#winwin x reader

[imhaechanshoe]

𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚 || Liu Yangyang

pairing: best friend!yangyang x camgirl!reader

Warnings: camgirl work, sexual tension, language, secret-keeping, voyeurism, eventual smut 18+, dom!Yangyang, fingering (f receiving), orgasm denial/edging, public teasing (semi-public setting), jealousy/possessive behavior, dirty talk, rough kissing, praise & mild degradation, sexual tension in public space, strong language.

A/N: this is freaky asl, this is INSPIRED by @hyuckiefluff

Liu Yangyang was your best friend. Not the casual kind who lent you notes once a semester and waved in lecture halls, but the kind who knew you liked strawberry milk in your coffee even though you claimed you hated sweet drinks.

The kind who showed up to your apartment at 2 a.m. with greasy fries and a Powerade because he “had a feeling.” The kind you secretly, shamefully, maybe just a little bit—wanted to fuck.

But Yangyang? He saw you as just a friend. Just a girl who wore baggy hoodies and stole his socks, who cursed too much and watched horror movies like they were lullabies. He didn’t know the version of you that other people paid to see.

At least, that’s what you thought.

You were a camgirl.

Not because you wanted to be forever—but because tuition was murder, your scholarship only covered so much, and frankly? You were good at it.

A few hours a week. Lingerie. Sometimes toys. Always a mask. Always a fake name. Never in person. You were careful.

And Yangyang? He was never supposed to know.

“Dude,” he groaned, flopping back on your dorm bed, legs dangling off the edge. “If Professor Jin assigns one more group project, I swear I’m gonna commit a crime.”

You didn’t look up from your laptop, fingers dancing over your keyboard. “You mean like not showing up to half your lectures already?”

“Low blow.” He kicked your thigh lightly with his socked foot. “You love me.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled. “Yeah, yeah. You bringing your ass to film club later?”

He shrugged. “Only if you promise to actually pay attention this time. Last week you were glued to your phone.”

You stilled for a second.

Last week’s stream. You had just finished a pretty intense session—your most generous subscriber, P1nDown, had sent a massive tip. You’d thanked him with a custom video. The rush afterward was addictive. You couldn’t stop checking for his next message.

You cleared your throat. “Yeah. Sorry. Just had stuff.”

Yangyang tilted his head at you like he was trying to read behind your words. He was always good at that—getting too close, asking too little, and seeing too much.

The problem with secrets was that they lived everywhere: in the way you avoided his gaze when a notification popped up on your phone, in the way you kept a second folder on your laptop labeled “Taxes” that definitely wasn’t about taxes.

You had a system. You were careful.

Until you weren’t.

It happened on a Tuesday. The air was heavy with pre-storm heat, your dorm Wi-Fi was shot, and you had an econ assignment due by midnight.

You didn’t think twice when you texted Yangyang.

you home?
need to borrow ur laptop, mine’s dead.
i’ll bring iced coffee?

Yangyang💕: only if it’s that trash vanilla almond shit you get
Yangyang💕: door’s open

You snorted and headed to his place. His dorm was across campus in the international student housing building—cleaner, nicer, quieter. Typical.

He wasn’t home when you got there. You let yourself in, dropped the coffee on his desk, and booted up his laptop.

That was your first mistake.

The tab was already open when the browser loaded.

It wasn’t porn—not exactly. It was a paused video. Full screen.

Your video.

You blinked, brain buffering.

It was you—wearing the navy lace teddy you’d bought for your two-month streaming anniversary. Knees parted. Lips parted. Fingers wet. Eyes half-lidded under your crystal-studded mask. The words “Thanks for the love, P1nDown 💋” were scrawled in text across the bottom.

And in the top-right corner?

The account name was logged in.

L.Yang99

Your stomach dropped.

No. No way. No fucking way.

You slammed the laptop shut like it had burned you. Your chest felt tight, ears ringing.

Yangyang… was your top subscriber?

He came back ten minutes later, earbuds in, hoodie damp with sweat.

“Hey, did it load okay? Wi-Fi was—"

“You’re P1nDown.”

He froze mid-step. Slowly, he took his earbuds out.

“…What?”

You stood, heart racing, pointing at the laptop like it was a crime scene. “Don’t lie. Your tab was open. My video. Your account. Logged in. I saw everything.”

Yangyang went still. Then exhaled a long, shaky breath.

“Okay,” he said quietly. “Yeah.”

Silence.

“You knew it was me,” you whispered.

“I figured it out a while ago.” He looked at you then, eyes dark, unreadable. “Didn’t mean to find it. I was just scrolling and… I saw the mole on your inner thigh.”

Your breath hitched.

He’d noticed that?

“You shouldn’t have—”

“I know.” His voice cracked. “I shouldn’t have watched. But I couldn’t stop.”

You swallowed hard. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He gave a humorless laugh. “What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey, by the way, I jerk off to your streams every other night and tip you more than my rent’? That’s not exactly best friend behavior.”

Your face flushed. The words should’ve made you angry. Ashamed. But part of you—the part that had fantasized about Yangyang’s hand between your thighs, about him seeing that side of you—lit up like a fucking firecracker.

“You’re my best friend,” you said, throat dry. “This could ruin everything.”

He stepped closer. “Yeah. Or maybe it changes everything.”

You didn’t speak for a long time.

Just stared at Yangyang like he was a stranger wearing your best friend’s face. Your throat was dry, stomach twisted, but your thighs were clenched tight and warm in a way that made you furious at yourself.

This was wrong. He was Yangyang—the boy who used to spoon-feed you ramen when you were too hungover to move. The boy who held your hand through every mental breakdown. The boy who, for the last six months, had been your highest paying subscriber—without you knowing.

And now, he was just standing there. Looking at you like he’d seen you naked a hundred times.

Because he had.

“You saw everything,” you murmured.

“You’ve been seeing everything.”

Yangyang looked wrecked—flushed, eyes glassy, tongue darting out nervously across his bottom lip.

“Yeah.”

“And you still came over like nothing happened? Let me crash at your place? Let me sit on your bed when you—when you’ve watched me—?”

“I didn’t do it to be creepy,” he cut in, voice strained.

“It wasn’t some plan. I didn’t even know it was you at first. But once I did, I just— I couldn’t stop.”

You backed away a step, pulse erratic.

“So you just kept watching. Tipping. Getting off to me. While pretending to be my best friend.”

“Don’t say it like that.” He stepped toward you, hands open.

“It wasn’t pretending. I’m still your best friend. I just…” He exhaled shakily.

“You were so confident. On camera. It didn’t feel like you were just performing. It felt real. Like you wanted it.”

You did. You do.

But admitting that felt like throwing a match into a pool of gasoline.

“I don’t show my face,” you muttered. “You weren’t supposed to know. That wasn’t you I was performing for.”

“I didn’t care. I still don’t.” His voice dropped.

“I just wanted to see you. All of you. Even the parts you think you have to hide.”

Your skin burned. Your heart pounded. But something deep and hot and twisted inside of you ached at those words.

This was Yangyang. He was the only person you’d ever trusted with your ugly. With your midnight breakdowns and your shame and your softness. You never imagined he’d want the other part of you too.

But maybe he had all along.

“You’ve tipped me over two grand,” you said softly, breaking the silence.

Yangyang laughed weakly. “Yeah. I might’ve had to ask Xiaojun for rent last month.”

You blinked. “You’re serious?”

He nodded.

You narrowed your eyes. “Why?”

Yangyang stepped closer again, and this time you didn’t move.

“I liked making you feel good,” he said.

“Even if you didn’t know it was me. I liked knowing I could do that for you. That I was your favorite.”

Your breath hitched. “You were my favorite.”

“I still want to be.”

The air between you snapped like a live wire.

He reached out slowly, hand brushing your jaw. You didn’t pull away. Your eyes searched his—unsure, trembling, but needy.

“I’ve wanted you for months,” he whispered. “Every time you moaned someone’s name on camera, I pretended it was mine. Every time you said ‘good boy,’ I imagined it was me you were teasing. Touching.”

Your knees buckled.

“Yangyang…”

“Tell me to stop, and I will.” His thumb grazed your cheek. “But if you don’t—tell me what you do when you know I’m watching.”

You didn’t sleep that night.

You didn’t kiss him. You didn’t take your clothes off. You didn’t let things go further than they should.

But you let him stay.

On the floor beside your bed, blanket over his shoulders, eyes locked on you like he could read every filthy thing you’d ever streamed—and still wanted more.

The next few days were weird.

Not bad weird. Just hot and slow and buzzing with tension that you didn’t know how to handle.

Yangyang came over to your place more. He brought snacks. Teased you.

Caught your eye when you leaned too far forward in a low-cut shirt.

You caught his eyes lingering too long when you stretched in your shorts. He never pushed, but the air between you was never innocent again.

He never brought up your streams. Never asked when your next one was. But one night, you checked your page, and your private inbox lit up.

P1nDown:
if you’re going live tonight
can i request something special?

You:
what kind of special?

P1nDown:
just want to hear you say my name
once
just once

You stared at the screen for a long time.

Then typed:

You:
only if you ask nicely.

You didn’t say it on the stream.

You thought about it. Played with the idea. Even put on the red lace bodysuit—the one that always made you feel like a weapon.

But when the tip came in—$500, and the caption “Please, baby. Say it for me.”—you only smiled at the camera and whispered, “Not yet.”

You were going to make him earn it.

You didn’t mean to tease him.

Okay. Maybe you did.

Just a little.

The night you wore the red lace on stream, Yangyang didn’t speak to you for a full day.

You didn’t blame him. You were his best friend—his favorite streamer—and you’d stared directly into the lens, lips parted and plush with gloss, and whispered, “Not yet.”

He knew it was for him. And you knew what that did to him.

The silence only lasted until the next night, when he showed up at your door with a bottle of soju and a six-pack of mango sparkling water like nothing had happened.

“Movie night?” he asked, eyes dark.

You nodded. “Movie night.”

But neither of you made it to the end of the movie.

You were sitting on your bed, laptop on your lap, one foot tucked under you. Yangyang was next to you, scrolling on his phone, his body angled slightly toward yours. Close enough that your knees brushed when you laughed. Close enough that your whole body was on alert.

