#whiskey.text

[whiskeyhavoc]

List of Fucked Up Behaviors I Bet McCree Got From His Time In Deadlock

ALright this is mostly a list of shit I think McCree would have displayed mainly in his early Blackwatch days, it’s in no way concrete or comprehensive so feel free to question or add on to it I love hearing other ppls headcanons

Very little emotional control. I feel like Jesse would have been SUPER defensive about the littlest things, probably had a very short temper, but also that his anger faded very quickly bc he got used to suppressing it when it wasn’t convenient to the point that its actually became difficult for him to sustain it for very long; also, though, that he acted on his anger pretty quickly and impulsively for a long time

Food hoarding, especially high-calorie snacks and stuff with a long shelf life. He was prob food-insecure for a good portion of his childhood so this one just makes sense to me

If he doesn’t know how to do something, he figures it out on his own or it doesn’t get done. He will not ask for help at the risk of seeming incompetent or vulnerable, but also this backfires because if you don’t know how to do something in Blackwatch it’s typically something real fuckin important

On that thread, gets really anxious if he doesn’t know how to do something he’s been told to do because a) he expects some type of negative consequence unless he figures it out, b) he doesn’t ask for help because he never considers it an option. Sorta of the mindset of “everything is a test and I don’t wanna find out what happens if i fail”

I never really vibe with hcs of him being really uhhh.. openly frightened or anxious due to someone’s behavior? If I know anything about being exposed to a hypermasculine and hostile/violent environment for any amount of time it’s that you learn to hide your emotions pretty damn well.

“Good Luck! My Real Emotions Are Behind 7 Proxies! (And Buried Under Years Of Repression And Trauma!)

Tries to be outgoing and friendly and get on the good sides of as many people as possible because he constantly expects the backstabbing and underhanded agendas that were common in Deadlock and people are marginally less likely to kill you in your sleep if they think you tell a good joke

Reads people, like, scarily well. Can spot someone being fake-friendly from 30 miles away. Generally a great judge of character but undersells his own ability

If someone with any amount of power over him is mad about something he did/something he caused to happen, he goes very still and quiet and generally tries very hard to look appropriately sorry while simultaneously trying to not look terrified. Bc he is terrified! He fully expects physical punishments for mistakes, if they’re big enough to cause someone to be legitimately angry then he expects Real Bad Shit

Sees favors and gifts as debts to be repaid or tools of manipulation

is SUPER POSSESSIVE of his stuff. Gets extremely upset at anyone touching or moving his stuff w/o permission but depending on the person will also be too scared to tell them to fuck off (eg if gabe was going thru his stuff he’d just sit silently fuming and anxious as hell but wouldn’t say a single thing bc That’s The Commanding Officer”

Scorns and fears authority simultaneously. He’ll be a smartass if he thinks he can get away with it or if he can tell that the other person is in a jokey mood but at the same time he’s constantly terrified of punishment.

ill prob add more as i think of them but uhhh take this 

[whiskeyhavoc]

Buckle up fellas its time for more Deadlock/early Blackwatch McCree Headcanons

Im Back Bitches with a hefty dose of Being Exposed To A Hypermasculine And Violent Environment For A Long Time Irreversibly Fucks Up How You Communicate

McCree is smart as hell actually. You don’t get to a position in an arms-trafficking gang that an international organization deems you a worthwhile allocation of resources to interrogate rather than throw in prison unless you actually know shit. McCree’s sharpshooting was definitely his most famous skill, both in Deadlock and in Blackwatch, but that’s not all he’s good for by a long shot. 

Here’s the thing. Growing up in a gang isn’t the best conduit for learning how to actually interact with regular, everyday people. In a situation like McCree was in for like, 5 years MINIMUM (though my personal hc is that he was in Deadlock since he was 10-11 due to family connections), you develop really unhealthy ways of interacting with people. like uhhh

Anyone who’s the same rank as him? He won’t listen to em for shit usually. Because in Deadlock, everyone in your cohort was constantly trying to fuck with you, it was like a social bonding thing. Just like, straight-up lie about things that don’t matter like “Hey you need to go pick up so-and-so they’re waiting out by exit-whatever”  and send the person on a 20 minute drive for no reason. It’s How It Is. When he gets to Blackwatch no one knows how to give him advice on what to do because he wont, fukcing listen to them??? He learned 90% of how shit works at the watchpoint his forst few weeks by just observing how people interact, where they go, who does what and when they do it.

