How can I portray a sexy/attractive female character, who's also seen as extremely sexy/attractive within the narrative by almost every other character, without overly sexualizing or objectifying them?
How to Avoid Objectifying and Sexualizing Characters
Objectification in fiction is when you emphasize a character's visual appeal above their human appeal. You essentially turn them into an object there for the enjoyment of others, including the reader.
Sexualization in fiction is when you emphasize a character's sexual appeal above their human appeal. You turn them into a sex object there for the sexual enjoyment of others, including the reader.
In the interest of brevity, I won't go into all the reasons why these things are bad and should be avoided. Suffice to say, it's dehumanizing, and that's reason enough to avoid it.
1) Prioritize General Appearance and Other Qualities
Describing appearance is a standard part of character introduction and development, but when you immediately focus on how attractive and/or sexy they are, you give the impression that this is the most important thing about them. But when you instead place the emphasis on basic identifying features (hair color, eye color, height, etc.) and illustrate their human qualities (their kindness, their intellect, love of reading, their courage, etc.) first--before you add that they're beautiful, sexy, etc.--you're telling the reader, "This character's value lies in these human qualities, and also they happen to be super attractive, too." Also, don't forget to include emotional attraction which often plays a much bigger role in attraction than physical appearance.
2) Don't Shape Character Through Physical/Sexual Appeal
Unless you're writing a story that specifically explores how a character's physical/sexual appeal shapes their lives and drives the events of the story, you want to avoid that being the case. In other words, look at the things that happen to them, look at the choices the character makes either in response to the events of the story, or that cause the events of the story, and make sure those choices and events aren't a direct result of how attractive/sexually appealing they are. In other words, make the character human. Develop them beyond how super hot/wildly sexy they are. Give them a back story. Give them qualities not rooted in their appearance. Give them flaws. Give them an internal conflict. Give them a goal and motivation. Give them hobbies, likes, and dislikes. Give them hopes and dreams. If all of that impacts the trajectory of their life/events of the story more than their physical/sexual appeal, and you give them other sources for value and confidence, you're doing okay.
3) Avoid Unrealistic Beauty Standards
You can give a character physical/sexual appeal without holding them up to unrealistic standards. Before describing some physical or sexual aspect of a character, ask yourself if you know any real people with this attribute, and if so, is it a positive attribute for them? If not, you may want to consider whether you really want to apply this to your character.
4) Highlight Physical/Sexual Appeal When it Makes Sense
Some people do constantly think about physical and sexual appeal, whether its their own or they're assessing the people around them, but most people don't do this. So, unless you're specifically writing a character who thinks this way, just don't do it. If your character has just started her barista shift, she's not thinking about how great her boobs look in her apron. If your character is sitting in a meeting, he's not thinking about how good his ass looks in these new slacks. If your character bumped into a neighbor while walking the dog and stopped for a chat, neither one of them is probably thinking about how beautiful/handsome/hot the other one is. When you highlight physical and sexual appeal in mundane moments, you're once again putting those things before this character's humanity. Instead, save those character thoughts and descriptions for moments when they really make sense--like getting ready for a date, setting eyes on their love interest all decked out for a fancy gala, a makeout session, or a sex scene.
5) Consider Your Own Motivations
I saved this one for last because it's the prickliest for a lot of reasons. Physical and sexual attraction is magical and mysterious at the same time, for those of us who experience it. Society has certainly set its standards for who and what we should be attracted to, and those who most closely fit those standards are likely to have more admirers, but the reality is that most of us aren't actually drawn to the "hottest whoever in wherever."
In fact, the whole idea of one particular person being viewed as "extremely sexy/attractive" by a significant number of people--and certainly by "almost every other character" is unrealistic and a hallmark of amateur writing--which, there's nothing wrong with that on the surface... we all have to start somewhere and most of us have been guilty of this at some point--but it's just not something you want to do if you can avoid it. In reality, most of us have our own criteria for what we find attractive, and sometimes we find ourselves attracted to people who don't fit that criteria, or our criteria changes over time. But the point is, it's much more authentic when you craft attraction based on what an individual character finds attractive, not based on some universal agreement.
And, it's also worth taking a look at why it's important for this character to be so wildly attractive. Does it serve a purpose in the story? Are you specifically exploring the ways in which this character's appearance shapes who they are or the events of the story? Or are you just making them hot because you feel like that's what your readers want, or because you're deriving enjoyment out of it? If it doesn't serve a purpose in the story, it's another sign you might want to dial it back.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
Find answers fast on my Master List of Top Posts
Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions!
romaincrisis
origamiaround
snowghoul
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
areudirty
titsay
