Un-Vegan Substitutions
Many vegans and vegetarians enjoy substituting non-animal products when cooking meals that would otherwise involve meat, but carnivorous cooks have lagged behind in the substitution field when it comes to finding suitable substitutes for vegetarian and vegan products that can be made with meat instead. Here are a few delicious and similar tasting, similar baking materials:
Tofu - Lard
Flax seed - Bone meal
Mushrooms - Shark cartilage
Marzipan - Lard
Oat/Almond milk - Komodo dragon blood
Quinoa - Gallstones of an American red wolf
Seaweed - Llama or Camel cochlear hairs
Wheat - Lard
Apricots - Lard
Broccoli - Plantar warts
Coconut oil - Lard
Avocado toast - Swill oil on dehydrated mollusc gills
Vegan cheese - Gland scrapings (insect or isopod)
Jello - Lard
Jello Biafra - Lard with Al Jourgensen











