thinking about nice guy!winwin who actually isn't a very nice guy at all :( he's your best friend. a sweet, loving, great guy who you tell everything to. rant about other boys, about your job, about friend drama, about all of the trials you go through on a daily basis. he has a raging crush on you, but you could never see him in that way :( he's cute, but you could never imagine him in a romantic, or even worse, a sexual light.
noncon, manipulation, name calling, risk of pregnancy, ww says sorry a lot, reader cries and cries and cries, he's so sweet even when he's violating you :( … eventually, again this is pure noncon winwin is not a good person. do not read if this isn't your cup of tea. this is NOT consensual
poor winnie was oblivious to the fact that you just didn't see him in that way, though. he thought that all of the time spent together, the stolen glances, asking for his jacket whenever it was chilly outside, that it meant more than it actually did — that you saw him in the same way he saw you.
countless nights he'd spend underneath the covers stroking his cock, thinking about how your first time together would be. how he'd take his time exploring you. how he'd kiss every inch of you body. how pretty you'd look underneath him. how your cunt would clench around him like he was a perfect fit for you.
poor sicheng was obsessed with you, and you were none the wiser.
this was going to change soon, though. today was the day that he finally was going to confess his feelings for you.
he didn't want to go too over the top and scare you away. no flowers. no date. he was just going to bring it up while the two of you were watching a movie together in his apartment.
the credits rolled, and you weren't too impressed with that movie. "wow, that movie was a little boring, don't you think?" you started, taking a sip of your soda.
"yeah, it was," he mumbled. he couldn't care less about the movie. it could have been a cinematic masterpiece. but all he could think about in this moment was you. "listen, i need to talk to you about something.”
oh? you were caught off guard, for sure. "talk to me? is something wrong sichengie?" you replied, a trace of concern in your tone.
"no, no, nothing's wrong," he clarified, clearing his throat so that he could get his words out. "nothing's wrong at all.”
"then what is it?" you urged, growing more confused.
silence. and then, he spills everything.
"i... like you. like, as more than a friend," he began, his gaze shifting away from yours. "i always have. you're beautiful. you're smart. you're kind. you're funny. you're everything i could ask for in someone. you're amazing... i know this is coming out of nowhere but. yeah. i have feelings for you.”
as the words spilled out of his mouth, pangs of guilt began to rise up in your chest.
you didn't feel the same way. not at all.
you didn't know why you didn't feel the same way. sicheng was sweet. doting. loving. and he was stunning, too. he could be a model if he wanted to be. he was the perfect and complete package, but something just stopped you from being able to find him attractive in that way.
and now you had to crush his heart.
"listen, that's really sweet," you began. "really, i appreciate it so much but i... i just don't... i don't like you in that way, winnie, i'm sorry.”
you could practically see his heart shattering in real time as you said the words. tears began to pool up in his eyes, and his lips quivered just slightly.
"sichengie, i'm sorry," you repeated, not knowing what else to do, what else to say. if you should say anything at all.
more silence. you could hear a quiet sob slip from his lips as he broke in front of you, trying his hardest to keep it all together.
“listen, winnie. you’re a good guy. you’re sweet, you’re kind, you’re—”
“but not good enough for you.” he cut you off, bitterness laced in his words. “i’m good enough to listen to all of your fucking problems. listen to you talk about dejun, and hendery. and ten. and all of the random fucking guys you whore around with all the time but i’m not good enough to —”
you looked terrified as his dejection turned into venom. his face twisted up into a scowl. he noticed how hurt you looked by his words and he immediately softened.
“sorry. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean that i’m just— yeah. sorry,” he lowered his voice again, a shameful look creeping upon his face.
you didn’t know what to say. you’ve both experienced a range of emotions in the past 10 of so emotions — none of them good. you figured it was better for you to call it a night and talk about this when sicheng was a little more stable. when the rejection wound wasn’t so fresh.
you stood up from the couch. “look, sicheng, i’m sorry. i think it’d be better if i went home for the night, we can talk about this with a clearer head sometime. i’m sorry.”
with one last apology, you began to walk towards the door, but sicheng stood up with you. in one swift motion, he grabbed your arm and slung you back onto the couch.
it happened so fast, that you couldn’t even react to it before another apology fell from his lips. “i’m sorry.”
you looked up at him with pure fear in your eyes. you’ve never seen him like this. ever. you didn’t know if you should attempt to fight back, or just take whatever he had in store for you, but when you attempted to pull yourself off of the couch, he pushed you back down, climbing on top of you right after.
you were overpowered. he was stronger, and taller than you, too. he pinned your arms above your head, and spoke softly. “let me show you how good i can be to you,” he purred, leaving a soft, gentle kiss to your neck after.
his hand found it’s way between your legs – you cursed yourself for wearing a skirt today. if you wore pants, he’d have to do a lot more work to access you. tire himself out. and then you’d have a chance to get away, but instead, you were easy access.
you didn’t move. you didn’t speak. you *couldn’t* speak. you felt like you had entered some kind of fucked up nightmare. you couldn’t fathom that sicheng, cute, sweet, kind sicheng, was forcing himself onto you like a common animal.
when he pushed your panties to the side, his fingers making contact with your pussy, you felt tears begin to well up in your eyes. even now, he was so gentle with you as if he wasn’t taking you against your will, that it made you feel confused.
“you’re dry,” he spoke in a dejected tone as he began to rub your clit. of course you were dry, you didn’t want this.
suddenly, the heat on your neck dissipated as he pulled away, his hand still working between your legs, trying desperately to make you wetter than you were. he grabbed the hem of your shirt and tried to pull it up, “help me get this off, yeah?”
you didn’t want to make him angry again. even though he was still violating you, he was being sweet… or so he thought… and you didn’t want to experience the short burst of anger he has earlier again. you figured that with him acting like this, that’d make this whole thing more bearable, so you did what you were told, pulling your shirt up over your head, leaving your upper half completely exposed.
from then, he left a trail of kisses from your chest, down to your stomach, until he was lowered inbetween your legs.
he hooked a finger inside your panties, pulling them down until they reached your ankles. you kicked them off, still fawning, still scared shitless of what he could do to you.
once your panties were gone as well, and the only thing on your body was your white pleated skirt, he spread your legs wider, before diving into you.
you wished he was worse at this. you wished he would fumble around, fail to find your clit, probably try to fuck his tongue into your hole like many guys before him thought felt good on your end (it did not.) you wished that he didn’t know what he was doing, but he did.
he lapped at your clit with vigor, swirling his tongue around it like it was nothing. you began to cry again, silently, tears streaming down your cheeks as he flicked his tongue against you.
it felt good. it felt *great* even. but you couldn’t allow yourself to enjoy this. not when you didn’t want this.
unfortunately, your body betrayed you. the way his mouth and his fingers worked in tandem with each other to bring you to your peak – or at least, make you wet enough to be able to take him in without it being horribly painful – made your stomach tighten with pressure. you cried harder. you were going to cum on his tongue, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. you were out of control with yourself. out of your own body.
your back arched involuntarily as you came apart, tears coming harder and harder as you tried your hardest not to make a sound – the sound that did exit your lips was more like a scared whimper than a moan of ecstasy.
once he was satisfied, he pulled away from your soaked cunt, making himself level with you again. “what’s the matter? why are you crying, princess?” he thumbed your tears away, softly and gently. “am i being too rough?”
you didn’t quite know how to answer that. or if you should answer that at all. if you reminded him that what he was doing was, in fact, non consensual, he would likely get angry. you didn’t want to risk upsetting him. you quietly shook your head, and prayed and prayed that this would all be over soon.
he freed his cock from his sweatpants and his boxers, already rock-hard and slick with precum. the good news was, he probably wasn’t going to last long. not a chance. he looked painfully hard, and he was obsessed with you. hopefully he’d cum before he even got it in.
“tell me if it hurts too much, okay?” he assured you as he lined his cock up with your entrance. “i want our first time to feel good for you too.”
silence from you again. at this point, it was better for you to pretend you didn’t hear him whenever he said something.
the intrusion was painful, no matter how much he prepared you. it didn’t help that he was pretty big. not the biggest you’ve ever been with, but enough to stretch you out. enough to make you squirm.
at this point, you were sobbing as he bottomed out inside of you. you were so full, so stretched, you usually would love this feeling. you considered yourself to be a size queen, and you loved for it to hurt a little bit, but now it stung.
you all but dissociated through the rest of it while he continued to fuck into you, violating you. you tried your best to tune it out, the pain, the grunts slipping past his lips, his pet names, his kisses, all of it, but you couldn’t. you were still there. stuck. until he decided he was done using you.
“gonna cum inside,” he announced, and with that, you regained your voice. you begged him not to, begged him with all of your might, told him that you weren’t on birth control anymore, that you couldn’t get pregnant, telling him he could cum wherever he wanted – on your face, on your thighs, on your ass, wherever, just not inside you, but of course, he didn’t listen.
“i’ve always wanted to get you pregnant,” he continues, as he fucked into you even harder, “you’d be such a good mother. so caring.”
with that, he rubbed your stomach, as if you were already knocked up. you felt a bit nauseous.
and then, despite all of your pleading, he finished inside of you, the warmth feeling a bit comfortable despite the fact that there was nothing comfortable about this. nothing. in a matter of minutes. your best friend, the guy who you could depend on no matter what, took advantage of you right there on his couch. and there was nothing you could do about it.
he stayed inside for a little while before pulling out, running off to the bathroom to get a towel. you laid there, frozen, just as you’ve been the entire time. your biggest worry was making sure you weren’t pregnant. you wondered if you could get a plan b this late. everything was closed by now. you’d have to get one in the morning.
sicheng returned with the towel, cleaning you up gently, whispering words of praise to you, how you took it so well, how good you were for him, as if he had no idea that what he was doing, what he did, was deplorable.
“do you want a bath?” he asked softly. you shook your head. you wanted to go home. you wanted to go home and never speak to him again.
“mm, okay,” he responded, with that, he tossed the towel to the side and carried you to his bed, mumbling something about how he didn’t want you to sleep on the stuffy old couch. maybe you’d be able to get out of there whenever he fell asleep. once he laid you down, he pulled the comforter over you, kissing your forehead. “i love you.” he said, finally, before sliding into bed himself and turning the light off
Pairing: Winwin x f!reader
Wordcount: 2.2k
Warnings/kinks: You get your panties stolen | No foreplay | Unprotected sex | Pillow princess kinda sex | Petnames (Little mouse, princess, bunny, puppy) | Praise kink | Cum eating | Brief kinda oral? Like, really brief (f receiving) |
Author's note: Posting this, reminds me how much I loved writing it. haha~
You’re sulking all day, practically vibrating with impatience so strong it’s probably peeling the paint off the walls. The notification said your package would arrive around noon.
Four hours later... still no sign of it.
You lie down in Ten’s bed—then immediately get up and switch to Xiaojun’s. And still, that gnawing discomfort chews at your insides. You know you’re being dramatic. You know it. And that doesn’t stop you from being exactly that: dramatic.
Usually, Ten is quick to shut it down. But since you’re alone in the dorm today, there’s no one around to stop the full gremlin meltdown you’re currently spiraling into.
You’re now lying upside-down on the sofa, legs dangling over the back, your head almost touching the floor. And the sigh you let out is so deep and intense, you probably woke the dead.
There’s a knock at the door. Your eyes snap open, and you freeze like if you breathe too loud it’ll undo the fact someone actually knocked.
You try to flip over—but fall straight to the floor, face flat against the hardwood. That doesn’t stop you. You shoot up like lightning and run to the door, flinging it open.
The package is there. Sitting right on the doorstep.
“Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod.”
You shove your feet into the first shoes you see—which, clearly, are not yours because you’re swimming in them—and scoop the box into your arms like it might disappear if you blink. You practically bolt for the parking lot.
But the second you reach the car, you stop with a groan that could shatter glass—you forgot Ten’s car keys. Which are, very conveniently, in a bowl right next to the front door.
“What did I do to the Gods for them to punish me like that?”
You place the box gently on the hood of the car, then sprint back upstairs. You grab the keys and race back to the parking lot, carefully setting the box in the passenger seat and buckling it in with the seatbelt—safety first—and hop into the driver’s seat.
You put your phone on speaker and start drumming impatiently on the steering wheel.
“Wèi?” Winwin answers, voice uncertain, a little breathless.
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Come open the door for me.”
“No please?” he teases.
“Pweeease~”
“Alright, alright. See you in a bit~”
And those fifteen minutes? They feel like an entire day.
By the time you park, retrieve your box (held tightly like a sacred object), and head to the side door the guys always sneak you in through—Winwin’s already there, arms crossed, leaning against the door to keep it propped open.
“Took your sweet time...”
“Traffic was a nightmare...”
You bite your lip shyly, laughing like a total idiot. And that’s when Winwin’s eyes drop to the box in your arms.
“Whose costume is it this time...?”
You step inside, letting him walk ahead so you can follow. You didn’t think this far ahead, honestly. And now that you’re here, the embarrassment settles deep in your gut like a stone.
“It’s yours...” you mumble, clutching the box to your chest like it might somehow shield you from the shame.
You can’t see his face. But when you glance toward one of the training rooms—a giant window letting you catch his reflection—you see him lick his lips and smile that devastating smirk.
“Is that so, little mouse?” he says, voice lower now, with that maddening grin.
“Don’t call me that...”
“I think it suits you,” he replies, slipping his hands into his pockets.
“Why’s that..?” you grumble, nearly growling.
“Because wherever you are... we don’t find you right away— but we can hear you squeak.”
You pout as you drag your feet behind you, just briefly—but it’s enough to make Winwin laugh.
“Come on, little mouse,” he says, opening a door.
You step inside. It’s just a practice room like the others. All four walls are floor-to-ceiling mirrors, a few workout mats are stacked in the corner, and a water machine bubbles softly every now and then.
But to your surprise, the others aren’t there.
“Where’s everyone?” you ask, curious.
“When you called me, they were heading out to eat.”
You flush just slightly, your fingers tightening around the box—which suddenly feels way too small in your hands.
“You should’ve told me... I could’ve waited.”
He shakes his head gently, laughing softly. His smile is so warm that, if you didn’t know better, you’d swear he’s looking at you with something like affection.
“What’s in that box of yours?”
“Your costume.”
He raises an eyebrow, stepping closer. His chest nearly brushes the box as he reaches out to take it from you—his fingers grazing yours. The touch should’ve been brief, but instead, he softly strokes his thumb across the back of your hand before pulling the box away. And your heart thuds so hard in your chest you’re suddenly terrified he might hear it.
“You already said that. But what is the costume?”
He opens the box slowly, sifting through the contents with no real rush. A subtle smirk tugs at his lips. You open your mouth to speak, but his eyes flick up to yours before you get the chance—and he licks his teeth in a way that makes your knees twitch.
“Is there a particular reason for this specific costume?”
You swallow hard and turn your head, too embarrassed to meet his gaze.
“No reason...”
“You’re such a bad liar. Come on, tell me.”
“I just thought it’d look good on you... and I may or may not have had a huge crush on that character when I was a kid...”
“That’s what I thought.”
He winks, clearly amused by how intensely you’re reacting to just a little bit of flirting.
“Cover your eyes. I’ll put it on just for you~”
You lift your hand to your face, biting your lip softly. The thought of seeing him in that costume gives you butterflies in all the right places. And the wait? Feels just as long as the drive here—maybe longer.
“You can look, little bunny.”
