskier couldn’t help but note that under all angles, she still looked stunning. And also that Cirilla looked nothing like her.
“They’re arriving, they were right behind me, but you know how the crowd is–” Yennefer answered before stopping.
She looked at Jaskier suddenly. She seemed paler, tenser suddenly. He wondered why for a second, almost asked. Then Cirilla gasped and ran straight towards three men who were approaching. Jaskier didn’t need to ask anymore.
If seeing Yennefer had been like an electric shock, seeing Geralt leaning down to catch Cirilla and hugging her close was like a cold shower. And fuck, while Yennefer looked like she’d barely aged, Geralt hadn’t changed at all. Might’ve been because he’d turned silver so long ago. Either way, Jaskier was frozen again, and this time, it felt like the whole world had stopped moving with him. Behind Geralt stood his brothers, Eskel and Lambert, and they were staring at him with wide eyes, before glancing at each other, then looking back at him. Lambert gave him a little wave, Eskel gave him a nod. Geralt looked up, presumably because Cirilla had said something to him. And Jaskier felt like he was falling as Geralt’s gaze was on him.
“Jaskier…–” Yennefer’s whisper was barely audible, but she was standing close enough that Jaskier’s brain registered it. It snapped him back into the world.
He smiled, though he was pretty sure he must’ve looked like the polite cat, and gave a wave to the three men in front of him. He looked at Yennefer and her face held the biggest apology in the world – which honestly wasn’t something Jaskier had seen on her since… ever, actually. Well then. He really hoped this was due to her knowing him and not because his entire heart was showing on his face.
His whirlwind of emotions was now a hurricane, and he took a deep breath so he could move again.
Cirilla had grabbed Geralt’s hand and was leading him, Eskel and Lambert towards Yennefer and himself, and Jaskier wondered for a second if he’d angered the gods in any way, shape or form, before realising that he wouldn’t know what he could’ve done that wouldn’t have angered them at one point or another. Oh well.
“Jaskier.” And oh, gods above, he lost his voice for a second. Geralt’s voice was still the same, and Jaskier had an excellent auditive memory – he’d never forgotten how it sounded, how he said his name, but damn, memories never compared and whatnot.
“Geralt! And Eskel and Lambert. Hello, hi! It has been a while, hasn’t it?” God this sounded stupid. The hum he got from Geralt as an answer sounded familiar enough, at least.
Lambert snorted and Eskel nudged him with his shoulder. Geralt looked like he wanted to run away. At least Jaskier thought he looked like that – but really, it had been almost a decade, maybe he was rusty in reading the faces Geralt made. He hoped he was rusty, because he wasn’t sure how to feel about being able to make Geralt ‘I’m scared of nothing’ Berthulf want to run away. That seemed like it was putting too much power in his hand.
“Are you here alone, Jaskier?” Yennefer’s question cut the tension that was bubbling in the air immediately, and Jaskier focused his entire attention on her immediately. That woman knew how to read the room too well, but in this precise moment, he loved her for it.
“I am indeed, darling!”
“Couldn’t find a date fast enough, or too many people throwing themselves at you?” she joked. He snorted.
“More like ‘Pride is a big event for me and it’d be a huge step to actually come here with someone in that way’, in all honesty. And my friends are, sadly, not available.” Or here with dates. Or in another city. He knew Priscilla was likely at the parade of the city she was touring in. He kinda lost track of where it was though.
“Well then–” Yennefer grinned, “–would you like to join us maybe? It’s been a while, and we’re headed the same way anyway, I believe.”
“It would be my pleasure, dear.”
She smiled and he looped their arms together. He decided to ignore the way Geralt’s jaw had tensed – if Yennefer was being nice to him, Jaskier wasn’t about to spit on it.
There was a slight shuffle as Cirilla first refused to hold anyone’s hand – before Jaskier pointed out that if he was coming with, he couldn’t save her again. Both Yennefer and Geralt frowned at that, but it did the job, and the teen stood between Eskel and Lambert, walking in front of Yennefer and Jaskier, Geralt behind them. Jaskier could tell the man was trying to keep an eye on everyone. That was… a bit unnerving, but oh well. At least it wasn’t surprising.
“How have you been doing?” he asked Yennefer after they’d started walking in the parade again, because he couldn’t deal with the silence between them all. Small talk, maybe, but at least, his thoughts wouldn’t go as wild as they would in the quiet.
“Good, actually. Really good. I’m set to film a new movie in a couple weeks, and I’m really excited for it.”
“Oh that’s lovely to hear! May I ask what, or is that secret for now?”
“Secret, sadly,” she chuckled.
“She won’t even tell us!” Lambert interjected, which made Jaskier snort.
“What about you, Jaskier? How are you doing?”
“I’m doing good,” he hummed, smiling as it sank in how true this was, all things considered. “Finally catching a break after a few hectic months, and, well–” He nodded towards Cirilla, who was walking in front of him, “–I met a pretty cool miss today.”
The smile on Yennefer’s face when she looked at Cirilla was unmistakably loving, adoring, and so fond that Jaskier felt warm inside just from witnessing it. God, it was weird to feel that way when it came to Yennefer.
“So! A child, huh? That’s news. That’s big news.” He grinned as he spoke. “What happened these past years?”
“Oh. Well–” Yennefer chuckled softly, leaning her head on his shoulder a little. “A lot happened, honestly. Don’t think I can summarise nearly an entire decade of life within such a small timespan honestly, and even less in a story satisfying enough for you.”
He laughed at that, because yeah, that definitely sounded like a story he’d want details on. She smiled and Cirilla turned her head towards them to speak. “How do you know my parents?”
Jaskier blinked at her, and honestly, if it wasn’t for Yennefer at his arm, he probably would’ve stumbled in his step. That was a question he wasn’t sure how to answer, so he considered it for a minute. None of the phrasings that came to mind immediately seemed good enough of a summary either, so he opted to simplify everything.
“I was a friend of theirs when we were all in uni,” he hummed. Neither Geralt nor Yennefer corrected him either, so he figured it worked well enough.
“I never heard about you,” she hummed, looking a bit confused.
“Ah, well–” Jaskier said, fast, cutting off the remark Geralt was about to make, “–sometimes, friends part ways and you don’t notice it enough to bring it up afterwards. Not everyone you befriend will stay high in your priority list when you recount what you lived through. It’s okay, though, doesn’t mean it was bad, simply that the departure happened at the right time for you.”
Cirilla hummed in response and nodded, seeming to agree with Jaskier’s point. He wasn’t sure if she really did, but honestly, he knew better than to assume she didn’t – being a teen didn’t protect you from the world.
“Sometimes, people leave too big of an impression and you don’t know how to talk about them.”
Geralt’s addition was a whisper, and Jaskier would’ve missed it was the other man not standing so close behind them. And, well… he didn’t really want to know what Geralt meant by that. It twisted his heart and stomach in a way he hated. He knew their parting hadn’t been the greatest, but he had really hoped Geralt would’ve gotten over it by now – apparently not. That stung. He kept his smile in place, deciding not to bother with an answer. His hurt would stay where it was, buried deep enough that he needn’t think about it. Yennefer glanced between the two men silently, and Jaskier simply widened his smile at her. The way she smiled back indicated she got the message, and she hummed, looking back ahead.
