things you don’t want to hear during rehearsal
the squeaky sound of someone rosining their bow
“oh, wait. is this two pages?”
a cello falling over onto its bridge
a flute falling off a music stand
the neck of a double bass hitting something
someone’s endpin sliding back in
someone hitting their head on their tuning pegs
the low brass slowing down
the percussion speeding up
the percussion breaking their sticks
only half the room remembering the ritardando
an alto saxophone attempting a high c
a clarinet attempting anything past a high c
someone spilling a water bottle
a second violin when their part says they have to shift
all but one of the violins forgetting the g#
a bow stroke longer than 8 beats
pizzicato sixteenth notes
christmas songs in september
the sound of someone stepping on a ligature
“cork grease, the forbidden snack”
someone playing your solo much better than you
a bow that isn’t rosined nearly enough
someone knocking over their case with their foot
drumline in a closed space
someone sneezing into their instrument