Sylar's Sandbox

For RP purposes only. Not affiliated with Heroes or Zachary Quinto.

[italianeaglesct-blog]

Moving Day - Peter and Sylar

Boxes. So many boxes. Peter had no idea how he fit so much crap into his tiny apartment. He’d lost count of how many he’d taken up the stairs to their new place, but he knew exactly how many steps there were on the four flights to the top floor. He knew which ones squeaked too, and he found out that the old lady on the second floor thought he was cute. She’d flirted with him every time he’d gone by, which was a hell of a lot nicer than the dirty looks he got from the guy who lived under them. Peter thought it was unfair since they hadn’t even finished moving in yet. 

“This is my last box,” he said with a groan as he pushed the door open with his ass. His t-shirt was clinging to his sweaty back, and he was starting to worry that he smelled like a yak. “How’s the kitchen coming?” 

The door closed a little easier than he planned, and he knew downstairs would be having a fit. But Peter didn’t care. If he didn’t like it, he could move out. Might be fun to see how long it took to drive him away. “I’m starving. Want to order some delivery?” 

[talldarknpsycho]

"About damned time."  Sylar smiled, running the rag over the cupboard shelves one last time before putting the dishes away.  "You have way more stuff than you really need."  He hadn't really contributed much to the apartment, he didn't have anything left.  Not even his books and that hurt, he missed his bookshelves in his old apartment.  Of course, Primatech had taken everything he had owned and he had no idea what had been done with it.  He was going to have to start over.

"Kitchen's mostly done.  We might have to get a few more things, but that can wait.  I left linens on your bed so you can make it later.  The bathroom I waited with, I figured we should figure out who has what shelves in the medicine cabinet."  He broke down the empty box and set it by the others near the door.  Taking them down to the recycling container could wait until later.

"Food sounds good, what are you hungry for?"  Sylar was actually looking forward to cooking again.  He'd been living on delivery and fast food for so long, he wanted to eat a real meal but it'd have to wait until they were better settled.  "I can't believe you found this place so fast."  It bothered him that Peter had insisted on paying for it all.  Once he figured out what he was going to do, he was going to pay him back.

[roleplayerscoffeeshop]

I’m kind of sick of that one-character-bumps-into-the-other style starter. How often has that ever happened to you that you’ve actually stopped and talked to the person you check? It’s so unnatural and so cliche. 

[mishasteaparty]

[grandlotussokka]

I can’t bring Nathan back, Peter, but I can sure as hell swing a sledgehammer. 

[talldarknpsycho]

Brunch +italianeaglesct

[italianeaglesct-blog]

“Of course we’re friends, and it’s OK that we didn’t get along. You were the bad guy, and I was the stupid hero. But that doesn’t mean that we haven’t learned to be friends. I like who you are—when you’re not growling and snarling at me—well sometimes I like that too.” I stepped closer and looped both my arms around his shoulders and stood on my toes to touch noses with him. “I want to be good friends with you, Sylar. You want to be friends with me too, right?” 

I hoped he did. Last thing I wanted to do was throw his argument back in his face that he only liked me when he thought I was his brother. He didn’t need me to be a little shit. He needed to know that he mattered to me. Too someone. Anyone. 

“Let’s go home. We can grab bagels or donuts on the way there. Later we can get you some more stuff too. You need some new underwear at least.” He seemed less snarly, and it was probably a miracle that he didn’t send me flying, but it gave me hope. “Want to fly or catch another cab? It’s up to you.” 

[talldarknpsycho]

"Good, because I'm not going to stop growling and snarling."  I bite back the small smile that wanted to show itself to Peter.  His arms go around my shoulders and I look to see if anyone's watching.  If they knew we were brothers...but we're not, are we.  It's hard not to look cross-eyed at Peter when he's this close and his hug feels good.  "Yeah, I do."  Of course I do, I'd be stupid not to want that.  Problem is, I don't know if 'just friends' is all I want.  I'm so damned confused about how I feel.  I shouldn't feel that way, even if he's not my brother anymore.  I thought he was.

"If we can't be brothers, I want to be friends Peter."  I need him to help me not to go back to what I was before.  I want to be good for him and I need to show him I'm worth the trouble.  My face gets hot when he teases me about needing underwear.  "I'll need to find my own place to live too, I can't crash with you forever."  Even if I want to.  There's only one bedroom though and I don't want to sleep on the couch for god knows how long.  The couch isn't that comfortable.  "I don't know if I'm really that hungry any more but we can get some coffee and I guess some donuts would be okay."