“What about you, poet? What’s new in your life, after all this time?” she asked, her voice laced with a teasing tone he knew quite well. She was trying to distract him. It worked.
“Ah well! A lot of things actually!” he exclaimed. “First, my band and I signed a contract that was absolutely outrageous. Then, when I got bored of being bossed around with too little reward, I split from them.”
“Oh! Wow,” she commented. “How are they doing then?”
“They crashed and burned,” he hummed, pretending he was trading a big secret.
In reality, most of the band had agreed with him, and they split up from a mutual agreement. Well, nearly mutual. Either way, none of them wanted to stay with that label, and it was best for everyone. Jaskier still talked to his old bandmates, and they’d done a few gigs together afterwards, but they were still trying to figure out how to handle the band related matters, with the old label being quite frankly terrible, and having done quite the job when signing with too-young-barely-adults. Didn’t really matter either way, it didn’t make a good enough story, in his opinion - and Yennefer laughed, so Jaskier considered this a win.
“Good! I’m assuming this led to a big realisation on how lonely you were with them because they were taking away your sparkle or something like that?” she teased.
He gasped in mock-offence. “How dare you imply my bandmates were blood-sucking bastards! I’ll have you know, they were also joyless fucks.”
Yennefer laughed again, and he even heard a snort coming from behind them. Oh, so Geralt was listening to them. Interesting, considering he never seemed to have ever enjoyed Jaskier’s rambles before. He filed that away in his brain, figuring he’d think about that later, when he had time to process his own feelings.
“Anyway,” he focused back on the matter at hand, talking about himself. He was good at that, should manage without too much effort. “After that, I kind of focused on me, did a few gigs on my own again, mostly covers. Then I started making more music by myself, composing and singing my own stuff. It was fun, and I ended up going indie on that project. It worked out, and then I was busy all the time. Got a few albums out, did a few tours, and now I’m taking a break. Figured I deserved that, after all!”
He hadn’t really taken a break in a while. Too busy thinking, all the time – working was safe, working kept him from getting drowned in the thoughts. Working also, apparently, kept him from meeting people he hadn’t seen in a decade, and he wasn’t sure he enjoyed his break anymore, after all. Oh well.
Yennefer chuckled. “All in all, you’ve been a busy bee, then.”
“Quite!” He nodded, grinning. “I also started teaching some time ago!”
“Wow, teaching? Impressive!” she nodded, looking relatively admirative. “Never took you for the disciplined kind! What do you teach then?”
“Ah, well, I’m more of a chaos kind of teacher, honestly - a little wild streak gets the students more likely to engage with the content of the classes anyway,” he hummed with a wink in her direction. “I teach at my old music school, on the other side of town. All kinds of instruments, really - I got quite the amount of knowledge under my belt, in all honesty. It’s pretty fun.”
“That’s really good to hear, then. What about your little indie project then, tell me more about it – what name did you go with on that one? Or are you using Jaskier for it?”
“Ah, no–” He chuckled and shook his head as he spoke. “–I went back to the source for that one. Dandelion made his return to the stage.”
“Oh–” She turned her head towards him, looking a bit surprised at that. “–I thought I had recognised your voice some time ago.”
She let out a disbelieving chuckle at that and he lit up.
“Oh so you heard of me!” he blurted out, delighted.
She snorted at that. “Yeah, I–… The radio was playing a song the other day and I thought to myself, ‘hey, that voice sounds really fucking familiar’, but when the radio host said the name, I thought I was mistaken. Turns out it was you after all, huh?”
“Yep! Dandelion is me, and I’m Dandelion again,” he laughed.
She gave him an amused smile and they went quiet for a bit after that, still advancing with the parade. They weren’t that far from the end of the course at that point, and Jaskier had barely felt time pass. This was nice, if he didn’t think too much about the fact that Geralt was right behind them, and that just in front of them stood Geralt and Yennefer’s child, apparently. He really didn’t want to think about that right now, so he elected to speak again - that had worked well enough so far.
“Honestly, I was not expecting to be enjoying teaching this much, but I am,” he hummed. “It took me a bit to figure out what style of teaching suited me best, to be fair, but these past few years? They’ve been lovely. I love my students.”
“Oh that’s great to hear! I seem to remember you complaining about school a lot, in uni,” she answered, her tone teasing. “Though I also seem to remember you taking way more classes than strictly required.”
“Ah, you remember well, darling. I loved learning, but hated the process of it. Knowing things, being educated and being able to think about everything with as much information as I could always was one of my favourite things – I dreaded having to spend time on learning though. Too much focusing was required, I believe.”
She laughed at that and he went back to talking about his students. They all meant a lot to him – the music school was fairly big, but the classes were kept relatively small, and he had time to teach all his students properly. A lot of them had been in the same school for a while now, and after teaching there for a bit over half a decade, he had gotten to see a lot of growth in them. He couldn’t wait to see how far they’d go.
Teaching there was truly a breath of fresh air, in the midst of all the creating Jaskier did for his solo project. Dandelion had gotten more and more attention over the past years, and he’d gotten a few people recognising him out in the ‘wild’, but at the school, everyone knew him as Professor Pankratz and nobody even mentioned Dandelion, which was interesting. He knew a few students listened to his music, and several colleagues had talked to him about his next shows and such, but they made sure to separate the artist and the teacher. He liked it. And it helped when he was taking a break from creating – he could still teach without feeling stuck.
He hadn’t realised how much he had been rambling until they were standing in the middle of the ending point of the parade’s course. Obviously it wasn’t just over – they were concerts and festivities planned for most of the afternoon and evening, as well as several stalls installed for queer organisations, and places to buy pin’s and flags and badges and stickers –, but the parade was still very much over, and Jaskier hadn’t realised until they’d stopped suddenly. He paused partway through a sentence and let out an amused snort before finishing his point.
Yennefer, who had, in fact, been a fairly good interlocutor throughout the discussion, asking questions, making comments and actually listening, was smiling at him with that amused expression she had sometimes. Used to have at least – and only really during that time where Geralt and her had been back together for what seemed to be a happy several months. The ensuing break up, as well as the several fights following that, had put that expression in the bin, and then, well, she wasn’t exactly there anymore, so he hadn’t seen that expression that much. Either way, she didn’t seem to have minded his rambling, and wasn’t that nice! Jaskier grinned.
“I’ll be honest, poet,” Yennefer started, looking down at the ground before looking back up and patting their intertwined arms gently, “I missed that rambling of yours. Though I will strongly deny it if you ever bring it up again.”
He paused at that before barking out a laugh. “You missed my rambling? Are you sick, Yennefer darling? Did the sun affect you this much?”
He was only half-joking, honestly. Hadn’t exactly expected that. Certainly couldn’t help the wide smile on his face, nor the delight showing in his eyes. She swatted his shoulder with a fake-offended gasp, laughing.
“Shut it, or I’ll take the compliment back.”
“No takesies-backsies! You missed me!” he snorted.