It was suffocating. This weird electric buzz in the air that never left anymore.

When the movie ended, the silence lingered. Heavy. Heated.

You cleared your throat. “I have a stream tomorrow.”

Yangyang’s head snapped up. “Yeah?”

You nodded slowly. “Haven’t done one since… you know.”

His lips quirked. “Since you found out I’ve been jerking off to you?”

Your face flamed. “Yangyang.”

“What?” he leaned in slightly, gaze

locked to yours. “You asked.”

You licked your lips. “You could’ve just pretended you hadn’t seen it.”

“I didn’t want to pretend.”

A pause.

“Do you still…watch?” you asked.

His eyes darkened. “Every time.”

Your breath caught.

“Do you…” You couldn’t believe you were saying this. “Do you touch yourself to me?”

The corner of his mouth curled up, slow and devastating.

“Do you want the truth?”

You swallowed. “Yeah.”

He leaned forward, and this time, there was no space left between you. Just heat. Just tension. Just the past year of him pretending and you hiding and all of it boiling over.

“I’ve come to your voice more times than I can count,” Yangyang whispered. “To the sound of you begging, moaning, teasing. You’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

You whimpered. Literally whimpered.

“And you know what the worst part is?” he said, voice ragged. “It still wasn’t enough.”

Your body moved on instinct. You dropped the laptop to the floor, barely heard it hit the carpet, and grabbed his hoodie, fisting it in your hands.

He didn’t wait.

Yangyang crashed into you like a storm—mouth hot, hands possessive, tongue sliding into your mouth with months of pent-up hunger. You moaned into the kiss, your back hitting the mattress as he pushed you down and slotted himself between your thighs.

“Fuck,” he gasped against your lips. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“You should’ve said something.”

“You should’ve said my name on stream.”

Your laugh broke on a moan as he kissed down your neck, hands already slipping under your shirt. He tugged it off, eyes darkening at the sight of your bralette.

“This the one you wore in the birthday stream?” he asked.

You flushed. “Yeah.”

“I came so hard to that video.” He licked a stripe between your breasts. “Still do.”

“Yangyang—”

“Say it again,” he growled. “Say my name like that.”

You did.

And he lost it.

His mouth moved lower. Hands under your waistband, dragging your shorts down in one smooth motion. You gasped when his tongue traced your hipbone.

“I always wondered what you tasted like,” he murmured. “Thought about it every time you opened your legs on cam. Wondered if you got wet just for the camera—or if you were already dripping before you hit record.”

“I’m always wet,” you whispered.

“Thinking about who’s watching.”

“You mean me.”

You bit your lip, nodding. “I didn’t know. But maybe part of me hoped it was.”

He growled low in his throat. “Fuck. You’re evil.”

Then he kissed your inner thigh. Your stomach. The crease of your hip.

“Yangyang—”

“I want to taste you,” he said. “But I want to hear you first.”

You blinked. “What?”

He sat back, legs sprawled, hoodie riding up just enough to tease the waistband of his boxers.

“I want you to touch yourself,” he said. “Like you would on stream. Like you do when you think about me.”

You should’ve hesitated. But you didn’t.

You spread your legs, fingers dipping between your folds, and started slow. Deliberate. The way you always did for your top-paying subscriber—who, as it turned out, had always been this close.

Yangyang watched with wide, dark eyes. One hand down his pants, gripping himself hard.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “You’re even prettier like this in real life.”

You whined as your fingers circled your clit, thighs trembling already.

“Did you ever think about me?” he asked, voice low. “When you streamed? Did you ever think about what it’d be like if Iwas the one tipping you? Watching you?”

“Yes,” you gasped. “Always.”

That was all it took.

Yangyang was on you in seconds, lips on your throat, hand replacing yours between your legs. He slid two fingers into you, fucking you slow and deep while your mouth fell open.

“You’re so wet for me,” he groaned. “You want me to fuck you, baby?”

“Yes—please, please—”

He yanked off his hoodie and pants in record time, eyes locked to yours the whole time.

And when he finally sank into you?

It was everything.

It was soft moans and whispered names and the sound of his hips hitting yours.

It was him biting down on your shoulder, whimpering, “You feel so fucking good.”

It was you wrapping your legs around him and crying out, “Don’t stop—Yangyang, please—”

And when you came?

You didn’t hold back.

You said his name.

Over and over and over.

Just like he’d always wanted.

“You’re still wet.”

Yangyang’s voice was low, right against your ear, as his fingers brushed the inside of your thigh under the table.

“Yang—someone might see—”

“I want them to.”

You squeezed your thighs together, pulse pounding.

You were in the library.

At the back corner table where you and Yangyang usually studied, hidden behind stacks of textbooks and his laptop. You were trying to write an essay while he claimed to be “editing photos” for his class—which clearly translated to “see how wrecked I can get you without anyone noticing.”

You wore a skirt. That was your first mistake.

No panties. Your second.

Letting him come with you today, even after he whispered “You’re not allowed to cum again until I say so” last night—your third.

His fingers grazed the slick heat between your legs again, slow and deliberate.

“You were moaning so pretty for me last night,” he murmured. “Now look at you. Dripping in a fucking library.”

You bit down on your pencil.

“If someone comes back here—”

“Then you better keep quiet.” His fingers

slid deeper, just shy of slipping inside.

“Be a good girl.”

Your hips bucked instinctively, and Yangyang grinned.

“You like being edged like this, huh?” he whispered. “Been thinking about it all day, haven’t you?”

You didn’t answer. Couldn’t.

He moved his fingers faster, but still shallow. Not enough to satisfy, just enough to torment.

“Bet your subscribers would love to see this,” he said. “You all spread out at a library desk, stuffed full of my fingers, trying not to cry.”

“Yangyang—”

“You’d put on a good show, wouldn’t you?” His lips brushed your temple. “Let them tip while you beg to cum. But I’d be the only one who actually gets to touch you.”

Your walls clenched hard.

He leaned in close, voice like velvet and venom.

“Say it.”

You whined under your breath. “Say what?”

“Say you’re mine.”

You turned to look at him—flushed, lips parted, pupils blown wide.

“I’m yours.”

And then—only then—did he let you cum.

Later that night, you were back at your place. Still sore. Still dizzy from the orgasm he wrung out of you with two fingers and a threat.

You didn’t plan to stream.

But something burned inside you.

A need to push the line. To play again.

To see if he’d crack.

So you went live.

Red lace. Lights low. Fingers already glistening.

It was supposed to be short. Just a teaser stream. Something to keep the top tippers active. But then someone new joined.

"S!nner773". You’d never seen the username before.

He tipped $300 within five minutes.

Then $200 more.

“Tell me how wet you are, baby. Want to hear you moan.”

You smirked and kept going—figuring Yangyang was probably watching silently like he always did, getting off knowing only he had actually been inside you.

But then your private inbox pinged.

From P1nDown—Yangyang’s account.

P1nDown:
log off.

You blinked.

Another tip from S!nner773 rolled in:

“Spread it wider, babygirl.”

Then Yangyang messaged again:

P1nDown:
now.

Your heart slammed in your chest.

You hesitated. Just one second too long.

And the next thing you saw was your door swinging open.

Yangyang walked in—chest heaving, jaw tight, eyes locked on your still-streaming body on your laptop screen.

“You ignored me.”

You scrambled to pause the stream, heart in your throat.

“Yangyang—what are you doing—?”

He slammed the laptop shut.

“You’re mine. You said you were mine.”

“I—I was just putting on a show, I didn’t even respond to the messages—”

“You let someone else talk to you like that. Tip you like that.”

You opened your mouth. Closed it. Wetness already pooling again between your thighs.

“I’m not mad you streamed,” he said. “I’m mad you didn’t tell them who you belong to.”

“Yangyang…”

“Get on the bed.”

You froze. “What?”

“You wanna act like a toy for strangers?” His voice dropped. “Fine. But I’m the only one who gets to play with you.”

Your legs moved before your brain caught up.

Yangyang stalked toward you, dragging his hoodie off. “Tonight, you don’t cum until I say so. Again.”

You whimpered.

And then—he made you show him everything.

Made you keep the red lace on. Made you read the anonymous tips aloud while he edged you again and again. Held your wrists above your head while he fucked you open with his mouth, his hands, his cock—and all the filthy words he never dared say before.

“You gonna moan his name, baby?” he hissed. “Or mine?”

“Yours,” you gasped.

“Say it louder.”

“Yours—Yangyang, please—”

“Then don’t ever let anyone else think they can touch you again.”

He didn’t let you cum for nearly an hour.

And when he finally did?

You moaned.

And he didn’t even care if the neighbors heard.

© imhaechanshoe 2025

[flaminhotlem0n]

𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙖 𝙣𝙪𝙙𝙚

smut mdni

pairing: wayv x f!reader

cw: sexual content, accidental nude, mutual pining, dirty texting

not proofread

──────────────────────

KUN

you didn’t even have time to process the horror.

a full nude. sent. to kun.

you: KUN I’M SO SORRY OH MY GOD PLEASE DELETE THAT

he was typing.

kun: you want me to pretend I didn’t see it?

you: YES. PLEASE. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. I SWEAR.

kun: accident or not, it’s in my head now

kun: and now I can’t stop imagining your legs over my shoulders

you blinked. stomach dropping.

kun: next time, just call me over. I’d rather feel than see

TEN

you saw the notification and your soul left your body, you’d just sent your nude to ten.

you: OH MY GOD TEN PLS DELETE IT PLS IT WASN’T FOR YOU

ten: wow

ten: didn’t know you kept that kind of thing in your gallery

you: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I SWEAR

ten: I liked the accident very much

ten: next time, let me help pose you, Ihave ideas and a camera

you were dead. fully, completely dead.

WINWIN

you realized the mistake before it even finished uploading. a full nude sent to winwin. fuck

he was online. and his reply came faster than you expected

winwin: wow

you: I swear it was an accident, I didn’t mean to send that to you, omg I’m so embarrassed

winwin: stop

winwin: you think I’m mad?

you didn’t know what to say.

winwin: I’m hard

you nearly dropped your phone.

winwin: now imagine what’ll happen if you show up at my place looking like that.

winwin: fyi, the door is unlocked

XIAOJUN

you saw his name and your stomach turned.

