#ventingcommunity

[moneylessbitch]

btw she was the proof for me that I can be loved.

[moneylessbitch]

can't make things right if I don't even know right from wrong

[moneylessbitch]

I can try to make everything better all I want but I always end up fucking things up, for me and for everyone, my mind is fucked and it will stay like that. Why was I even born in the first place if not to hurt?

[moneylessbitch]

sometimes I stop feeling numb and suddenly it gets so bad and I am 17 and addicted to xanax again and I feel so free and awfull that I might just act on the thought

[moneylessbitch]

TW SELF BURNING

I wanna set myself on fire so bad right now, lil burns don't work anymore.

[moneylessbitch]

either I kms or I fuck up beyond redemption.

[moneylessbitch]

I know that I can't be loved because of who I am, I am messy and grumpy and when I care about something I break it or it breaks me.

I wish I could feel like I matter for who I really am, but I can't if I am the first to hate on me and make me feel bad on purpose for being me.

[moneylessbitch]

TW SUI Am I a bad person if I can't take it and give up on things? Am I a bad person because I know that either I loose everything or I loose myself by ending me?

I am trying, for most people and most things that's not enough though.