I studied classical voice for 6 1/2 years under several incredible instructors. But my first voice teacher - and the one I studied under the longest - was exceptionally wise in the way of performance etiquette and finding new ways to look at old patterns. One of my favorite things he ever said to me was this:
"When someone compliments you or thanks you for what you have done in a performance, do not argue with them. Do not try to be bashful, do not explain where you messed up. Thank them. Thank them and let it be. Because this moment is not just about you. This is their moment too. Just because you felt one way about your performance doesn't mean that what they felt is lesser, uneducated, or wrong. Your insecurity should not be allowed to invalidate their experience of the gift you gave them. "And let me tell you something, when you stop arguing with people when they tell you that you did a good job, something magical begins to happen. Slowly, you'll begin to feel their experience with them. Your mistakes won't seem so big and your hiccups won't seem as disastrous. So when someone compliments you, take the compliment. It's theirs and it can be yours too."
I think that can apply to just about anything we create. We are, more often than not, our worst critics. But when someone comes to us, complimenting us, our performance, our work, whatever it is, it's not our job to "correct" their viewpoint of it to match our own. We shouldn't invalidate their experience with our creations simply because we may not like them. And when we stop trying so hard to make everyone else think about us the way WE think about us, maybe... just maybe, we'll eventually be a little kinder to ourselves, too.
