mindy wifey !!
PLEASE DO YOU HAVE ADVICE ON LONG DISTANCING WITH UR GF IM STRUGGLING ITS SO PAINFUL LIKE WTF DO WE DO MAN
hey emily! ✧
oh my heart literally aches for you right now. long distance is one of those things that nobody really prepares you for? like one day you're cuddled up watching that show you both pretend to like because the other person loves it, and the next you're staring at your phone waiting for a text like it's oxygen.
i went through this with my ex for almost a year (before we realized we were better as friends tbh) and it was honestly the most bittersweet mixture of yearning and growth i've ever experienced. some nights i'd be scrolling through our photos at 3am wondering if love was supposed to hurt this much? spoiler: it isn't, but distance creates its own kind of ache that's separate from the relationship itself.
here's what actually helped us survive (and what i wish someone had told me from the beginning):
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ create rituals, not just calls ･:࿔ೃ.⋆
everyone says "communicate!" but nobody tells you how empty that advice feels when you're staring at each other on facetime with nothing new to say. instead, create shared experiences:
watch movies together using teleparty
order the exact same takeout and have dinner "together"
send each other the same book and discuss chapters
play online games that don't require much skill (i'm terrible but it's about the laughs)
the goal isn't just talking, it's feeling like you're still building memories together.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ touch the physical world together ･:࿔ೃ.⋆
this sounds so silly but it helped? we would both go outside at the same time and text about what we were seeing, or send pictures of the moon knowing we were looking at the same one. sometimes we'd both make the same recipe and compare results (mine were always disasters but it made us laugh).
send physical mail too. like actual letters and tiny packages with silly things that made you think of her. there's something about holding something they touched that hits different when you can't hold them.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ normalize the hard parts ･:࿔ೃ.⋆
the worst thing about long distance is feeling like you're failing if it's hard. you're not. it IS hard. some days will feel impossible and some days you'll be fine and both are normal. we started something we called "honest hour" where we could say things like "i'm really struggling today" or "i felt jealous when i saw that post" without it becoming a whole thing.
it's also okay to be sad together sometimes? not every call needs to be cheerful. sometimes we'd just exist in the sadness of missing each other and that felt more intimate than pretending everything was fine.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ plan for the next time ･:࿔ೃ.⋆
always have the next visit on the calendar, even if it's months away. the human heart needs something concrete to look forward to. we made a shared pinterest board of things we wanted to do together next time, and it became this little garden of hope we could tend to when things felt especially distant.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ take care of your whole self ･:࿔ೃ.⋆
the hardest truth? your relationship can't be your entire emotional world when you're apart. nurture your friendships, throw yourself into hobbies, create a life that feels full even in their absence. it's not betrayal, it actually gives you more to bring back to each other.
i know this feels impossible right now, but there's a special kind of strength that long distance couples build. you learn to love someone for their essence rather than just their presence, and that's actually really beautiful?
sending you the softest hugs and all my hope that the distance between you feels a little smaller soon. remember that love isn't measured in miles, it's measured in how your heart expands to hold someone even when they're not right beside you.
xoxo, mindy 🤍
