#witch journalling

[highestelf420]

These photos are all animals I saved from last summer. A dehydrated seagull that wasn’t moving from the middle of a hot parking lot on a 96 degree day- I gave him the rest of my water and nudged him til he moved to the shade, he eventually got up and flew away; two newborn baby sparrows, 2 separate days, that fell off our roof onto the balcony and were unable to be placed back into their nest- we made a warm rice/paper towel box and had a friend drive us 2 hours to a wildlife sanctuary each time; and at least 20 or so horseshoe crabs- washed up on the beach during mating season and would have cooked in the sun. Venus was really putting me to work last year. It makes me wonder what this summer will be like.

TW/CW under the read more: newborn baby birds and mating horseshoe crabs (might be yucky for some to look at)

[thewitchofthewind]

i just successfully worked with fire for the first time in my life!! i'm so excited and happy!!

i was looking at the flame of this delicious smelling candle i'd just lit and i noticed the way it hung onto the wick like a little globule of water. and i thought. that's interesting. fire acts kind of like water. and it... relies on air...

my most comfortable and familiar elements are water and air!!

so this candle has 3 wicks (love it) and the flame on one of them was holding very low and close to the wick, and taking my newfound understanding of what energies fire carries with it i! was able to focus on the flame and will it to stand up in a peak!! aaaa!!!! 🎉🙌✨

i've never done it before, it feels different but i was able to FIND it inside of me im soooooooo pleased!!! 😄😄😄

[highestelf420]

I keep thinking about the customer I had last night who insisted he was cursed. He said ravens and crows have been harassing him for months and destroying his trucks, his property etc. As he spoke, he repeatedly said he wanted to kill them, and had a frenzied look in his eyes. I had to keep talking him down, and eventually convinced him to try a spell, first. He did eventually calm down and as I said, tipped me for the help. It makes me think of the role that witches had in society in more ancient times.

[highestelf420]

So those who have been following me for a time know that I've had a spiritual crisis and I finally think I'm ready to talk about it.

A year and a half-ish ago I saw someone's photo scrolling the media and heard (as well as felt, and smelled) Venus speak to me: "That's your husband."

I forgot about it for a time, but there was a point a few months ago where I couldn't any longer. Because of who it was, I experienced a lot of crazy stuff (synchronities, dreaming of his memories). I also experienced several unrelated traumatic events and for months this whole situation filled me with doubt and complete disconnection from my Goddess, as well as anxiety, dread and despair.

I eventually crashed out completely. I was faced with so many fears and horrible feelings that I had to work through due to this, it dug up a lot of past traumas and I experienced PTSD flashbacks for months as well as anhedonia, spiritual apathy and catatonic depression. I wondered if Venus was angry with me, I wondered, "is this how Psyche felt when she was told that the husband assigned to her was a horrible monster?"

I eventually came to peace with it. (Mostly, things are still hard but I'm sure I will be ok.) My mental health is a lot better now, as I have discovered a lot about myself due to all of this and met many wonderful people. Including another Venus devotee who lives the next city over from me, and I consider a very good friend of mine now- I never would have met her if not for this, and I would go through it all again if not just for that. Honestly, part of me wonders if the point of all of this suffering was so I would be led to make a Tumblr account again lol.

Anyways, I'm posting this now because well, this blog is for me to document and be open about my Craft and all of my progress. I always had the belief that being so open is part of my art ("I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented, or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else." -Marilyn Monroe). This is all really about me and never had anything to do with anyone else. I may eventually make more detailed posts about the things I learned and experienced from this.

[highestelf420]

I’m making fey salve. It is coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil, fae gate powder that was gifted to me (vervain, thyme, parsley, chamomile, mugwort), fresh basil + rosemary sprig + mint, rose petals, rose hips, dandelion root, dried lilac, lavender, sage, and a touch of local maple tree syrup. I just finished infusing and straining it, and it smells amazing.

[highestelf420]

I had collected a few really nice seashells a few weeks ago that I had intended to craft with, but I waited too long to clean some of them and couldn’t fully get the stink off. Rather than just tossing them, I decided to save them as offerings to the Morrigan. (They were beautiful shells and I figured she’d enjoy the death stench on them.)

So, yesterday, I went out and wasn’t sure where to put them, but then I saw a crow in front of me fly to a tree by a stream I like to vibe at, and sit on a branch. I figured that was as good a sign as any.

I left my offerings at the base of the tree, and was distracted by a deer that was hanging out by the stream. It ran away when it saw me, and then I felt something hit my shoulder?? I looked around and realized it came from above; a really big stick had fallen from the tree, and was dangling from the branches.

I’m really excited because I’ve wanted a wand for a while now! So, said stick is going to be my wand. I broke off part of it, returned the rest of it to nature, and whittled away. I want to paint and decorate it but I’m not sure how so yet.

[highestelf420]

I found a crow feather on the ground outside where I did my full moon circle ritual last night

[highestelf420]

This is what I mean when I say I’m a glamour witch. I really gotta serve cvnt for the trees more often