“photo sent to xiaojun.”

and before you could send him a message saying to not open the photo, your phone lit up.

Xiaojun. FaceTime

you froze. he saw it.

you answered with shaking hands.

“did you mean to send that?” he asked, voice low.

you opened your mouth, but no sound came.

he smirked.

“because if you did, you just ruined me. I’ve been hard since I saw it and I can’t stop imagining you laying here, naked, looking like you belong to me”

he tilted the camera slightly, just his boxers, and he was hard

“next time you want to tease me like that, be ready to finish what you start”

HENDERY

“photo sent to hendery”

great. hendery, from all people you sent accidentally to him

you didn’t even bother to say anything else, at this point, you were only expecting his exaggerated reaction

and the answer came quickly

hendery: oh

hendery: oh my fucking GOD.

hendery: why would you do that to me

you: OF COURSE I DIDN’T MEAN TO SEND TO YOU

hendery: I was literally drinking water and choked

hendery: this photo needs to be in a museum

hendery: or in my mouth idk

you: HENDERY

hendery: I’m not even joking, I’m painfully hard rn

hendery: wanna see it???

you: DO NOT DARE

too late. he sent you a photo. his hand holding his very hard dick

and you liked it

YANGYANG

you just sent your nastiest dirtiest nude to yangyang.

by accident.

perfect.

you: YANG PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT IT

you: DELETE IT

you: IT WASN’T FOR YOU OH MY GOD

yangyang is typing…

then he stops

yangyang is typing…

yangyang: ok but like

yangyang: why do you look so fuckable in it

you: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

yangyang: my dick doesn’t think so

you: STOPPPP

yangyang: no because now I’m picturing you riding me with that exact look

yangyang: fuck. now I gotta touch myself.

yangyang: unless you wanna come over and help?

[onmyneo]

SHITTY ROMCOMS — a series of short smaus

your favorite romcoms reimagined with nct members

starring: dong sicheng, kim daeyoung, kim jungwoo, lee donghyuck

warning: all stories are written with a female reader in mind | specific warnings stated below

a/n: a coworker of mine recently got me into a movie watching craze (my letterboxd is michelle4terry btw if anyone cares..), but i’ve been watching a lot (at least between school and everything) of romcoms lately because i’m lowkey a sucker for them.. this is such a valentines-esque theme so i’ll probably do a part two when february rolls around but for now, here we are. if i do another part in february, lmk which romcom & idol you’d like to see together! i’ll try to upload once a week but since midterms are coming up, i’ll see how that goes 😵‍💫 thank you for clicking on ‘shitty romcoms’ and please do enjoy :)

🔖 taglist: open, leave a comment or send in an ask/message!

10 things i hate about you after yn’s younger sister, ning yizhuo, starts college at ncit, her ex immediately takes note of her. yn, being the older sister she is, won’t let what happened to her also happen to yizhuo. so what happens when said ex pays his friend to distract yn from keeping tabs on her younger sister?

starring: lee donghyuck & female!reader

featuring: ning yizhuo of aespa, zhong chenle of nct

college au, strangers to lovers warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, smoking

to all the boys i’ve loved before [coming jan. 16] yn writes a letter to each boy she has ever loved as a way to say goodbye to them, so what happens when all 3 letters, including one addressed to her brother’s boyfriend, gets sent out?

starring: kim daeyoung & female!reader

featuring: all of nct wish

high school au, ex-friends to lovers warnings: cursing, yushi & sion dating solely to fit the plot, incorrect ages (yushi & sion’s are flipped to better suit the respective characters)

flipped [coming jan. 30] all yn has ever wanted was for dong sicheng to like her back and all dong sicheng ever wanted was for yn to leave him alone, so what happens when their perspectives flip?

starring: dong sicheng & female!reader

featuring: nakamoto yuta of nct, etc.

high school au, neighbors/frenemies to lovers warnings: cursing

she’s the man [coming feb. 13] ncit has officially gotten rid of the women’s basketball team which leaves yn wanting to join the men’s. so when her school says no, she goes undercover as her twin at his school to play on their men's team.

starring: kim jungwoo & reader

featuring: jeong jaehyun, kim doyoung, etc.

college au, teammates to lovers warnings: cursing

[viasdreams]

⋆｡𖦹 ˚ 𓇼 ˚｡⋆

asking wayv “as a seahorse, could i get you pregnant?” !!

a/n: “via what is this???😱” WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS??? GOD FORBID A GIRL GETS A LITTLE SILLY🙄

[hencheri]

▸ 18+ mdni. | warnings. pussy eater!winwin <3, slight dubcon, panty kink, some anal stuff.

winwin's always pussy drunk. he eats it any hour of the day—give him the chance, he'll take it. there's not a make-out session where he doesn't end up with his head between your legs. sex has to include oral. if not, can he really consider himself satisfied?

it's not his fault, really, that you taste so sweet. you always say you don't taste anything when he brings his soaked fingers to your lips, but he begs to differ—it's subtle, almost sugary, like cotton candy. he swears he's never been so strongly addicted to something like this before, but he can't help it. he needs your cunt in his mouth.

and he only has to ask to have it. sometimes he doesn't even need to say anything, you just let him take what he wants 'cause winwin just deserves it. he eats you out whenever—in bed when you're scrolling on your phone, on the couch when you're both supposed to be watching a movie, in the shower, in the car just after getting out of the restaurant... he even wakes you up with his head between your legs.

"sorry... taste so sweet, baby. couldn't help it," he sheepishly admits, but he doesn't feel bad. not at all. your fingers pull at his long hair, gripping tightly, winwin whining with a mouthful of your pussy, kissing and sucking and slurping.

he also has a major panty kink. like, the biggest. how can he not love it? the way your panties cup your pussy has to be the most sinful sight ever. his mind goes wild when you show him your new pairs, trying on each one, his jeans becoming tighter and tighter as he stares at the pretty bump of your pussy.

you should know that he doesn't have much self-control, that whatever filthy thought he's thinking about he'll probably act on it. you gasp when you find yourself pinned to the bed, landing on your stomach, winwin climbing on top of you. he doesn't waste any time, too eager to wait, too horny to make sure you're okay.

"f-fuck," he shakily curses, moan after moan spilling out of his lips as he ruts his hips against your ass, pretty cock nestled under your panties. the friction makes it all so much better, fucking your panties like a desperate little puppy, panting loudly, hands holding your hips up to his crotch. "those are my favourites, so pretty," he says, hooking his finger under the band of your underwear.

winwin's a messy eater, too. he's messy, but he's careful, really attentive. he may be driven by his desires a bit too blindly, he's still listening to all of your moans and cries, paying attention to the tugs on his hair, making his scalp sting. he always dives in directly, sometimes quickly kissing your thighs, maybe leaving marks if he feels really needy.

he treats your pussy so well, his experience clearly showing. he never uses his fingers much—he prefers to taste everything, dip his tongue in your hole, tease all of your sensitive nerves and make you arch your back off the bed just with his mouth and his pink, plump lips. he gets spit everywhere, eating like it's his last meal, even though he'll probably get a second taste later that day. he eats your pussy like he really means it.

but sometimes... he gets a little lower, exploring somewhere he knows makes you really sensitive and squirmy. you flinch when the tip of his tongue covers your other hole, you're not sure if you really like it, but winwin always wants to try, always wants to tease it just a little. maybe he would never actually go further than a couple of licks and kisses, he still loves the sounds you make when he puts his wet tongue on your rim, seeing your pussy clench around nothing but air.

[blue-jisungs]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ WELCOME TO THE NEO CULTURE TECHNOLOGY RANCH, PARTNER ! 🧸ྀི — featuring taeyong, johnny, yuta, kun, sicheng, jeno, sion, sakuya

[ extras ] word count 4,55 (in total) but varies 459-639 per member. more specific warnings written b4 works, in general: petnames, guns, alochol, swearing, hunting in kun's but no blood or violence. this is set in a cowboy/ranch/wild west setting and includes slang and words inspired by those vibes <3 some are established relationship, some are not! its truly a mix n match :3

ੈ✩‧₊˚ note ! as i told u. its here. istg i just started w 4 members but look at me go. literally wrote 3/4 of this in one sitting (took me 4 hours lmao) i hope u enjoy!!! let me know whatchu think of this kinda,, nct u moment format :D also i still have more ideas... so lmk if youd be willing to read a pt2 w other members >_<

@kstrucknet ˙ . ꒷ 🐎 . 𖦹˙— @neocity-net

┆彡 TENNESSEE WHISKEY — taeyong. includes petnames (darlin', honey, wife), alcohol consumption. word count 459.

"long day?" your voice, like the sweetest melody, brought taeyong back to reality. he was sitting slumped over the table, plans and papers scattered over the counter. the ice in his glass melted long ago, only watering down his whiskey. "you seem tuckered out."

"as hell" he replied, voice raspy. leaning on his elbows, his bloodshot eyes trailed over the schemes once again. "i sent the boys to town. 'grab food, look around' i said. and what? poor riku got his eye all swollen, chenle too. well, chenle deserved it. they caused trouble again, especially when we need to stay low" he grunted, running his fingers through his hair.

the yellow light from his lamp flickered, the only source of light in the room.

"i'm tired" he mumbled.

the soft echo of your steps sounded through the room. taeyong felt your presence behind his back.

"i know, honey" you hummed, hands resting on his shoulders. you began to massage them gently, trying to get rid of knots.

"after the train heist… i need a goddamn break. we will get enough money to survive for some time" taeyong murmured, head dropping low. he let out a slow groan, your fingers working miracles on his sore muscles. "i love those bastards but i wish we could have some time alone for more than a week."

you hummed in response, slightly increasing pressure on his neck. another satisfied groan escaped him.

"right here, darlin'" he slurred, his eyes closing.

"enough planning for today. you had a rough day, you need to rest" you leaned over and your lips were next to his ear. the faint scent of whiskey tickled your nostrils. "i can scratch your back to sleep if you want?"

"mhm…" he suppressed a yawn and shivers ran down his spine as your lips ghosted the shell of his ear. then, you gently pushed his shoulder.

