adri

queer discourse blog run by a butch tboy | he/they

[tboyoceanus]

TboyOceanus

This is a queer discourse blog ran by a 19 y/o butch bisexual nonbinary transmasc tboy. I am in a T4T relationship with another very beautiful tboy that I love very very much <33 I have been on T since July 1st, 2025 and I have been out of the closet as a trans gay man since March of 2018.

All in all I believe that most importantly, queer people need to come together and fight for our liberation and freedom, especially given the current political climate in a lot of countries when it comes to discussions of queer topics. However, that being said, I also believe that discussions also need to be had within the queer community about numerous different topics; such as the ways we view and treat each other, how our oppressions effects us and others, and how we can come together to build a community about these topics rather than put each other down. However, that being said, I am not one to take the high road. I’m not going to be respectful to someone that isn’t respectful to me either, even if they’re queer too.

Here’s some things about me!

I am in college for a bachelors degree in video game design (but ugh I lowkey wish I was in lgbt and gender studies)

I loooove drawing, reading, writing, and painting

Obvs I love playing video games too, my favorites are Minecraft, Stardew Valley, The Witcher, Undertale, Hades, Skyrim, and Omori

I am in the EST time zone

My favorite music artists are twenty one pilots, Chappell Roan, Sabrina Carpenter, Tyler Childers, and Johnny Cash

[tboyoceanus]

You can say trans men don’t face misogyny all you want but just 10 minutes ago at my place of work I had a shitty ugly cis man hit on me and tell me that my boyfriend shouldn’t let me have a job

[lgbtranswoman]

Ice cold takes from a Transgender Woman:

Men are not inherently Evil

Everyone has the capacity for evil

Transgender Men are men

Transgender Women are women

Excluding Cisgender Men from your spaces requires Transgender Men to out themselves if they want to engage (Same for Women)

Anyone can be Non-Binary, there is no "look" or requirement

Non-binary masculine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces, many are just treated as men and predators

Non-binary feminine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces without being seen as "Woman-Lite"

Edited the wording on the first point because too many terfs keep thinking I'm their friend.

[illegal-dyke]

No transmasc is free until all transmascs are free.

Not until every single one of our siblings is born, fed and educated to the same extent as their siblings. Is allowed to remain unmarried, allowed to sing and dance and play without their voices being deemed provocative, allowed to buy their own clothes and sign their own medical documents.

You do not get to pretend we do not exist to ease your own guilt.

[illegal-dyke]

[that-grassbro]

I often talk about the rage/humour and shock of it, but I don't think I talk that often about the really really deep hurt. I vividly remember logging off a few times and wanting to kill/hurt myself and just hope I was reborn in an easier place.

This is genuinely some of our only connection to the outside world. Like we don't get to 'touch grass' because this is our only impression of our brothers on the other side of the world.

It feels so invisible. Like they've all moved on without you and you're nothing but an inconvenient thing to brush over.

[tboyoceanus]

Everytime people say that trans men don’t experience misogyny im reminded of all the times I’ve been sexually harassed and called a bitch and a cunt by male customers at my job and I kinda giggle inside

[tboyoceanus]

AFAB privilege is not real. There is 0 privilege you get from being female.

[diskhorsed]

Would like to make a quick post since my blog is getting some attention 💕

Trans women are women, and transmisogyny is real, incredibly pervasive, and harmful to the whole queer community.

Trans men are men, and transandrophobia is real, incredibly pervasive, and harmful to the whole queer community.

Nonbinary people are real, and exorsexism is real, incredibly pervasive, and harmful to the whole queer community.

Intersex people are real, and intersexism is real, incredibly pervasive, and harmful to the whole queer community.

I will never, ever deny someone the right to define their own oppression through terms they think fit best. If there is something on my blog that is genuinely transmisogynistic, exorsexist, or intersexist, please do not hesitate to tell me. Transandrophobia deniers will be ignored.

On that note, I'd love to make more mutuals with transfeminists who accept the reality of transandrophobia, and learn more about transfeminism from people I know see my value in the community.

[donniehaspronouns]

this might piss some people off but I don’t think some of you actually ever tried to unlearn your hatefulness. you just came out as queer and decided your new targets really truly deserve it this time.

[loveless-arobee]

Hey, cis women who say "I wish I was a man but definitely not a trans way, haha! I would never be a man :)"

I say this with all the gentleness in my heart: It is okay for you to be a man. If you want to be a man, you can just be one. You also don't have to stop being a woman to be a man. Multigender people exist. You can be a man and a woman at the same time. Or you can be just a man, or a non-binary man, or non-binary, or something entirely different. You can do and be whatever you want and whatever makes you happy.

Becoming a man is not a betrayal of womanhood and feminism. And everyone who makes you feel like it is an absolute asshole, and you should not ever listen to them. You do not have to push your own happiness aside for other peoples' comfort.

If you want to be a man, try it out! See where it gets you. Maybe it turns out that you really weren't trans, or not a trans man but something else entirely, and that's fine, too. Maybe it turns out you are a trans man. In any case, following those thoughts might get you to a happier and better place in the end. And if you turn out to be happier as a man than you were as a woman, that is wonderful.

Please don't feel forced to stay a cis woman for feminism - any feminism that mistreats or hates trans men and transmasculine people is bad feminism. Being a trans man or transmasc is not a moral failure.

Trans manhood and masculinity are wonderful, and you deserve happiness. And if you find that happiness in manhood/masculinity, you don't deserve to be shamed or harassed for it, and you should not be made to feel the need to put yourself down for it, either.