You suck in a sharp breath, lowering your hand—but your eyes stay closed. The anticipation is so intense, you honestly feel like just seeing him in costume might be enough to make you melt on the spot.
“Should I take it off..?~”
“No!”
Your eyes fly open, and for a second, you forget how to breathe.
The white mask molds perfectly to his face. The outfit fits like a glove. Even the cape drapes dramatically over his shoulders, flawless in every way.
“I am Tuxedo Mask,” he declares, bowing deeply with his right hand over his heart. “And I’ll punish you in place of the moon.”
When he straightens back up, all you manage to say is:
“Wow...” Your knees feel like they’re about to give out.
“That’s all you’ve got? Sounds like you’re disappointed.”
“No, no... God no. I am nowhere near disappointed. Fuck, no...”
He nods slowly, stepping closer—so close you can feel his breath against your lips when he leans down to your level.
“How about I take care of you... Princess Serenity?”
“Ok.”
The word slips out instantly, before you can even think about it. And the worst part? There’s no hesitation. No awkward pause. No freeze.
Because your body wants him just as much as you do.
He scoops you up in his arms like a princess, carrying you a little further into the room. With one foot, he drags an exercise mat into place, then gently sets you down on it.
He brings a hand to his shoulder and yanks at the cape hard enough that for a second you think he’s torn it. But no—he just rips it off the clasp with a quick snap.
“It’ll be in the way if I keep it on.”
You part your lips and nod silently. Your whole body starts to heat under his gaze as Winwin lets his eyes roam over you slowly, like he’s memorizing what you look like sprawled out with your legs just barely parted.
He kneels between your thighs at a pace so slow it feels almost criminal, his palms gliding gently over the outside of your legs.
“We don’t have much time, though...” he admits, biting his lip.
“I am not above a quickie...”
The words barely leave your mouth before you feel your cheeks burn red. But it only deepens the smirk on Winwin’s lips.
“I can work with that.”
His hands slip under your skirt, tugging your panties off with deliberate slowness before tucking them into his pocket with a soft laugh.
“I’m keeping these for later..~”
A whimper of excitement escapes your throat as he plants a hand flat on your chest, gently pressing you down until you’re fully lying back.
“Just lay pretty, and let Daddy do the rest.”
You let out an audible sigh and bite your lip, embarrassed at how easy it is for him to turn you on. He notices, of course—so he leans down between your thighs and barely tastes you with his tongue before sliding two fingers inside. The sound he makes against your skin is a low groan as his fingers move in you, sloppy and wet.
It doesn’t take long before he straightens, undoing his pants and stroking himself with the same hand he used on you, the noise wet and obscene.
“You’re already soaking for me... There’s no point wasting time with my fingers.”
He drags the head of his cock slowly over your clit, then down to your entrance before pushing in, slow and deep. The sound that leaves you is a moan; his is a low, rough sigh as his head tips back.
“That’s it... Take it and let me do the rest, princess.”
His thrusts are steady, but the way he angles his hips makes you moan harder—like he knows exactly where that sweet spot is that makes your back arch.
You try to push up, but he plants a hand firmly on your chest to press you back down.
“What did I say, pretty?”
“To lay pretty...” you whisper, cheeks flushed.
“That’s right... Just take it like a good girl~”
You bite your lip hard as he lifts your thighs for more depth. Despite yourself, you tighten around him—enough to make him lose rhythm a few times, groaning softly as his breathing grows rougher, less controlled.
He tilts your hips higher, then leans down to kiss you—hungry, needy, losing his pace as his mouth claims yours.
It makes him miss your g‑spot a few times.
Without thinking, your hand slips between you to rub your clit, making you moan louder. It doesn’t take him long to pull back and watch what you’re doing, giving you a sharper thrust through clenched teeth.
“Hands above your head...”
Instinctively, you raise your arms overhead, and he pins them there with one hand, holding you in place.
“You don’t listen… If you want something, ask me to do it,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against yours.
“Sorry...”
“Don’t apologize... Just behave for me, mm? I’m not Ten; brats don’t get me hard. They keep me from my pleasure.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear...” you mumble, blushing harder.
“I know, princess. I know.”
The door creaks open behind Winwin, making you instinctively squeeze your thighs around him—right before it clicks shut again, the sound of the lock sliding into place echoing in the room. Winwin’s jaw tenses as he glances back, but he doesn’t stop.
Knocking follows, accompanied by laughter.
“Come on, let us in,” Kun says, chuckling softly.
“Don’t be a pain...” Ten adds, his voice heavy with a sigh.
“Can’t. Because I’m a good puppy.”
A louder moan escapes you—your orgasm building fast. You squeeze Winwin’s hand tight, legs wrapped snugly around his waist.
“My good... good puppy...~”
Xiaojun lets out the softest whimper from where he is at the door, and you know without a doubt that it got to him. It’s what pushes you right over the edge, your body trembling as you cry out Winwin’s name—loudly. Loud enough they definitely heard it.
“That fucker...” Ten snaps, his tone spiking with rage.
As your climax crashes down, Winwin pulls out just in time, finishing on your thigh with a low, satisfied growl—painting your skin with his hot release. He doesn’t waste a second before leaning in to kiss you again, keeping your leg held open so his cum doesn’t touch the costume.
“You’re such a good girl.”
You giggle softly, nibbling teasingly at his lip. He moves to wipe your thigh with his fingers, but you stop him with a smirk, biting your lip.
Your gaze immediately shifts toward Xiaojun.
“Come clean me, puppy.”
His eyes light up, and he darts toward you like a shot, biting his lip in a poor attempt to hide his giddy grin. He fails miserably.
Winwin leans back just enough to watch, giving him room, while Jun kneels between your legs to do exactly what he’s told. He takes his time, letting his tongue drag over your skin far longer than necessary. When he lifts his head to look at you, the cool air replacing his mouth makes you let out a soft squeak.
“Can I taste you..?” Xiaojun asks, fluttering his lashes innocently.
You hesitate for only a second, then nod.
“Only two licks. Just to clean me.”
He pouts but obeys, settling back between your legs and giving two deliberate, almost reverent strokes with his tongue—just as ordered.
“My good puppy,” you whisper before pulling him into a kiss.
“He listens so well to you...” Winwin murmurs, eyes on the youngest, smiling faintly.
an: happy belated birthday to my number one cutie, my wayv bias, winwin!! i miss u so bad, please come home!!!!!!!!!!! but also winwin actor for this one ;)
—
you were lounging on the couch, scrolling through your phone when your boyfriend burst through the door, clutching his new script like a trophy. winwin’s face lit up with that boyish excitement you adored and he waved it at you before dropping onto the cushions beside you.
“baby, the script for my new show just came in, it’s got this steamy sex scene,” he grinned, eyes gleaming with anticipation as he leaned closer, his voice dropping—
“picture this, the characters start off in a heated argument, all pent-up frustration and sharp words flying back and forth. she’s furious with him, accusing him of holding back and not giving her everything. he fires back, but there’s this undercurrent of raw desire building, like a storm about to break. then it explodes as he devours her right on the table, hands everywhere, clothes ripping off in the heat of it.”
he flipped the page, reading aloud, painting the scene vividly—
“she shoves him down onto the hard surface, her eyes blazing with command, ‘you can’t just ignore me like this. after all we’ve ben through?’ she demands, trapping him against the table. he grabs her hips, flipping her onto her back in one swift move, but she locks her legs around him, asserting control, ‘start with your mouth between my thighs’ she orders, voice husky and unyielding, ‘lick me until i’m dripping, until you taste how much i own you.’ his head dips low, tongue tracing her inner thighs before diving in, making her arch and gasp. he fingers her deep, curling to hit that spot, drawing out moans that build to screams, her nails raking his scalp as she cries his name.”
he looked up at you, waiting for your reaction.
heat pooled low in your belly as you imagined it but a flicker of envy twisted in your chest at the thought of him doing this with someone else. you leaned in, tracing his jawling, “sounds intense. want to run lines? i could play the part…help you get it right.”
winwin’s eyes sparked with mischief, his large hand sliding to your thigh, “rehearse? now? on the kitchen table, like in scene?”
“why not?” you murmured, pulling him up and leading him there. you swept the counters clear, the wooden surface gleaming under the light, “perfect spot,” you shrug, acting nonchalantly, grabbing the script from his hand and skimming through it.
you noted the buildup: heated words, her pinning him, then him flipping her over to bury his face in her pussy, tongue working her over while she clutches the edge.
“alright, action,” you said, channeling the fiery character and catching your boyfriend off guard. you pushed him back against the table, hands gripping his shirt, “you can’t just ignore me like this. after all we’ve been through?”
winwin chuckles in amusement before a wicked grin replaces his usual shy smile — and then he was playing along seamlessly, his arms wrapping around your waist to yank you close, “what do you want, then? say it.” his breath was hot against your ear, blending script with reality.
you hiked your leg over his hip, pressing into him as your lips crashed together in a fierce kiss. tongues slid and battled, your fingers tugging his shirt up and off, exposing his toned chest, “make me feel it,” you demanded, echoing the lines, grinding against the hardness straining his jeans, “show me how much you need this. need me.”
winwin’s hands roamed, bunching your his oversized t-shirt to your waist before he lifted you onto the table’s edge. your ass hit the cool wood, legs parting instinctively as he dropped to his knees between them.
“like this?,” he growled the words from the page but his gaze was pure hunger, fixed on you.
you nodded, trying to stay in character, reciting the next bit shakily, “yes…touch me, don’t hold back.” your voice wavered as he hooked his fingers in your panties, sliding them down your thighs and tossing them aside. cool air kissed your exposed pussy, already slick with arousal.
he leaned in, breath ghosting over your folds, making you shiver, “you’re so wet for me already," he murmured, not quite the script but close enough.
then his mouth was on you — lips sealing around your clit, sucking gently at first, tongue flicking in quick, teasing strokes, enough to make you forget what you were doing.
“oh—wait….the line is…,” you fumbled, gripping the table’s edge as pleasure jolted through you, the script by your side, “you–you drive me crazy, j-just like that,” but the words blurred as he flattened his tongue, lapping broad and slow from your entrance up to your clit, tasting every inch. his hands gripped your thighs, spreading you wider, thumbs pressing into your inner thighs to hold you open.
you tried to push on, “don’t stop, give me everything,” but it came out as a moan, your hips bucking towards his face.
he hummed against you, clearly enjoying the fact that you can no longer focus. the vibration sends a spark up your spine and he delved deeper, tongue thrusting inside your pussy — wet sounds filled the kitchen, his mouth slurping at your juices, your breaths turning ragged.
by now, the script was forgotten, lines dissolving into gasps. all you could focus on was how fucking good he felt, tongue swirling relentlessly around your clit, sucking harder now, drawing it between his lips.
“winwin…fuck—yes,” you whimpered, one hand tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. your other braced behind you, back arching as waves of heat built in your core.
he didn’t let up, nose bumping your clit while his tongue plunged in and out, fucking you with it in shallow thrusts. his fingers joined, two sliding into your soaked heat, curling up to stroke your walls while his mouth latched back onto your swollen nub. the dual sensation had you trembling, thighs quaking around his head.
“feels so good—baby please—don’t stop,” you babbled, no trace of the character left — just raw need. pressure coiled tight, your pussy clenching around his fingers as he pumped them faster, tongue lasthing your clit in firm circles.
you shattered with a cry, orgasm crashing over you, juices flooding his mouth as you ground against his face, riding it out. winwin lapped you through it, slowing to gentle licks until you slumped back, boneless on the table.
he rose, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “you broke character so quickly,” he teased, a playful, breathless laugh tumbling from him as he reached for you, pulling you into his arms.
“shut up,” you muttered, voice still shaky as you tried to catch your breath, cheeks flushed.
his chest was warm against yours, the steady thump of his heart grounding you in the haze. you met his eyes, that quiet twinge from earlier resurfacing amidst the afterglow, “i can’t believe you have to do all this with your co-star,” you whispered, half-joking but unable to mask the hint of jealousy laced beneath.
he chuckled softly, the sound low and tender as he nuzzled the crook of your neck. his hands smoothed over your sides, tracing lazy circles into your skin until the tension began to melt.
“jealous, baby?” he murmured, pressing a kiss just below your ear, hands smoothing over your sides, tracing slow, lazy circles until your shiver gave you away, “you know it’s just acting.”
“still,” you muttered, trying for indifference and failing miserably.
he grinned against your neck, the vibration of his laugh sending warmth down your spine.
“don’t worry,” he said, kissing the spot just below your ear, his breath tickling, “i just have to make it look like I did all that.”
his lips trailed lower, finding your pulse, sucking lightly until you sighed. “with you,” he murmured between kisses, “it’s the real thing—every lick… every moan… every—”
“oh my god, stop,” you laughed, swatting at his shoulder, your face heating up.
he laughed too, pulling back with mock innocence. “what?!”
“you’re gross,” you countered through your giggles, though the way your fingers curled in his shirt said otherwise.
“gross, huh?” he teased, pinching your chin gently and tipping your face up to meet his, “funny, you didn’t think it was gross five minutes ago.”
“shut up,” you mumbled, trying to hide your grin as you buried your face in his chest.
he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his smile softening into something achingly sweet, then he tilted your chin up, placing a soft kiss on your lips — reminding you that he was all yours.
and just like that, the envy melted into warmth until all that was left was the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear, his arm snug around your waist, and that stupid little smile he only ever wore when it was you in his arms.
✨Pairing: Sicheng x gn!reader
✨Prompt: Just two soulmates finding their way back to each other in seemingly every lifetime.
✨Genre: soulmate au, reincarnation, non idol au, lovers, angst,
🌙Warnings: suicide, death, poisoning, angst let me know if I missed any warnings!!
✨Word count: 5k
☀️Authors note: Yeah I totally sneaked in the line Stoick tells Valka when they meet each other again in httyd 2 simply because I love it so much and it fit so well with the theme of soulmates finding each other again and again. Also I tried my best in researching what people wore in the eras I chose and I'm so sorry if I got anything wrong! I'm no expert and tried my very best to find the correct terms and such!
219 B.C. (Qin Dynasty)
"Sicheng I'm not so sure we're allowed to be here." You mumble as he drags you into the palace gardens, passing by the beautiful ponds with koi fish in them. The night sky reflecting in the water as it ripples lightly due to the movements of the fishes.
"Shhhh I may do as I please and I want to bring my beloved here to show you the most beautiful sight." He says looking back at you with a smile. His hair framing his face beautifully and he looks so wonderful in the dim moonlight.
“You are the Emperors son Sicheng, if they find out you’re out here with me of all people they’d be furious.” You mutter knowing that it would be frowned upon if they found you, a servant, being around the son of the current Emperor of the Qin dynasty in a romantic setting. Sicheng would probably get a scolding while you would be punished harshly for it in ways you don’t even want to think about right now.
“Shhhh my love, do not worry, they will not find out about us I know so because I have made sure of it. Now please relax and wipe that sad look off your face. I do not enjoy seeing my love with such an expression.” He says caressing the left side of your face gently with his hand.
You couldn't help but lean into his gentle hand with a small smile. Perhaps you could relax and trust that he is truthful about that no one will find out. Perhaps Chang'e would keep watch over the two of you from her palace on the moon and allow you to peacefully enjoy each other's presence without being caught.
Sichengs green shenyi shone beautifully against his skin highlighting his status while your white one paled in comparison to his. Further highlighting that the two of you should not be together this intimate.