"c'mon, boss. i promise you, we can spend some time alone. why don't you ask mark or johnny to take over for a month? and we'll be back. after a well deserved break" you helped him stand up, his body heavy from exhaustion and alcohol. you grabbed the plans and lead your husband to your shared bedroom.

"sounds nice…" he agreed and threw himself on the bed. you hid the plans where he always kept them — and only you knew the spot. his tired eyes watched you carefully, filled with love.

"i need my husband for myself too, y'know?" you teased before joining him in bed. you turned the light off, only the gentle light from starry sky slipping through your window.

"anything my wife wants… i will… fulfill…" the scary gang leader slurred, slumber taking over his body as your soft scratches lulled him.

┆彡 SMOKED WOOD — johnny. includes petnames (sugar, darlin', misses), suggestive. word count 614.

days on the ranch were hectic lately. the boys left a couple days ago, with their return date remaining unknown. only the youngest stayed, along with renjun, yangyang, jisung, kunhang, mark, and johnny. surprisingly, taeyong's left hand insisted on staying on the ranch. "in case any thugs come looking for trouble" he reasoned.

the memory of his words made your body react reflexively, eyes rolling and tongue clicking. as if you didn't know how to handle your guns.

johnny irritated you in general and you weren't sure why. perhaps because he was unlike others. he treated you like a lady. and among those savages, you weren't sure if that's a mocking or flattering manner. he always insisted you stayed put, out of danger. that meant doing the most boring chores.

speaking of which.

you finished your black coffee and grabbed your hat off the table. just from looking outside the window you could tell the weather was scorching hot and you didn't want to risk a sun burn. rolling your sleeves up, you left your crib.

"let's get it over with" you grunted to yourself. wood chopping was never your favorite, but you came to terms with it. you'd rather do it alone than let ryo or sakuya get hurt.

among other girls on the ranch you were the strongest. so naturally, the daunting task fell on you shoulders. on the other hand, you preferred to sweat for a little while and get your arms sore than milking cows or disposing literal shit.

if johnny had never joined, you could have been hunting with the others right now.

a rhythmic sound reached your ears. your brows furrowed, and thanks to your hat that protected your sight from the blinding sun rays, you were able to spot the source right away.

speak of the devil.

johnny was chopping wood. it made your blood boil… but it was tempered by the sight in front of you.

his bare arms. flexed and nicely toned from all the hard work he did. sweat was glistening on his honey colored skin, dripping down his forearms. in his white tank top, that was almost drenched, and allowed you to see a glimpse of his formed torso. his hair was glued to his damp forehead, which he wiped with his hand after tossing away the chopped wood.

"you look like you're about to devour me, misses"

you didn't even realize your mouth went dry and gaze turned hungry. maybe johnny wasn't so bad after all?

"i am. mind telling me why you're here? you're barkin' at a knot, suh." you approached closer, the smell of wood mixing with the smell of his sweat and cologne. his ebony eyes turned into crescents, cat-alike smirk dancing on his stupid… stupidly kissable lips…

"i'm just helpin' you out, sugar" he fiddled with the axe in his hand. you crossed your arms, cocking an eyebrow.

"no need. i can handle my wood" you barked, trying to yank the axe from him. but he was faster, sneakier. one hand swiftly grabbed both of your wrists in a tight gasp, the other ramming the axe into the tree stump. he pulled you closer, now his smell filling all your senses.

"oh i'm sure you can, darlin'" johnny hummed, eye contact so intense you thought sparks would fall. "don't strain yourself, will ya? i'd have to give you a massage"

he let go and winked before walking away. leaving you speechless, you weren't sure if the wood smelled like him or the other way around.

you decided to pour out your emotions - whether anger cracking like fire or adoration that slowly bloomed in your heart - on those wood pieces.

┆彡 SALOON FLIRT — yuta. includes petnames (darlin', doll), alcohol consumption, weapons. word count 518

tying your horse securely to a fence post, all you could think about was a cold glass of whiskey. you could almost taste the bitter, rye flavor at the tip of your tongue. you just wanted to relax after a long, tiring day of chasing cattle that this mush-head haechan let escape.

with your cowboy shoes still stained in mud and dirt, you walked into the loud and buzzing saloon. the cheerful melody that someone was playing on the piano was almost falling deaf on your ears due to the loud chatter of men inside. here and there you saw familiar faces, also resting at the end of the day.

hands in your pockets, you walked to the bar. without needing to say a word, the barman already started preparing your usual. you leaned against the counter, head hung low, hat almost falling. you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, the smell of tobacco, alcohol, and sweat filling your lungs. every muscle in your body was itching with pain and strain. oh, you sure will be sore tomorrow.

ice in the glass clanked, and you opened your eyes to see your drink. just when you were placing money on the counter, someone put their tin. you shifted your gaze and saw a handsome man with a smirk adorning his lips.

"this one's on me, darlin'" he hummed, voice deep and husky. you tipped your hat and took a sip. you could feel life flowing back into you, liquor muting the strain in your muscles. the stranger didn't peel his eyes off you for one bit. "are you new here? i haven't seen you before."

"not new, just not from around here" you replied. "could say the same about you, partner"

"pretty much the same." he shrugged, tracking the rim of his glass with his finger. a colt was sitting nicely in his holster — he must've noticed you're eyeing his weapon. "you got sand, don't ya? ogling my darlin' like that"

"i got my lover with me too" you bit back, flexing your own weapon and tossing it on the counter top. the man just scoffed, and you took another sip. "what's your name?"

"yuta" his tone was playful, his dark eyes shining with mischief. you put your gun back to your holster. with a roll of your eyes, you moved closer. "and yours, doll?"

"listen here, yuta. how 'bout that: you treat me to one or two drinks more and i show you that i ain't a doll in the slightest" you glared at him. if he wanted a fragile lady to spend a night with, he was oh so far away from that.

"bet. whatcha like? i'll pay for everything your heart desires" yuta called the barman over.

and once you were content, with whiskey running in your system, you showed yuta what you really meant.

by making him chase you on your horse, deep into the night under starry sky. townspeople thought you were a pair of looneys, yelling and laughing but no; it was just a beginning of a story of two wild hearts.

┆彡 DEER HUNTER — kun. includes petnames (doe), hunting (no explicit descriptions tho). word count 639

"are you sure about that?" kun asked, worried. you remained silent stubbornly, zipping your shoes. the cheerful yells of your companions came from outside, as if there was not a single worry in the world.

"yes, kun. i need to get some fresh air, and i need— i have to do something useful for once!" you grunted, grabbing his hat.

"but you do, you take care of the gang, and- and everyone loves your meals" he started but just let out a sigh when he saw the determined look in your eye.

"just once, kun. i know how to shoot" you grunted and your features softened upon looking into his ebony eyes. "i learned from the best, ya know?"

he just scoffed and took his hat from you, only to messily shove it onto your head. pulling it down on purpose, so it fell over your eyes.

"hey!" you yelped.

"your sugar coatin' ain't gonna do anything here. let's go. but remember, if you puke on me… i'm gonna leave you in the woods" he warned but you know well those were empty threats. he loved you too dearly.

thanks to his horse's stamina, you were on the hunting ground sooner than you expected. you observed as he traced the trail, fingers shoving away fallen leaves.

"see here? a deer was nearby." kun pointed at the fresh tracks and bite marks on some plants. "stay low and follow me"

you fixed you bow on your back and crouched down. the breeze was pleasant and hopefully helped mask your scent. kun would stay focused on hunting down the deer, but occasionally looked back through his shoulder to check up on you. finally, he froze. hiding behind a bush, he grabbed your hand and pointed at something.

"look" his voice was barely a whisper.

there it was.

a cute, pretty doe. white spots on her fur made it easier to spot it. she peacefully gnawed on grass, unaware of what's about to happen. you reached for your bow and as silently as you could, you drew it. the feather fletching gently tickled your cheek as you aimed. kun was watching you closely, syncing his breathing with yours.

your blood was rushing, primal instincts suddenly awaking. you released the arrow.

the air was cut with a swish! but… the arrow landed in the ground, mere centimeters from your prey. it hopped away, startled.

"damn it" you grunted through your teeth, lowering your bow. then, you landed a punch on kun. "why didn't ya tell me i will miss?"

''what's the point of learning if you don't discover the mistakes yourself?" he laughed.

"i'm gonna hunt you! hunt you and chop, and serve for dinner tonight!" you threatened him through giggles, shoving yourself onto him. kun played along, flipping you onto the ground in no time.

"yeah? i'd like to see you try!" he snickered, tossing your bow aside. the ground was cold, leaves rustling underneath your back and dirt covering your clothes but you didn't care. wrapping your legs around his hips, you pulled him closer, small branches cracking nearby.

"take this, hunter!" you teased and in one swift move, nibbled at his ear. kun let you play and squirm, trying to release from his grip. but just when you thought you can flip him over again, he leaned in and started pressing hot kisses along your jawline, down to your neck and your collarbone. this left you speechless.

"i think i win this one, my pretty doe" he hummed, looking at you through his hooded eyes. you were breathing heavily whereas he didn't seem to break a sweat. a playful smirk danced on his lips as he stood up and reached out his hand to help you. "now, let's try again. we ain't comin' back until you hunt somethin' for real."

┆彡 GUNS'N'ROSES — sicheng. includes guns, shooting. word count 463.

the soft click of a gun reloading made sicheng's skin crawl, instantly making him freeze even before hearing the order:

"don't move one inch, rascal"

his heart was thumping in his chest like a stallion galloping through fields. it was not supposed to look like that.

"turn around, will ya?"

he did, painfully slowly. hands in the air, teeth clattering. when he did and saw you, his eyes widened.

"don't act surprised, partner. you thought could trespass freely? well, maybe if you were a sheep, i'd let you go" you grunted, let letting go your shotgun, still aimed at him. "you ain't a sheep but you sure do look like a scared deer!"

his eyes were wide, truly scared and limbs trembling like an animal caught in a trap. he was speechless, just staring.

admiring your beauty.

ever since he saw you in that saloon, he fell head over heels. he was not used to women like you, though. living in a small town, nowhere near open fields and mean cowgirls like you.

snarly, wild, dangerous… currently pointing a gun at him.

and he swore he just fell more.