I look over at the street, stepping back to put some space between us.  Even for a Sunday afternoon, cars are packed in stop-and-go traffic and I really don't want to spend forever sitting in a cab.  "Why don't we fly."  I know Peter loves doing that and it makes both of us feel more free.  Turning back to him, I stare into his eyes.  "Does this mean I can beat the shit out of Nathan?  He kind of deserves it."  I'd like to beat the shit out of Angela for lying to me too but I know Peter won't go for that.

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

[watchmakersylar]

Listening to him talk about what he’s done, what his Nathan did, I’m reminded of what the son of a bitch did in mine. “He tried to do that here. He told the government about us. They started rounding us up. I don’t know what they were going to do with us, but they tortured so many." 

Tracy. I closed my eyes and let out another heavy sigh. She wasn’t my memory. She was another woman that Nathan fucked. Even Lydia wasn’t mine, and she’d been ordered to touch me by Samuel. Peter wasn’t my brother. He was Nathan’s. He hated me for taking Nathan away from him, and that would never change. 

"No," I looked into my own eyes across the short distance between us. “I’d rather have power." 

I was telling the truth. At least I thought I was.

[talldarknpsycho]

"Bastard showed his true colors through the timelines it seems." Of course Nathan would do that, he was too afraid of not having any real power. I can't help smiling big when he finally admits he wants power above all else. There's hope for him yet. "Good, then I don't have to kill you."

"So stop with all this bullshit." I gesture at the clocks and watches. "Be Sylar and not Gabriel. The Petrelli's are beneath you, they have done nothing but hurt you." I watch his face. "Are you seriously going to let them turn you back into Gabriel? We're the top of the food chain, they should be afraid of us, not us of them."

Now we just have to get out of here. "So, are you coming back with me to the real world and getting your hands bloody or are you staying here and hiding?"

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

[watchmakersylar]

"I enjoyed the hell out of it." With this other me looking at me, I didn’t feel the horror of what I’d done, I felt pride. I leaned forward, mirroring him with my elbows on my knees after blowing my nose, and I told him Peter left me alone with Nathan and what I did. Then I shared what I could remember about Peter shooting me up with the elephant tranquilizers. 

"What Angela did to me was horrific. She raised the bar on being evil. My hate for her will never fade. She tried to erase me. I tried to kill her, but I couldn’t do it. Something happened." Peter happened. I couldn’t kill his mother in front of him too, but I should have. Peter will always hate me, and the love I feel for him probably isn’t even mine. If it is mine, it was cultivated out of lies. 

"I want to stop the voices in my head." I chuckled and scrubbed at my face. “But that might backfire, since I’m pretty sure that you’re one of them."

[talldarknpsycho]

I relish the story he tells me, wishing like hell I could've been there and felt Nathan's blood on my own hands. I hate the bastard for what he did to me in my timeline and what they did to Gabriel here. "I killed Nathan in my timeline too, only after the bastard blamed me for blowing up New York City. He started killing specials, putting them in camps." I stare at Gabriel. "He took away my hunting grounds."

He still doesn't get it though, he thinks I'm not real. I can understand that since he's been alone for so long but the sooner he learns the truth, the better for us both. "Go ahead, stop them because that won't stop me. I'm real and the sooner you realize that, Gabriel, the better." I know he thinks of himself as Sylar but he's not, not any more. Maybe if I poke the tiger enough, he'll wake up.

"We need to figure out how to get out of here, so we can do what we're made for. You can't tell me that you'd rather have Peter in your life than powers, don't lie to me or yourself."

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

[watchmakersylar]

I’m lost. I’m scared, and I’m insane. I know that. The powers made me crazy, and then they made everyone go away. I’m barely listening to him, but I can feel his rage when he snaps at me. 

"Gabriel’s dead. It’s Nathan and Sylar in my head. Gabriel couldn’t fight what they did to me." I scrubbed at my face, hating that I was so weak. “I don’t know who I’m supposed to be." 

He knows though. He wants me to be him. I closed my eyes, and then I told him how I killed Nathan. “I wanted to punish Peter and Angela for hurting me. She said she was my mother. I knew it was a lie, but even when we thought it was the truth, even when I saved Peter’s fucking ass, he never cared about me. It was all Nathan, Nathan, NATHAN! So I killed his precious brother."

[talldarknpsycho]

That's one good thing at least, I don't have to contend with Gabriel on top of everything else. Though, if he thinks Gabe's dead, he's wrong. He wouldn't be weak like this if Gabe wasn't in there somewhere.

I listen as he tells me his sob story and I snort. "Why the fuck you'd want anything to do with that family, I don't understand." I do, deep down, but I'd never give in to it. We're so much better of without having a family tied around our neck.