But who are you to deny what both your hearts desire. The two of you fit together in a way only the gods and goddesses themselves could have created. Ever since the first time you two met it has felt just right. A spark tingling in your fingertips every time you touched even if it was a brief fleeting touch. Destiny had woven both of your life threads together but it also felt cruel, knowing that your love wouldn't be accepted in the eyes of others.
Sicheng was expected to marry someone of a higher rank to maintain his high and respectable status and it would cause an uproar if it came out he wanted to marry a lowly servant. He had made it clear to you many times that he wanted to tell everyone about the love he felt for you. He wanted to be loud and bold and show that nothing could hinder his love for you but you had talked him out of it every single time for the fear of what would happen to him, you and your family if it were to come out.
"Perhaps we should run away, you and me." He whispers as he leans his forehead against yours.
"Run away? Sicheng where would we even go?" You question back, looking into his bight eyes who are looking at you with so much adoration you can't help but melt.
"Anywhere. I could take some of my riches with me and we could go wherever we want. We could start a new life. Just you and me, away from all of this."
"They'd never stop searching for you my love. They wouldn't let the Emperors son get away that easily and you know it. You're so beautiful any one would be a fool to miss seeing you, they'd send word and then we would be separated from each other." You say sadly before looking at him again, holding his hand gently.
"I'm okay with the way things are now if it means I get to know you are alive and well every day. That's enough for me."
"It hurts me every day that I don't get to spend with you. I do not want to live a life filled with misery where I have to wed someone I do not love. You and me are meant to be together until the end of the days of this earth." Sicheng whispered before leaning in again to kiss you slowly.
The two of you continued to spend the night in each others arms under the moonlight, enjoying each others presence and quiet love confessions and murmurs of a shared future was shared between short but loving kisses.
It wasn't until the break of dawn that the two of you separated. You bid your lover farewell and hurried back to the servants quarter as Sicheng made his way to his.
You hope that no one has seen the two of you knowing if someone sees you two it would be over for you. You'd loose your job and quiet possibly your life as well if you were unlucky.
"There you are! Where have you been? It is required for us to go to the great hall of the emperor today." The head of the servants said as you had entered your quarter again and you could feel some anxiety settling into your stomach.
You hadn't been caught had you?
"Have they said what for?" You ask trying to seem unbothered by the fact that they suddenly want you all in the great hall. Perhaps someone had seen the two of you out on your nightly meetings in the garden and told the emperor?
"There are some announcements to be made and rumors has it the emperor knows somethings been going on which he isn't happy about." The head of the servants said with a stony face and it made you gulp as you nodded before hurrying away to change into a new, fresh white shenyi.
The walk to the great hall after the sun had finally taken her rightful place up in the sky was nerve-racking. Slight tremors made their way from your feet all the way up to your hands which you held tightly together as you held them slightly up above your stomach. You and the other servants keep your heads slightly bowed down as to not offend anyone of a higher status as you walked towards your destination.
The grand doors opened and you and the other servants stepped inside before quickly taking your positions at the near end of the room towards the walls so you'd melt in and not take up any more space than necessary. The emperors steely gaze flitted over all of you once you got settled after bowing to him and you could have sworn his eyes looked at you for a bit longer than they did with any of the other servants, which did not help the tremors you felt slowly wrecking through you.
It took a while before the doors opened again and Sicheng waltzed in followed by his escorts. He looked beautiful today, as he always did, his clothing highlighting his beautiful face and those beautiful phoenix eyes of his. You noticed by the way he walked that while he was confident there was a part of him that was unsure.
You wanted so badly to go to him and comfort him but that would only result in something incredibly bad happening.
Taking deep and steady breaths as the silence engulfed the room to the point where it felt suffocating. The energy in the room was filled with uncertainty and worry to the point where small whispers could be heard about what could possibly be happening next. It wasn't until the emperor stood up that the room fell silent again.
"It has come to my attention that someone in this room has ensnared my son into having thoughts of running away from the palace and his life as my heir." The emperors voice was calm and steady as he spoke and you felt your breath hitch at what he was saying, casting a quick glance at your lover you notice the panic in his eyes though his exterior remained calm.
"There is one in this room who has filled his head with thoughts of running away, of abandoning his position and for making him think he's in love." The steely gaze goes through every single person in the room analyzing them all until they land on you, you can't even comprehend that he's looking at you before two guards have taken ahold of your arms from behind forcing you forwards to be in front of the emperor.
"There you are." Is all he says and now Sicheng cannot stop himself.
He steps forward to try and reason with his father but he's held back by other guards.
"Father! Please stop this nonsense! What you have heard is not true." He tries to desperately convince him that there is nothing going on and that you should be left alone but his father does not listen to him.
"You have made my son look away from his duties and made him consider abandoning his destiny and filling his head with ideas that he can do whatever it is he wants." The emperor says coldly and you feel yourself shiver and tremble at what might happen next.
You know you can't say anything to deny it, it would only make things worse. You make the mistake of glancing up towards Sicheng and meeting his eyes makes a single tear escape from your eyes as realization hits you that you will never see him again.
"Take them away. Their life is forfeit." Was all that was said as the guards begins to drag you away and that's when the fear and panic kicks in and you start fighting your way out of their grasps.
Desperate to get to Sicheng one last time.
"Sicheng!!" The guards wrestle with you and you can see the guards holding onto your lover do the same.
"Y/n! My love!" He reaches for you desperately.
"Let go of me this instant! Father please you have to let us go!" Sicheng reaches his hand for you and you stretch yours out as well and the two of you only manages to touch each others fingertips before being ripped away from each other for good.
The spark that was always there when you two touched gave you some sense of comfort as you were dragged away. Calling out for your loved one, hoping and wishing that no matter what happens to you next your beloved would be safe.
That was the last time Sicheng saw you. As the door closed he be-witnessed his loved one, his Y/n, be dragged away seemingly having accepted their fate. He knew what was going to happen to you next and yet he couldn't find it in him to accept it. The tears fell freely from his eyes, his heart breaking as his mind went numb.
You would be gone and he would be forced to live on.
He could not look at his father any more after that moment. He became like a shell, empty and hollow now that his love was gone. Even when he was forced into a marriage he couldn't feel anything.
Sometimes he'd venture out to the gardens during the nights and sit and look up at the moon. Wishing you were with him, sometimes he wondered if this is how the goddess Chang'e felt as she resided on the moon as her beloved Hou Yi didn't reside with her on the moon.
How could he live with this feeling? He knew what had happened to you yet he could not accept it.
"My lord?"
Sicheng looked up from where he was sitting, spotting a servant looking timid and worried, holding something which looked familiar to him.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry if I am disturbing you my lord. It's just... I thought you might have wanted this." The servant walks forward and quickly hands him a pendant.
Your pendant. The pendant he gave you during your first visit together in the garden under the moon.
"This is Y/n's pendant." He murmurs, feeling emotions well up inside of him again.
"Yes, I thought you might want it now that they are no longer alive." The servant said before bidding him farewell.
"My love." Was all he whispered before he broke down again holding the pendant up to his face so he could give it a gentle kiss.
That's when he decided. He no longer wanted to live in a world where he couldn't be with you. He'd rather find you in the next life than live this life without you.
Without much thought he stood up, walking slowly yet gracefully as silent tears fell from his eyes. He walked up to the highest point he could find on the wall surrounding the great palace he resided in.
It was weird. He felt at peace with the decision to take his own life as he stood there looking down at the ground.
"I'll find you soon again my love."
And with that.
He jumped.
545 A.D. (Middle Ages)
"Do you believe in love Y/n?" One of the children in your village asked you as you wandered up to the well to gather some water to bring back to the physician you worked for.
"Oh I don't know. Maybe? Surely everyone is destined to find love at least one time in their life." You tell them as they follow you like a pack of lost puppies wanting some affection and attention.
"Have you found love yet??" A little girl asks looking at you with wide eyes and you can't help but chuckle at that while shaking your head.
"No I haven't. I don't know I don't think I will find love if I'm honest. I'm pretty happy the way my life is now you know." You tell her as you fill your bucket with water and the kids all make varying noises of disappointment, clearly having hoped to hear something else from you.
"Why? You thought I had someone?" You ask them curiously as you turn to walk back to where you work and a chorus of yes! hits you.
"You're pretty and nice so of course you should find love!"
"Aren't you the age to marry someone?"
"If you can't how will I?!"
The kids all talk in the mouth of each other and you snort.
"Well I am certain you guys will find love eventually. Sometimes it just takes time finding the right person you know." You tell them, making sure to emphasize that it's important finding the right person for you and not just fall for any random person.
"But how do you know?"
"I guess you just do when you meet them." You tell them chuckling again. Their questions were really cute and they were curious about pretty much anything, the could listen to you talk about different kinds of weeds you'd use to help treat sickness because you spoke in a way they could understand.
"Well kids, now you have to leave me! I got patients to help after all and we don't want any of you getting potentially sick." You tell them, shooing them away so they wouldn't be in the way or get sick themselves.
"There you are! We got a new patient while you were gone. I need you to look him over as I go get the correct medicine to treat him." The physician tells you as you step inside your quarters.
There on one of the beds lays a man with jet black hair looking very sickly. You take a few steps forward and you notice that he is gorgeous, something within you churns as if you're nervous seeing him. He looks peaceful when you settle down next to him, grabbing a cloth to dab on his face to try and keep his fever down. There is something about him which makes you relax, he seems familiar and you can't help but wish he would open his eyes so you could see them.
You sit with him even when the physician comes back and start working on the medicine for the man. You can't help it, leaving him or the thought of leaving him makes your chest hurt. Could this be love at first sight? Or is it something else?
"I will stay with him until he's fully recovered so you can still go and do your home visits." You tell the man in the corner and he nods, pleased he can still go and help others as you will keep your eyes on the new patient.
You spoke soft words to him as you sat with him day and night. And the more you spoke to him the more your heart grew fond of him. There had even been a point where he had woken up for a little while and when he saw you he had given you the most beautiful smile, murmuring the line It's you, I found you. Before he went back to sleep, the sickness making him more tired than he probably would be normally.
Other times he'd wake up breifly and you were able to feed him, he'd always look at you with those big beautiful eyes, it was as if he couldn't look away and it made your heart flutter. You learned that his name was Sicheng and he was kind, kinder than anyone you'd ever met.
There were nights when he was restless, when he was in pain and he'd whimper and groan looking paler and more sickly instead of looking healthier. What would always make him relax was when you sat with him and held his hand. You'd tell him stories, talk about your day or the latest gossip around town which seemed to help.
He'd always squeeze your hand gently throughout the day, as if to make sure you were still there as he rested.
You had promised you wouldn't leave him but there was one morning when you had to. The physician had told you he needed you to run down to the market to buy some more supplies as he worked on some things for the king.
Reluctantly you left Sichengs side, your heart aching as you left him. It didn't feel right anymore, the only time everything felt like it was how it was supposed to be was when you were with him. You knew you had fallen for the sickly man. All those days spent tending to him, feeding him, talking to him had made you realized you had fallen for him so leaving even for a moment felt awful.
"Hello I need to buy some honey and oregano and thyme today." You told the vendor who quickly wrapped everything you needed and handed it to you in your basket. After you had paid the man you hurried back to your work place.
Eager to see Sicheng again.
But when you enter the place you can see your coworker with a grim face and as you glance towards the bed you see that Sicheng is now covered entirely by the blanket you had put on him.
Meaning only one thing.
"No." You whispered as you look at the bed with wide eyes, almost dropping the basket in the process.
"I'm sorry dear... he did not make it." Is all your coworker say as he turns around to give you some privacy as the tears begin to fall.
You set the basket down and walk up to the bed, sobs can be heard as you sit down leaning your head on his covered stomach gently.
"I should have stayed." You sob as you cannot comprehend that the man you had been caring for, the man you had fallen for, that was so familiar when you first saw him, that filled that empty hole within you were now gone.
"I love you."
1755 (Rococo)
The ball was grand. Nothing like you had been to before, but perhaps that's what you should expect when you're invited to a masquerade ball by the king himself.
The room was filled with bustling energy and no one knew who else would be at the ball. You were hoping that a certain someone would be there.
There was this man who always was at every ball and he seemed to have a knack for finding you no matter where you were in the grand spaces. He'd always find you and you always knew it was him because of his signature bow and the words he always greeted you with.
"My love, may I have this dance?"
You were excited to hear those words again. You wanted nothing more than to dance with him and see if you could find out who he was. You wanted to get to know him more than you already did.
Taking another sip of the wine that had been served to you, you made a face at the taste of it. It tasted a bit weird but perhaps it was just a kind of wine you were not used to.
That was probably it you thought as you finished the entire glass, setting it down at a table as you begin to slowly walk around. Looking for where your man might possibly be. Yes, perhaps you had grown a little possessive over him, but you couldn't help it. He always looked for you, never entertained anyone else in the room even when many tried to speak to him or ask him to dance he always declined and went to you.
The music was lovely as it gently danced around the room, people already waltzing around on the ballroom floor in a graceful coordinated dance.
"My love, may I have this dance?" You heard his voice from behind you and when you turned around there he was, in a beautiful suit in the most vibrant of blues with gold details. His mask decorated in blue and gold as well as he held out his hand for you to take.
"You may." You say with a smile as you put your hand into his and he gently leads you onto the floor. Positioning your hand on his shoulder as he places one on your hip.
"Just follow my lead, I won't let you fall." He tells you with a smile as you two begin to twirl around.
"You know I was starting to think you wouldn't find me." You tell him as he dances with you.
"Oh I will always find you, no matter where you might be." He says, eyes twinkling beautifully under the light casted by the candles around in the room.
It was as if time slowed down when you danced with him. Everything else faded into the background as you focused on him. It felt so right, so serene and complete.
"You need to tell me your name some day so we can meet outside of these balls." You tell him, praying he will agree so you two can meet up more often.
You could honestly envision yourself living until the end of your days with him. Marrying, growing old, perhaps one day have kids if the two of you wanted that.
"I've been waiting for you to tell me that my dear, I didn't want to come on to strong by asking to see you outside of these balls if you weren't interested in me that way." He tells you, relieved that his love, even if you might not realize who he is, wants to be with him the same way he wants to be with you.
As he spins you around you start feeling a bit dizzy. This has never happened before when you've danced and just as you're about to tell him that you should stop, you collapse into his arms.
"My love! Are you alright?" He asks worriedly as he holds you. He looks you over wondering what could be wrong. It is then he notices the sickly color on your face.
Sicheng can feel the color drain from his eyes as he realizes what's happening. He had seen this before. You must have been poisoned and now you're dying quickly. The dread he feels as your breathing starts to become shallow and weaker is like the first time he lost you.
"No... HELP! PLEASE WE NEED A DOCTOR." He shouts loudly and people around him gasps as the reality of the situation kicks in.
He can see others stepping away from the food and drinks as they surround the two of you just staring. No one seems to be helping or getting someone who can.
"DON'T JUST STAND THERE GET A DOCTOR PLEASE! THEY'RE DYING! MY LOVE IS DYING PLEASE." He shouts again, desperate.
He can't lose you again. Last time he died because he was sick and now you're dying. He had promised himself he'd protect you and he couldn't do that in this life.
"Sir they're dead." Someone from the crowd said as they pointed to you.
Sicheng looks down and sees that you've stopped breathing. He pushes his ear to your chest trying to hear your heartbeat but he hears nothing.
"No. No no no please." He whimpers and the onlookers look at him with sympathy.