"i'm talking to you!" you grunted, after your question fell deaf on his ears. you aimed at the sky and fired a warning shot, sicheng letting out a scared yelp. his body jerked, chest moving up and down maniacally.

you're crazy. actually lunatic!

"i'll ask one last time and you better listen up close: what are you doing on my ranch?" you snarled, the sound of reloading your gun making shivers run down his spine.

"i– well, um, i figured i… i pay you a visit! i've got you somethin'" sicheng wasn't even sure if you understood him through his clattering teeth.

you seemingly did, as you pointed with your gun at his hand.

"r-right, this! i got you this!" he grinned, finally remembering the rose he brought you. it was one hell of a ride to get it, he had to pay–

"drop it on the ground and leave unless you want a hole in your head" you said calmly, the corner of your lips twitching subtly.

he did and swallowed, wide eyes still glued to you.

"shoo! you got a death wish or somethin'?" you yelled out and sicheng ran off with a yelp.

he heard you laughing. he turned around to take a peek – you were now holding the rose in your hand… and laughing.

he took it as a good sign. maybe next time–

a loud bang, and pieces of ground and small rocks splattered next to him. a warning shot that landed mere millimeters next to his feet.

"yeah, yeah, i'm goin' now!" he yelled out and decided not to tempt the devil anymore.

he'll be back next week.

┆彡 BEEF JERKY — jeno. mention of alcohol, word count 471

"are you sure you wanna do this, sugar?" you teased, your hand resting above your eyes to block the sun. jeno nodded almost maniacally, more ready than ever.

finishing chewing up on your beef jerky, you just shrugged.

"why are we doing it, again?" you asked, finally reaching for your lasso

"so you could train your skills on a living target" jeno replied. right.

as if you're not the best at handling the herd. but jeno is pretty new around here, having joined just two months ago. he hasn't seen you in action yet — and who are you to turn down an opportunity to tie down and embarrass a man?

a big, beefed man at that.

the salty aftertaste of dried meat in your mouth made you lick the cavern of your lips, tsking your tongue at the end.

"fine by me" you hummed, gripping your lasso. you stretched it loose and held the end in your non dominant hand. the ending with the loop rested in your other one.

"what on earth are you doing? do you want to kill the guy?" haechan's voice was amused.

"good, we have a crowd. now watch and learn, everybody." you grinned at winked at jeno.

he started to regret his idea. what did haechan mean by that, exactly?

"are you just gonna stand there, fool?" you yelled out, starting to whip your lasso. drawing bigger and bigger circles in the air, jeno's throat began to go dry.

"i advise you to run while you still can!" haechan laughed.

jeno's legs jerked involuntarily, carrying him as far away as they could.

whiiiiiiiiiiiiish!

harsh restraint suddenly gripped him, bringing his arms together. like a tied piece of meat, he couldn't budge. but he could still run, as his legs remained free.

"you think… you can… run?" you breathed out, digging your heel in the sand. he had strength. but no balance.

so with a sudden, forceful tug, he fell in a heap with a thud. the lasso bruising his bare arms, he felt himself getting dragged closer. you struggled a bit, he was a muscular man after all.

"holy shit, he fell faster than mark after a sip of bourbon!" haechan called, and jeno could swear the ringing in his ears might not be his imagination.

you walked up closer to him, leaning over and checking up on him.

and this fool was smiling.

"oi, you need help? did y/n cause you trouble?" you heard johnny's voice.

"don't save him!" you replied, grabbing him by his shirt. his eyes were focused on you, that stupid grin asking to be teared off his face. "he's exactly where he wants to be!"

with a snort, you stood up and left him. mid-bite on your beef jerky, you heard him yell:

"wait, can we do it again?"

┆彡 WILD RIDE — sion. includes petnames (kinda? good girl lol), horse riding - bare in mind im no specialist so if any horse enjoyers sense some bullshit. no u didnt. word count 567

sion had an awful, gut wrenching crush on you. it didn't help that he was shy as hell, trying to occupy his mind with something else. every time he saw you, his eyes looked away. for the past few days, you were trying to approach him. key word: tried. he always kept running away, like a scared deer.

today was hot, sun prickling at his skin. he ditched his flannel somewhere on the fence, only pulling his hat lower. the sound of his horse's scoffs were a sign of protest but he had to train her.

"i know, baby, i know. you've been causin' me trouble lately, that's why we are doin' it" he patted the animal's neck, his hips swaying rhythmically to the horse's walk rhythm.

"oh sion!"

he froze in the saddle, grip loosening on the reins. you had him caged, as he was in the training field. he looked up and saw you leaning over the fence, waving your hand at him. guess he had to face it.

slowly, trying to seem casual, he approached you. your eyes watched his horse with adoration.

"howdy, y/n." he greeted you, tipping his hat. from his horse he had a nice view. you looked so pretty, sun kissed, with a twig between your teeth. you chewed on it, eyes not leaving his horse.

"you seem to be avoiding me, oh. and i have a question" you said and finally looked up, tossing the twig somewhere in the ground. sion gulped, trying to remain calm on his horse.

"my bad. i've been busy." he offered you an apologetic smile.

"it don't matter no more. sion, can you teach me how to ride a horse? i'm ashamed to admit but… i ain't got a clue and it's embarrassing. we live on a goddamn ranch!" you grunted, pout forming on your lips. flattering your lashes, you looked him in the eye. "please?"

his horse grunted.

"fine…" sion swallowed hard. maybe it will bring the two of you closer and he will finally get to confess? hell, the bare fact of spending time alone with you was a price. "but let's start with something mild. mind opening the gate for me?"

you did so. sion left the training ground, his horse huffing again.

"stay put now." he patted her neck gently and then reached his hand out to you. "hop on. i've got you"

sion helped you get on and you were now sat in front of him. he figured you should be in a more comfortable position as he was used to it anyway.

"good girl" he grunted and blood came rushing to your cheeks. you weren't sure if he meant the horse or you, so you tried to stay calm. it was hard, though. his bare, toned arms were wrapped around you, your back glued to his chest; him basically towering over you.

sion rushed the horse and you squealed, not used to such movement.

"try to stay calm. horses can sense your feelings, fear included. try to observe how i operate and lead her. my girl's moody lately but maybe a short trip to the woods will cheer her up. hold on tight" sion said casually.

you passed by jaehee and riku, who just sent you thumbs up.

sure, their plan worked and you got what you wanted. you just weren't aware of the upcoming ride yet.

┆彡 HORSE KICK — sakuya. word count 581.

"i ain't gonna lie, i'm afeared!" sakuya trembled, looking at you with eyes wider than two plates. you fixed his hat and then moved his bangs so they wouldn't cover his eyes.

"you've got this, saku. i'll be here, i've got you covered" you hummed and patted his back, kneeling on the ground. shaping your hands into a small platform. "hop on, boy"

"are you sure…" he mumbled but obeyed, stepping on your hands. you rose them up forcefully, helping him get on the horse. it scoffed, throwing its head.

"easy boy" you grunted, patting the animal's neck. sakuya grabbed the reins and fiddled with them nervously, heart thumping against his ribcage like a prey in a trap. "all comfortable in there, partner?"

"i think so!" he replied. he wasn't used to sitting in a saddle but it wasn't halfway bad as he imagined.

"okay, now listen up real close. remain calm. horses can sense your fear and you're trembling like a wet dog" you grunted and began to walk next to them. "you're a tenderfoot now but i''ll teach you how to ride a horse like a real cowboy— woah!"

the horse started huffing and snorting, wiggling its head lively.

"hey, calm down!" you yelled.

"me or the horse?" sakuya asked, panic in his voice. all his muscles were tensed, panic written all over his face.

"ya both!" you said, trying to calm the horse down. you predicted sakuya would be nervous and for a first ride you specifically chose the calmest horse on the ranch. but he was acing up, starting to kick his back legs. "hold on tight, partner!"

"i'm trying!" sakuya screeched, his hat bouncing on his head, mere seconds from falling off. the horse began kicking harder, clearly wanting to throw the newbie off. the boy was bouncing in the saddle, grunting painfully as the jumps almost sent him flying.

quite frankly, you were shocked he was still holding on.

"y/n make it stop, please!" he whined, squeezing his eyes shut.

"well, you got your first rodeo now!" you tried to ease his nerves. you remained at a safe position, and tried to calm the horse down, talking softly to the animal: "hey, please, calm down. you're scarin' him. easy, easy boy"

it seemed to work, the horse listening and calming down gradually. once it was calm, you glanced at sakuya, his face as pale as a wall. tying the horse to the fence, you helped sakuya get off.

on his wobble legs, he immediately glued himself to you, hugging you close. patting his back gently, you realized his hat eventually did fall off.

"i'm sorry, saku, i don't know what got him so moody" you whispered, calming the boy down. you could practically feel his heart thumping against his ribcage, heavy breathing against your neck.

sakuya slowly began to relax, breath becoming more stable. he just squeezed you closer.

"it's fine, i'm in one piece" he mumbled, deep voice shaky. you caressed his dark locks in a soothing motion, glaring at the horse.

"maybe it was a bad idea. we don't have to do it no more if you're scared" you hummed. you felt him smiling against your skin.

"y'know what? i kinda liked it"

with a scoff you leaned away and scanned his face. brushing his bangs out of his eyes, which glued to his forehead with sweat. despite his body still slightly trembling, he flashed you a boyish smile.

