Got my ass kicked the past two days at work, that's what I get for not fronting at the start of the week while I was WFH, I had to do 4 days worth of work in two. Urgh.
And my RFC user stories got kicked out of the sprint again, I don't know what I'm doing wrong so I'm gonna have to go and actually ask our scrum master what the fuck he needs in a user story to not reject it. Bloody bastard.
At least this outfit was kinda cute. Silver linings I guess.
i am a programmer. my specific job field is not widely known or thought about usually, but i like it. to put it simply, i am the one who writes automatic testing for new tech at factories. my job well done is your laptops and servers and etc etc being bugless and in good working condition when you open the box (with the documentation to prove it).
and well sometimes i like to use some thingies i do in my irl life in my writing. so heres some funny things i think could've happened on a factory that works for villains in `heroes and villains` setting
a shipment, an order of devices at a factory can be a big deal. or it can not.
see, when you just do something for people you have a room for mistakes. if a batch is already paid for and you know for a fact that there is a shitty component there that will (not 'can', not 'may'. will) lead to the batch being returned to the company for repairs, you have a decision. you can either say 'what the FUCK are we doing, fix that shit, i wont be the one who will be authorizing that' or! or you say 'okay so we can not allow this order to delay. we need it. we will make it so our system tells us it passed all of our tests and when they inevitably come back with complains we will already fix that shit because we would have more time in our pockets'
nobody would die in conclusion to either of that.
but what if you work for the classic villain man?
mike: management just sent us an email
tim: oh god, what about?
mike: they want us to 'not test the Bluetooth' because the factory didn't order enough components and now half the order #12345 is build with the shit they found somewhere
tim: do they realize this is the order placed by the Big Evil Inc? if it arrives broken we're all dead
mike: how do i tell them to fuck off and die but in corporate so i wouldn't get written up by HR?
tim: we have HR??
could you imagine the goons getting their tech and PCs to work with and the wifi on them doesn't fucking work? slaughter.
tim: i want to quit so bad
mike: i hear you, i really do. what happened?
tim: you know how we have those little orders for very specific devices placed by the same people?
mike: ugh, yeah
tim: someone tried to hack us over the details of the orders
mike: the fuck?
tim: and when they didn't succeed in that they BROKE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE MAIN DATABASE AND THE FACTORY ONE
mike: oh my god im so sorry did they-
tim: I'VE BEEN WOKEN UP AT THE FIVE IN THE MORNING THEY BETTER FUCKING PAY ME FOR THAT
tim: do you think hero's hackers are making more than us?
mike: i don't think they get paid. heroes are like... volunteers aren't they?
tim: you know what? that does make me feel better
btw irl me at my job never tells people which company i work for. because as a person who works with our stuff? they are so shitty i want to have none of that influencing my life
imagine working as an automatic engineer for a company that does things for the villains. every bug, every imperfection, every shitty decision your company makes is known by the same people who would rob you, murder you and eat you corpse. very drastic, but like. possible. i would've NEVER tell a single soul where i work at
mike: another email
tim: are they finally fixing the cooling system in our lab?
mike: we have a returned order. something something you are lazy and dumb fix it yesterday
tim: our tests passed correctly. what do they want?
mike: apparently we have one of the devices shipped to us to look at it
tim, opening the box: oh my god this is a human head
tim: i cant do anything with that, wheres the device???
mike: tim, dear, i don't think thats the concern you should have right now
ive kinda laid the concept there to rot and told everything i wanted to.
at the end i just want to say: fuck the PCI testing. god i hate it so much
More of the same today. Playing with my $7 protractor set. AND with the pencil crayons left over from the day the office team organized a “bring your kids to work day”. I wonder if they reported back to HR about which young women seemed the most clucky that day, if that was the point of it all? Evil thoughts, but so plausible in tech. When a company starts saying how important you are as an employee … run 🤦♀️
i think i was spoiled in my last job. at my new job there are so many toxic tech bro men. i just got a message from a guy with a wink emoji 😉 idk if that was passive aggression or just being a creep but i am soooooooo annoyed. you would not have winked at a dude. wtf. i wanna quit already but i’m stuck here 😭
just realizing now that beth johanssen almost definitely worked in tech before joining nasa, and now my headcanon is that she was utterly devastated she couldn’t wear the same hoodie to work every day because astronaut training actually had a dress code
Here’s a quick tiktok explaining how I’m filling in my resume gap by freelancing on a site catered to college students/recent grads. If you could kindly sign up using this link, that would be awesome! Thanks and best of luck!
The horrible Repricing Project, my least favorite professional coffin nail, has decided to go belly up once again, and I'm performing feats of necromancy (detailed data analysis) on Excel files of nearly a million lines using a computer with a measly 16GB RAM.
I'm dying. Excel is dying. This poor HP ProBook is dying. We're all dying. I'm either coming out of this with this project fixed or I might just not come out at all.
Please wish me strength and perseverance. Memes and cat pictures and prayers to the Omnissiah for my battered little computer are all welcome.