It is clear to everyone in the room that he loved you more than life its self. His sobs and the way he holds your dead body close is the proof of that.
"I'm sorry my love, please, I'm sorry, come back to me, please." He whispers over and over, hoping that somehow, someway he can get you back.
But in the end you don't respond.
You're dead and there is nothing he can do to bring you back.
2025 (Modern)
It had happened several nights in a row now for it to not be a coincidence. You'd wake up from a dream and in that dream there would always be a man. You don't know him, or at least you don't think you do but yet he seems so familiar to you.
Every time you see him in your dream you relax, it's as if all your worries are washed away when he is near you. Sometimes he got long hair and beautiful, flowing clothing. Sometimes his hair is shorter and he's wearing regal clothing and sometimes he's wearing what looks to be garments of someone who is a healer.
And the one thing that is consistent in each and every dream you have no matter what era your brain seems to have conjured up he always looks at you with such kind eyes. As if you hold the entire world in his eyes. There is so much love and adoration in his eyes that you want to melt.
Sometimes he talks to you but you can never hear his voice apart from a mere whisper in the wind. It's so familiar yet you've never actually heard his voice before.
You once told your friend about this and she had laughed and said that you must be lonelier than you thought and wishing for a boyfriend since your brain is conjuring up a boy in different lifetimes that seems to always want to be with you.
Perhaps you were lonely? You always told yourself you were okay with being single, owning your cat was more than enough even though sometimes you deep down yearned for a partner. But every time you tried to go on a date it never felt right, you'd get this pain in your chest as if the person you were seeing wasn't the one for you and you'd always leave feeling empty, as if a part of you were missing and no matter what you did nothing could heal that empty feeling.
The only time you'd ever felt completely whole was when you saw that man in your dreams. No matter what era he was in it felt right, as if you were destined to be with him.
Perhaps you were? If you believed in things like soulmates and maybe others would laugh at you if you ever admitted it but you believed that there was such a thing as soulmates. There had to be. Two souls which love each other so much they cannot help but search for each other in every life time until they can be with each other and be whole again.
As you were walking down the street, just wandering, your eyes watching a couple on the other side of the street you bumped into someone almost falling onto your butt had the stranger not caught you.
"Oh I'm sorry I wasn't looking where I was go-" Your voice trailed off as you looked up at the stranger.
It was him. The man in your dreams. The prince, the sick patient, the man at the masquerade ball.
He looked at you as if you had hung the stars and you felt it, the spark that ignited your entire body as his fingertips touched yours. It felt as if your entire body was on fire and only one thing was on your mind.
"Sicheng." You mumbled out looking at him as memories came flooding back. Your lover, he had found you, he always found you. The tears of relief welled up into your eyes quicker than you had anticipated as you reached up with a shaky hand to touch his cheek.
To make sure he was real and not a fragment of your imagination.
His cheek was warm and he leaned into your hand as you gently caressed his cheek. A low hum escaping him as he enjoyed feeling your gentle touch once again after so many years of searching for you.
"It's you. It's really you my love." You whimper giving him a smile through your tears and his eyes glisten with unshed tears as he understands.
You remember him. You know it's him. His own hand engulfs yours and he brings yours close to his mouth so he can give it a gentle kiss, his adoring eyes never leaving you. Soaking up the view of you in front of him. Looking at him with nothing but love.
He leans closer to you, his forehead resting on yours as he whispers quietly, only for you to hear:
synopsis. love and sicheng don't complement each other. despite being aware of that fact, it doesn’t stop you from coming back again and again, even if your set-up consumes you. or, sicheng and you are in an on and off situationship because he’s afraid of commitment.
genre. angst, romance (if there's any LOL), situationship
warnings. excessive use of the word "manager", reader wears contacts at some point, they have UNSPOKEN FEELINGS (mainly sicheng), industry pressure, toxic relationship (i mean, situationship </3)
words. 5,882
eternal sunshine. masterlist
it started on a red carpet, where you’d been cornered by a journalist asking about your upcoming album. sicheng was standing nearby, his black suit sharp and his gaze sharper. when he glanced your way, it felt like the world shifted. later, you found yourself seated next to him at an afterparty, where the conversation flowed like an unscripted duet.
“so, do singers always write about their own heartbreaks?” he teased, a faint smirk playing on his lips.
“only the memorable ones,” you replied, meeting his eyes with a challenge of your own and a smile that could melt the world.
you didn’t know it then, but he’d leave you with more than enough material.
it’s been two weeks since that interaction you’ve had with the industry’s most sought after actor. you’ve heard all the good things about sicheng. how he’s shy in real life and he’s cool on camera. but you believed that that simply can’t be true.
but you also believed he’s hot and now you’re here, composing a song while thinking about that small interaction with him. you don’t know where this song would go or if this would even be published, but one thing’s for sure: no one would even know that this song is for him.
“then i had this interaction i’ve been thinking about for like five weeks,” your manager read your lyrics, cringing at them after. “what the hell is this, y/n?”
“what? a girl can’t love or something?” you sighed, putting your ballpen down and waiting for another comment about the song you’re writing. “it’s about the guy.”
“yeah! i know it’s about the guy. and i’m pretty sure that you know that if you get tangled with him, the scandal is going to be big, right?” your manager sighed. you can tell that just by thinking about how much paperworks and apology letters you guys are gonna write, if ever, if ever you and sicheng ‘would’ have some romantic escapade, your manager’s hair would wither and he’d definitely not appreciate that.
“it’s just a song! and i don’t stand a chance with that big star. he’s probably dating an a-lister actress or something,” you replied. “like probably… he’s dating that lead actress of eternal sunshine! the nepo baby! y’know… their chemistry’s unmatched,”
“ooh, yeah! i’m actually excited to watch that series because i’ve seen the interviews! oh my god they look so good together,” this time, your manager sat beside you, gushing about how sicheng and his lead partner look good together and how much he thinks that eternal sunshine would be a hit.
“now you’re making me sad,” you pouted, the thought of not having a chance with a big shot actor hurts you more than not winning song of the year against iu. “i even made the title track of their series based off of the story and some real life happenings in the set,” you grinned, ready to tell your manager the tea you got off of the set of eternal sunshine back when you were invited by the director.
you weren’t able to see sicheng before because he had other gigs, but the rest of the cast were there, filming the other scenes that didn’t require the actor.
“you know, oppa, i mean… who am i kidding? everyone knows qian kun, right?” you started to over exaggerate, “apparently, he likes the director! and everyone in the set knows it… and the director’s kinda shy about it.”
“honestly? if the golden boy qian kun likes me? i’ll marry him immediately.”
“if it were you. but the director feels a bit insecure because kun’s perfect and all. but i do believe they look good together!”
“and how did you get this information?”
“liu yangyang. eternal sunshine’s second male lead, the one who’s gonna get dumped in the end,” you stopped the sentence but your manager knew you’re about to dump the biggest, scandalous tea about the man, “but in real life, i heard he dumped dong sicheng’s lead partner.”
“if i’m being honest? sicheng and that nepo baby’s chemistry is better than yangyang’s and her. but i do see some reason why they would hit off.”
“no, oppa. you don’t get it, do you?” you sighed, “yangyang worked his ass off in this industry, the nepo baby got it because of her parents! sure, she acts well… but y’know, their vision in life might be different… maybe that’s why they didn’t become a real couple,”
“how about hendery? is he really handsome in person?” your manager curiously asked, “i heard he’s a real asshole.”
“damn right, he is! that man didn’t even acknowledge me nor the staff! he just went straight to the student nurse who was interning during the film to get some paracetamols i’m pretty sure he doesn’t need,”
“so, hendery’s hot and an asshole. got it,”
“and dejun… we made eye contact but that’s really it! he’s so afraid of human touch. but he’s so handsome too. even more handsome than hendery and i can feel that he treats everyone nicely, he’s just afraid of being too close,”
“you got all these crazy juices just from one visit on the set and it was enough for you to write eternal sunshine. your talent scares me sometimes,” you can’t really tell if your manager was complimenting you or is weirded out by how well you remember the facts the staff have told you during your time inside the set as well as your own perceptions of every actor in it but you’d take it positively because you do agree that eternal sunshine has some interesting talents in it.
“oh! before i forget, you know that award-winning photojournalist, right? ten lee? apparently, he’s exes with sicheng’s makeup artist and his award-winning piece was a picture of her when they were still together! that’s the kind of part i got inspired to write eternal sunshine, as well as the storyline.”
“they’re not together now?”
“yeah, but it’s so weird because you can feel the tension and i think it’d be even weirder now because they’re wrapping up the first season and ten has to get the interesting bits while the makeup artist has to make sure sicheng is the interesting bit.”
“i can tell that you enjoyed your time there, y/n. but you better not tell anyone these or they will be in deep trouble.”
“i know! i just had to let it out to you because i know you love those actor rumours and stuff,” you rolled your eyes to your manager, already used to him warning you about getting in trouble from time to time.
when he left, you immediately continued composing your song about you and sicheng’s interaction, acting like it went to something even more special.
“i hope i can see him again…” you took a deep breath, looking at the paper you’re writing on, wishing to see and talk to him again.
you heard whispers that sicheng would attend the music festival you were headlining in but you never really took it seriously, considering the busy schedules he probably have because of eternal sunshine. but deep down, you wished he would come and see you perform… maybe he’d talk to you again and maybe he’d be interested in you.
as the sun was setting over the vibrant landscape of the music festival, you stood at the stage, taking a deep breath before looking into the crowd. of course, you were admiring your fans who came all the way from different cities just to see you but you were also hoping to see him. and that, you did.
you could swore it was the most romantic thing ever because he was also looking into your eyes and when your orbs met? you saw a glint of something behind his glance… or maybe it was just your contacts.
the music started and you sang one of your greatest hits, everytime, pouring your heart and soul into performing because it’s a song that you can definitely relate to now. ‘i hope he remembers me,’ you thought while singing, hyping the audience up to sing with you.
“why, oh why does god keep bringing me back to you?” you sang looking directly at sicheng who’s also looking at you with something you can’t put into words. you couldn’t really tell what it is that you saw in his eyes when you were performing because he’s with his friends a bit farther on the stage but at least, you could see him.
after your performance, your manager quickly led you to your dressing room where your staff quickly went near you to take off some of the heavy makeup, replacing it with some blush and lip balm so you could comfortably watch and enjoy the festival.
“y/n, change into this outfit,” one of the staff said, giving you an outfit that is extremely better than the ones you have right now. you just nodded in agreement before going to the comfort room where you changed.
“feel comfortable now?” your manager asked, giving you a water bottle. “i saw sicheng watching you! he looks so into your performance earlier, y/n,” he added.
you could tell he was teasing you but you didn’t care. you performed your best out there because he was watching.
“it was just eye contact, oppa,”
before your manager could respond back to you, a familiar figure towered you from behind and judging his reaction, it was the person you least expect to be in your dressing room right now.
“oh, sicheng! what brings you here?”
“can i talk to y/n?” his voice was humble, gentle, and comforting. you could melt then and there when you felt his breath from your back.
your manager gave you a reassuring smile, patted your shoulder, before giving the room all to you and sicheng.
‘this is it,’ you thought. the man you’ve been crushing over for at least a month now, behind you. now, you guys are alone in your dressing room but you can’t even try to look at him without feeling nervous.
“hi, y/n,” he started.
“sicheng! so glad to see you here! i almost thought you forgot about me,” you sheepishly blabbered. this time, you faced him.
and you almost died.
the man standing in front of you is the hottest human being ever and people around you would definitely agree if you told them that sicheng is not just a random actor. he is the actor.
“you were great out there,” he smiled, “it’s one of my favorite songs of yours,”
“i’m glad you like it! i had fun writing it last year,”
he leaned against the wall, looking relaxed yet attentive. “so, which one of your exes inspired you to write that?” he caught you off-guard with his teasing remark, reminding you of your first encounter with each other.
“what’s with you and my exes? are you interested in them?”
“i’m just curious how they fumbled someone like you,” he shot back with a charming smile.
“flattery won’t get you anywhere, sicheng,” you laughed and tried to shake off what he had just said. “some things just don’t work out, you know,”
sicheng just nodded to what you have just said, “try it with me?”
this time, you scoffed, “you’re an actor, i’m a singer. that’s like… a recipe for disaster.”
“i’d be in any disaster as long as i’m with you, y/n,” he retorted, eyes staring deeply into your orbs as he waited for your response.
“whatever, sicheng,” you rolled your eyes, smiling lightly before your manager entered your dressing room again.
when your manager entered the room, you looked into sicheng’s direction, as if to signal that his time with you is over and he took that as a sign to give you a short farewell.
“see you soon, y/n,” was all he said before vanishing into the endless hallways of the festival’s backstage.
your manager’s looking at you with that stupid grin on his face, “so? what happened here and why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost? you got turned off or what?”
“woah there, buddy. calm down with those questions, will you?”
but he couldn’t really stop smiling from your interaction with sicheng again. afterall, these days you’ve been thinking about the actor nonstop.
“he wanted me to try to play the game of love with him. to be in a relationship with him, i guess?” this time, your manager smiled even wider, waiting for you to continue. “stop looking at me like a creepy man,”
“you know what this means right, y/n?” he started, “to have one of the most popular actors talk to you after your performance,”
“yeah dude, it means they want to get in my pants!” you replied annoyingly.
“or you could’ve maintained the innocent route and answered, ‘oh! it means he’s interested in me!’” your manager mocked your voice to prove a point with both of his index and middle finger doing the air quote-unquote symbol.
“i know…” you whined, “but what if we won’t work out? what if we end up like those songs i wrote about heartbreaks?”
but your manager could only give you a reassuring tap on your shoulder, “then write another song about it,”
your manager is actually right.
at this point in time, you might write another song about a heartbreak. it’s been months now, since that dressing room interaction with sicheng and after it, you found yourself entangled with the actor. in every place you never thought about, actually!
“still waiting for him?” the lead actress asked you.
right, you’re in the filming site right now, waiting for sicheng because he told you to come to his apartment later. you decided it was better for the both of you to come at the same time so as to prevent suspicion from the public eye. afterall, your manager is already stressed when you inform him about the situation with sicheng now.
“yeah, i am. how’s the filming going?” you tried to make a short conversation with the lead actress. even though the public has said countless bad comments about her, she’s actually nice and easygoing. and easygoing in a sense that this girl has probably never seen a bad guy in her life!
“sicheng’s been acting grumpy nowadays. i think it has to do with his dating rumour with karina,” she started, sitting beside you. “you know how those idol-actor rumour goes,”
you nodded. of course, you do know how those go considering you’ve had countless rumours with many men, some of them you didn’t know even existed. but sicheng’s is different because his company keeps on pushing him to do it, telling him it’s ‘good’ publicity.
before you and the lead actress of eternal sunshine could continue your conversation, sicheng and yangyang came into the picture. the latter gave you a gummy smile whilst signalling the lead actress to follow him. you assumed they have made up and are now in a relationship but you could only assume, sicheng doesn’t tell you stuff.
“let’s go,” sicheng gave you a half-smile before leading you to his van where yuta, his manager, has been waiting for the both of you.
“hello, yuta,” you greeted politely.