“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes as she spoke, but simply chuckled and shook her head. “What I mean is – we should keep in touch. I’d love to hear more of that rambling, maybe in a less… crowded setting. It’s been too long since we caught up, Jaskier.”
“It has been a while, hasn’t it?” he mused, his smile softening. He went quiet, looking at the void.
Eight years was both so short and so long sometimes. On one hand, he knew there were plenty of opportunities for them to reach out to each other… But on the other hand, he also knew he had barely had any time for friends over the course of that near decade. And considering how he reacted to seeing Yennefer and Geralt – well, maybe he hadn’t taken the time to process anything either. He sighed. This was easier when he thought he wouldn’t ever see either of them again, honestly.
“Ah, well, I’m sure we can meet up sometime soon, Yen. It’s not like I’m going anywhere, am I? And, well–” He nodded towards Cirilla, who was talking to Lambert and Eskel in front of them. “–I’m assuming that having a kid requires you to settle properly, doesn’t it?”
“Your assumption would be correct,” Geralt muttered from where he stood next to him.
Jaskier startled a little and rolled his eyes a little. “And you are still way too good at being quiet, dear gods.”
Geralt rolled his eyes and Yennefer chuckled, and, well, Jaskier couldn’t help but smile, amused. This was familiar. Too familiar. He took a deep breath and focused back on Yennefer - much safer territory right now. Meeting up, organising… It required contact. Contact meant either phone or social media – but his socials were oftentimes a bit of a hazard , what with the last album he’d put out being still very much talked about right now. Right.
“Well, my phone’s dead right now, so you can’t type in your number, but–!” he blurted out, before extracting himself from Yennefer’s hold to rummage through his bag. He fished out a notebook and an ink pen, opening said pen with his teeth before scribbling his number on an empty page, adding a small ‘–Jask <3’ under it and tearing the page out. He handed it to Yennefer. “Here’s my number. You can text me whenever you feel like it, and we can arrange to go out, or for dinner, or whatever.”
She took it and chuckled. “That was quick thinking – used to handing your number much?”
“Hah! No, not really, in all honesty,” he snorted, “More like ‘used to figuring out the quickest way to keep in touch with the few friends who don’t mind months of radio silence from the overworked artist’.”
“Fair enough!” she laughed, folding the paper and putting it in her bag. “I’ll text you later then, and we’ll organise something.”
“You should come to a family reunion, that’d be hilarious,” Lambert exclaimed, turning towards them with a wolfish grin. “You’re the best entertainer there is, and boy do we need some. They’ve gotten so dull lately, always the same shit.”
Jaskier couldn’t help but laugh at that. He had been to a couple of ‘family reunions’ of theirs before, back in uni, after Geralt found out about, well… Whatever was going on at his family’s at the time. The reunions were far from what Jaskier called dull, honestly, but he guessed that after the same shit happening every year, one might need some changes. They were home-y and pretty nice, if you asked him though – Vesemir was a bit gruff, but so was Geralt, and that had never bothered him. Besides, Lambert was quite the showman in his own right, and Eskel, despite playing the reasonable role perfectly, was just as much of a trickster. At least half of them ended with some rough-housing between two or more of the brothers, and some huffing from their father, and Jaskier had absolutely adored these events. It was something he’d missed, after he and Geralt… lost touch. He still remembered sitting alone in the too empty kitchen of his new flat, on the day the reunion should’ve been held, and turning on the TV in order to ignore the quietness. He didn’t want to dwell on this.
“Talking about family reunions – how’s Vesemir doing?” he asked with a grin, electing to ignore Lambert’s comment. He knew the youngest of the brothers wouldn’t mind anyway.
“He’s doing alright, bit moody as always. He’s a great grandpa though,” Yennefer hummed. “We still disagree on a lot of things, but it’s getting better I suppose.”
“Oh, that’s lovely to hear - though in all honesty, I don’t think he’d manage to live without complaining about what everyone else does differently than him. With you being so stubborn, it’s bound to end in fights from time to time,” he half joked, and she rolled her eyes. “Is the shop still open?”
Vesemir had been the proud owner of a repair shop for years and years – he’d explained to Jaskier, a few years into Geralt and his friendship, how much his shop meant to him. It was a family thing, more or less, and paired with the car repair area next to it, the man had quite a lot of work at all times. His sons helped out there quite a lot, alongside doing small jobs everywhere, and Jaskier had always been admirative of how much knowledge they all held. Himself was terrible with tools, so that only fueled his admiration.
“Ah, well. He retired, Geralt, Eskel and Lambert run the shop now.”
“Oh really? It’s hard to imagine that place without him. How is he handling that? I always thought he’d rather die than walk out of there,” he joked.
The snort coming from all three brothers, completely in-sync, was enough of an answer, and Jaskier could already guess what answer he was getting.
“He’s been in the shop everyday anyway, and he’s actually handling the damn thing today,” Geralt hummed. “He would absolutely rather die than walk out of there.”
Jaskier couldn’t help it, and he laughed loudly at that. “Yeah, that sounds like Vesemir alright.”
“He says we’re all terrible at our job, and we tell him he should’ve taught us better, and then he grumbles about it for an hour before moving on, the usual. The only thing we got him to agree on is that we’re the ones going to work at people’s places when we get deals that require us to show up somewhere,” Eskel said in a conspiratorial tone, smirking at Jaskier.
“And how did he take that agreement?” Jaskier grinned.
“He grumbled about it, obviously.”
“Ah, yes. Of course. Should’ve expected that.”
They both laughed at that, and Jaskier realised how much he’d missed them. All of them, not just Geralt, not just Yennefer – but Lambert and Eskel, and even Vesemir. He had managed to push that down quite well, but dammit if this wasn’t bringing all of this back. And the worst part of this whole thing was that he knew that was on him. Sure, he and Geralt had fought, and it had been really nasty, sure Yennefer and him had had their fair share of issues too – but Geralt had always been quick to lash out and never been good at processing anything, and Yennefer wasn’t responsible for his crush on her boyfriend. And mostly? Jaskier had never reached out to Eskel or Lambert, never dropped by Vesemir’s shop despite knowing very well when Geralt wouldn’t be there.
His smile dropped, just a little, but it was enough for Eskel to notice apparently, because the other winked at him and grinned, cheeky as he spoke. “It’s nice to see you again, magpie.”
Jaskier chuckled and relaxed a little at the familiar nickname. “Well, the pleasure is mine! Don’t know if I’m free for the next family reunion, what with being a celebrity and all now, but you can always snatch my number from Yen here, and text me too.”
He almost winked in mock flirting, but decided not to – he might be feeling bold but not that bold quite yet. Eskel jokingly said he’d think about it before turning back to Cirilla, and that was it. Except it kinda wasn’t, because Jaskier’s brain was clinging onto the nickname that Eskel had randomly picked after meeting Jaskier a couple times. It wasn’t much in itself, but Jaskier couldn’t help but see it as an offering, a hand held out for him to take. A friendship offer, reassurance. He hoped he wasn’t mistaken.
