#vampire things

[theetherealvulture]

New vampires smp headcanon just dropped... It's silly

The vampires bite each other affectionately... Like jokingly pushing someone... And I think Shelby started it.

Shelby did it once to Scott, and he got pissy so no one did to Scott after... But everyone else is fair game.

Owen hates it - doesn't want the others to touch him in a personal way, pyro finds it amusing, Shelby views it as hugs (and is just finding ways to cope). As for apo and Cleo, they haven't caught wind of it - so if/when it happens, theyre either confused or angry

[theoneandonlybella]

POV: The Cullens getting ready to meet bella

Esme: okay so I found this guy on the tv that makes italian food?

Rosalie: how the fuck are we just assuming she’s italian because her name is Bella?

Carlisle: guys where’s that couch thing for the living room?

Alice: Can we learn to play some kind of American sport in the next 20 minutes?

Emmett: How are we going to *serve* this food?? WE DON’T HAVE PLATES.

Jasper: What about this piece of paper?? That can be a plate, right?

[satbehindyouinmath]

[not-really-all-that-human]

Being a catkin and a vampirekin is funny cuz it's like "oh yay sunlight :3" and also "OH GOD SUNLIGHT"

[icephoenixcom]

Never swipe left on your own wife.

[vampiricfuckass]

How do i cope with the hunger? I cant drink much blood at once because it makes me nauseous and i dont have frequent access, so i am usually a little hungry and end up overeatong on normal food and drinking a lot of water at once to deal woth it. It doesnt help much or for long at all, and sometimes the thirst becomes almost overwhelming. Any tips?

Get laid, seriously, take it out in the bedroom strapping some girl through a mattress. It won't feed you but it will get some of that energy and distraction out somewhere. Failing that, get on your donor grind.

I mean it when I say you're going to want 2-3 consistent donors, and finding them/maintaining relationships is a whole thing, but let that hunger drive you into getting the fuck out there.

Also look into storage for blood, EDTA tubes (4 day shelf life) are easy to get but CPDA-1 bags are pretty much the buffer that gets me through. Just knowing I have 36 days of blood in the fridge (assuming I don't plow through half a bag in a night) really calms the anxiety.

That being said. Don't fight it, learn to harness it and let it propel you, put that energy SOMEWHERE. There's enough self loathing sangs in the world, we don't need more :P

[academic-vampire]

🩸🦇 Little Modern Vampire Things:

Constantly tired during the day (they often stay up late at night, or all night, due to their nocturnal nature).

Always wearing sunglasses (but not inside—don’t want to look suspicious).

Constantly asking friends if their outfits look okay/if their appearance looks good (they can’t see themselves in mirrors).

Drinking blood and saying it’s cranberry juice.

Drinking cranberry juice and saying it’s blood.

Visiting museums (finding their old belongings behind glass).

Having very long, dark eyelashes.

Going to cemeteries (for the aesthetic).

Acting surprised whenever someone says, “wow, your teeth are really sharp!”

Eating garlic bread publicly (gotta throw them off the trail!).

Wearing a lot of mysterious jewelry that is worth more than the average house.

Drinking a lot of coffee (with some blood added to sweeten it).

Wearing mostly all black (even in the middle of summer).

Staring off into the distance for hours.

Completely forgetting their birthday.

Completely forgetting their AGE.

Forgetting the year.

Having pristine hair. Usually straightened.

Often just “appears” and scares people on accident.

Star/moon gazing.

Adoring thunderstorms.

Keeping photo albums of their friends over the years, even the ones who are long gone. (Sometimes it’s hard to look through them, but the albums are their most important possessions).

Hating the awkward moment while standing on someone’s doorstep waiting to be invited in.

(Feel free to add more in the comments)