“hi, y/n. sorry if it took long for sicheng to wrap up tonight, it’s an important scene that the director wants to finish immediately,”
“you don’t need to tell her that, hyung. y/n understands, right?” the actor looked into your direction, giving you his charming smile.
you smiled back, giving him the satisfaction.
you will definitely write a song about this.
it’s never ending, honestly. your nights with sicheng in his apartment. him cuddling you to sleep while helping you write lyrics then you begging him to spoil eternal sunshine just for the man to smirk at your pleading face before telling you to go to sleep.
it’s those nights that made you stay with what you guys have but on mornings, you would wake up alone in his bed, leaving you wondering where he might have gone.
on the first night he had left you alone, you waited until lunch for him to come home but he never did. you only realized that he had come to another filming site when your manager called you, worrying where’d you went the night before. then it happened again and again, urging you to tell your manager what really is happening but you couldn’t give an answer because the two of you haven’t talked about what you guys have right now.
“it’s been hard, oppa,” you started, sighing on the way home the next morning after your encounter with sicheng and yuta last night. “i can’t believe i’m letting him do this to me,”
“why don’t you ask him about your status? you just can’t keep on waking up alone in that bed if you guys have something going on,”
“i don’t want to pressure sicheng, especially now when things start to get stressful in his work,”
your manager sighed in disbelief, closing his eyes in disappointment to what you have just said. “you’re preparing for an album too, y/n. things are also stressful on your side,”
“he’s an actor, he has more things to think about than what we are,”
you try to convince yourself that everything is okay. his texts grew shorter, his calls less frequent. hell, he rarely invites you on set. but when he’s with you? it was like he was a different person. soft, attentive, and present. he would make you dinner and tell you you’re the prettiest thing on earth, only to be left behind the morning after.
mornings with sicheng are nonexistent. it made you feel used, unloved, and sad. but asking him your label is more humiliating. you’re afraid of putting things into his mouth, afraid he might lose interest in you if you’ve ever asked him about the two of you.
you’re afraid to be too much for him.
but you’re only human and he’s pushing you to the edge now. you’ve been overwhelmed with your recording session earlier and sicheng has not replied to any of your messages, even after you finished recording–your phone still had no sign of him seeing your chats and replying to you.
after the grueling session with your manager inside the recording studio, you immediately left him to go at sicheng’s apartment, even if there’s a risk of getting caught by paparazzis. you just can’t help it now, you’re getting suffocated and confused and hurt. you’re getting every feeling you are not supposed to feel when in love.
you rang his doorbell for the nth time until a sleepy sicheng opened the door.
“do you even care about this?” if you weren’t tired and mad, you would’ve melted at his appearance now but your voice was trembling and your legs were shaking as he left you inside his apartment.
“what kind of question is that, y/n?” his voice was sleepy but his tone was defensive.
“the kind i have to ask because you never let me in,” now, your frustration is spilling over and your mind is not working right. “i’m always the one chasing you, sicheng! aren’t you tired of running from me? haven’t you thought about what i feel?”
for a moment, you thought he might say something to ease the ache in your chest. instead, he sighed and turned his back on you. “this is who i am, y/n. you agreed to be linked with someone like me in the first place. if i’m not enough for you, maybe you should leave,”
the first break up was messy (like the other ones that followed). you tried to convince yourself that it was a mutual one but your manager, and everyone around you, didn’t believe you.
you remember the way back home, your manager picking you up crying at sicheng’s apartment parking lot. he bit his lip and ran his fingers through his hair before picking you up, telling you to shush and calm down but you never did. all you did that night was cry and ask your manager if you were not enough.
when your mind was kind of cleared, you realized that maybe distancing yourself to sicheng is for the better. afterall, you both had your careers and responsibilities. maybe being with an actor is really a disaster.
but the break up didn’t last like how you expected it to do. a few weeks later, he showed up to your apartment, which also counts as the first time he went there, after his schedule. he didn’t greet you with his calm and comforting demeanor like the first time, he was cold and unreadable–distant but pleading.
“i shouldn’t be here,” he admitted as you told him to come inside, “but i couldn’t stay away,”
and just like that, you were back in the loop. nights that felt like promises and mornings that broke you all over again.
“are you sure about this, y/n?” your manager oppa asked you.
“yeah! i feel him changing for the better, oppa,” you smiled brightly, eyes scanning the setlist for your upcoming concert.
“waking up with him beside you doesn’t count as change, y/n! you still haven’t asked him about what you guys are!” he scolded but you avoided his glance.
the truth is, you did. you asked again. it was inside your apartment this time. it was around december, when everything felt cold outside but inside felt even colder.
your head in sicheng’s lap as the both of you watched the latest episode of eternal sunshine. he was watching your reaction as kun’s character was being teased by the lead actress and hendery.
“sicheng,” you called.
“hmm?”
“are you ready?” you asked. unlike the last time where you had the guts to confront him, you didn’t have the courage to do so that night. you were afraid of what he had to say but you wanted to ask. you had to ask him.
“y/n…” he started, he was caressing your hair as if to comfort you but deep inside, you know it’s his conscience eating him up, “i’m sorry,”
you shouldn’t have asked.
it was humiliating but you can’t help the tears streaming down sicheng’s pajamas. you were crying while still in his lap. but what made you hurt more was him, raising the volume of the television just so he couldn’t hear you aching because of him.
you fell asleep with an achy heart that night. the day after, sicheng distanced himself from you, feeling ashamed of what he did. you guys did break up again that time but you didn’t have the guts to tell your manager because, like what you expected, the both of you reconciled again.
and then broke up, once more.
when eternal sunshine’s director invited you to the set again, you were hesitant to come but your manager encouraged you to do so, saying something along the lines of ‘face your fears’ or something.
“hello, y/n! long time no see!” the director beamed at your presence, “i told sicheng to bring you here anytime but he never did! your presence is missed deeply,”
“oh… we kinda broke up,” you sheepishly said, the atmosphere now awkward. before the director could apologize, you quickly added “it’s not like there’s something to ‘break’ ‘cause there was never an us in the first place… but y’know,”
she gave you a sad smile, “it didn’t work out, huh?”
“he didn’t work it out with me,”
it was true. you tried your best to understand sicheng but every break up you guys had also made him even distant. sure, he was better than the first one–he would kiss your cheek, make you dinner and breakfast but everything felt empty. as if he was doing all those stuff to keep you to stay.
“anyways,” the director cleared her throat, “i called you here because i wanted to talk about the album you’re doing for season 1 and 2. i assume your manager has told you to have it finished by the exact time the last episode of season 1 airs?”
you nodded. even during the second break up that your manager didn’t know, he made you aware of the album situation with eternal sunshine. the ost you made became a hit that everyone is demanding another song from you for the series however, both parties agreed that an album would be beneficial for you and the drama.
you couldn’t say no to your manager, especially when he looked so ecstatic telling you about the opportunity. music was your escape, but during those times it was tying you even closer to the man you couldn’t let go of.
making an album for the drama also includes you visiting the set just so you could get the vibes, to make it as close to the characters as possible.
“y/n-ssi! dejun made cookies and he said this is for you,” qian kun warmly acknowledged your presence before giving you the cookies dejun had made, “he said it’s for you. he hopes that he can cheer you up with these,”
“oh, thank you, kun! i hope to see him next time to give thanks personally,” you gladly accepted the cookies and yangyang joined in your conversation.
“that won’t happen, noona! dejun always disappears after his scenes so he’s not really close to anyone except the cast,” yangyang butted in, picking a cookie from your stash. “yum!”
“yangyang!” kun tried to scold the younger man but he already dashed off to where the director was, discussing the next scene.
“have you tried to make a move on the director yet, kun?” you teased, knowing that he had been trying to make a move, it’s just that the director keeps on dodging his advances.
“trust me, y/n. i’ve been trying,” he sounded so helpless you almost saw you in him, when you were still a mess. “he’s coming,”
kun warned you but it couldn’t prepare you to see sicheng again, after a month. you vividly remember that time when you guys reconciled but called it off again after a week. this is the first time you’re seeing him again as you were determined to not meet him when visiting the filming site.
“long time no see, y/n-ssi,”
and it hurt you more than the break ups you had with him.
the album, also titled eternal sunshine, became your most personal work. each track was a piece of your heart laid bare as well as the cast’s personal stories they had disclosed to you, but one song in particular, don’t wanna break up again, resonated louder than the rest. it was raw. it was everything you wanted to say put into a song. every lyric was a plea you can’t say aloud.
when the album was released alongside the last episodes of the series, it was an instant hit. interviews came pouring in, but the questions were never just about the music. everyone wanted to know who the music was for.
“so, y/n! it’s been so long!” the host greeted you, “the song, don’t wanna break up again, is incredibly emotional! everyone was hooked! can you possibly tell us what inspired you to write such a heart wrenching song?”
you hesitated for a moment, your chest tightening. a particular name was aching to be let out by your mouth but you swallowed it down. you smiled forcefully, like what the management had trained you before when you were still a trainee. “it’s about loving someone who pushes you into your limit, thinking you’re too much for them,” you said every word carefully, “that even though they’re making you feel all the bad stuff, you still hold onto them–like a cycle of losing and wanting,”
“sounds personal,” the interviewer teased, wanting to pry just a little more. “is it based on your own experience?”
your throat felt dry, but you gracefully replied, “i think it’s fitting for eternal sunshine, actually! but i think everyone’s been through something like that,”
but not everyone had a sicheng. not everyone had nights where love was promised and mornings where it shattered into pieces.
the thing you have been dreading to happen, happened. your fans caught up to everything. the media caught up.
the speculation began online after the wrapping up press conference of the cast where they were singing your album’s tracks. the part where they were singing don’t wanna break up again trended like wildfire that everyone talked about for weeks… because they were singing it straight into sicheng’s face.
clues were pieced together. from your social media posts, sicheng’s cryptic interviews, to his unusual behavior while everyone was singing your song.
to your fans, it made total sense. this was your most personal album and everything you and sicheng had been saying on your separate interviews during the ‘plotted’ timeline, as what they have been saying on x, connected with each other.
“GUYS! do you remember when sicheng was wearing a hoodie oddly similar to y/n’s and then us finding out it was custom-made?” one fan tweeted, garnering thousands of likes.
“‘we both know this time, so we say goodbye’ y/n REALLY got in the studio, wrote THIS, and thought we wouldn’t figure it out. sis, you played yourself,” another one butted in.
“‘this situationship has to end but i just can't refuse’ i KNOW this line has sicheng pacing around his living room rn. he’s probably listening to it on repeat like the rest of us but for HIM it’s personal.”
“this is bad, y/n! everyone’s linking you to sicheng,” stress is an understatement if you were to describe your manager right now, answering calls and texts here and there.
“if this was months ago, i would’ve loved all of these, won’t i?” you teased, remembering the time you imagined your manager’s hair withering from the stress a dating scandal with sicheng would bring him, not thinking it would become real.
soon, you and sicheng became a hot topic together, with the netizens creating video edits pairing scenes from eternal sunshine with snippets of your performances. every lyric from that song of yours was scrutinized, with don’t wanna break up again becoming the anthem of the speculation.
it was only a matter of time a fearless journalist popped the question, “your fans are convinced that the song is about a certain actor. do you have any comments on that?”
that wasn’t part of the question list they have submitted on your management prior to this interview so you were taken a back. you looked at the side to see your manager’s eyebrows knitted together, completely disappointed to the journalist. “i think art speaks for itself, it’s up for the listener to interpret it,” you replied, giving the journalist a kind smile.
“but doesn’t it make you uncomfortable, knowing that everyone is connecting your song to someone specific?” it seems like a kind smile won’t falter this journalist’s pressing questions.
“heartbreak is universal. the details don’t matter as much as the emotions,”
behind close doors, however, the attention was harder to ignore. your team advised you to avoid addressing the rumours and apologized for the inconvenience the journalist had caused earlier.
“it’s fine, it’s not like everyone expected for that to happen,” brushing off their concern.
despite the media buzzing over the possible ‘biggest’ dating rumour ever in the industry, sicheng and his management remained silent. it stung you deeply, for him, someone you loved dearly, to not go against his management rules and defend you. but what’s there for him to defend about?
his management, so quick to fabricate a public romance with karina to boost his movie, now met the storm with a calculated indifference. no denial, no defense–just the old school silence, hoping it will die down after a day or so. as if you were just a fleeting rumour unworthy of their acknowledgement.
sadly, the buzz grew when photos surfaced of the two of you entering sicheng’s apartment. you think it was that night when you were overwhelmed with everything that you just stormed out of your recording booth to ask him. thankfully, the photo didn’t show you and sicheng’s face but with the silhouette? it was clear that it was the both of you.
one evening, after another press junket, you found yourself face-to-face with sichang again. he’d been avoiding you per his management’s request but here he is, leaning against the wall of your dressing room.
it was like the first meeting again. when he asked you out.
“the album,” he started. his voice was softer than you expected, making you remember the nights where he’d sing to you, “it’s beautiful,”
you forced a smile, “thank you,” your tone was neutral, “i guess heartbreak makes good music,”
his jaw tightened, “you think i don’t know?”
this time, you tried your best not to let out a sarcastic laugh, “do you?” you were challenging him, stepping closer to feel his aura deteriorating, “because you made sure it never stops,”
for a moment, sicheng didn’t say anything and you thought he’d run away from you again. then, quietly, “i never wanted to hurt you, y/n,”
“but you did, sicheng!” your voice was full of ache, “and you kept on doing it. every time, sicheng… i think i’ve moved on and then you pull me back in. i thought you were getting better but you didn’t. i thought i was too much for asking what we had, you know? you made me feel bad for demanding things that shouldn’t been demanded in the first place,”
he tried to touch your cheek, noticing a tear falling down your eye but you stepped back, “i’m sorry, y/n,”
you shook your head, “just stop, sicheng. please?”
the final break up, or the closure (like what your manager likes to call it), wasn’t loud or dramatic. it was quiet, mature, and comforting. it was like a song fading out. the first weeks, he kept on calling, begging you to stay by his side but you know that if you did, you’ll be back in the cycle that favors him the most, the type where you lose yourself in the process.
so, you stopped answering his calls and eventually, he stopped making them.
the world never really moved on from you and sicheng but the speculations died down. in the end, your album and the series’ excellence were praised by everyone without bringing up the scandalous romantic escapade you had with sicheng.
late at night, when you stared out at the city lights, the memories still lingered, soft yet cutting. despite knowing how disastrous it was to love him, you had returned again and again, hoping for something more… something that he wasn’t ready to give you despite him telling you to try it with him.
and in the end, you let him slip through your fingers, even as your heart begged you to hold on just one more time. because beneath the longing for his touch and warmth, you know it had to end at some point.
COMING UP NEXT. “yangyang worked his ass off in this industry, the nepo baby got it because of her parents! sure, she acts well… but y’know, their vision in life might be different… maybe that’s why they didn’t become a real couple,”
summary: acting alongside your rival was supposed to be just another one of the competitions you play out in your mind, but after a brief heated moment between the two of you, you began to question your true feelings toward him.
a/n: @winwintea..... i'm finally here, pookie.... im like, so so so so so sorry it took sooooo long for me to finally finish this. but i put a lot of love care blood sweat and tears on it, i hope you like it, if you dont, then ill disappear from earth and no one will ever see me again 😫
cw: smut, fluff, more of one-sided rivals to situationship, alcohol mention and consumption, fingering, edging, unprotected sex.
with a frustrated huff, you sank into the chair, allowing the makeup artist to work their magic. the studio was filled with an almost tangible tension, as everyone seemed to expect a blow-out fight between you and sicheng at any moment.
it’s been a constant issue since the start of filming this drama. working on the same project as your long-time rival sicheng has made every day stressful, the constant tension and friction have made filming the drama a more difficult and uncomfortable experience for everyone involved.
the undeniable chemistry between you and sicheng on camera despite the constant tension backstage has led to the difficulty of finding another pair to match your on-screen chemistry. as the main characters of the drama, the romantic aspect of the show requires a certain level of connection and synchronization that only you two seem to possess, as ironic as it may sound.
but today, the prolonged shoot further strained everyone on the set, not only due to the physical exhaustion, but also the weight of the tense atmosphere that loomed over everyone. the frustration and fatigue were palpable, and the constant back and forth between you and sicheng only added to the mounting pressure.
the problem was the dreaded kissing scene. despite everyone’s expectations, you and sicheng can’t do it — and unfortunately, you’re the only one to blame. every time the distance between your faces closes, you instinctively pull away, much to everyone’s frustration.
