The Tumblr Twitter account is literally the only good thing about Twitter lately (or maybe ever)
I'm like 65% sure that's the fucking crab from Moana. Why is Tumblr so obsessed with crabs.
YOU ARE THE REASON
Mike Driver
Not today Justin

tannertan36
Peter Solarz
we're not kids anymore.
Today's Document
noise dept.
ojovivo
No title available

if i look back, i am lost
Claire Keane
Keni
Sweet Seals For You, Always
One Nice Bug Per Day
Game of Thrones Daily
Acquired Stardust
AnasAbdin
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Monterey Bay Aquarium

seen from United States
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@tardiskitten
The Tumblr Twitter account is literally the only good thing about Twitter lately (or maybe ever)
I'm like 65% sure that's the fucking crab from Moana. Why is Tumblr so obsessed with crabs.
[audio transcript]
Woman: He’s fine. He misses you.
Man: Give him my love.
Woman: Will do.
[woman looks at ridiculous oversized bird]
Woman: SQUAWK
Bird: SQUAWK
THE END
Good to know shitposting has been around since the inception of cinema
Please take a moment to appreciate that the first sci fi heroes Fry thinks of are all women.
this was specifically to take the piss out of the show’s male fans btw
EVERY show should take the piss out of their male fans.
The Men ™ are already crying about He-Man so I’m gonna talk it as a good sign.
“Waaahhhhh they made Adam too androgynous!”
I’m sorry…. this:
is androgynous to you? This Luke Skywalker looking motherfucker? This man with a face made entirely out of angles and his complete lack of lips and his saturated medieval suit?
Compared to THIS?
Original He Man waltzed around the castle in a pink skintight shirt and lavender tights. He let everyone think he was a coward running away from a fight because he didn’t give a fuck about toxic masculinity and he wore his bondage gear into battle. His favorite activities were cooking, using his magic sword to transition, and staring in the camera to tell kids that racism is for losers. If pride parades were a thing back then he would be the guy wearing at least seven pride flags and nothing else.
2021 He-Man is a heavily diluted version of OG He-Man and if you actually watched this show that you said was your childhood, there’s no way you’d think Young Hercules up there is the “woke” version. They watered it down for your delicate sensibilities and you choked anyway.
I crave attention because I’m a narcissist and I suppose it’s because I’m scared of being alone.
Love is enough
What year is it??
ETA apparently she posted this less than an hour ago and also it’s her first tiktok
TONY HAWK!?
collection
more
these parents really looked at their vagina fresh child and killed him on sight huh
When I first read this I was like hah cool he used the name from the random guy on twitt-oh fuck oh no
This took me an embarrassingly long time to get, I had to go to Twitter before it clicked and
Welcome to Australia! Where a fast food restaurant literally made a mirrored reflective sea-gull proof packet for their fries so they don’t god damn try to fly down and steal your fries.
YOU THINK IM JOKING?
LIGHT? FRIGHT!
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen
The Q&A on Hungry Jacks’s website makes this even better:
how the fuck did the fire nation beat fucking anyone their element can't do shit to any of the others
shoot fire at an airbender? they blow fire back in your face now you got burn face
a waterbender sends a wave at you and you defend with fire? congrats dipshit now you've turned that attack into steam in your eyes at best or boiling water on your skin at worst
you throw fire they throw rock you get hit with hot rock war over
Literally the only way the fire nation fought enemies was with slow technological veachiles (drills and air boats) and fucking AMBUSHING PEOPLE. AND IT WAS MAINLY AMBUSHING CIVILIANS (against the Geneva Convention). The fire nations army is full of war criminals
You think they have the Geneva Convention in ATLA? They don’t even have Geneva.
fun fact about me is that when i was a kid id write capital E’s with as many of those little horizontal lines as possible and id call them ladder E’s and adults fucking hated them
artistic rendition
All capital letters should have a leveled-up form
So far I’ve got
ladder letters: A, E, F, H, T
humpback B’s and P’s get as many bumps as you think they need
circle O’s, you just keep spiraling in til you feel like you’ve made your point
tree letters branch into smaller versions of themselves ad nauseum: X, Y
spider Q’s, so many legs
Please add your own unsettling godtier capitals!
New alphabet dropped!
oh my god, it’s beautiful
(future handwritten notes are gonna be so wonderfully cursed now, thank you! :D )
well it’s going to take some getting used to, @ceekari (don’t mind the redacted letter between T and U)
But I think i’ve taken a real shine to it!
recursive
So i may have done a thing in an insomnia fueled jaunt into insanity.
find an .otf of the font here
This is how new alphabets get invented.
US Helplines:
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
UK Helplines:
Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]
Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]
Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 [email protected]
b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]
b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]
Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
Drinkline: 0800 9178282
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]
Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868
FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:
Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
Australia: 13-11-14
Austria: 01-713-3374
Barbados: 429-9999
Belgium: 106
Botswana: 391-1270
Brazil: 21-233-9191
China: 852-2382-0000
(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)
Costa Rica: 606-253-5439
Croatia: 01-4833-888
Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
Denmark: 70-201-201
Egypt: 762-1602
Estonia: 6-558-088
Finland: 040-5032199
France: 01-45-39-4000
Germany: 0800-181-0721
Greece: 1018
Guatemala: 502-234-1239
Holland: 0900-0767
Honduras: 504-237-3623
Hungary: 06-80-820-111
Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
Israel: 09-8892333
Italy: 06-705-4444
Japan: 3-5286-9090
Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
Malaysia: 03-756-8144
(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
Mexico: 525-510-2550
Netherlands: 0900-0767
New Zealand: 4-473-9739
New Guinea: 675-326-0011
Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
Norway: 47-815-33-300
Philippines: 02-896-9191
Poland: 52-70-000
Portugal: 239-72-10-10
Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
Spain: 91-459-00-50
South Africa: 0861-322-322
South Korea: 2-715-8600
Sweden: 031-711-2400
Switzerland: 143
Taiwan: 0800-788-995
Thailand: 02-249-9977
Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
Ukraine: 0487-327715
(Source)