trying to read an old discontinued leather dyke mag from the 90s and seeing an article describing trans misogyny within lesbian events/spaces was really refreshing. While she did not outright use the term trans misogyny, as this would be a term that would later come to fruition in 2007 (Julia Serano's Whipping Girl), what she was explaining was in fact trans misogyny.
She talks of a leather dyke event ran by trans men who's rule was that no trans women were allowed.
People today will say " x group has always been welcome in the lesbian community" and then fail to understand WHY that is. You can see the WHY with who they chose to exclude every time.
The mag I was reading was talking about a lesbian only conference and the event runners were saying they aren't going to police people's gender identity and never will, however quote, "if you can't slam your dick in a drawer and walk away, then the (kink events they were hosting) aren't for you." And the x group in question let that happen, happily went into these lesbian and women only spaces that openly excluded specific groups of women, and left trans women in the dust in the process. In fact, as told in this section of the magazine I was reading, when the few trans women would show up and try to speak, everyone would become hostile towards her despite listening so attentively towards trans men previously.
It's just crazy that in the big 2025 this still happens. Everyone wanna talk about "read queer history" "get offline and learn your history" until the history shows a very clear pattern of something that they were ignoring. Even as we have a better term to describe what this is today, that being trans misogyny + trans misongynoir, a certain group (you know exactly who. Hint: not trans women) will say that we should all just "stop infighting" when this part of our history is brought up, and even when it's brought up as an issue today. But what happened to learn queer history? Or is it only useful when it benefits you?
Lesbian spaces should always include trans women, these spaces are for them. They have every right to be here, they are more than entitled to these spaces. I don't trust any lesbian spaces or conversations around lesbianism that view trans acceptance as something only TMEs are entitled to.
I will leave this right here:
The autobiographies of MTFs are different from mine, but I still want to hear their stories. I do not believe they are simply "men dressed as women," as I heard someone contemptuously label them at last year's event. If someone has always felt intense discomfort in their body and is unable to meet others' expectations of "gender appropriate" behavior, to what extent was that person ever a "real man" or "real woman"? I think MTF dykes have earned the right to be part of my community. Not every MTF is my close personal friend or somebody I'd want to sleep with, but they certainly are not the enemy.
- Who is My Sister? Powersurge and the limits of our community. written by Pat Califa
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