"You did one good thing then. Did you enjoy it? I know I would've." I toss him a box of tissue, sitting down in the chair by the desk. It's tempting to sweep the clock pieces off on to the floor but that will cause problems I don't want to deal with. 

"So now we need to reboot you. You're so confused, so fucked up in the head, no wonder why you don't know who you are." I lean forward, elbows on my knees. "I'll teach you how to become yourself again."

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

[watchmakersylar]

Thinking about what they did to me made me want to puke. I dropped the hammer and collapsed onto the book strewn sofa. My head was spinning, stomach twisting. 

"They killed me." My voice cracked when I said it. “I killed Nathan. They…Parkman…They forced Nathan’s memories into my body. I hid inside of Parkman. I don’t know who I am half the time." 

I drew my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. I was crying, and I hated it. “I’m broken. I can’t fix myself. They broke me."

[talldarknpsycho]

Jesus Christ. No wonder he's broken, god only knows what Parkman did to him, the bastard. He could barely wipe his own ass, how the hell did they think they could force Nathan's memories into us? 

He curls up, starting to cry and I try not to roll my eyes, though I fail. "Stop sniveling. You can't fix yourself but I can fix you." I think. There's a lot of work to do and if he's been brainwashed, I have my work cut out for me.

"But I'm not going to do anything if you don't stop being Gabriel and grow a pair. I need to know what exactly they did to you so I can try and reverse it. Or at least work around it."

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

[watchmakersylar]

He’s talking to himself more than he is me, thinking out loud. I do that too, but then I’ve got no one else to talk to. I’m trying so hard to get my thoughts together, but I’m not having much luck. His rambling isn’t helping at all. 

"Peter didn’t blow up. I went to stop him, but no one cared." That still pisses me off. I was the only one who could stop Peter, and the fucking idiots thought I was the bomb—assholes. 

"Nathan flew him up really high." I trembled as Nathan’s memories filled my head. “I had to save Peter, save the world. I flew him up where everyone would be safe, but he was burning me alive. It hurt. He made me let go, and then I was falling."

[talldarknpsycho]

Peter didn't blow up. Fuck, that changes so much and I don't know if I can even fix it now. Well, if I can't change that, at least I can change Sylar and put him back where he belongs. He keeps going and I narrow my eyes at him. He's talking like he was Nathan.

"What the fuck? You didn't save Peter, you said Nathan did. How did you fly him up and why would you let him go?" None of this is making sense and I lean against the wall. "How badly are you broken?"

I can see that the gears in his head aren't right, that they're off and we're not getting out of here until I get them back in place. "Just what did they do to you?"

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

[watchmakersylar]

It’s all too much. He’s me, but he’s not. His story about being from the future is different. It’s not something that I’ve come up with before when I’ve started having conversations with myself. But when he shifts tactics, reminding me that I’m alone, so totally alone, that I have to lower the hammer. 

"I hate it. I can’t die. Everyone’s gone, and I’ve.. I’ve got no one to talk to." The walls are closing in. They’re getting closer and closer every minute, and eventually I won’t have anything left to breathe. Maybe then I can die. 

"You’re from a different future. Was it Hiro or Peter? I know they went to the future. They told Nathan." Neither of them told me, but I have partial memories of those little talks and my own of Peter telling me about Noah and killing Nathan. One time when I didn’t do it.

[talldarknpsycho]

"Both Peter and Hiro have been fucking around in the past?" No wonder everything is screwed up. Here I'd been thinking only one of them had been but both of them...? It's a wonder I still exist. "I thought Peter was the one screwing around in the past, it seems like Hiro's made things even worse than Peter did." 

At least he's put down the hammer and is talking to me. "I know Hiro had come into my time but I thought he hadn't made such a mess." I guess I was wrong about the timelines I saw strewn about at the loft. That'll teach me to pay more attention.

"Peter was supposed to blow up the city, did he?" That's one of the major points in time. I can fix this if that's still the same. If not, I really have my work cut out for me.

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

[watchmakersylar]

"I’m not how I was. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I did. Why I’m alone." I backed away from him as he spoke. I didn’t want to hear what he was saying, because let’s face it—he’s in my goddamn head. “You’re not real! Leave me alone." 

Then I took off running, racing back the way that I came. The last thing I wanted or needed was for the shadow that I’d become to hunt me down. “I’m my own fucking boogyman!" 