[nonbinary-wrath-month]

Transandrophobia is so obviously a real thing that I doubt your ability to think critically or view situations from other peoples' perspectives if you "don't believe" in it. Do you honestly and seriously believe that a society as patriarchal and misogynistic as ours would not care about a so-called "woman" deciding they don't want to be a woman and fulfill the role of a woman anymore? Do you think the patriarchy just decides to stop being misogynistic to someone as soon as they say "Actually, my pronouns are he/they"? Some of you need to turn your brains on.

[transwagegap-debunked]

Do Trans Men Make More Than Trans Women?

You've probably seen this screenshot floating around:

According to this analysis's presentation, trans men make 70 cents for every 100 cents made by the "typical worker", whereas trans women make 60.

It's worth noting that typical worker's wage is not that of a "straight cis white male", but is actually represented by "the median wage for all workers in the United States" (both are looking at full time workers only, but the lgbtq+ survey omits farm labor for some reason). So omitted here are also part time workers, under the table workers, and domestic unpaid labor.

But the main issue I want to address is that these numbers are estimates pulled from a much wider range of possible median weekly earnings:

What the confidence interval represents is basically a range of possible weekly earnings from full time, non-farm-worker employees of the named type.

"Median wages reflect the midpoint (e.g. 50th percentile) of the distribution of wages within each group as reported–in other words, this reflects the estimated wage where half of a given group earned less, and half earned more. Reported wages are not professed to be the true population median; instead they reflect our best estimate given the data we have available. To account for this, 95% confidence intervals around these estimates are included; they can be interpreted as the range of median wages, for a given group, for which we are 95% confident the true median wage falls."

So the true median wage for trans women could be as high as $831, and the true median wage for trans men could be as low as $634. The numbers $700 and $600 are estimates that approximate the true population median; not the actual median. And the median is also not the mode. So this data does not meaningfully tell us that trans women in fact make more money than trans men, only that the estimated median wage of trans men and trans women both fall below the median for all people in the USA, who are full time workers.

And if you want to have a cherry picking contest:

More trans men make <30k per year than trans women, by a whopping 12%, which is below the federal poverty line in the USA, and 43% percent of trans women make more than 60k/year, whereas only 30% of trans men do.

Trans men are also more likely to live in poverty than trans women according to this analysis (33.7% of trans men vs 29.6% of trans women).

Trans men are also less likely to work full time than trans women.

In conclusion...

If you are a trans person who makes good money, you should be supporting trans people who don't, regardless of your gender, sex, identity, or pronouns. If you don't make good money, you shouldn't be finding other trans people to blame. And you definitely shouldn't be dredging up flimsy statistics to support your fingerpointing game.

[that-grassbro]

i was thinking that i'd seen stuff saying trans men make less and also stuff saying trans women made less so i didnt know why people were so confident and adamant that its one or the other.

[tboyoceanus]

I love you trans men and boys and I love you tboys and I love you non-binary men and I love you transmascs and I love you lesbian trans men please don’t feel ashamed of your masculinity or your identity

[discoursedarling]

No actually, I don't support all queer people because way too many of you can't even handle being told to treat trans men&mascs with basic human decency

[ichliebemeinkissen]

i've forever spoken about (maybe not on here idk) the huge issue with people treating trans women entirely worse than cis men in situations that are the same just the gender is different, but honestly we don't speak enough about that with trans men.

I don't know why we have this misconception that somehow trans men & co are super underground and slip through the cracks of the system made to beat them down too.

Yes, TERFs know what trans men are. Yes, laws worldwide affect trans men, yes trans men are punished for their nonconformity with sexual violence as well, yes trans men experience misogyny, yes trans men experience the "you are whatever worst aspects of whatever gender I choose for you in the moment", yes trans men are treated like they are trans.

[alienlike]

either this means “trans men can’t be gay” or “trans men are women” like what else could it mean

[heseemstobeeatingsomething]

trans men can't call themselves fags because only AMAB people are fags. Trans men can't call themselves butches or dykes because that's misgendering themselves. They can't call themselves femboys because that term only applies to trans women apparently. Also trans men can't be trannies because that term is more associated with trans women. Trans men shouldn't be allowed in women's spaces like gynecologists offices or domestic violence shelters and they shouldn't be allowed in queer men's spaces like gay bars because gay men don't like pussy and they shouldn't be allowed in trans spaces because trans women built the trans community all by themselves and men shouldn't take it from them and trans men shouldn't have their own spaces because they'll inevitably become MRA TERFs. On account of all the male privilege. Because this is definitely not proof that trans men face transphobia and sexism just like other queers. We're so privileged that everyone is allowed to hurt us and exclude us with no repercussions, the mark of a truly privileged group of people.

[heseemstobeeatingsomething]

They say this as if a) The only people complaining about ISFF are trans men and b) trans men are "throwing their own community to the wolves for tumblr clout" as if ISFF didn't start it by saying that trans men aren't her "brothers" because of their "tendency to rape and abuse trans women". Sigh.

[velvetvexations]

I genuinely don’t understand why it’s so hard to accept that trans men are men who do not have the societal protection cis men do.

“Kill all men doesn’t hurt men because men aren’t systemically killed”

Trans men are! Trans men are being killed! “Kill all men” is a sentiment trans men have to deal with while being killed for making the choice to transition into men! Why do they have to deal with constant vilification for trying to be who they even in communities that are supposed to be safe for them? Why does saying "kill all men" matter more than that?