“um, excuse me,” the staff member poked her head into the dressing room and announced, "the director said it's getting late, and it would be best to continue tomorrow, so… everyone is dismissed for today,” she gave a small, apologetic smile before closing the door gently.
"of course this would happen," you mutter under your breath, trying to contain your frustration. you dismiss the makeup artist with a polite nod, then tilt your head back in irritation as you let out a heavy sigh.
“can you please calm down a little, boss?” your assistant, haneul, places a cup of hot chocolate in front of you and steps into your view, her voice gentle as she pleads with you.
you glare at her and snap, "don't ask me to calm down when i’m perfectly calm, haneul,” grabbing the drink, you take a big sip before continuing. "dong sicheng is such an idiot.”
haneul lets out a deep sigh, rolling her eyes at your response. "he might be an idiot, but you're not much better when you act like this all the time," she says, crossing her arms. "just suck it up, get the scene done, and then you can go back to hating each other."
her firm words cause you to flinch, and you allow your shoulders to drop, acknowledging her point. you're aware that you've been more irritating than usual lately, and her straightforward approach hits home.
you sigh, slumping into the chair and admit, "i know, i know. i'm sorry. i'm just in a really bad mood today. everything is going wrong, and sicheng... i just want to punch that annoying face of his so bad.”
haneul couldn't help but chuckle, her eyes crinkling in amusement as they watched you scrunch your face like you had just tasted something sour.
"you two should get a room," her tone was playful, yet there was an underlying suggestion in her voice that betrayed her mischievous thoughts.
"what?!" you exclaimed, your voice tinged with disbelief and shock, you were offended even. the mere thought of having something like that with sicheng gave you the creeps.
haneul continued with a sly smile on her face, her tone now tinged with a hint of amusement, "i’m just saying," she began, "that we can all see the tension between you two. it's like you're just waiting for the moment to pounce on each other."
"is that your way of asking to be fired, huh?" your eyebrows raising slightly out of disbelief. "cut the nonsense – where the hell did you even get that idea?" you shook your head, dismissing the absurd thought, clearly annoyed by your friend's outlandish assumption.
haneul just laughed even more, enjoying the reaction from you. she had always assumed that deep down, you were only pretending to hate sicheng, because she could sense that there was secretly something more than just dislike. the imaginary game you played in your mind, of trying to outshine each other, was something she thought had made the actual attraction to him more intense.
"yeah, you can keep telling yourself that, boss," she placed her hands on your shoulders, giving them a slight squeeze. "but your bad mood would improve a lot if you just let him hit it.”
haneul was caught off guard as you suddenly grabbed the pillow from your lap, not having enough time to react. she grunted as the pillow hit her face with a soft thud. she stumbled back, rubbing her face where the pillow made contact, failing to hide her giggle and act offended.
she was about to continue with her tease when the sound of the door opening interrupted her, as if a greater force was saving her from provoking your wrath even further.
"sorry to interrupt," sicheng's deep voice reached your ears, his gaze fixing on you with a small raise of his eyebrows. he was the last person you wanted to see. "are you free right now?"
“for you?”
“mhm.”
“then no.”
sicheng let out a deep sigh in response, already expecting this reply from you. your name came out of his lips with a different, pleading tone compared to the annoyed one he had used for you all day.
"i’m serious," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of sincerity. "we need to talk, please?"
you were usually a stubborn person, but perhaps today you were simply too drained and the memory of haneul's words from before suddenly echoed in your mind, reminding you that maybe making things difficult wasn't always the right way to go, you knew you had already caused enough trouble.
so with a reluctant sigh, you relented, “fine,” your tone slightly annoyed. “what is it?” you gestured for haneul to give you some space alone with him and she immediately made her way to the door, despite her curiosity about what you would talk.
sicheng moved closer, taking a seat in front of you. you expected him to bring up the topic of the messed-up records and give you his usual sweet and annoying words of reassurance, mentally prepared to roll your eyes and respond with snark.
"i've noticed how stressful it was for you today," he started, his tone sympathetic. "and since this is your first romantic role, i've been thinking about what i could do to make this process easier for you. then, i realized the solution was right in front of us.”
you raised an eyebrow skeptically, not liking where this was going.
“we just need to practice,” he smiled.
"you're saying we should practice... kissing?"
“exactly!”
“absolutely not.”
his smile faded away instantly.
he let out a slight whine, trying to persuade you to comply. "oh, come on," he pleaded, "don't be like that now.”
“i said no. this is so stupid, sicheng,” you crossed your arms, looking away from him.
“why are you making such a big deal out of this?" even though he already knew that acting like this was part of your nature, he still asked.
you felt overwhelmed at the thought of having to kiss him on set even more, let alone practicing it multiple times. it was already a challenge for you, and you were unsure if you could handle it.
you responded with a nonchalant shrug, trying to downplay it. "i’m not making a big deal out of it," you said dismissively. "i just think this idea is stupid. that’s all."
"have you thought about something better then?" he asked, his tone tinged with a slight annoyance. “there's no way we can keep going with the show if you don't overcome this problem." his eyebrows furrowed as he continued, "you know we'll have to perform even more 'spicy' scenes in the future, right?”
ugh... of course you know. you were already starting to regret your stupid decision to accept a show for a mature audience just to compete with sicheng.
“and i fear they might replace you for this scene," he continued, his tone serious. "not that it's a problem per se, but i know you don't like stunts.”
his words made you flinch a little. it’s not that you dislike stunts themselves, you actually think they are pretty cool and that their work is impressive. you just don't like the idea of not seeming capable of doing your own work, and feeling inadequate when you know you're so skilled in it. it leaves you feeling disconcerting.
overwhelmed? unsure if you could handle it? regretting your role choice? replaced by a stunt double? bullshit! you were a top-notch actress, and a simple kiss wouldn't change that. you had the skills and confidence to tackle any role thrown your way.
sicheng knew he had struck a chord as he observed your expression. he knew well that bringing out your competitive side would effectively motivate you. the slight frown that appeared on your face, coupled with the defeated sigh and the rolled eyes, only confirmed his assumption that he had achieved his goal.
“okay, let's do that.”
hah.
he got you.
haneul couldn't resist making suggestive remarks toward you upon hearing that she could leave first because you had things to do with sicheng. it wasn't until you played the "threaten-her-paycheck" card that she finally decided it was time to head home.
now it was just you and sicheng in the studio. as you stood leaning against the table set for the scene, your eyes briefly skimmed over the script once more. you knew that it wasn't to ensure you did it right, but rather to prolong the inevitable moment of kissing him.
“are you done?” sicheng's voice cut through your thoughts, prompting you to lift your head and meet his gaze. he stood a short distance away, his arms crossed in a manner that signaled his patient but slightly impatient attitude.
as you cleared your throat, a subtle attempt to buy a little more time, you glanced back down at the script. "almost," you replied, keeping your gaze fixed on the paper. "i just need to read through it one more time."
but contrary to what you insisted on saying, sicheng wasn’t an idiot.
a flicker of surprise crossed your face as sicheng abruptly grabbed the papers from your hands and tossed them aside. the unexpected move caught you off guard, and before you could react, he had placed his hands on either side of the table, effectively cornering you.
“what are you doing?” your frown deepened as he leaned closer, his body nearly touching yours. the proximity making it difficult to ignore the rapid thuds of your heart and keep your feigned annoyance.
“you needed time," he said, "and i think i've given you enough."
"don't be an idiot," you scoffed. “we need to re—”
“we're not here to rehearse the lines," he interrupted you quickly. "we both know you can recite this backward by now."
you couldn't argue with sicheng's words, he was right; there wasn't a need to play the entire scene when you could easily jump straight to the main part.
you had been attempting to buy time, and sicheng had allowed you some grace in doing so. but he had finally reached a point where enough was enough. there was no escape now.
"alright," you responded with a confident gaze, your expression indicating a readiness to proceed. sicheng's brow twitched slightly at your response, a subtle sign that he was either surprised or intrigued by your sudden change.
his agreement followed swiftly:
"great."
“great.”
with those simple lines, the stage was set.
you were in the correct position, just as the script dictated. in this moment, the male lead had devised a plan to kiss the girl, saying that her wishes would only come true if she kissed him, and he had locked her in the exact position where sicheng was holding you now.
all it needed was the pivotal moment — the kiss.
sicheng's hand cupped your face once more, replicating the same intimate gesture as before. the familiar sensation of his thumb on your cheek triggered the erratic beating of your heart.
you reassured yourself, attributing the sudden rush to the invested nature of your role. easy now, easy, you thought, repeating the mantra in your mind. it was only natural for your heart to race in this moment due to the intimacy required by the character you were portraying — that’s all.
as he leaned even closer, your instinct to push him away resurfaced once more. yet, you resisted the urge, your hands tightly grasping the edge of the table instead.
sicheng's eyes roamed over your lips, and you caught yourself replicating the action unknowingly. those plump lips of his were undeniably inviting, and it was challenging to deny the magnetic attraction you felt.
his lips caressed yours gently and softly, their subtle touch sending a shiver down your spine. the script called for a quick, chaste kiss, and that's precisely what you received as his lips pressed against yours. it was a brief moment, but it was enough to make your legs tremble in response.
ok, first part done. now comes the rest.
with a swift, fluid motion, sicheng leaned in for a second kiss, his hands cupping your face as his thumb subtly guided your chin downwards. you felt your lips part instinctively, granting him access to explore the depths of your mouth with his warm, skilled tongue.
you know, there's no such thing as a "technical kiss" in acting.
you either kiss, or you kiss.
it has to be real.
that's why you were so reluctant before because, right now, only god knows how much you are enjoying this. and no matter how much you triy to deny it, the way your tongue move against his is proof enough.
you found your hands reaching out to grasp his shirt, pulling him closer as you responded to the kiss with a new sense of eagerness.
sicheng was surprised. this wasn't in the script at all. now it seemed like you were just... making out.
not that he's complaining. he likes it.
he very, very much likes it.
as if they had a life of their own, his hands found the hem of your shirt, playing with the cloth for a few moments before sliding them under your clothes. his fingers came into contact with your skin, caressing it gently and making you shiver slightly.
and then, walking a little further, his hand trailed down to the waistband of your pants, sneaking into your panties. the gasp that escaped your lips served as a jolt to your consciousness. quickly, you broke the kiss and grasped his wrist, preventing any further advancements from him.
you locked eyes with sicheng, both of you panting. his hooded eyes, slightly flushed face, and his swollen, reddened lips were a sight to behold.
sicheng's voice, soft and low, echoed softly, asking, "what?" just as he leaned in for another kiss. you almost, almost gave in, your lips yearning to meet his, but you fought the urge, tilting your head back to avoid it.
you pushed him away quickly, fixing your slightly disheveled clothing while attempting to regain composure. your voice trembled a little as you speak.
"i think we did pretty good already. it's getting late too." you hastily handed him the studio keys before adding, "um, thank you for the practice. you can close up. see you tomorrow!" with those words, you hurriedly made your way towards the exit.
things happened so fast that sicheng barely seemed to process what was going on.
"hold on, wait!" his voice rushed after you, trying to catch up. "calm down," he called out, his words coming out quickly. "you didn't come by car today, did you? let me drive you home, i just need to—”
"no! it's fine,” you shook your head adamantly, cutting him off. "i can catch a taxi. thanks anyway.”
and just like that, you left, running away like a cat while closing the door in sicheng's face. the man let his shoulders fall and sighed loudly as he looked at the closed door in front of him, a small smile appearing on his face.
“cute”.
you haven't slept a wink all night.
the scene from the previous night replaying in your mind along with haenul's damned words like a broken record.
no. you do not want to fuck dong sicheng.
this is what you've been repeating in your mind since the moment you got up from your bed until the entire drive to the studio.
he's a bad kisser.
he's terrible.
that was the worst kiss you've ever had.
learning how to kiss with an orange would be better than this.
that's what you repeated in your mind as he kissed you again, but this time in front of the cameras. and you still had to tell yourself that it was your character who was enjoying it, not you. you definitely don't want to take him to a secluded place and make out until your mouth are sore. no.
"and... cut!" the director's voice rang out, followed by a chorus of applause. everyone on set was thrilled with how effortlessly the scene had come together, a stark contrast to the tension-filled atmosphere that had enveloped it lately. the air was charged with positivity, making it clear that this was the best mood the set had experienced since the project's inception.
despite the apparent positive change in the atmosphere, it was clear that there was something... different going on, for lack of a better word, between you and sicheng.
suddenly, you weren't bickering anymore and were even being uncharacteristically polite, thanking and apologizing for the smallest minor matters, which wasn't like your usual self at all.
everyone noticed this, but decided to just accept it as a positive development in the co-workers' feelings between you. at least, it was better than all that tension from before.
as haenul handed you a bottle of water, her words echoed with admiration. "wow," she exclaimed, "that was like, the best kiss scene i’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“oh, really?” you laughed a little awkwardly, your eyes briefly darted towards sicheng, who stood on the opposite side of the room. as your gaze met his, you hastily averted your eyes, taking a sip of water.
"of course! this episode will be an absolute banger; everyone has been waiting for this!" she nodded fiercely and continued. "i've been checking the social media, and..." her words were met with your inattentiveness, as if your mind was preoccupied elsewhere. "and you're not listening to me!" she furrowed.
"oh, sorry about that," you shook your head, snapping back to attention. "i got distracted for a moment. you were saying…?”
haenul's eyes narrowed as she scrutinized you momentarily, following your gaze to where sicheng stood on the other side of the room.
"did you and sicheng finally hook up last night?"
you nearly choked on your water, coughing as you fumbled with the bottle in your hand. your assistant quickly patted your back, trying to help you recover.
once you were fine again, you glanced around nervously to check if anyone had overheard, then turned back to haenul with a sharp glare.
“can you stop blurting stuff like that?!” you hissed at her.
haenul gasped dramatically. “oh my god! you totally did it!”
“i did not!” you snapped, lightly smacking her arm.
“but something happened between you two!” she insisted, her voice dropping to a whisper, just loud enough for you to hear after the scolding. “you’re acting all weird around him. if it wasn’t sex, then what was it?”
“is that seriously the only reason you can think of?” you replied, your tone edged with disbelief. “when did you turn into such a pervert?”
“i mean, you were obviously kissing for real earlier, and now we’re finishing the day without your usual sulking. after spending the night alone with him, what else am i supposed to think?”
you frowned at her explanation. “well, maybe that we’ve become, i don’t know… friends?” haneul looked at you as if you’d just told her the funniest joke she’d ever heard. “pff. yeah, right. friends. sure,” she said, shaking her head.
before you could even attempt to explain that she was partially wrong, everyone’s attention shifted to the director as she clapped her hands to speak.