"let's try again!"

masterlist <3

taglist. @l3visbby ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @mon2sunjinsuver ,, @w3bqrl ,, @zeesturniolo ,, @mjupis ,, @jvkeslvr ,, @lvrhyuck ,, @lexeees ,, @eternalgyu ,, @haecien ,, @slytherinshua ,, @callisrecords ,, @yuyumaz3 ,, @ali1ya

[ilichl]

thinking about nice guy!winwin who actually isn't a very nice guy at all :( he's your best friend. a sweet, loving, great guy who you tell everything to. rant about other boys, about your job, about friend drama, about all of the trials you go through on a daily basis. he has a raging crush on you, but you could never see him in that way :( he's cute, but you could never imagine him in a romantic, or even worse, a sexual light. 

noncon, manipulation, name calling, risk of pregnancy, ww says sorry a lot, reader cries and cries and cries, he's so sweet even when he's violating you :( … eventually, again this is pure noncon winwin is not a good person. do not read if this isn't your cup of tea. this is NOT consensual

poor winnie was oblivious to the fact that you just didn't see him in that way, though. he thought that all of the time spent together, the stolen glances, asking for his jacket whenever it was chilly outside, that it meant more than it actually did — that you saw him in the same way he saw you.

countless nights he'd spend underneath the covers stroking his cock, thinking about how your first time together would be. how he'd take his time exploring you. how he'd kiss every inch of you body. how pretty you'd look underneath him. how your cunt would clench around him like he was a perfect fit for you. 

poor sicheng was obsessed with you, and you were none the wiser. 

this was going to change soon, though. today was the day that he finally was going to confess his feelings for you.

he didn't want to go too over the top and scare you away. no flowers. no date. he was just going to bring it up while the two of you were watching a movie together in his apartment. 

the credits rolled, and you weren't too impressed with that movie. "wow, that movie was a little boring, don't you think?" you started, taking a sip of your soda.

"yeah, it was," he mumbled. he couldn't care less about the movie. it could have been a cinematic masterpiece. but all he could think about in this moment was you. "listen, i need to talk to you about something.”

oh? you were caught off guard, for sure. "talk to me? is something wrong sichengie?" you replied, a trace of concern in your tone.

"no, no, nothing's wrong," he clarified, clearing his throat so that he could get his words out. "nothing's wrong at all.”

"then what is it?" you urged, growing more confused.

silence. and then, he spills everything.

"i... like you. like, as more than a friend," he began, his gaze shifting away from yours. "i always have. you're beautiful. you're smart. you're kind. you're funny. you're everything i could ask for in someone. you're amazing... i know this is coming out of nowhere but. yeah. i have feelings for you.”

as the words spilled out of his mouth, pangs of guilt began to rise up in your chest. 

you didn't feel the same way. not at all. 

you didn't know why you didn't feel the same way. sicheng was sweet. doting. loving. and he was stunning, too. he could be a model if he wanted to be. he was the perfect and complete package, but something just stopped you from being able to find him attractive in that way.

and now you had to crush his heart.

"listen, that's really sweet," you began. "really, i appreciate it so much but i... i just don't... i don't like you in that way, winnie, i'm sorry.”

you could practically see his heart shattering in real time as you said the words. tears began to pool up in his eyes, and his lips quivered just slightly.

"sichengie, i'm sorry," you repeated, not knowing what else to do, what else to say. if you should say anything at all. 

more silence. you could hear a quiet sob slip from his lips as he broke in front of you, trying his hardest to keep it all together. 

“listen, winnie. you’re a good guy. you’re sweet, you’re kind, you’re—”

“but not good enough for you.” he cut you off, bitterness laced in his words. “i’m good enough to listen to all of your fucking problems. listen to you talk about dejun, and hendery. and ten. and all of the random fucking guys you whore around with all the time but i’m not good enough to —”

you looked terrified as his dejection turned into venom. his face twisted up into a scowl. he noticed how hurt you looked by his words and he immediately softened.

“sorry. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean that i’m just— yeah. sorry,” he lowered his voice again, a shameful look creeping upon his face.

you didn’t know what to say. you’ve both experienced a range of emotions in the past 10 of so emotions — none of them good. you figured it was better for you to call it a night and talk about this when sicheng was a little more stable. when the rejection wound wasn’t so fresh.

you stood up from the couch. “look, sicheng, i’m sorry. i think it’d be better if i went home for the night, we can talk about this with a clearer head sometime. i’m sorry.”

with one last apology, you began to walk towards the door, but sicheng stood up with you. in one swift motion, he grabbed your arm and slung you back onto the couch. 

it happened so fast, that you couldn’t even react to it before another apology fell from his lips. “i’m sorry.”

you looked up at him with pure fear in your eyes. you’ve never seen him like this. ever. you didn’t know if you should attempt to fight back, or just take whatever he had in store for you, but when you attempted to pull yourself off of the couch, he pushed you back down, climbing on top of you right after.

you were overpowered. he was stronger, and taller than you, too. he pinned your arms above your head, and spoke softly. “let me show you how good i can be to you,” he purred, leaving a soft, gentle kiss to your neck after.

his hand found it’s way between your legs – you cursed yourself for wearing a skirt today. if you wore pants, he’d have to do a lot more work to access you. tire himself out. and then you’d have a chance to get away, but instead, you were easy access. 

you didn’t move. you didn’t speak. you *couldn’t* speak. you felt like you had entered some kind of fucked up nightmare. you couldn’t fathom that sicheng, cute, sweet, kind sicheng, was forcing himself onto you like a common animal. 

when he pushed your panties to the side, his fingers making contact with your pussy, you felt tears begin to well up in your eyes. even now, he was so gentle with you as if he wasn’t taking you against your will, that it made you feel confused. 

“you’re dry,” he spoke in a dejected tone as he began to rub your clit. of course you were dry, you didn’t want this. 

suddenly, the heat on your neck dissipated as he pulled away, his hand still working between your legs, trying desperately to make you wetter than you were. he grabbed the hem of your shirt and tried to pull it up, “help me get this off, yeah?” 

you didn’t want to make him angry again. even though he was still violating you, he was being sweet… or so he thought… and you didn’t want to experience the short burst of anger he has earlier again. you figured that with him acting like this, that’d make this whole thing more bearable, so you did what you were told, pulling your shirt up over your head, leaving your upper half completely exposed.

from then, he left a trail of kisses from your chest, down to your stomach, until he was lowered inbetween your legs. 

he hooked a finger inside your panties, pulling them down until they reached your ankles. you kicked them off, still fawning, still scared shitless of what he could do to you.

once your panties were gone as well, and the only thing on your body was your white pleated skirt, he spread your legs wider, before diving into you.

you wished he was worse at this. you wished he would fumble around, fail to find your clit, probably try to fuck his tongue into your hole like many guys before him thought felt good on your end (it did not.) you wished that he didn’t know what he was doing, but he did.

he lapped at your clit with vigor, swirling his tongue around it like it was nothing. you began to cry again, silently, tears streaming down your cheeks as he flicked his tongue against you. 

it felt good. it felt *great* even. but you couldn’t allow yourself to enjoy this. not when you didn’t want this. 

unfortunately, your body betrayed you. the way his mouth and his fingers worked in tandem with each other to bring you to your peak – or at least, make you wet enough to be able to take him in without it being horribly painful – made your stomach tighten with pressure. you cried harder. you were going to cum on his tongue, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. you were out of control with yourself. out of your own body. your back arched involuntarily as you came apart, tears coming harder and harder as you tried your hardest not to make a sound – the sound that did exit your lips was more like a scared whimper than a moan of ecstasy. once he was satisfied, he pulled away from your soaked cunt, making himself level with you again. “what’s the matter? why are you crying, princess?” he thumbed your tears away, softly and gently. “am i being too rough?” you didn’t quite know how to answer that. or if you should answer that at all. if you reminded him that what he was doing was, in fact, non consensual, he would likely get angry. you didn’t want to risk upsetting him. you quietly shook your head, and prayed and prayed that this would all be over soon. he freed his cock from his sweatpants and his boxers, already rock-hard and slick with precum. the good news was, he probably wasn’t going to last long. not a chance. he looked painfully hard, and he was obsessed with you. hopefully he’d cum before he even got it in. “tell me if it hurts too much, okay?” he assured you as he lined his cock up with your entrance. “i want our first time to feel good for you too.”

silence from you again. at this point, it was better for you to pretend you didn’t hear him whenever he said something. the intrusion was painful, no matter how much he prepared you. it didn’t help that he was pretty big. not the biggest you’ve ever been with, but enough to stretch you out. enough to make you squirm. at this point, you were sobbing as he bottomed out inside of you. you were so full, so stretched, you usually would love this feeling. you considered yourself to be a size queen, and you loved for it to hurt a little bit, but now it stung. you all but dissociated through the rest of it while he continued to fuck into you, violating you. you tried your best to tune it out, the pain, the grunts slipping past his lips, his pet names, his kisses, all of it, but you couldn’t. you were still there. stuck. until he decided he was done using you. “gonna cum inside,” he announced, and with that, you regained your voice. you begged him not to, begged him with all of your might, told him that you weren’t on birth control anymore, that you couldn’t get pregnant, telling him he could cum wherever he wanted – on your face, on your thighs, on your ass, wherever, just not inside you, but of course, he didn’t listen. “i’ve always wanted to get you pregnant,” he continues, as he fucked into you even harder, “you’d be such a good mother. so caring.”

with that, he rubbed your stomach, as if you were already knocked up. you felt a bit nauseous. 

and then, despite all of your pleading, he finished inside of you, the warmth feeling a bit comfortable despite the fact that there was nothing comfortable about this. nothing. in a matter of minutes. your best friend, the guy who you could depend on no matter what, took advantage of you right there on his couch. and there was nothing you could do about it.

he stayed inside for a little while before pulling out, running off to the bathroom to get a towel. you laid there, frozen, just as you’ve been the entire time. your biggest worry was making sure you weren’t pregnant. you wondered if you could get a plan b this late. everything was closed by now. you’d have to get one in the morning.

sicheng returned with the towel, cleaning you up gently, whispering words of praise to you, how you took it so well, how good you were for him, as if he had no idea that what he was doing, what he did, was deplorable. “do you want a bath?” he asked softly. you shook your head. you wanted to go home. you wanted to go home and never speak to him again. 