After that, he went back to chatting with Yennefer for a bit, before he realised how late it was getting. He was originally planning on heading home immediately after the parade reached its end, having some work to do for his next class, but he had lost track of time, and, well. At least he’d had a good time! He did need to leave though, and he apologised profusely, swearing it wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy this lovely unexpected meetup – Yennefer shook her head, very understanding. He bid his goodbyes to everyone, and even got a hug from Cirilla, who immediately ranked highest on his ‘favourite people’ list. Geralt was completely silent throughout the whole thing, and Jaskier elected not to think about it – if Geralt wasn’t willing to even try moving on, there wasn’t much he could do, and honestly? It shouldn’t be something to bring up in front of the man’s 10 year old child. Jaskier waved at the group before running off into the crowd, heading to the bus stop he knew was closest and in service.
It was only once he’d gotten home, dropped his bag on his chair and plopped down on his bed that it hit him he’d never gotten his battery back from Cirilla. That was too bad, considering he definitely liked that one – most of his batteries had died randomly and mysteriously, and this one was one of the few that hadn’t, even though it was kind of haunted if you asked him. Ah, well.
Maybe Yennefer meant what she said. Maybe they’d organise something and meet up and he could ask for the battery back then.
He wasn’t sure he wanted to entertain the thought. He didn’t know if he wanted to get his hopes up. He’d given her his number, and not the opposite, because he knew he’d either not get the message if she didn’t mean it, or he’d talk himself out of messaging her. This way, she could set the conditions and take the responsibility for whatever happened. He was a coward like that.
He had work to do still, especially considering he’d gotten home this late, but he stayed spread like a starfish on his bed for long enough that he drifted off without meaning to. The sun had a tendency to knock him out like that – and the parade had been definitely sunny.
He woke up some time later, and ran a hand over his face. God the sun had hit him harder than he thought – probably due to standing in it for so long. He needed a shower, potentially as cold as he could handle, and a lot of water, he thought. He also realised he still hadn’t plugged in his phone and groaned quietly. Hopefully no emergencies happened while he was napping. He stood up and waited for the static from standing too fast to fade away, before going to get his phone from his discarded bag. He plugged it in, standing above it as he watched the screen light up and displaying the little battery icon charging up for a few minutes, before deciding that showering would definitely do him some good. He grabbed something to change into – an oversized black t-shirt, clean briefs – and headed to the bathroom.
He was right, the shower did wonders. The headache that had started to appear as he’d woken up was slowly fading back, and he felt less like he was about to collapse. Also, his muscles were less sore, which was really fucking nice. He looked at the time and decided that it was too late to work – he’d just have to work the next morning instead of sleeping in. He headed back to his room and turned on his phone again. The notifications he got were mostly from his social media feeds, which wasn’t unexpected in all honesty, but one caught his attention – a text.
Yen
Hey – hope you meant it when you said I could text so we could meet up. I might end up a bit busy in a couple weeks, but if we figure something out before that, I should be free whenever! If not, I’ll have to tell you again when I get the filming schedule.
- Yen
Today 6:48 PM
Jaskier read the text once, twice, then a third time to make sure he got it right. Huh. No hopes up for nothing then. He couldn’t help but smile a little. He was surprised to know she still had the same number as the last time they met, but to be fair, so did he, so it really shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise. He still made sure to write down her number in his notebook, just in case he needed to reach her when his phone was dead (the battery was slowly dying, and he procrastinated buying a new one, in all honesty), before answering.
definitely did mean it! I’d love to meet up. I can give u my availability if u want? I need to double check my schedule at school, and I have classes tmrw in the afternoon, so I’ll be able to do that then! :)
Today 8:34 PM
He pressed send, before heading to the kitchen to make himself some dinner. Today sure had been a day. Jaskier decided he didn’t mind that.
One Step At A Time, We'll Go On - [Remus & Dee bonding fic]
A/N: This is a short thing that I wrote as a small snipet of my characters in the RP I have going on currently with my boyfriend, @clownchecked ! And because it wasn't really an interaction per se, seeing as I'm playing both of them, I was originally planning on writing a short thing to send him, but it ended way longer than planned, so might as well make it a short fic.
Enjoy~
Summary:
Virgil and Remus have been dating for a while now. Their relationship was kind of a mess, to be honest. Except Virgil got 3 kids, only one of which is Remus's, and his teen child is not liking Virgil having a new boyfriend.
And Remus would like Dee not to feel trapped in their own house again.
TW: Reference to a dead character (Logan), family conflicts
Ship: Background Dukexiety, past Analogical
WC: 1804
Listen - Remus had made up his mind a while ago. He was pretty sure he'd known since they got together, actually, but he'd come to terms with the fact that he really wanted this and that he would do it for real, a while back still. The only other step before proposing to Virgil was, in Remus's opinion, Dee.
Hear him out: Dee might be Virgil's kid (and not the one who made the decision anyway), they still were very important and had to be taken into account. Especially since they were barely allowing Remus to be in the same room - though that was getting so much better lately, and Remus definitely had noticed how, even though they still wouldn't start the conversations, they actually did exchange convos with him now. Either way, he wanted them to know beforehand what he was planning, and to, y'know. Agree to it. Remus's goal had never been to make life harder for Virgil nor Dee, and he wanted to make sure Dee was okay, because despite them doing their best to show how much they despised him, Remus actually cared for Dee. And while they still had to learn that Virgil wanted Remus to move in with the rest of them, he figured they were smart enough to know what would follow, and that this would at least feel like they were in control of things. And yes, Remus would wait if Dee refused, he did want to show them they could at least trust that he would respect their boundaries.
All in all... He was so stressed about this. He had gotten a ring custom made to be unique, and to be honest, he hoped Dee would at least hear him out.
⠀
Dee wasn't stupid, alright? They could very much see that Remus was definitely a permanent feature now, and that he was spending more and more time over. They weren't sure how to feel about it. But at least the other didn't suddenly move in without warning, they supposed. When they heard a knock at the door that afternoon, while Virgil was busy outside, and Remus was keeping an eye on the littlings and them, they had a feeling that they weren't escaping this conversation. They were doing better though, nowadays. They could tolerate Remus talking to them (with them, even). They also noticed his efforts to keep in mind their boundaries, and how attentive Remus was to them. They had asked Virgil whether he was the one who told Remus about their tastes, and likes and dislikes, only to get a confused look from their dad as he asked why he would share personal stuff about Dee to Remus without asking Dee first. That left Dee with a confused feeling, between the need to cry, and the urge to yell. Anger, sadness, worry, regret, grief - they weren't sure exactly what was causing it, it felt too complicated to entangle it, but they sure felt it.
Either way, that knock meant tough convo ahead - the littlings were napping, and Remus usually worked during nap time, so. This was a real conversation. They weren't sure what to expect, honestly. They hesitantly told Remus to come in, anxiety rising, and Remus made sure to enter slowly, and not to go too far into the room.
"Heya Dee. Think we could have a small chat? Nothing bad, I promise - just wanted to know your opinion on something."
⠀
Dee kept quiet for a bit, before they nodded and sat on their bed, discreetly holding onto their plushy, hoping it'd comfort them. Worried kid. Remus definitely noticed, but kept quiet about it, and smiled encouragingly to them. He wanted them to be okay and feel like they could express themself, it was important. He hesitated for a bit, before nodding and giggling a little.