“since we’ve successfully wrapped up the first part of our series — thanks to everyone here in the studio who made it happen, especially our two stars,” she gestured toward you and sicheng, “doesn’t this call for a celebration? drinks on me for everyone!”
her words were met with cheers from the crew, and even you felt a sense of relief. a good dose of alcohol might help clear your mind, especially since you knew sicheng wasn’t exactly a fan of these kinds of social gatherings.
“we’re going, right, boss?” haneul asked, clasping her hands together in mock prayer. “please, please, it’s the weekend!”
“yes, haneul, we are,” you said, rolling your eyes with a chuckle. “but don’t overdo it, okay? i’m not in the mood to hear you sobbing your heart out while singing sad songs on karaoke again.”
“yes, boss! I’ll treat it like a work meeting,” she replied with a playful salute. “i’ll grab your things so we can head out!” she added enthusiastically before dashing out of sight.
you took a deep breath, relishing the brief moment of solitude. sometimes, it felt hard to breathe with haneul’s constant energy. she could be... intense. but the peace didn’t last long.
“i didn’t know you drink,” sicheng’s voice came from behind, making you turn to face him. “you used to hate the taste of alcohol.”
honestly, you were tired of seeing his face and hearing his voice more than usual. you didn’t like the way it made you feel, not after what happened. it was as if you were suddenly too aware of the strange, tangled emotions brewing inside you.
“well, a lot has changed since our younger days,” you shrugged, your voice casual. you didn’t feel like diving into it any further. “now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to socialize,” you said, turning on your heels, eager to escape the uncomfortable moment.
“i agree. let’s not keep them waiting,” he replied, his footsteps closing in behind you. you froze in your tracks, his sudden presence unsettling.
“you’re coming too?” you asked, confused.
“of course,” he said with a soft chuckle. “you heard the director, can't have the stars missing out."
“but… you don’t like social events,” you said, your tone almost questioning, as if you were trying to figure him out.
“well,” he said with a small smile, “a lot has changed since our younger days.”
it was awful.
you had been hoping for some space from sicheng, but it seemed like life had other plans. you tried to find a seat as far away from him as possible, but he followed, completely at ease, as if he had no intention of leaving your side. and of course, the table quickly filled up, leaving you both sitting side by side, while you anxiously awaited the drinks.
the mood at the table was light, everyone chatting away. haneul took a seat on the other side, eager to be closer to the staff she was interested in, which meant you wouldn’t be on her radar for a while.
you turned your attention to sicheng as he exchanged a few words with the director, and suddenly, it hit you: why were you freaking out about him? it was just a kiss. a brief, heated moment between two adults that didn’t mean a thing. there was no reason for you to keep acting so weird about it all day. after all, he was still sicheng, your rival. you just happened to kiss him.
sure, a few other things almost happened, too, but... it didn’t mean anything. you were just practicing, after all. yeah. you weren’t affected by it. not even a little. mhm.
you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you made these sharp observations, feeling a bit more at ease.
“why are you looking at me like that?” sicheng raised an eyebrow, noticing the way you were smiling at him, as if you were staring at someone who’d just failed a basic math test.
“nothing, it’s just too much for your mind to handle,” you waved your hand dismissively, taking a sip of your drink that had just arrived. your words, along with the casual shrug, made him smile and shake his head.
“oh, i’m actually curious about something,” one of the co-actors began, snapping his fingers at you and the man beside you. “do you two really know each other from high school?"
sicheng’s face lit up at the question, clearly happy. then he looked at you, who wasn’t exactly sharing his enthusiasm, and his smile grew even wider. “yes! yes, we do. we were inseparable back then.”
you furrowed your brows at his words. “you mean you followed me around.”
“isn’t that basically the same thing?”
“it’s not."
“anyways,” he shrugged, “it was because of her that I started to get into theater.”
“and i’ve been regretting that ever since,” you added with a smirk.
a few giggles spread through the table at your playful banter, the lighthearted atmosphere catching everyone off guard. it was clear they were starting to see you both in a new light.
“so, all this time you were actually friends? and here we thought you didn’t get along when it’s just your way of showing friendship,” one colleague commented, raising a curious eyebrow.
“no, that’s not—”
“right? that explains why they have such great chemistry!” another colleague cut you off. “i mean, the kiss scene? that must’ve been awkward with a friend, but it probably makes it easier too, doesn’t it?”
“oh, it’s not that,” sicheng began. “it’s because last night we—”
a loud thud echoed as sicheng’s knee slammed into the table, his words cut off mid-sentence. he turned to you, confused, after you had stomped on his foot under the table.
“oops, how clumsy of me,” you said with a saccharine smile, your voice light but your eyes burning into his. “sorry about that.”
he blinked, clearly perplexed, but nodded slowly and turned back to the group. “anyway, as i was saying, we had a—”
this time, you pressed your heel down on his foot with deliberate force. he hissed in pain, snapping his head back toward you. but you didn’t even flinch, your gaze fixed ahead as if you were entirely innocent.
he narrowed his eyes slightly, then leaned closer, sliding a hand onto your thigh. His grip was firm, not enough to hurt, but enough to stop you from trying anything else. the sudden contact made you tense, and your head snapped toward him, your wide, confused eyes locking with his.
“we just had a little talk and came to an agreement,” he said smoothly, his voice calm and convincing.
“oh, that makes sense,” one of your colleagues hummed, nodding as if it all clicked. “that’s why everything worked out so well in the end. you should have done it since the beginning tho!”
sicheng’s words were deliberate, as if he’d sensed your discomfort from the start and had chosen his lie to protect the fragile truth you wanted to hide. but you couldn’t even focus on what he was saying anymore.
your mind was too preoccupied with his hand placement. his thumb was now tracing slow, deliberate circles on your thigh, hidden under the table. your stomach tightened at the warmth spreading through you, that annoying, fluttery feeling you wished you could suppress.
without a word, you picked up your drink and took a long, steady sip, as if the alcohol could somehow cool the heat in your chest.
god, this was going to be a long night.
oh, you were right.
after managing to wrangle sicheng into the passenger seat of your car, you slammed the door shut and made your way to the driver’s side.
sliding into your seat, you shot him an annoyed look, letting out a long, exasperated sigh.
driving a drunk sicheng home was definitely not part of your plans for the night. but somehow, the crew had unanimously decided to throw him at you because, apparently, the two of you were now best friends. all because you shared some ancient history, and probably because he’d grown unusually clingy after a few too many drinks.
you tried to refuse, insisted that you didn’t want to be responsible for him, but they’d waved you off with the ultimate argument: you were the only one who knew his address.
fantastic.
“you stupid idiot,” you hissed, leaning over to fasten his seatbelt. “if you can’t handle alcohol, why did you even come?”
his eyes, half-closed and heavy with sleep, fluttered open as he turned his head toward you. “because you were coming too,” he slurred, his voice barely above a whisper. “i wanted to be with you.”
you froze, his words catching you completely off guard. your surprised gaze met his drunken one, and you hated how fast your heart was racing. this was absurd.
a small, lazy smile tugged at his lips as he murmured your name, so soft it almost sounded tender.
“you’re so pretty,” he mumbled, his head lolling slightly as he leaned closer. “i want to kiss you.”
to say you were malfunctioning from all this sudden talk was an understatement. the way he said it — soft, unguarded — made it far too tempting to close the small gap between you. for a split second, you almost gave in again. almost.
but with a sharp shake of your head, you snapped yourself out of it. instead of letting your lips meet his, you shoved your hand against his mouth and pushed him back firmly.
“as if i’d do something like that,” you scoffed, leaning back into your seat and starting the car.
from the corner of your eye, you caught the way he pouted, looking like a sulky child.
“you’re always so mean to me,” he mumbled, his voice muffled but unmistakably petulant.
“it’s your fault for being like that,” you shot back, your eyes fixed firmly on the road ahead. “now shut up. i can’t focus on driving with your annoying voice in my head.”
“yes, ma’am,” he murmured softly, his tone almost obedient. he didn’t even try to argue, instead leaning back against the seat and drifting off to sleep. the car fell into silence, broken only by the steady rhythm of his breathing and the erratic pounding of your heart.
“god, i must be crazy,” you muttered under your breath, gripping the steering wheel tighter as if it could steady your own thoughts.
the peaceful silence during the drive to his house was doing wonders to calm your racing thoughts and your heart. you kept repeating to yourself that he was just drunk, that his words didn’t mean anything. even you, who hadn’t had much to drink, were clearly feeling the effects of the alcohol.
that was the only explanation you could cling to, the only thing that brought you any comfort in the moment.
a relieved sigh escaped your lips as you parked in front of his apartment. the street was quiet, the dim glow of the streetlights casting soft shadows over the building. turning to him, you called out in a firm, loud voice.
“we’re here. wake up.”
no reaction. not even a flinch.
“sicheng,” you tried again, leaning over to tap his shoulder. still nothing.
“come on,” you grumbled, grabbing his shoulder and giving him a light shake. “wake up!”
absolutely no response.
with a growing sense of irritation, you grabbed both of his shoulders and shook him with all the frustration of someone at the end of their rope. “WAKE UP!”
but it was pointless. he remained blissfully asleep, the alcohol rendering him completely oblivious. you let out a defeated sigh, releasing him as he slumped back into his seat, and pinched the bridge of your nose.
this night just kept getting better.
you couldn’t just leave him passed out on the street — though you seriously considered the idea for a good few seconds. but, in the end, you had no choice but to do something you absolutely didn’t want to do.
“dong sicheng, you better be ready for your death sentence tomorrow,” you muttered through gritted teeth, adjusting his limp body onto your back. he was surprisingly heavy, and you were giving it everything you had to carry him while he, of course, enjoyed the sleep of his life, his soft breaths tickling the back of your neck.
staggering inside the building as quickly as you could, you headed straight for the elevator. you only knew exactly where he lived because, back when you were hunting for a new apartment, you’d toured this building. of course, you’d had the misfortune of running into him that day. sicheng had happily joined your tour, turning it into his personal showcase of his apartment. at least it made it easy to cross this building off your list.
reaching the elevator, you pressed the button, only to stop cold when you noticed the maintenance notice taped to the door.
“you’ve got to be kidding me,” you groaned, staring at the sign like it might change its mind.
sicheng lived on the 11th floor.
this was going to be a nightmare.
to sum up the nigh, believe it or not, you actually climbed the stairs to the 11th floor with sicheng slumped over your back. every step felt like a herculean effort, but you kept telling yourself this was the fastest way to be rid of him.
when you finally reached his door, breathless and drenched in sweat, life decided to have one last laugh at your expense. a keypad lock blinked back at you mockingly.
you stared at it, utterly defeated.
after a moment of recovery, you tried every password you could think of: his birthday, his acting debut date, his mom’s birthday, even your birthday. nothing worked. each failed attempt pushed you closer to a breakdown.
which is how you ended up here: sicheng sprawled out comfortably on your bed, snoring softly, while you stood there, glaring at him with the fury of someone who had well and truly hit their limit.
getting mad wouldn’t do you any good right now. it wasn’t like you could argue with someone who was completely knocked out. all you could do was accept the situation and leave it for the morning, when he’d hopefully be conscious enough to face the consequences.
taking a deep, calming breath, you laid down beside him. there was no way you were sleeping on the couch. too uncomfortable. and besides, the only reason he was in your bed to begin with was because the living room felt like it was miles away, and you absolutely refused to carry him any farther than you already had.
so here you were, stuck sharing a bed with dong sicheng.
“unbelievable,” you muttered, turning your back to him as if that would help you ignore the fact that he was there at all.
but it didn't take long for you to turn to look him, letting your eyes linger on his sleeping face. his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, and his hair fell messily across his forehead, brushing against his soft features. you had to admit, he was ridiculously handsome. there was a princely air about him, something in the elegance of his delicate features that always seemed to catch your attention no matter how hard you tried to look away.
your gaze wandered, tracing the curve of his nose, the sharp line of his jaw, the faint lashes resting against his cheek. and then your eyes stopped on his lips, plump, rosy, and slightly parted.
you swallowed hard.
okay. maybe you wanted to kiss him again.
and maybe, just maybe, you could finally admit that the kiss had affected you far more than you’d been willing to let yourself believe.
your gaze drifted lower, trailing down the curve of his neck. the first few buttons of his crisp white shirt were undone, teasing you with a glimpse of his collarbone and the faint rise and fall of his chest. your eyes wandered further, catching on his hands, broad and elegant, resting lazily by his side.
your brows furrowed slightly as your mind betrayed you, flashing back to the feeling of those hands on your skin.
okay. maybe you wanted to fuck him too.
you quickly looked away, dragging a hand over your face before resting your arm across your eyes, as if that would block out the whirlwind of thoughts spiraling in your mind.
“god,” you muttered under your breath, “i must really be losing it.”
the shrill sound of your phone alarm jolted you awake, your face twisting in irritation as you blindly slapped around the bed. after a few failed attempts, your hand finally found the device buried under your pillow, and you silenced it with a hiss.
groaning, you kept your eyes shut and your head buried in the mattress, hoping to reclaim the comfort of sleep, but it was useless. letting out a defeated sigh, you blinked your eyes open and... froze.
the bed was empty.
you shot upright, the sudden absence snapping you fully awake. your eyes darted around the room, searching for any sign of life. nothing. quickly, you got up and began pacing through your house.
sicheng was gone.
“you stupid bastard,” you hissed, gritting your teeth as a wave of disbelief hit you. “i even carried his dead weight all night for him to leave without so much as a thank you?!” your fists clenched as you let out an incredulous scoff. “dong sicheng, you are so damned.”
a small, frustrated scream left your lips as you stomped toward the bathroom. a nice, scalding shower, it was the only thing that could save both your sanity and sicheng's life at this point.
but, contrary to what you imagined, the bath only cleared your mind enough to make you even more irritated with the situation. it was an affront, an insult! you were going to make sicheng pay for this humiliation! a great outrage! you could already see your hands wrapped around his neck and—
a knock on the door cut through your murderous thoughts. taking a deep breath, you walked over to open it, only for your eyes to widen at the sight of the man you’d been cursing standing there with that infuriating smile.
freshly dressed and looking nothing like the disaster he’d been before, sicheng radiated ease. but you couldn’t care less about his annoyingly perfect face right now.
“i’m gonna kill you with my own two hands, so get ready,” you growled, stalking closer with your fingers curled as if ready to strangle him.
“hey, hey, calm down,” he said, laughing softly as he caught your wrists in his hands, his touch warm and steady. his smile grew wider, completely unfazed by your murderous intent.
"are you seriously asking me to calm down?" you snapped, attempting to push forward again, but he held your wrists tighter, his grip firm yet gentle.
"i know you're mad," he said softly, leaning down to press a kiss to your wrist. the warmth of his lips brushing your skin sent a jolt through you, your resolve faltering. disoriented, you found yourself staring at him, momentarily forgetting why you were even angry. "and i'm here to apologize, of course," he added, his tone dripping with sincerity, though that playful glint in his eyes made you suspicious.
"i climbed up and down eleven floors with you on my back," you managed to say, your voice carrying a hint of annoyance despite your disoriented state. his surprised expression told you everything: he didn’t remember half of what happened last night. "an 'i'm sorry' isn't enough to save your ass."
"i know," he nodded, resisting the urge to ask for a full recap. "which is why i already reserved a table for us at your favorite restaurant."