The door of the apartment slammed open, and I lunged for the hammer I’d used to hang up a new clock a few days ago. My hands were shaking, and Christ I hated that I couldn’t get my powers to work when I needed them too. I could heal, and that seemed to be it. I found that out when I tried to kill myself to end the loneliness over the years. “Get away from me!"

[talldarknpsycho]

I follow him and when I find out where he's going, I roll my eyes. This is getting even more pathetic by the minute. Why would he come here of all places? I swear, if I find sweater vests in his closet....

I slam the door open and find him holding a hammer up to swing at me. I might not have my powers in here but that doesn't mean I'm helpless. "Are you seriously trying to threaten me with that?" I snort, moving closer to him. "If I'm not real, then why bother? And if I am real, do you think that will kill me? Would you want to kill the only living person you've seen so far?"

I drop my voice, watching him carefully. "Do you want to ask the only person that you've seen in god knows how long to leave? I will, if you really want. Leave you here, all alone...." I'm starting to wonder why I'm even doing this. If I didn't need him back on the right track, I'd leave his ass here.

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

[watchmakersylar]

I jerked away from him so quickly that I nearly lost my balance. For a second I almost reached out to hang onto him, but that would’ve been a waste of time. He’s not real, and I’d end up face planted on the pavement which is not something I’m fond of. 

I do flinch when he snarls at me. I can feel how angry he is at me and everything. “I’m here because I’m the only one left. You’re my imagination talking to me because I’m lonely. Why I’d pick you to talk to is beyond me. I rather talk to someone nice like Peter." 

Even if Peter snubbed me when I was supposed to be his brother, and he hates me for killing Nathan, he’s still the only person whose forgiveness matters to me. And he’s gone. Gone with everyone else. “I don’t know. You tell me, and I don’t want to hear about time travel. Time travel is bad. It breaks the world."

[talldarknpsycho]

I can't help gaping at him. Nice like Peter? What the fuck? "Who are you and what the hell did you do with Sylar?" I snap at him. This is even worse than I thought. How am I going to fucking fix this? "I'm not your imagination. You've been trapped here by Parkman of all people and I'm here to fix you."

Doesn't want to hear about time travel? "What do think has already happened?" I throw my hands up, turning in a circle. "Time has been broken, you're not supposed to be this...this..." I can't even think of the words to discribe him. "You're supposed to be the top of the food chain, not some pathetic little goody-two-shoes."

If this weren't so damn important, I'd leave him here to wallow in his self-pity or whatever the hell is going on here. "I need to fix you so I don't lose my time line." Mine is already fucked up but if his changes too much, it'll affect mine even worse and I can't have that.

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

[watchmakersylar]

The sun’s bright in the sky, but I’m still cold. I can never get warm. It’s like I’m living in a cave or basement, somewhere where the temperature never fluctuates, and it doesn’t matter where I am in the city. Hell, it doesn’t seem to matter where I am in the country. I did travel a lot in the beginning hoping that I’d find someone else out there—even Claire or Peter. 

"Oh great, I’ve lost my mind." That’s the only explanation, and then I remember that I was just waxing poetically about being insane so that makes sense. 

"You’re not real," I tell the vision of me. “Just go away. Don’t I talk to you enough without you being in my face?"

[talldarknpsycho]

"No, I'm not real but only because none of this is real. I'm out in the real world, trying to wake you up." He reaches out to touch me and I roll my eyes. "I have your face because I'm from the future...well, a future." Someone's screwed up this time line and I need to figure out where it went wrong. I can't go back any further but that doesn't mean I can't put it back on the right path.

I'm sure it was Peter that fucked it up, he does do that. Too bad I didn't kill him for real but if I'm lucky, I put him in a damn coma in the real world. "What the hell are you doing here? Why don't you fight your way out and show them they can't fuck with you?"

I look around the city, scowling. It's empty, there's nothing, no sounds, no creatures. How can he even stand it here? "What the hell is going on?"

[watchmakersylar]

Meanderings of a Broken Mind - Sylar & Sylar behind the Wall

It’s stupid. It’s crazy, but then so am I. If I hadn’t been insane before everyone vanished, I would be now from the loneliness. There’s a big difference between being a solitary creature and being forced into solitude. I’ve been an outcast, the square peg, my entire life, but this is different. My life has fallen into a routine as regular as the clocks ticking around my apartment. The apartment that I reclaimed as my own after so long when I could have moved into another. It wasn’t as if there was anyone to bitch about me squatting, but I wanted familiar. I sure as shit couldn’t go to Virginia’s. The last thing I wanted was to relive her death. 

Hers was the worst of all, and it was one of a handful of my twisted fucked up memories that was loud and clear. No, I would not be moving into her place when I ran out of room for clocks and books in this one. 