“mm, okay,” he responded, with that, he tossed the towel to the side and carried you to his bed, mumbling something about how he didn’t want you to sleep on the stuffy old couch. maybe you’d be able to get out of there whenever he fell asleep. once he laid you down, he pulled the comforter over you, kissing your forehead. “i love you.” he said, finally, before sliding into bed himself and turning the light off

[lovetaroandtaemin]

The "Unloved" Collection

OT18 NCT x fem!Reader

Total Word Count: 4,127 (shortest scene is 166 words, longest scene is 330 words) Genre: Fluff, angst, smut AU: Non idol AU Tropes: Strangers to FWB, lovers to strangers, first dates, brother's best friend, friends to FWB Rating: Explicit, MINORS DNI! Warnings: Swearing, alcohol use, sexual content (unprotected sex, mentioned oral), self destructive behavior, body image issues in Taeyong’s scene, reader feels pretty inadequate throughout the fic, objectification in Jaehyun’s drabble if you squint, Chenle gets a little misogynistic, Jeno is a dick that’s obsessed with working out, no happy ending

Summary: Snippets of a life spent craving connection while also running from it.

Nets: @cosyhomenet, @winerys-collection, @mnemosynesjournal

A/N: After multiple failed attempts at coming off of hiatus, I'm finally back! I'm really excited for you guys to read this one, because I haven't really tried anything like it before. I'd love to hear feedback! This one was heavily inspired by the song "Unloved" by Lisa Cimorelli and my own self destructive tendencies in relationships. And, last but certainly not least, I wanna thank @xomakara, @effervescentorbs, @raysramblings, @themoonlightfae, @spacequokka, and @nothoughtsjustfic for helping me brainstorm and listening to me talk about this story while I got ready to come back. I love you guys!

Taglist: @chugging-antiseptic-dye, @notyourjaem, @shadowkoo, @1-800-jewon Send me an ask or dm to be added or removed!

Fic is under the cut.

Nakamoto Yuta

The Friend that You Call when You Just Wanna Have a Good Time

It all started when your phone vibrated, your phone flashing with a notification for a text from Yuta.

Yuta: You awake? You: Yeah. Why? Yuta: I found a new bar a few towns over. You wanna go? You: I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Remember what happened last time? Yuta: Nope. That’s precisely why I’m asking. I’m bored and want somebody to get in trouble with. You: Fuck it. Let’s go.

Just like every other time you went out, Yuta picked you up after your roommates went to sleep for the night and drove you to the site of your latest adventure. The bar that your friend dragged you to this time was smaller than the ones you typically went to, but you didn’t necessarily mind that. After all, you weren’t there to socialize. You were there to drink until you could barely remember your own name in an attempt to numb the pain. Sure, you would barely remember what happened the next day, if you remembered anything at all, but maybe that was for the best, considering the things you liked to do when you were drunk and hurting.

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul

The Fuck Buddy that Says He Loves You because You Let Him Do Whatever He Wants

“I fucking love you,” Ten said with a loud groan as he pounded into you.  You were certain that he didn’t mean it when he said it, despite how many times he insisted he did, but you honestly couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Not when he fucked you hard enough that every ounce of pain that filled your heart was replaced by pure desire with every thrust. Sure, you knew that it was a temporary relief, a band-aid over the bullet holes that destroyed your sense of self and left you relying on empty distractions to get by, but you’d always thought that temporary relief was better than none at all.

Soft whimpers and moans fell from your lips as Ten continued to fuck you, and you held onto him for dear life. After all, you knew he wouldn’t stay after he was done. He did sometimes, mumbling soft promises that he wanted more than sex, but more often than not, he was gone as soon as the aftercare was done. You really didn’t know what was going to happen, so you were determined to keep him close for as long as you possibly could. Anything to feel something other than pain for once.

Lee Donghyuck

The Player that Thinks You'll be the One to Fix Him

Of course, you knew when you went home with Donghyuck that he only wanted sex from you. Did you care, though? No, you didn't. At least, not at first. You were just like him, looking for a good time and a little bit of attention with no real commitment. And for a while, that was exactly what you got.

Then, about a month after you started sleeping together, he started trying harder to keep a conversation going before he left for the night. As he helped you clean up, he asked you about your day, your dreams, and the things that made you happy. You really tried to dodge the questions, not wanting anything beyond a surface level connection, but he kept pushing.

"Seriously, what do you want more than anything?" he asked, looking at you differently than usual.

"I don't know," you answered once again. "Why do you even care anyway? I thought we were just fuck buddies."

"Well, I changed my mind about some things."

There was a moment of silence before you cautiously asked, "What things?"

"You," he answered, staring at you like you were the center of his world. You were silent in response, just shifting nervously in your spot, so he continued, "I wanna be more than just your fuck buddy. I don't know what it is about you, but you make me feel like I could be something better, and I like it."

"Yeah, sorry, but this isn't gonna work."

"What do you mean?" he asked, genuinely surprised by your reaction.

"You're not gonna use me to be a better person. That's not what this is."

"I'm not-"

"Get out."

Donghyuck stormed out of your apartment after that, and you collapsed into your bed and sobbed, asking yourself why you couldn't find someone that actually listened and respected you.

Lee Taeyong

The Pretty Boy that Makes You Wish You Were Beautiful

The first thing that people said about Taeyong when they saw him was that he was gorgeous. His eyes seemed to sparkle when he laughed. His voice was sweeter than even your favorite love song, the one that hadn’t been soured by years of feeling like love was too far out of your reach. His smile was like a personal ray of sunshine, always making the world around him a better place.

That was why it baffled you that Taeyong was willing to even be seen with you. You felt like you were everything that he wasn’t, and every day you wondered what made you so special. The fact that someone like him, the man that looked like Aphrodite herself crafted his smile, wanted someone like you, the person that couldn’t look in the mirror too long for fear of being driven insane by self-hatred, made no sense in your mind.

Maybe the differences that you saw between the two of you were why you walked away after a measly three dates. Why you told Taeyong that you didn’t want to see him anymore. As you told him that you didn’t think that the two of you were a good match, you considered telling him that it was nothing personal. That you just couldn’t ever see yourself measuring up to what he deserved.

Did you, though? Of course not. Instead, you gave a half-hearted explanation about incompatibility, which he could tell was a lie. He didn’t exactly try to stop you though, and you appreciated that. After all, if he did, you knew you’d break and tell him everything. And you couldn’t stand the idea of him seeing that you were just as weak as you were ugly.

Wong Kunhang

The Lovable Idiot You Only See Once

You could hardly believe how truly happy you felt when you met Kunhang at a party. He was funny, telling jokes that sounded ridiculous but never failed to make you laugh, and he was attentive, his focus never leaving you the entire time you were on the dance floor. In all honesty, it was strange. Was this the connection that you were so desperate for? Did you finally meet someone that could make you feel just a little bit less alone?

You never got to find out the answer to your question, since you heard someone call Kunhang’s name as you walked to the bar together. You tried to ask him for his number before he left, but before you could get the words out, he was lost in the crowd.

You wanted to be upset that you’d had another failed date, but in the end, you just couldn’t find it in you. Even though you were alone yet again, you still had fun with Kunhang, and you still had a silent hope in the back of your mind that one day you’d run into him again.

Kim Dongyoung

The Lover that You Want but Won't Allow Yourself to Have

Dongyoung was the one person that you hooked up with that you actually wanted a deeper connection with. The problem with that was that something felt off in a way that you couldn’t quite explain. You had no idea whether something really was off about him or if it was just your brain convincing you that you were unlovable again, though. Regardless, you still chose to keep your distance, refusing to let him get any closer than what was required for him to fuck you.

You knew that it was counterproductive to push Dongyoung away when he clearly liked you and wanted to get to know you better, but you couldn’t seem to stop yourself. That didn’t mean that you stopped yourself from hooking up with him, though. After all, he was pretty fucking good in bed, and whenever you were with him, you felt loved in a way that you just didn’t most of the time. And that made the uncertainty and confusion over what you wanted worth it.

Huang Renjun

The One-Time Lover that Sees Right Through You

After you and Renjun were dressed again, he gave you a knowing look and asked, “So, does this mean that you’re gonna leave now?”

You were surprised by his straightforwardness, but you still managed to say, “I mean, yeah. If that’s ok with you?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s fine. I figured you would, honestly.”

Surprised and offended by his completely correct assumption, you asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’ve hooked up with girls like you before,” he answered matter-of-factly.

“Girls like me?”

“I could tell exactly what you were doing from the second you walked into that bar and started looking at every man that gave you the slightest bit of attention like they hung the moon.”

“Oh really? What exactly was I doing?” you asked, frustrated by the almost-stranger that acted like he knew you better than you did.

“You go out to bars and hook up with people you barely know because you’re alone and can’t handle it. But every time somebody starts to get close, you push them away because you think you’re not worth loving, no matter how much you crave that feeling of loving someone and being loved back. Sound about right?”

“I-”

“Look, I’m not trying to judge. Just wanted you to know that I understand.”

His ability to read you like a children’s book stunned you into silence. With a defeated sigh, you sat back down on his bed and started to cry, suddenly overwhelmed by the complicated feelings floating around your head.

Renjun softened immediately when you started to cry, pulling you close and mumbling soft reassurances and apologies while you tried desperately to regain your composure. Eventually, you did, but even after you’d stopped crying, he begged you to stay the night, too worried about your wellbeing to feel comfortable with you leaving. You agreed, but you also swore to yourself you’d never sleep with Renjun again, no matter how much you loved the feeling of finally being understood.

Jeong Yunoh

The Friend that Thinks He Wants to be More

Every time you saw Jaehyun, he made a point to tell you just how beautiful you were and how happy he was to see you. Normally, you’d appreciate the compliment from your friend, since he was known in your friend group as the “king of cheering people up.” However, the almost seductive tone in his voice and the way he fidgeted whenever the two of you made eye contact made it clear to you that his intentions weren’t exactly platonic.

The problem with that was that you only saw Jaehyun as a friend, and you were certain that if he actually took the time to try and get to know you instead of just staring at you whenever you wore a skimpy outfit, he’d feel the same. But you knew that if you tried to tell him that, he wouldn’t listen, so you decided to just accept the compliments. After all, it was nice to feel wanted sometimes, even if you knew that it wasn't real.

Zhong Chenle

The Coworker that Thinks He Knows Better than You Do

You really tried to tune out your coworkers arguing, especially because you felt the argument was completely inappropriate for the office, but it was difficult with their loud volume and condescending tones.

“I’m telling you,” Chenle said from his cubicle. “Women like that don’t care about anything or anyone.”

“What do you mean by ‘women like that?’” you asked, butting into the conversation because you were sick of the bickering.