"I'm sorry, I'll be honest, I'm a bit nervous. But I want to preface it all by saying I truly want to know how you feel about the thing I wanna talk about, and that I promise I will respect your opinion, and I won't do anything to go against it. Okay?"
Dee kept quiet, before muttering a "okay", clearly unsure how to respond. It wasn't surprising, they didn't have much to go on, to be fair. Remus took a deep breath, fidgeting with the box in his pocket, before taking it out slowly. Dee was watching him attentively and frowned a bit, confused.
⠀
"I would like to ask you if you would be okay with me proposing to Virgil."
⠀
The sentence hung there in the air for a bit, Dee staring at Remus silently, their face visibly showing the whirlwind of emotions they were currently feeling. Remus felt bad immediately for dropping this like a bomb.
⠀
"I really love your dad, and I would like to marry him at some point. However, I don't want you to be upset by the news, or uncomfortable, or to feel like I'm imposing, so I wanted to ask you first, and well. I'll only follow through if you're okay with it. But if you're not, well... I don't mind. I can wait, it's okay." He smiled at the teen. "It's okay if you're upset, or if you don't want me to propose, I won't hold it against you I promise. And Virgil will never know about any of this either, promise."
Dee kept quiet, looking down as they tried to process everything. Remus wanted to propose... and he wanted them to agree to it first? That felt weird. And very much new, considering they hadn't exactly been warned ahead of time nor asked for their opinion much when it came to Virgil and Remus's relationship. Though the talk with Virgil had helped soften the repeated blows from before, it still felt bad, and Remus asking now felt foreign.
⠀
They kept quiet, and this seemed to worry Remus, because the other spoke again. "I promise this isn't me trying to impose nor me trying to force anything on you. And I really do not mind it if you'd rather I didn't propose right now. It's okay, and you're totally valid in how you feel. And I'm not trying to replace your dad either, and I know I'll never be him. Virgil will always love Logan, and I know that, and I promise I'm just asking because I want you to feel okay in your own house."
Oh. Right. Dee looked at their lap at that. Because a marriage led to moving in together, right? Dee hesitated at that, because they really weren't sure they wanted to live with Remus. Though it had gotten better, hadn't it? It wasn't like that at first. And, though they'd never admit to it to anyone else... Remus was kinda nice. He cared for Patton very much, and he took care of both Patton and Thomas, even though he only technically had to do that with Thomas - regardless of what Remus and Virgil, and Patton even, said, Dee still couldn't face the idea of Patton considering someone else his dad too, it was too hard. And even with them, Remus was nice and caring.
And they did have to admit that they didn't mind him being there as much, and it was kinda nice to have the house be... less empty sometimes. Because Remus was loud, and kinda everywhere, and honestly super clumsy, but also super mushy, it felt... familiar, though foreign. Kinda felt like home, sort of. Just slightly to the left. Not to mention how happy Virgil looked - though it always looked kinda upset whenever Dee was around, but that was mostly because Dee had been very awful about Remus, and that probably was why Virgil looked sad or worried so much. Or angry. Either way, Dee didn't like it much, though they felt like they couldn't stop themself from being like that.
⠀
Remus had kept quiet since Dee had looked down, and Dee was grateful he hadn't pushed. They considered their next words very carefully, trying to craft an answer that wouldn't feel like a lie, one way or another. But how do you answer a yes/no question when you have so many doubts? Dee wasn't sure. They felt conflicted. They looked at the other and Remus gave them an understanding smile. "It's okay, take your time - I'm not in a rush, I promise."
Dee hesitated before mumbling "Can I see it...? The ring?" and that made Remus lit up. It wasn't quite an answer, but it was something, and he was very happy about it. Especially since that something wasn't them yelling or throwing things at him. He went to sit on the floor next to Dee's bed, and opened the box to reveal a quite frankly beautiful ring. It was black, with purple and green shards in it, that seemed to shimmer and shine, though it was discreet enough, and definitely Virgil's style. Dee teared up - it was magnificent. Their dad would love it, and it clearly showed that Remus cared and paid attention. They gulped a little.
Remus looked at them at that, probably hearing them sniffle a bit, and frowned worriedly. "I'm sorry, did I do something wrong...? I'm sorry if I upsetted you, or anything, I didn't mean to." Dee shook their head and tried to dry up their tears with their fist, but it didn't work that well. Remus closed the box and put it back in his pocket, shifting so he was facing them, and took their hand softly, leaving plenty of time for them to pull away. They didn't, and he squeezed their hand.
⠀
"Are you okay?" Dee shrugged at the question. They weren't sure. "That's fair," Remus answered, before humming, "It's okay if you'd rather not answer right away. We got all the time in the world. Would there be anything that could help you feel better? A movie, a tv show - I can even leave the living room if you want to use the TV on your own." Dee shook their head and sniffled before mumbling "Dad'll love it. The ring... He'll love it, and I hope he- I hope he'll be happy with it."
Remus squeezed their hand softly. "I picked it specifically for him, after all... I hope he likes it, like you said." He smiled at the 12 year-old and hummed softly. Dee seemed to relax a little, very much overwhelmed, though the humming did help with grounding.
⠀
It took a bit for them to calm down, and they still had a lot of feelings to sort out. But their dad was in good hands, and they should focus on themself - Remus made it clear he was able to wait as long as Dee needed before taking a step forward, and that was something to hold onto.
The Ring in the Dark Blue Velvet Box - [Angst with a Happy Ending]
A/N: I had a very sad and upsetting idea, and I have a lot of feelings about weddings (both good and bad, I won't go into specifics), and I thought "hey, let's write this very upsetting scenario and put some of my fave characters through it". And this is what happened. I hope y'all will enjoy it :3
Summary: Janus wanted to propose that night. So did Logan. Something went wrong, and it was nobody's fault.
Human AU, TS Spoilers because usage of Deceit’s name.
Janus stared at the dark blue velvet box in his hand for a really long time. It was open, and in it laid a silver ring, encrusted with black and blue stones. A wedding ring.
Now, Janus was far from being the kind of person to get married. He honestly had never thought it’d be something he ever wanted. He had a lot of issues about the whole marriage thing, mainly because of all the failed marriages he had seen throughout his entire life - his parents being a prime example of bad marriages turning into a prison with no escape. He had, all his life, been convinced that he’d never get married, and that marriage was bad, something that brought so much negativity… And yet here he was. A velvet box with a ring inside, about to propose to his boyfriend of several years now.
His boyfriend was different. Logan had always talked fondly about marriage, and how it seemed really good and how lovely it seemed, to have a ring on your hand stating that you were married. Not that you were taken - both of them were polyamorous, both of them had other partners -, but that you were with someone you loved, that your fates were intertwined. Logan seemed to hold marriage dear, and at first, Janus hadn’t understood why. It made no sense to him - but now… Now it did. An eternity together felt like heaven, and a ring truly didn’t even begin to show how much he wanted this with Logan. How he wanted everything with him.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want it with Patton, his other boyfriend - it just was different. Patton and Janus had never really talked about these things, they’d never thought about the future as much. Patton felt like an open field, freedom, a nice weather. Logan felt like an old library, tea mugs and cuddles while the storm raged outside. Not to mention that Patton and Janus had widely different goals in life - and while they could make it work for a romantic relationship, Janus feared it would become harder if they were to get married. He was fairly certain Patton agreed, too.
