Nutters of the Lost Ark (Or: Why the Doctor Disapproves of Indiana Jones and His Leather Jacket)
Rating: Teen
Relationship: Nine x Rose
Summary: The Doctor and Rose discuss sartorial preferences while watching Indiana Jones. Predictably, the discussion becomes veryâŚheated.
Notes: Hello shiny people! Iâm back after a few weeks break since finishing my last (lengthy) fic. This time we have something light, fluffy, silly and short (and NINE). I blame @aintfraidanoghosts entirely for this fic because she begged me to write it when this crazy nonsense popped into my head while watching Raiders of the Lost Ark a while ago. So really, IT IS ALL HER FAULT that I ended up writing this on a Monday morning when I was supposed to be working. SoâŚ.yeah this fic is for her. No beta, all mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoy and please donât kill me for this silliness!
Also on A03 and Teaspoon.
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âYouâve got to be jokinâ. â
âWhaâ?â Rose said, eyes glued to the screen as the Doctor plopped onto the sofa beside her.Â
âHow can you watch this rubbish, Rose?â
âWhatâs wrong with it? âS Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark!â she said indignantly, blindly reaching for another handful of popcorn.
âHeâs traipsing about the jungle in a leather jacket!â The Doctor offered her the bowl. âWho does that, then?â
Rose choked. ââScuse me?â
âNobody wears a leather jacket in the jungle on the way to liberate Aztec artefacts from a glorified seesaw!â
âSay what?â
 âYou heard me. This director is barking, Harrison Ford or no Harrison Ford. Raiders of the Lost Ark, indeed. Nutters of the Lost Ark, more like it!â
Rose turned to stare at him. âYou did not just say that.â
âDid so!â He raised his eyebrows smugly. âWhat of it?â
âYou did not just say that nobody- Doctor, you wear a leather jacket in the jungle!â She shook her head disbelievingly. âYou do it all the time!â
âWellâŚthatâs different.â The Time Lord shifted uncomfortably and set the bowl on the table in front of them.
âYou also wore a leather jacket in the snow and in the desert and to the beach and my cousin Robbieâs weddinâ!â
ââS not the same thing !â The Doctor folded his arms, leather jacket creaking. Â
âWhy not?â Rose silently thanked the TARDIS for pausing the movie for her. âHeâs wearinâ a leather jacket in the jungle, you wear a jacket in the jungle. You wore a leather jacket in the Plentimen jungle just last week!â
ââM not sayinâ thereâs sommat wrong with leather, Rose!â He scowled. âHappen to like leather, me. âM just saying leather isnât appropriate for hisâŚactivities! âS just daft for a human to wear leather in a hot, humid jungle! You overheat at the drop of a hat, you lot!â
She smirked, suddenly understanding the cause of his little outburst. âOh please, donât start that whole âTime Lord biologyâ bit again.â She rolled her eyes and turned back to the movie, sending another wave of gratitude to the TARDIS for restarting at just the right time, receiving a pleased hum in return. âJust admit youâre jealous of Harrison Ford and move on, Doctor.â
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