“The ones that go out to a different club every night to hook up with whatever poor sap is too distracted by how they look to think properly,” Chenle answered, uncharacteristically venomous.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit much?” Minhyung chimed in.

“No, I don’t,” Chenle said before turning back to his desk, signaling that he was done discussing it, even though he was the one that started the conversation by ranting about “women of today.”

You knew that you weren’t the only one tired of listening to Chenle’s rants at work, so you decided to take the logical next step and reported him to HR. Once you left for the day, though, you felt unbelievably drained. Sure, you knew that what he said wasn’t about you specifically, but it still bothered you. You wondered if it was because you knew that you were doing exactly what he was describing, but there was more to it than that. After all, it just showed how little he knew about the world and the people in it.

Na Jaemin

The Boy Next Door that Only Cares on the Surface

When you got back to your apartment building after work, you literally bumped into your neighbor, Jaemin. You tripped on one of the stairs and fell into him, and when he caught you, he asked, “Woah, you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, collecting yourself. “How are you doing, Jaem?”

“Great, actually,” he answered, completely oblivious to the fact that you were trying to get around him to get to your apartment. As he talked about his work and relationships, you tried to pay attention, but your mind frequently wandered to the cleaning that would need to be done once you actually got into your apartment.

After Jaemin finished talking, he moved around you and walked down the stairs, not even bothering to say goodbye. Part of you was relieved, just wanting to get home, but the other part of you was a little hurt that he couldn’t be bothered. In the end, though, you tried to tell yourself that you didn’t actually care about how alone you felt when no one even had the time for small talk.

Park Jisung

The Brother's Best Friend that Promises Not to Tell

When Taehyun told you that Jisung would be picking you up from the bar at the end of the night instead of him, you were far from thrilled. You loved your brother dearly, but you’d always hated his friends, particularly Jisung. He had the kind of arrogance that got under your skin like very little else could, he constantly spoke down to you and treated you like a dumb little kid, despite your closeness in age, and he was insanely gorgeous. Of course, the fact that he was one of the most attractive men you’d ever seen wasn’t why you hated him, but it did make being around him more frustrating than it had any right to be.

Still, even though you hadn't had anything to drink that night, you hated driving, so you were grateful that Jisung agreed to pick you up. So grateful, in fact, that you decided to set aside your frustrations for the night. You even repaid his kindness by taking him home and giving him “the best blowjob he’d ever had,” as he described it once you were done. After helping him clean up, you smiled and said, “Thanks again.”

“No problem. I’m always happy to help a friend out.”

There was a moment of silence before you asked, “You’re not gonna tell Taehyun about this, right?”

“Of course, not. I’m not that kind of person.”

You breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Ok, thanks,” before leaning in to kiss him again.

Xiao Dejun

The Lover that Should Be Perfect for You

Every moment with Dejun should have been magical. He treated you like a princess every time the two of you went out together, never leaving your side unless you needed something or explicitly asked him for space. Not that you ever asked for space much, though. He also made a conscious effort to listen when you spoke to him, taking in the details of every story you told like they were the only thing keeping him alive. He loved you, and that was plain for anyone with eyes to see.

So why did you feel so empty when you were with him? Why did every moment feel more like checking boxes and maintaining a routine than spending time with someone that you cared about? You had no idea, but you did know that there had to be something wrong with you, since everything about Dejun radiated love and warmth. The exact opposite of your heart that had frozen over because of years of pain and heartbreak.

Maybe that was why you ran, to avoid freezing his heart too.

Lee Jeno

The Gym Rat that Makes You Feel Like You'll Never Be Enough

Unlike your other potential lovers, you didn’t meet Jeno at a club or bar. Instead, you met him at the gym during yet another failed attempt at getting your life together. He’d been using the treadmill next to yours, and when you both finished up, you exchanged numbers. You tried not to think about it, but a small part of you was hopeful as you walked away with promises of a date.

When you finally went out with him, though, it was a disaster. You tried to suggest dinner at a restaurant, but he declined. When you asked him why, he said that none of the places in town that weren’t “mass produced garbage,” in his words, had any healthy options that were actually good. You wanted to tell him that you thought he was wrong, but you held your tongue while the feeling of inadequacy threatened to follow you whole.

Instead, Jeno suggested going back to the gym to “work off the day.” You were exhausted from work, though, so you tried to suggest something that required less energy so that the two of you could just chill and get to know each other. His response to that was, “I’m not gonna sit on my ass just because you can’t keep up.”

Needless to say, you never went on that date, and the hope that you’d felt when you first met him was squashed like a bug that didn’t make it across the sidewalk in time.

Dong Sicheng

The One-Time Lover that Thinks He Understands

“I know why you’re doing this,” Sicheng had said as you gathered your things to go home after your first night together.

“Oh really?” you asked, trying to sound playful instead of worried. “Why am I doing this, then?”

“You think I don’t wanna see you again.”

There was a beat of silence before you asked, “What?”

“Oh come on, it’s obvious,” he said. “I saw the way you looked at me before you grabbed your bag.”

“That’s not-”

“It’s ok. I’m not offended. But, for the record, I would totally be down to see you again.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m good,” you said as you finally walked toward the door.

Once you left Sicheng’s apartment, you breathed a sigh of relief. When he’d told you that he knew why you behaved the way you did, you expected him to analyze you the way Renjun had, leaving you stripped bare in a way that felt vulnerable instead of exciting. But in the end, it was nothing more than an assumption that you wanted something from him that you hadn’t allowed yourself to want from anyone in a long time.

Maybe he was right in thinking that deep down, you did want more of a connection with him, but you never let yourself see him again to find out. After all, even misplaced attempts at vulnerability could be painful.

Kim Jungwoo

The Friend-of-a-Friend that Just Wants to be Close to You

Technically, you’d known Jungwoo for about three years through mutual friends. but you weren’t sure that you considered him a friend, too. After all, he’d barely spoken to you beyond basic greetings at group events, and you knew next to nothing about him.

Maybe that was why it was such a surprise when he walked up to you at Shotaro’s birthday party, threw his arms around you, and said, “Hey! I missed you. How have you been?”

You stiffened at the contact but still said, “Fine. How are you?”

“I’m good! Just wanted to catch up a bit because it’s been a while.”

“Jungwoo, we saw each other three days ago.”

“So? I can’t ask how you’re doing?”

“I mean you can, but it feels a little weird. We’re not friends, so I don’t understand why you’re pretending we are.”

Jungwoo deflated at your comment and walked away. He was immediately replaced by Shotaro, who asked, “What the hell?”

“I’m sorry! I was caught off guard!”

“You didn’t have to be such an asshole about it! He just wanted to get closer to you.”

“Well closeness is a gradual process. You don’t act like someone’s your best friend right out of the gate.”

Shotaro sighed and said, “Look, just be patient. Please. And try to talk to him. He wants to be friends, but doesn’t know how to reach out.”

As Shotaro walked away, you considered what he said. He was right, now that you were really thinking about it, and you started to feel guilty. Jungwoo had never done anything with malicious intent, so you decided to find him and ask for his number. After all, the process of getting closer had to start somewhere.

Liu Yangyang

The Party Boy that Pretends He's Never Felt Your Pain

You walked into Yangyang’s living room with Seulgi and Joohyun trailing behind you, and it didn’t take long for the prolific party host to catch your eye. After all, he had the kind of confidence that looked like it came easily, weaving through the crowd of guests like he was walking around puddles on the sidewalk. As you watched him, you found yourself envying his easygoing nature.

When Yangyang finally made his way to where you stood chatting with your friends, however, all it took was one look in his eyes for you to know that he was in the same boat as you. Sure, he did a good job of hiding his hurt from a distance, but actually seeing him face to face meant that you could see the hint of pain in his eyes and the small nervous habits that you’d caught yourself in hundreds of times.

When he actually introduced himself to you after speaking with Seulgi and Joohyun, though, it was like a switch flipped. He was all smiles as he pulled you into a hug and said, “Hi! Seulgi told me that she was bringing some friends. What’s your name again?”

You introduced yourself with a hesitant smile of your own and replied, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” he said.

The two of you continued to talk much longer than you expected, but you didn’t mind. It was nice to distract yourself from the pain for a night. And if you were right about the way Yangyang acted, he probably needed the distraction too, no matter how badly he wanted to pretend that he didn’t.

Qian Kun

The Well-Meaning Friend Whose Methods are All Wrong

“You can’t honestly tell me that you think this is healthy,” Kun spat.

“I never said it was healthy,” you countered. “I said it’s effective. There’s a difference, you prick.”

“There doesn’t have to be, you fucking dumbass.”

“In my experience, there does.”

“You’re never gonna listen to me, are you?” he asked, quickly losing patience with your insistence on self-destruction.

“Why should I? We both know you do the same shit that I do. At least I have the balls to admit it.”

“Do you really think that?” he asked. You were silent in response, so he added, “Whatever. I’m leaving. Good luck.”

With that, Kun walked out of your apartment, leaving you alone with your thoughts once again. You knew that he was just looking out for you, but you hated his condescending attitude. Especially considering the fact that he had his own less-than-healthy coping mechanisms that he leaned on a bit too much when the weight of his past felt like it was going to crush him. Still, you knew that he was right, so you decided to call him in the morning and apologize. But until morning came, you’d curl up in a ball on your bed and sob as you thought about what your life had become.

Johnny Suh

The Potential Lover that You Know You Could Never Have

Sometimes, running into Johnny at the bar made you want to cry. Not because he’d ever done anything to hurt you, or because you missed some prior connection, but because you knew that he could never want you the same way that you wanted him. After all, he looked like he was sculpted by the gods themselves, his voice sounded sweeter than even your favorite song, and the way that he carried himself made it clear that he knew just how attractive he really was. What reason could he possibly have to want anything more than a quick fuck from someone like you?

You couldn’t think of one, really. So, you kept your distance, at least emotionally. Sure, you still hooked up with him from time to time, but that was where your relationship with him stopped, no matter how badly you wanted more. Of course, sometimes he’d ask you why you never stayed the night after the two of you had sex, but you were a master of excuses by the time that started. You had to be to keep him from figuring out that you were slowly falling in love with him.

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