Janus sighed. He heard the entrance door open and closed, and he quickly stood up, pocketing the box. He’d ask over dinner. He had everything planned, and even prepared a small speech - although he could already tell he’d forget about it and wing the whole thing, because that was always how it went with him. He headed to greet his boyfriend, smiling when Logan pecked his lips.
“Hey there love. How was your day?
- It was good, thank you dear., Logan answered with a smile.
- I’m glad then.”
Logan hummed at that, putting his bag down and hanging up his coat, before looking at Janus with a grin.
“You have that face on., Janus commented.
- What face?
- The face you make when you have an idea you want to talk about.
- Damn., Logan chuckled, You’re good at reading me.
- Well, I would hope so, we’ve been living together for a while now. Not to mention that we’ve been dating for even longer.”
Logan smiled and pecked Janus’s lips again.
“You’re right. I do want to talk about an idea of mine - but it’ll have to wait, because I need a drink first.
- Alright., Janus laughed, Go get hydrated love!”
Logan laughed as he headed to get himself some water. Janus slid his hand in his pocket, holding onto the box that was that. His boyfriend gave him a grin, and he felt his heart swell - god he loved this man so much. Logan finished his glass and put it down, before grinning excitedly at Janus.
“Alright, so, I have something to ask you.
- Oh really? So do I., Janus chuckled.
- Oh? Well, do you wanna go first?
- Oh no, do go ahead, my question can wait - you seem way too excited to share your thoughts, and that definitely peaked my interest.”
That got another wide grin from Logan, and Janus had to say he’d give anything to see his favourite nerd smile like that all the time. It was so beautiful and lovely, so… Perfect. He smiled and nodded for Logan to go ahead.
“I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I’m gonna propose to Roman.”
Janus froze at that. Then he felt the blood drain from his face, and he couldn’t tell how come he didn’t drop on the floor with how weak he suddenly felt. He gulped, and internally thanked all the entities that Logan was too excited to notice, because he was sure that his face must’ve dropped. He took a deep breath before forcing a smile back on.
Logan looked so happy though. He looked excited and happy and delighted, and it was all that Janus ever wanted. He squeezed the velvet box in his pocket and forced a giggle out, focusing back on what Logan was saying.
“I saw the ring, you know? And I knew for sure it was the ring I’d want to propose to Roman with. It was it! And I know he and I only talked about marriage a few times, but… It’s perfect for him. So I bought it! And I’m gonna propose to him on our next date. I already planned everything-”
Janus tried his best to focus on the conversation, but his thoughts kept taking over and Logan’s voice sounded like Janus was under water.. Did he know about the feeling of finding the perfect ring to propose to someone? Yeah. That’s what he had felt when he had seen the ring that was in the box, in his pocket. He had hesitated for so long that he was almost convinced that, when going back, he’d be told that the ring had been bought, which would’ve meant no proposal, nothing - but no, the ring was still there. And so was his feeling that it’d be okay, that him and Logan would be happy if they got married. He gulped and tried to focus back on what Logan was saying.
“-and you know, I know you don’t want to get married, so, I knew it wouldn’t be an issue with you, you know. So-”
Ah. Yes. Obviously. Janus was bad at expressing his feelings, especially when it came to correcting himself. He wasn’t sure how to express anything. He’d tried to tell Logan that he had changed his mind - but he didn’t know how. Visibly, he hadn’t managed to convey his change of heart at all. That was all on him then. Failed on that too, eh? Janus gulped, trying to hide how he felt like he had taken a very cold shower. He either managed very well, either Logan was too excited to notice that too.
“So, what do you say? Because, you know. I’m a bit stressed, what if it’s not perfect? Do you think he’ll say yes? I mean, I don’t know. What if he doesn’t?”
Logan was obviously a bit stressed, and that snapped Janus back to reality. He chuckled and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek, letting go of the box still in his pocket.
“Roman loves you, Lo. He’ll say yes, and you’ll have the most beautiful wedding.
- And you’ll help us prepare it, even though you’re not a huge fan of them?, Logan asked with a hopeful sort of tone.
- Of course I’ll help. Anything for my favourite nerd.”
And he meant it. His heart was kind of in pieces, but he’d help. Especially with the wide smile on Logan’s face right there.
“So… What did you want to ask?”
Janus managed not to flinch at that and he grinned.
“Just wanted to know if we could order pizza instead for tonight?
- Oh, of course! I’ll call them if you want?
- That’d be really sweet of you love.”
And with that, the subject was over. Janus headed to their bedroom, kneeled in front of his nightstand, all the way to the bottom drawer, and he put the box there, to the back of the drawer. Where nobody would find it unless they were searching for it. He sighed as he closed the drawer, sitting on their bed.
It’s not that he didn’t want Logan to marry Roman. He was truly happy for Logan and Roman, they were lovely together… But it still kind of hurt. Because they couldn’t all get married. Because he’d worked really hard on getting over his fear of commitment, because it had taken a lot for him to manage to make peace with his wishes, a lot for him to get the ring, a lot for him to work out the courage to ask. And because his insecurities were always around, saying all sorts of mean things, all sorts of fake things. Except this time, he refused to tell Logan about them - Logan didn’t need that right now, it’d only stress him out even more, or likely would lead to him second-guessing himself. Janus refused to do that to him. The box would stay in the nightstand, and everything would be alright.
Logan would have a perfect wedding, Janus would make sure of it. Regardless of who would be waiting for him at the altar.
~~
Janus was on the couch, his computer on one of the chairs that he had put facing him, his tablet in his lap as he doodled. He was alone in the flat, Logan being on a date with Roman. Well, not a date - Logan was on THE date. He was proposing tonight. Janus had done his best to help his nerd get everything done and perfect, and try to keep Logan from panicking completely. It had worked, and Janus really hoped everything would go according to plan. It had already almost been ruined by the rain, but luckily it had stopped before the beginning of the date. Supposedly, the date would end in a couple of hours, but Logan would most likely want to spend the night with his then fiancé - he’d text Janus, and Janus would have the night to mope over not being the one to wear the ring and get over it.
It was such a stupid thing to be upset about though. He wasn’t sure why he was upset even. He had never dreamed of a wedding, never fantasized about it. Never even saw himself get married. Never hoped for a proposal, never really thought about it until he had seen that ring. Until he had known Logan could mean forever. Until he had realized he trusted Logan with everything. He sighed and focused back on his drawing, his phone waiting by his side.
When the doorbell rang, about 30 minutes after, Janus frowned. Who the hell would come to their flat in the middle of the night? Patton didn’t live in the city and hadn’t managed to free himself the weekend, or he would’ve been there - when Janus had told him the story, Patton had immediately made sure that Janus’s bad thoughts would stay away. He was really not interested in getting married, and when Janus had apologized for wanting to marry Logan, Patton had laughed and waved it off with a “Never saw myself in that position, never thought that far ahead. The idea of getting married definitely makes me anxious, hah.”, which did make Janus laugh.
