i present...the spoonscanons
so, context, a typical hang out for a super cool friend and I is to go to spoons and then talk about mincemeat for upwards of 5 hours, and last time we kiki'd we had an in depth conversation of what the mincemeat characters would order at spoons, so please enjoy the insanity @bogusbyron and I cooked up
monty - he's getting a pitcher of some fruity cocktail, HOWEVER he's not admitting to ordering it. what is in said pitcher of cocktail depends on
a. how drunk he is at the moment he orders, and
b. how much he hates himself at the moment he orders.
he's always like "now who got this!" and tries to play it off, he's also the only one drinking it, he's ordering no food but he's "sharing" with charlie (read: stealing from) he's also a chronic glass and tablewear stealer
charlie - charlies is getting fish and chips (he's born to find fish ig), he's easy, he's simple, he's gotten the same thing every time. to drink he's having a lemonade, no fruit no ice though, just the bev
hester - she's classic, it's pasta alfredo and a gin and tonic, she's leaving the moment she's done and bevan is coming with her (they never arrive together but they always leave together) jean will sometimes come with when they do, they'll walk her to the club
jean - she's getting the curry and then bitching about how it's not spicy enough and brings her own hot sauce. she's also getting smth with vodka, she's pregaming for going out with the typing pool girls afterwards
bevan - classic steak and chips with a lager (or a guiness depending how on much monty has pissed him off. the more empty glasses on his table the shittier his day has been. the only person who he will always make time for is hester
spilsbury - banned. monty knows why, he goes glassy eyed when asked about it.
reggie - spicy wings and a black coffee, he's having a horrible time but he still gets the same thing every time. (everyone tells him he has the power to change what he gets, he refuses to listen)
masterman - just a solid burger and a pint, he (unlike reggie) is having a GREAT time, masterman can also find a table like no ones business, they always send him in first
fleming - british tapas, he's getting a 3 for 14 pounds deal and he's switching it up every time. he's also getting a martini bc ofc (he hates them, he's trying to look cool, he's not having as bad of a time as reggie, but he's not enjoying that martini, he thinks everyone can't tell, however everyone can tell and are trying to let him know he doesn't have to order a martini)
the typing pool girls are not at spoons fyi, they are at the club, however they keep sending the table stuff for the hell of it
the loud boys are never invited to spoons, they just keep finding everyone there. even when the gang tries to change spoons, the loud boys find them.
throughout the course of the night hester and bevan's table slowly moves farther and farther away from wherever monty is, by the end of the night jean is walking back and forth between the two tables.
there is never a seat for monty, no matter how empty the place is, he starts standing and then makes charles share his chair with him, it then ends up with monty sitting on charles's lap bc he's complaining about how two people can't sit on the same chair, no other reason
so yes, those are the spoonscanons