On Social Bonding, LOVES to outshoot other people, it was one of his favorite things to do in Deadlock because he knew he was the best of the best. Other shit, not so much (he still sucks ass at poker). In Blackwatch it was one of the main ways he tried to make a name for himself because?? That’s what worked in Deadlock?

Actually, I’m gonna build off this. He also knows when to throw away his shot. In Deadlock if you were fucking around with the boys (eg people roughly the same age and position as you) you could just do whatever, get in fights, cheat at cards, drag race, whatever. If you’re with people who are a) more powerful than you, b) stronger than you, or c) more dangerous than you, you couldn’t pull that shit. If you won at anything, it had to be by a tiny margin. If you lost at something they knew you were good at, it also had to be by a tiny margin. It usually only took one time of beating someone who was bigger than you at something they thought they were good at to learn that you let them win or it would mean pain for you. 

This isn’t good in Blackwatch. This doesn’t work in Blackwatch. McCree tries to throw a shot by a like a quarter of an inch when he’s shooting against Gabe and Gabe IMMEDIATELY is like “What the Fuck was that. i know you’re better than that are you trying to do bad on purpose? what the hell McCree” and Jesse is like ‘oh SHIT’

This is also good angst fuel because like... Jesse goes from this place where you had to be able to read people scarily well to keep yourself safe and had to hide your potential because doing too well was seen as a challenge to someone’s authority, to this place where if you DON’T use your full potential it’s seen as a problem and where you’re SUPPOSED to do the best you absolutely can, and he has no fuccin idea how to make that transition

I also like to think that this is why he tries to put out this persona of being a kinda dumb, lazy, easygoing cowboy when he’s actually sharp as a tack and extremely observant. "it is a clever man who plays the fool” and all that. 

ok back to social shit. Sees arguing with a superior as both dangerous and pointless, because in Deadlock that shit was what got you shot. This isn’t saying he didn’t joke around with them and tease a little, but that’s just how it was in Deadlock, and it was all very carefully controlled in how he spoke. It was more of a social ritual than actually conversing. Actually arguing with something they said? Trying to go against their orders? Are you fucking crazy?

This carries over to Blackwatch in a bad fuckin way, because you arent exactly supposed to like uhhh.... talk like that. to the commanding officer. dude. That’s probably part of the reason he was seen as even MORE of a delinquent, because he didn’t communicate with his superiors in a way that they saw as being respectful (when he was actually just doing his best??) 

that’s all for now folks don’t forget to subscribe

really tho please feel free to comment on this shit i love it

[whiskeyhavoc]

AND ANOTHER THING: I L O V E the hc that using Deadeye takes a serious mental toll on McCree and I wanna expand on my personal headcanon for it. 

So we can sorta infer that McCree was fairly respected in Deadlock, probably due to a combination of shit, but with a lot of credit due to his fucking insane talent with a revolver. That’s sorta why i think he knew/learned Deadeye before he ever joined Blackwatch and was likely part of the reason that Reyes wanted to recruit him. That’s beside the point tho i digress

SO Reyes knew Jesse was a crack shot, and during his first little bit in Blackwatch, like during evaluations or training, I’d say he met and excelled expectations. He’s great!! But Reyes also knows that while he’s probably in the top 5% of all marksmen, he kinda thinks there’s something missing? Like, Yeah, the kid is amazing, but it’s what you’d expect from someone who has a lot of natural talent and tons of practice. He’s not quite living up to his “legendary sharpshooter” status. 

So Gabe prob eggs him on, kinda jabs at him a little or whatever but doesn’t really push until he’s like “Hey, this is an extremely important evaluation and it could decide your status in Blackwatch so I need you to really live up to your reputation right now kid” and Jesse ends up using Deadeye. Absolutely floors everyone, that kid took out 6 moving targets in less than 4 seconds, what the fuck. They’re super impressed and afterwards they have to meet to discuss it so no one really thinks to check up on Jesse. 