My shop was long gone. In its place was a Chinese take out. Gray & Sons was no more. Gone were the clocks and my beautiful windows. The stink of mildew was still there though under the lingering aroma of Chinese Five Spice and soy sauce. 

So I sat in my apartment with the walls covered in books and clocks. The walls were painted red, and I’d left a hand print in the gory paint on the back of the door to remember what I’d done here because of Elle. Because of Noah. Because I was weak and evil. 

What kind of fucked up god leaves me to be the last man on Earth? Shouldn’t Peter be the One? Everyone loved Peter. Everyone hated me. Nothing made sense. It never would again. I tried to concentrate on the watch that I was putting together. That was my life—fix a watch, read a book, eat something out of a can, fix a clock, read a book. It was all so futile. 

Then there was a sound from outside. There were no birds, no rats or cats or horns. There hadn’t been a sound in years. I put down the watch, knocking a few cogs off the worktable. Normally I’d rush to find them, but not this time. I had to find out where the noise was coming from. I nearly tore the lining out of my coat in my haste to put it on as I raced out of the building and into the street.

[talldarknpsycho]

I don't know what the hell Peter is expecting but it's not me, coming up behind him and grabbing the damn piece of metal out of his hands and bashing him over the head. I can't remember having so much fun, caving his head in. This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time and I'm taking my time enjoying it.

The bloody pulp stops twitching and I toss the pipe aside. He's here, somewhere, and I need to find him and find out what the fuck is going on. This isn't what I expected when I came back to get him. Trapped in his head, being walled up by Parkman of all people with Peter trying to get inside to rescue him. Pathetic.

The sound of running feet carries over the air and I look down the street to see him, standing there. I glance down, seeing Peter's body shimmer before disappearing. Good, I won't have to deal with that little shit at least. I stand there, waiting for him to make his way over to me. "About fucking time." I growl.

[talldarknpsycho]

Brunch +italianeaglesct

[italianeaglesct-blog]

“I have never pretended to care about you!” I reached for him when he pulled away and started walking after him. “OK, so you’re not blood. But I don’t care about that. You cared about me, Sylar. You came for me. You saved me.” My nose was starting to close up, and I knew I’d be crying soon. But I didn’t care. “I do love you for you. What we’ve got matters to me. You matter to me, so don’t push me away because my mother’s a goddamn liar.” 

I could feel the waves of misery coming off of him, and I hated my mother for it. “She lied to me too. Hell, she does it all the time! I’m still not entirely sure that Nathan’s my real brother if you want to get down to it. I think Linderman was his dad. I mean—come on—Sylar your ability is more like mine and dad’s than Nathan’s is. It made sense that you were my brother, and you love me. I can feel it. Go ahead and tell me you don’t. I want to watch you get sick when you lie to me.” 

He wouldn’t stop walking, and I hated that I didn’t have any other abilities to make him hold still. I wanted to scream, but all I could do was grab his sleeve and make him turn around to look at me. “You never lie to me. Back when you hated me, it was always the truth. Don’t you get it, Sylar? We’re the only people that we can believe in, and we don’t have to share blood for that. I came after you, because I’d much rather be with you than them.” 

[talldarknpsycho]

He's right, he never has pretended to care.  I never got sick when he told me he cared and considered me his brother so I know he meant it.  But things are different now, he found out that we're not brothers and that he doesn't have to like me if he doesn't want to.  Then he's telling me that he still cares, that we can still matter to each other and I don't know how to handle that.  He was lied to too but he's here, chasing after me and making sure I'm okay instead of dealing with the bullshit with his family.  That means something.

"Claire's isn't anything like Nathan or Meredith's either."  I tell him.  Damn it, he's right though.  I still do love him even if we aren't brothers.  He means a lot to me and...what the fuck am I saying?  I loved him like a brother, that's it...isn't it?  I shove that thought way back, locking it away.  That's not something I want to think about right now, I have enough shit spinning through my head.  "You know I can't tell you that."  I nearly growl.  Not just for the fact that I'd get sick but I don't lie to him.  I never have.

He grabs me again as I try to walk away and I huff out a breath.  "So what does that mean, Peter?  If we're not brothers, are we friends?"  I'm not sure if that's all I want but if it means I don't lose him, then I can be okay with that.  "Where do we go from here?  I thought..."  I scrub at my jaw, scratching at it lightly.  "We didn't get along for so long, I thought the only reason you cared was because I was your brother."

[roleplayerscoffeeshop]

thepeterpetrelli is the best Peter Petrelli and Heroes RPer on Tumblr.