But back to the doorbell - Patton not being an option, the person who frantically rang the bell was definitely worrying Janus. He went to answer the door and he froze when the answer was a choked up Logan. He opened their flat’s door, closing it once the other got in, before grabbing the tissues and leading Logan to the couch. Why was his boyfriend crying…? Janus was definitely worried. He waited for the other’s sob to quiet down though - Logan would speak when he felt up to it.
It took a few minutes before Logan stopped sobbing, even though he kept hiccuping for a while. Janus had put an arm around his shoulders, rubbing circles in his back, trying to soothe him. Logan leaned against him and Janus kissed the top of his head. They stayed silent for a while, before Logan choked out a small quiet “He said no.”.
Janus froze, before squeezing Logan’s shoulder, holding him closer. Roman had said no? The questions started popping up in his head, but he managed to keep quiet. Why would Roman say no? Why would he not want to marry Logan? Had something happened? Did Roman hesitate? Was it Janus’s fault? Maybe Roman had been worried that it’d hurt Janus, maybe Janus just needed to call and reassure him, even though they’d only talked a few times at Logan’s birthdays and other festivities…- He looked at his boyfriend and bit his lip, shaking his head slightly to get rid of the thoughts..
“He said we were too young. Said he wasn’t ready for that. Said it wasn’t really something he’d want right now.”
Logan’s voice was more of a whisper at this point, but Janus could hear him clearly in the complete silence of the flat. He whispered a quiet apology, and Logan sniffled. Janus handed him another tissue.
“He said that when we’d talked about it, he didn’t think I was seriously considering it. Said he didn’t even know if it was something he wanted. He said I hadn’t made it clear enough- Of course I didn’t, I just thought- I-
- It’s okay, I know., Janus whispered.”
Logan nodded, burying his face in Janus’s neck. They stayed like that, silent, for a bit.
“I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know what I want anymore.
- It’s okay love.”
Janus kissed Logan’s temple. His boyfriend curled up, and he pulled him into his lap. Logan clung onto him, and Janus’s heart ached. He hated not being able to help. He didn’t know what could be done to help. Didn’t know if there was any way to help even. He held Logan close.
“I thought he knew- I asked him if he wanted to get married at some point in his life and he said yes! I asked him how he’d want to be proposed, I asked him what kind of marriage he wanted, whether he wanted to propose or for someone to propose to him… I thought it was clear enough, I don’t understand how he didn’t get it, am I too unclear, am I-
- I’m not sure how you could’ve been clearer than that. I’m sorry love.”
Logan fell quiet, and stayed there. Janus held him tight and hoped it would be enough right now.
“I love him so much…
- I know. He loves you too, you just are at different points in your life, it’s okay. It happens.
- I… Yeah. You’re right…
- Always am., Janus joked, his tone soft.”
That got a quiet chuckle from Logan, and Janus counted it as a win. It was enough for the night.
They stayed in that position for a while, Logan in Janus’s lap, curled up. Logan clang onto Janus the whole time, and Janus felt even worse than before. He didn’t know how to make his boyfriend smile again - all he wanted was to make his boyfriend smile again.
Once Logan’s breathing slowed down significantly, Janus picked him up and carried him to bed, helping him out of his clothes and into his pajamas. After turning all the lights off, he joined his boyfriend in bed, and Logan curled up around him. Janus hated to see his boyfriend like this… It felt like the world had ended. He sighed, and started to think of ways to make him smile again.
He just wanted Logan to be happy.
~~
Logan stared at the dark blue velvet box he had found in the bottom drawer of Janus’s nightstand. He had been searching for a very specific picture that he knew Janus kept preciously somewhere when he had seen that, in the back of the drawer. That looked like a jewelry box. A box for a ring. Which was strange.
It’s not that Janus didn’t wear jewels. Janus actually wore tons of them - Logan often joked that the man was addicted to them, and Janus always poked fun at himself for always stopping in front of jewelries. Logan would never complain about it for real - Janus looked great with all these jewels. It fitted him. He looked like an heir, with all of these.
No, the weird thing was that Janus kept all his jewels in a very specific place in his study, and nowhere else. It was part of these things Janus always put at the same place, one of the constant - so it made no sense for this to be there. Logan frowned and opened the box.
The ring inside the box was the most beautiful thing Logan had ever seen. Silver, chiseled, encrusted with black and blue stones. Nothing “too much”, quite discreet, but oh so precise and clearly meant to be an engagement ring. Logan felt scared to touch it, as if it would vanish if it came into contact with anyone but the person this was destined to.
And Logan’s stomach kind of dropped at that thought. Because clearly, this was a ring to propose to someone. And that someone had to be Patton.
It wasn’t that Logan thought he was the secondary there. He knew Janus loved both of them equally, and that they both meant so much to him - but Patton made so much more sense. Janus and Patton had been dating for longer - granted by only a couple of months or so, but still. Patton was also better with feelings, and if anyone was to manage to get Janus to want to propose, surely it would be him.
Which brought Logan to the reasons why this hurt. Janus had always been so sure he’d never get married. Always made it clear that he wasn’t a fan of weddings, always stated that it wasn’t him. Sure, he listened to Logan ramble about weddings, and even gave opinions, but that was it. He’d repeatedly said that he’d never propose to anyone, because he wasn’t the kind of person to do that, even! And yet, here he was, planning on proposing to Patton. Despite saying repeatedly that he and Patton weren’t all that interested in getting married. And not only did that feel really painful for Logan because of his own insecurities, it also reminded him that he hadn’t gotten his boyfriend to marry him, while Patton would definitely say yes. Of course Patton would say yes. Logan sighed.
He closed the box and let out a chuckle, composing himself back.
“You didn’t tell me you were planning on proposing to Patton!, he called out jokingly.”
That was the other thing. Making this decision had most likely taken some time, knowing Janus and how he took decisions - balancing pros and cons, comparing everything, double checking every single detail… Had he kept quiet because it was around the time Roman had denied his own proposal? That would make sense. Definitely hurt though. Another reminder.
“What are you talking about?, came Janus’s answer, tone obviously confused.
- The velvet box? In your drawer? With the wedding ring in it?, he said teasingly, Don’t tell me you already forgot about an engagement ring!”
The silence that followed was tense, and only made Logan more certain that Janus had kept quiet about it because of the whole thing with Roman. He forced out a laugh.
“You know it’s okay right? It’s not because Roman told me no that you’re not allowed to get married, my dear.”
He hoped his voice wasn’t too hesitant. God, he hoped it wasn’t, because he was literally feeling like his heart had been shattered and stepped upon repeatedly, and he could feel the anxiety and panic attack creeping in. Logically, he knew this should be okay, and it wasn’t against him, he did, but… It didn’t feel like that at all, alright?