I think the symptoms of using/overusing Deadeye would be similar to a concussion, like:

headache

dizziness/vertigo

slurred or disorganized speech

looking dazed

delayed response to questions

“brain fog”

sensitivity to light and noise

plus some others like anxiety, paranoia, possibly even hallucinations if he had severely overused it.

Anyway, once the adrenaline has worn off Jesse stumbles back to his room and curls up until he absolutely has to get up, grits his teeth, and acts like nothings wrong. He’s a good actor. No one notices, aside from maybe one or two people going “hmm McCree is acting a little different” and the other person inevitably going “Oh well he did just have that huge eval he’s probably just still a little shakey from it”

I feel like any time he used it, he would make a real effort to hide any symptoms at the risk of looking vulnerable or being seen as a liability (because he’s heard of people being discharged from the military for as little as a stress fracture and in Deadlock you didn’t get sick days, because if they tell him to stop using it then what is he good for?). So he’d probably keep it hidden for a longass time until he used it one too many times trying to cover their asses in a firefight, and back at the safehouse Gabe finds him shaking and dry-heaving into a trash can with his bandanna pressed over his eye. Def presses him for details and tries to figure out whats wrong bc he’s like. Genuinely worried. Is he injured?? What’s going on??? This has never happened before?? and eventually gets the story out of Jesse bits at a time and is like “Oh my god why didn’t you tell someone, you’ve been dealing with this since day one are you serious??” but also Gabe prob feels hella guilty because that’s why McCree went sneaking off so often after missions, that’s why he was always late with his report, it’s not because he’s lazy or irresponsible it’s because he’s practically fucking dying.

I ran out of thought juice but please feel free to add ur own deadeye headcanons or discuss this one or whatever ily all

[whiskeyhavoc]

Hey, here’s another Jesse thought because I never stop thinking about him: He probably resource-guards hardcore as FUCK. You know how siblings and cousins always eat all ur fuckin snacks when you’re trying to save them so u gotta come up with places to hide them? Imagine how much worse it would be with older teens and grown-ass adults who a) weren’t related to you, b) were known violent criminals, and who c) had access to deadly weapons at all times. Snacks? Gone. Cigarettes? Gone. Belt? Gone, impressively. You leave anything anywhere and its gone in a second. Someone drops a wallet? Guess you got a new wallet!

Obviously Jesse would learn to not let people near his shit under any circumstances, but a big part of that would involve learning to defend his stuff from people (because fat chance saying “no” would do anything) and learning how to hide anything important to him without letting anyone know it was important. (Because if they know its important, they’re gonna want it even more).

Like, imagine that in Blackwatch. He knows (assumes) if he hurts anyone in Blackwatch/Overwatch that he’ll get thrown in supermax, and to him “unable to hurt”=“unable to defend from”, so he has to resort to hiding everything. He gets his new room and immediately slits the seam at the back of the mattress and stuffs his most valuable things in it: mementos and photographs. He keeps his favorite little penknife in a sock, neatly folded alongside the others in his drawer. Lucky playing cards in his pillowcase, granola bars taped to the underside of his desk, spare money hidden in his lining of his hat. He only puts things he doesn’t care about in the footlocker, because it’s the most obvious place to look if someone wanted something of his. He doesn’t have his vest anymore or he’d stuff it full and never be without anything, because he’s so used to carrying his home around in his pockets and holster that not having 90% of his worldly possessions on his body at all times makes him feel vulnerable, makes him paranoid that when he gets back to his room that it’s all going to be gone.

(Gabe doesn’t realize anything until McCree attacks the poor agent doing room inspections who found the snacks taped to the underside of the desk and tried to throw them out.)