"what?" you blinked, confused. "how do you even know what my favorite restaurant is?"
"because i’m interested in you," he said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "any other reason would just be an excuse, don’t you think?"
your jaw nearly dropped. this was exactly what you liked and hated about him: he was always unapologetically sincere.
you stood there, at a loss for words, unsure of how to respond. but he, of course, didn't miss a beat and took your silence as an answer.
“then it’s settled!” he said with that all-too-confident smile. “let’s go.”
and once again, your silly heart betrayed you, too caught up in the moment to resist.
the place was near your house. it wasn’t anything extravagant, but it had its own charm. cozy, inviting, warm, it felt almost like a safe haven for you. a perfect find for your new place, tucked away from prying eyes.
“and that’s everything you put me through,” you finished recounting the events of last night to him, carefully omitting a few details, like the part where he said he wanted to kiss you or when you accidentally knocked his head on the door frame while trying to get him into your bedroom.
sicheng’s face turned a deep shade of red as he fanned himself with one hand, the other clutching his glass of water. he avoided your gaze for a moment, clearly embarrassed, before stealing a quick sip.
he only remembered bits and pieces of last night, but from what you described, it was worse than he had imagined. guilt settled heavily on his shoulders as he listened.
“i’m really so sorry,” he said, his voice soft and genuine, his wide, puppy-like eyes locking onto yours. “i’m not usually like this. i overdid it yesterday, and i caused you so much trouble. i’m sorry.”
you finished your meal, casually listening to his concerned words. honestly, seeing that guilty, almost childlike expression on his face was oddly satisfying. if you were being fair, dealing with him drunk wasn’t that bad, he was mostly well-behaved. but it was part of your nature to make a big deal out of things, especially when it came to him. besides, a free lunch at your favorite spot had done wonders to smooth over your irritation.
“you’re lucky i’m a very nice person,” you said, shrugging with a mock air of superiority. “i’ll accept all that and forgive you… this time.”
his shoulders relaxed, the tension visibly draining from his body. since the moment he woke up and found you sleeping soundly against his chest, he knew he had messed up. the guilt had weighed heavily on him, and he’d spent the entire morning running through a million different ways to make it up to you. seeing you willing to forgive him so easily was a relief he hadn’t expected.
“thank you,” he said softly, his gaze warm and sincere. “i promise i’ll be more careful next time.”
you raised an eyebrow, your tone teasing. “next time? you think there’s gonna be a next time?”
he laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “okay, bad choice of words.”
you chuckled at his words, resting your chin on your palm as you leaned closer, a curious glint in your eyes.
“by the way,” you began casually, “you said a couple of funny things last night too.”
“hmm, really?” he raised his brows slightly, feigning ignorance while signaling the waiter for a dessert. “like what?”
“like going to the meeting just because i was going,” you replied, narrowing your eyes slightly, testing if his drunk words held any truth.
“oh, yeah,” he nodded nonchalantly, turning his attention back to you. “i heard you mention it, so i thought it’d be fun to tag along.”
“saying you're interested in me all of a sudden, still following me around like a lost puppy…” you trailed off, lips curling into a faint smirk. “do you have a crush on me or something?”
“what do you think?” he shot back, mimicking your posture as he leaned in, resting his chin on his palm, a teasing smile playing on his lips.
“you know it’s stupid to answer a question with another question, right?” you gave him a bored look, but your tone was far from serious. “but if you do like me, i can only assume you’re a masochist.”
his laughter bubbled up before he could stop it, bright and genuine “what? i’m not a masochist! where is that coming from?”
“well, I’m not exactly nice to you,” you shrugged, feigning indifference. “like, I kinda hate you, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“you do not hate me.”
“yes, i do?”
“no, you don’t.”
“yes, i do.”
“do you kiss everyone you hate?”
your smugness evaporated in an instant, replaced by embarrassment. “shut up,” you muttered, leaning back in your chair, refusing to meet his eyes as he grinned victoriously.
“now that this came up,” he tilted his head, studying you intently, “we never really talked about that, did we? you’ve been avoiding it all day, then i had that little… drunken incident, and we just never addressed it.”
“well, that’s because there’s nothing to talk about,” you shrugged, doing your best to sound casual and unaffected, even as your grip tightened slightly on your glass.
“hmm, is that so?” he clicked his tongue, a mischievous glint in his eyes as his tone turned teasing. “going through all that trouble to get me home safe, kissing me, sleeping all cuddled up on me… you know, i’m starting to think you’re the one who likes me.”
your head snapped toward him, eyes wide. “excuse me?”
“oh, don’t look so shocked,” he chuckled, leaning forward slightly, resting his chin on his hand again. “i mean, actions speak louder than words, don’t they? and your actions…” he trailed off, letting the implication hang in the air as his grin widened.
“first of all, and most importantly, i did not sleep cuddling you,” you said, your tone sharp as if he’d just told you the worst joke of the century.
“oh? but you did,” he replied smoothly, nodding with absolute confidence. “when i woke up, you were hugging me like i was your favorite teddy bear or something.”
“i would never—”
“oh, our dessert, finally!” he interrupted, his face lighting up as the waiter placed the sweet tart on the table. “it looks delicious,” he added, completely shifting gears, as if your denial wasn’t the least bit convincing.
“are you seriously gonna end things like that?” you asked, disbelief heavy in your voice.
“here, say ‘aah,’” he said, raising a spoonful of pie toward your mouth like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“i'm not doing it.”
“say aah.”
“i said i'm not.”
he didn’t budge, just kept looking at you with that infuriatingly cute and bright smile that you couldn’t seem to resist. with an exasperated sigh, you crossed your arms and rolled your eyes, turning your head away. but, of course, you leaned in slightly, opening your mouth just enough for him to slide the spoon past your lips.
your frown quickly softened into an expression of pure delight as the flavors burst on your tongue. the bittersweet tang of the strawberry, the velvety richness of the custard, and the flaky crust of the tart all mingled perfectly. you couldn’t help but sigh and hum in satisfaction. it was that good.
“now that’s a great reaction,” sicheng said, amusement dancing in his voice.
you raised a brow at him, narrowing your eyes slightly.
“besides the faces you make when you’re acting, this has to be one of the most charming expressions i’ve ever seen you make. and those little sounds you’re making? delightful,” he added with a teasing grin.
you nearly choked. “what is wrong with you?”
“i’m just being honest,” he chuckled, clearly enjoying your reaction. “i want to see it again,” he said, holding out the spoon toward you. “open your mouth for me.”
“…no.”
“oh, really?” he raised an eyebrow, his grin widening. “do you really not want to?”
you couldn’t help but think that maybe you were the one with something wrong, because before you even realized it, you silently opened your mouth again, earning a satisfied smirk from him.
“hmm, so greedy.”
“by the way,” you glanced at him, who was walking beside you as you both made your way to your place. “why did you go home so early?”
“why? were you upset that my face wasn’t the first thing you saw in the morning?”
“forget i ever asked anything and just die for all i care.”
sicheng laughed at your annoyed expression. “it’s nothing much,” he shrugged. “i just couldn’t take you on a date smelling like alcohol, right? i wanted to apologize in nice clothes, at least.”
“this was not a date,” you said quickly, hoping to shut him down.
“yes, it was.”
“don’t even start,” you lifted a hand to stop him from going any further, making him laugh once again.
“here we are, safe and sound,” he said as you both stopped in front of your door.
you cursed yourself when you suddenly felt a pang of disappointment at the thought of the moment with him coming to an end. you wouldn’t mind spending a little more time with him, to be honest…
“finally, this infernal time beside you is over,” your words were at odds with your feelings as you looked at him.
“whatever you say, sweetie,” he responded with a fond smile.
it should be illegal for someone to look at you like that, your chest tightening at the soft, affectionate smile he gave you. you hated it. hated how his gaze made everything inside you stir, how it made your heart skip a beat against your will. you wanted to be angry, to push him away, but all you could do was stand there, feeling something you didn’t want to feel.
“you’ll burn a hole into me if you keep staring like that,” he teased, tilting his chin slightly as if silently telling you to come inside, and only then would he head home.
you couldn’t quite understand what had gotten into you when you cupped his face and pulled him in for a kiss. you just wanted to feel his lips again, even if just for a moment, just one more time, that would be enough.
sicheng was caught off guard, but didn’t pull away, letting you lead. you froze, eyes wide, your gaze meeting his.
“i-i’m sorry,” you muttered, suddenly feeling foolish. why had you kissed him just like that?
as you tried to step back, his hands locked around you, holding you steady. he gripped your waist, his eyes burning with desire.
“if you cling to me like this, all i can do is kiss you,” his voice was low, soft. “and that’s fine… if all you want is kisses,” he gave you a meaningful look.
if only kisses were enough to throw your mind and body into disarray… maybe you were greedy, as he’d said, but you weren’t satisfied.
“i want more…” you whispered, barely audible.
that was all he needed to hear before pulling you into another kiss, his tongue urgently invading your mouth as you responded with equal intensity.
you fumbled with the door handle, trying to opem it, while sicheng pushed you inside, never breaking the kiss. he closed the door behind you, his hands guiding you toward your room without hesitation, already knowing the way.
you both nearly stumbled as you hurriedly kicked off your shoes, chuckling against each other's lips. With a quick movement, sicheng laid you down on your bed, his lips trailing kisses from your jaw down to your collarbone. his hands slipped under your shirt, gently caressing your skin.
"i can't believe we're doing this," you murmured, a soft whimper escaping you.
“i told you," he mumbled back, his lips sucking lightly on your skin, peppering the area with soft kisses to soothe you. “you like me.”
well, it's not like you're in any position to argue right now.
he wasted no time in pulling your shirt over your head, exposing your bare torso. “fuck, you're so hot,” he hissed, sucking on his bottom lip as he couldn't help but admire the sight of your hardened nipples, feeling his cock twitch inside his pants.
“stop staring and do something,” your needy voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he was quick to obey your words.
sicheng leaned down to wrap his lips around your breast, his warm, wet tongue swirling around your nipples and sucking hard. your toes curled at the sensation and you moaned softly as you closed your eyes, your fingers tangling in his hair.
as he continued his ministrations on your breasts, his hands found the waistband of your pants. you lifted your hips a little to help him pull them down along your lacy panties, kicking them to somewhere else.
you opened your eyes to look at him, feeling even wetter as you watched him sucking on your tits like he was having a feast. you held his face and made him release your breast, a soft 'pop' sound was heard as he pulled away, looking at you with half lidded eyes.
you shiver slightly as you feel the cool breeze hit your wet breasts, already missing the feeling of his warm tongue on you, but you really wanted to kiss him even more and that's exactly what you did as you pulled him up to attack his lips.
“you taste so good,” he groaned into your mouth, his hand caressing your inner thigh and squeezing it lightly to emphasize his words. his fingers moved up to find yoyr dripping pussy, sliding along your slit and coating his fingers with your juices. “so wet already, you were really waiting for this, huh?” he buried his face in your neck, smoothing your skin with kisses.
it was too embarrassing to admit it and it wasn't like you needed to since your body had been betraying you enough for quite some time now, so all you could do was move your hips down, trying to get his fingers inside you.
“oh, eager, aren’t we?” he teased, lifting his head to meet your gaze, his smirk growing as he noticed the way you bit your lip, your brows furrowed, and your breath coming in short, uneven gasps.
“please, don’t start teasing now,” you murmured, your voice soft but edged with a hint of urgency. you held back from saying anything too daring, not wanting to give him more fuel to prolong his playful torment.
he only chuckled softly, pressing a warm kiss to your cheek before capturing your lips again. this time, he didn’t hold back, finally giving you what you wanted.
a sharp intake of breath escaped your lips as he slid two fingers inside you, thrusting them steadily. he could feel your tight, warm heat clasping around his digits, letting him even more anxious to bury his cock deep inside you.
he began to rub soft circles on your clit with his thumb as he took your breast into his mouth again, the combined actions making you squirm beneath him and moan louder.
he curled and scissored his fingers inside you, soon feeling the way you clenched around them. "close already?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows, and your response was just a fierce nod followed by soft whimpers.
your confirmation made him withdraw his fingers and you whined almost in despair, feeling empty and unsatisfied as he wouldn't let you finish.
"calm down, princess," he lightly slapped your thigh. "i want you to cum on my cock, hm?" he kissed the tip of your nose as he finally got rid of his own clothes and quickly positioned himself between your legs. he collected some of your fluids to spread along his shaft, hard as a rock, twitching with need. "i'm gonna fill this pussy up so good,” he was as impatient as you, so he only teased your entrace with his tip and entered you slowly, grinding against your sensitive clit.
your hands gripped the sheets tightly as you felt him stretching you, filling up any remaining space in your pussy, while he groaned and closed his eyes, enjoying the way your pussy gripped him tightly as if it never wanted to let him go.
"god, you feel so good," he began to thrust his hips against your pelvis slowly, he could feel your tight heat enveloping him, pulling him deeper. one of his hands gripped your hip, holding you in place as he fucked you. "that's it, taking me so well," he encouraged, his pace slow and steady, letting you feel every inch of him.
he’s played with you a lot already, so it didn’t take long for you to feel your climax building again, and he seemed to notice it as he picked up the pace, leaning down to bury his face in your neck.
“cum for me, baby,” he bites you gently and pull away from your neck to watch your face, using his fingers to pinch your clit and bring you to the edge. wrapping your legs around his waist, your breath hitched in your throat as you clenched around him, feeling the knot in your stomach unravel as you creamed his cock.
he wasn’t that far behind you, the whole intense moment was enough to bring him to the edge too, he kept pounding into you and pulled out just in time to empty himself, covering your stomach with his release.
you looked so hot like that that he had to hold back the urge to bury himself inside you again immediately. he let a bit more of his weight press against you, his lips finding yours once more in a lingering kiss.
"okay," you murmured against his lips, slightly breathless, making him chuckle softly. "maybe I like you... just a little bit now."
"just a little?" he teased, nibbling your lower lip with a playful smirk. "didn't seem like 'just a little' to me."
you tilted your head, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "i think we need to try it all over again so i can decide for sure.”
he loved your smile. your lively and kind personality. your fighting spirit. your attitude. your motivation to constantly try to improve yourself. your facial expressions. your humorous personality. your positivity. your ambition. your love for others. your confidence. your honesty. your sincereness. your imagination.
he loved everything about you. all your flaws, imperfect features, anything that made you more you.
but how does one convey that in a single sentence? a single phrase? a singular, 'i love you'.
he's not confident anymore if he can really do this.
"sicheng?" he feels your gorgeous eyes peer up at him, tilting your head in a confused manner. he thinks about how pretty your eyes look, with the dazzling night sky reflecting in them. he feels so lucky to be able to see this beautiful sight.
in that single moment, he forgets everything he was going to say. he prepared so hard for this day, for this moment, but when the time came, he lost it all.
he's sorry he can't give you a long confession like those you enjoy reading in stories. he's sorry he can't make this moment anymore special. but he wants to tell you. needs to ask you. even if there was a slight chance you might reject him, he needed to do this.
he grabs onto your shoulders and locks eyes with you for a couple more seconds. the air feels tense, neither one of you daring to break the silence, until sicheng manages to speak out, his voice intense, his gaze pleading, "i want you to be mine."
your eyes widened in shock, a faint blush spreading over your cheeks. you looked like you were in disbelief, like you couldn't believe those words had come out of his mouth. "me?"
at this, his smile grows wider. why was he ever worried?