Janus stood in the doorway, and Logan’s eyes snapped to him. Something was off, but he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly. That is, until he could and he frowned a little. Janus was really pale. Sure, he was generally quite pale, but right away, he looked somehow paler. He was tense, and looked generally horrified. Logan tensed a little. This couldn’t mean anything good…
“Why did you look in that drawer?”
Logan froze at that. Janus’s voice was a quiet whisper, and it was definitely not a good tone. He sounded like he was about to start crying and was barely holding himself together, and that was really scary, because Logan hadn’t heard his boyfriend sound like this in ages. Not since Janus’s last big meltdown. He bit his lip before clearing his throat.
“I was looking for that picture you have of our first anniversary together… I don’t know where you put it, but I’ve seen look in your drawers a few times, so I assumed that was where you might’ve put it.
- O-oh…”
Janus looked away and shook his head, before pointing to the trunk in the corner of the room.
“It’s in there. That’s where I put all of the important happy memories.”
He kept his eyes away from Logan, and that definitely made Logan feel like his heart had stopped and his blood had gone cold. Janus never looked at people in the eyes, but he always kept an eye on his partners. Except when he was in a really bad place and couldn’t visualize any faces, of course, but Janus wasn’t having a meltdown, and Logan was worried. He thanked him, before going to him slowly, hoping not to startle him and that his boyfriend would let him come close. Janus didn’t move away, just kept his eyes on the floor. Logan was fairly sure his worry was written all over his face.
“Baby, what’s wrong…?
- Everything’s fine, Logan.
- That’s a lie, and we both know it., he whispered, taking one of Janus’s hands softly.”
When Janus didn’t pull away, Logan brought the hand up to his lips and kissed Janus’s knuckles softly.
“Please talk to me? There’s nothing I can’t hear, I promise.”
Janus kept quiet for a while. Logan waited patiently. He’d wait until the end of the world if needed too - he just wanted to help Janus.
“I bought the ring 2 months and 6 days ago., Janus whispered.”
So barely a couple of days before Logan had told Janus about his plan of marrying Roman. Alright… That didn’t explain the secrecy though. Was it because Janus hadn’t been willing to steal the focus…? That didn’t sound right, Janus never kept secrets from Logan before, not on things this important.
“Why didn’t you tell me about it? I would’ve helped you plan the proposal, dear. You helped with mine… I would’ve loved to help with yours.”
Janus kept his eyes down and his mouth shut. Logan felt kind of worse minute by minute. 2 months and 6 days and the ring was still there…
“Did you try and he said no? Is that why you still have the ring? Or did you not find the right time, and-
- The ring wasn’t for Patton, Logan.”
Janus’s voice was quiet, but Logan heard it clear as day, and he froze. What…? But - if it wasn’t for Patton, then that meant that… Janus only dated the two of them, and the realization dawned on Logan really quickly. And the only way he could describe the feeling that crawled on his back and slid between his ribs, wrapping itself around him was “dread”. Strong, ensnaring dread.
“It wasn’t?, Logan choked out.”
Janus shook his head, and Logan felt his heart shatter again. Because that wasn’t good at all, was it? It could only mean one thing.
He had denied Janus’s proposal without meaning to.
And god, that felt awful. He knew the feeling that receiving a “no” gave you. But this wasn’t even a “no”, this wasn’t even a proper denial, this was just… Indirect and painful. Then he thought about how Janus had helped him plan his proposal. And how much that must’ve hurt so much more. Logan felt his chest tighten, and he kissed Janus’s knuckles again, squeezing his hand slightly. Janus squeezed back, softly.
Janus looked at Logan, and Logan could see how hurt Janus was, all the pain he had kept quiet. Not only did an indirect “no” must’ve hurt, but that coupled with Logan not knowing and Janus not wanting Logan to know meant that Janus must’ve bottled up all his feelings again, even though he and Logan had been working on not doing that to each other. That and the fact that Janus must’ve used a lot of courage to buy the ring, make the decision… And then to be shut down immediately. That was worst. Logan gulped.
“I’m sorry - I didn’t mean for you to find out…, Janus whispered.”
Logan froze and looked at Janus in astonishment, and a bit of horror. Why was Janus apologizing?
“I didn’t want you to feel guilty when it was on me. I was too afraid of commitment, and I had the whole thing with… You know. Bad role models, bad memories… I made sure that wedding wasn’t even an option - that’s on me. But I knew you’d blame yourself - please don’t blame yourself -, so I didn’t say anything… And when Roman said no… Well. I didn’t feel like that was the right moment. Didn’t think it’d be a good idea. I was worried you’d think I was pitying you or something, or that you’d say yes as a rebound, or…, Janus sighed, Or that you’d confirm the feeling that you’d rather be with Roman and didn’t want me at all.
- Oh, darling…-
- No, I know, you love me, I know you do. You never made me feel like you didn’t love me. But you know how my brain works… What ifs, and you seemed so happy to marry Roman, and so crushed when he said no, I was terrified you might be disappointed, or… Or simply that you wouldn’t be as thrilled because of the change in plans. I don’t know. It’s not logical, but when is my brain ever?, he said with a weak chuckle.”
Logan squeezed his hand and Janus squeezed back. They stayed quiet for a while, and Logan could see the tears filling up his boyfriend’s eyes, and slowly rolling down his cheeks. He stepped closer and leaned their foreheads together, taking Janus’s other hand in his own. Janus closed his eyes, and so did he. They stood there for a while more, before Logan smiled slightly and mumbled.
“The ring is beautiful by the way. It’s very… Me. Very us.”
Janus let out a quiet, wet giggling noise at that, and Logan squeezed his hands. He prefered that to the hollow tone Janus had before that.
“You think so?
- Yes. I love it.”
There was a small silence, before Janus whispered quietly.
“Enough for you to wear it, maybe?”
Logan paused, his eyes opening immediately, as he stared at Janus with a mix of shock and awe. Janus looked a bit hesitant, worried too, but he wasn’t backing off of this.
“Definitely., he whispered;
- Really?
- Really., he nodded.”
Janus looked at him in awe, a lovestruck expression on his face, and Logan felt like he would melt at any moment. Janus let go of his hands and cupped his face before kissing him softly. Logan leaned into the touch and in fact melted, kissing Janus back. Sure, it wasn’t taking away the pain of the previous denied proposal, but it was a start, and it felt nice.
Janus had always had a good eye to pick ring sizes, and jewelry in general. It fit Logan perfectly, and it looked lovely with all of his wardrobe.
Endgame ships are Anxceitmus, Mosleep and Logince!
I am, in fact, going w my HC that Remus’s first act when he started T was to grow a mustache because hell yeah
Logan, Patton and Virgil are all in the same Uni, and Patton and Virgil live on the campus - Logan has a small flat nearby
Virgil dragged Patton into loving the Others - Logan is the only one who isn’t a full fan of the band. He doesn’t mind them though, he’s just quite neutral on the matter, and doesn’t mind that Virgil and Patton listen to them a lot
Remy is a couple of years older than Virgil, Patton and Logan; Janus is a year older than Virgil; the twins are the youngest, by about half a year
>>here is the drawing i made for the au<<
here are the previous ramblings about the au >>(1 - full post)<< & >>(2 - ask by ronni)<<