(Gabe makes sure he warns the others not to touch anything, and makes sure Jesse knows that they know)

[whiskeyhavoc]

I always kinda laugh when ppl are like “hanzo is brooding and mysterious and haunted by his past and mccree is an open book with his heart on his sleeve, a big friendly goofball” like goddamn hanzo probably tells his life story and biggest regrets to anyone who talks to him for more than 10 minutes. The first thing anyone at OW knows about him is like... a) he killed his brother and had to be a dramatic fuck about it and b) he’s still so fucking dramatic????? Shimada “dark and mysterious” Hanzo my ass everyone knows what he feels all the time. C’mon. (For real tho I feel like Hanzo is just reserved and introverted in general but if someone actually gets to know him on like, even a very basic friend level he’s an open book)

Meanwhile McCree is genuinely friendly and outgoing but also no one actually knows what he feels most of the time because he keeps his genuine thoughts and feelings very very close to his chest and hides them behind this layer of friendliness and jokes and subtle redirection (because he’s also not an idiot!! he’s smart! and also this is very much a holdover from his abusive past that i mentioned here where “No pussy emotions like depression or self loathing allowed only rage and apathy” was prob a common mindset in the environment he grew up in). Like they both hate themselves!!! But McCree is very lowkey and private about his self-loathing and sorta tries to make people not worry about him by treating it like its a joke or somethin, and tries to keep up this façade of being silly and acting dumb so no one gets a peek at his real feelings

Uhh anyway i love McHanzo as a ship but i get tired of McCree being treated like a big emotional idiot!!! Please be nice to him!!!!!!

[whiskeyhavoc]

Oblivion by Lost Dog street band is such a good McCree song if only for the lines 

When the Lord made me, He made a loaded gun And I have beat better men That should have won

And when they’re pleading for mercy From your right hand I swear there’s not a single difference Between a crook and honest man

[whiskeyhavoc]

And, just to reiterate, I don't think Jesse is ever honest about his emotions. Like, maybe 1/10,000 times when someone asks him how he's doing or tries to get him to open up will he be honest. Because honesty is not a luxury he had in Deadlock!! Or in Blackwatch, really! His whole attitude is geared toward "Survive Through Any Means Necessary" so he sure as hell ain't gonna have a heart-to-heart with anyone, ever, except maybe like 3 times in his whole life, because his whole life he's seen that honesty is a vulnerability, its a weak spot that can be exploited far too easily, so its a thousand times safer to not let anyone know how he feels.

[whiskeyhavoc]

How do you think McCree dealt with the whole "literally almost all your kinda parental figures have either faked their deaths or are kinda dead but not really" thing. (Mostly 76 and Reaper)

WOW YOU JUST WENT STRAIGHT FOR THE THROAT HUH

Honestly? I think was mad as hell. Of course, there’d be the hurt and confusion and guilt, but I think he was mostly rip-snorting pissed. 

Like, if they had shown up a few months after their supposed deaths, I could see him being more accepting and forgiving them (with probably a lot of crying). At that point, I don’t think their death’s (Reaper’s and 76′s) would have had time to sink in completely. Especially not with the “their bodies weren’t recovered” part. He would prob be willing to accept it as part of the SEP weirdness and just be grateful that they were alive. 

But we’re talking literal years, here. That’s WAY past the point of accepting someone as being well and truly dead.When he finds out they’re alive, after he got over the initial disbelief (which might take… a few days, tbqh. Like, if my dad showed up at my college graduation or something I’d just think I finally lost my marbles and started hallucinating, so I assume it’d be similar for Jesse) (This could also include the popular hc that using Deadeye too often can cause hallucinations because i love causing myself pain :)) I bet he’d be royally fucking furious. And hurt! Especially re: Gabe, because like… Gabe taught Jesse so much and really believed he could do good in the world and was probably the best role model Jesse could get, and suddenly he’s back from the dead (barely) and killing old agents and shit??? What the fuck?? what the fu

And they never thought to tell him? Jack, I’m sure he would understand, because I can’t see them being super close. But Gabriel? Hot damn, that’ll be a whole other host of issues to unpack wrt abandonment and self-loathing. 

I think he would be pretty resentful. In the time they were “dead” he had a lot of opportunities to really grow as a person outside of their influence, so when they came back I’m certain he didn’t welcome them with open arms (even if he had wanted to). I feel like it would take a long time for things to be even remotely similar to the way they were before, especially with Gabe.

And don’t even get me started on Ana