Allison Teague

any pronouns || certified dumbass || tbh I just reblog shit

[datsderbunnyblog]

This comment was left on a post about making the most of the Libby app. "Excessive use of generous lending policies" is the most absurd phrase I've ever seen anyone use to discuss libraries.

[catboycommunist]

evergreen

[teaboot]

You see I too often sat in school classes and thought “when am I ever going to need this, I’m never going to be an engineer, I’m never gonna be a scientist, I’m never gonna be a linguist” and then I grew up and it turns out a lot of bigots and cults and scams and grifts hinge their entire business model on you just. Not knowing what a protein is or some shit

[myboyrozanovv]

If people knew what a fucking atom is and how molecules are defined, at least a quarter of all health related cults like movements and scams wouldn't work.

"Ohh it's a different sugar than refined sugar" it's the same molecule.

"Ohhh my water filtering apparatus making beauty water and cleaning water and alkaline water" Water is H20. What you're doing is reverse osmosis, and if it's alkaline then there is a substance that's not water in there to make it alkaline. You can't purify water to a pH of 12, because pure water molecules have, by definition of how the pH system works and several phyics rules, a pH of exactly 7.

"Ooohh it has ~different~ sodium atoms." That's called an isotope and sodium isotopes aren't created by magic woowoo, and the magical ability of most isotopes is radioactivity.

"Low toxin" what toxin. Tell me their names. What are they doing. "They are endocrine disruptors" what part of the endocrine system? How? Do you have a source that doesn't try to sell you something?

"Just mix vinegar and baking soda to cleanse all the toxins of your fruits" you just created water molecules and CO2, and some calcium and acetate which don't have much chemical property. That's a science fair vulcano. And doesn't have acidic or alkaline properties to chemically influence anything. Just use tap water at this point. "My wood cutting board soaked in an alkaline solution from baking soda to clear out the toxins leaves a nasty looking soup" yeah because you were dissolving the wood with an alkaline solution. Congratulations.

"There is effective microorganisms in this ceramic bead and it can cleanse your laundry and dishes and prevent mold in your fridge and it works for years" what microorganisms exactly? How did you discover them? What are they eating? Are they resistant to 60 degrees and steam? Do they procreate in the fridge? Are they spreading out on all surfaces to prevent the mold or is it an air filtration system that works without airflow or is it just magic? "Put them in your flowers, they can reverse cavities, put them in your walls" what are they eating in my walls? What kind of microorganisms are they? Did you test the safety of those things in human bodies? Are they native to my biotope? How do they survive in those fucking ceramic beads?

"Just use vinegar it's magic" it's a mild acid. Like, cool, sure, it works for several things, but it doesn't have magic properties. It's just a mild acid. Lemon juice is too. And once again, if you mix it with baking soda, they neutralise each other and you get water. Which cleans a lot of things but you dont need to do *all that* to get your hands on some plain water.

[riverlinden]

"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a jury—also traditionally of twelve—to arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will

[quendergeer]

"I'm not posting S and you can't make me!"

[lola-legendary]

K

[hardyparti-deactivated20250411]

U

[osvaldvvanstein]

N

[tiredmisophonicwerewolf]

G

[ecto-stone]

P

[a-selkie-abroad]

O

[kotdish]

W

[aviandaleks]

P

[dragonwysper]

E

[ultimatenutshackfangirl]

N

[ohhmichelettoohh]

I

[beetle-goth]

[throwupgirl-deactivated20240906]

[creekfiend]

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

[creekfiend]

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

[storyweavingspider]

Rare white woman win free my girl she ain’t do nothin wrong

She was just doing the coke that gives you the executive function to torch a misogynist

[donutdrawsthings]

I was thinking of a pride art challenge people could do with their OCs, because I thought it'd be cute! A queer/trans artist with their creations.

but then I realised that same challenge would be infinitely more funny with folks who have atypical or horror OCs

[that-one-support]

No one cared who I was until I put on the cage

[pretentious-ravioli]

[baambastic]

The Author’s Barely Disguised Desire to Dom Man Ray apparently

[shencomix]

[i8yurcookie]

if i leave my pussy hanging off the bed will a demon eat it

[i8yurcookie]

[aberrantemotion]

They just duct tape an ice cube there if you do that

[glumshoe]

dandelions deserve more respect than they get

you say “weeds” I say “widespread non-native edible plant and early-blooming pollinator resource that is not considered invasive because it behaves politely and does not cause deleterious ecological consequences”

[mettic]

The dandelions aren’t gonna fuck you bro

[glumshoe]

they have and they will

[prenbyw]

Spoon in the shape of a fish. Carved from some Sycamore I found just outside Wivenhoe, Essex.

[hinako-supremacy]

op i love your fish so much i made it a png

they are now a school of fish

[teaboot]

Posts that prove that despite about 300 thousand years of technological development, humanity at its core hasn't really changed all that much

[number1mongrel]

"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

[homunculus-argument]

This thing about old historical novel adaptations - especially the adaptations that I've seen of Jane Austen books and stuff like that - where people don't really talk the way that people speak in real life, but in the distinct writing style of the original books, one thing I've noticed is that they'll generally either have the characters eloquently speak that way naturally, or then re-wording the dialogue into something that feels more like how real people talk.

I think it'd be interesting to see something where the characters don't just speak like that as easily as they breathe, but still go out of their way to do so. I know it'd be wildly hard to pull that off in a way where it feels like the characters have some occasional difficulties expressing themselves as eloquently as they are clearly expected to, instead of just being a result of poor directing where the actors are struggling with clunky dialogue that should've been worked through more.

It'd just be interesting to see someone in regency era clothing angrily yelling some shit like "well pardon me for failing to live up to the standards of your righteous grief!" while being so obviously, genuinely mad that they're stammering.

[gaynfl-moved]

what's your "if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs" thing? mine is getting a fully green kitchen

[gaynfl-moved]

[wolfythewitch]

I just saw the Odyssey (2026) and immediately thought of you. I wonder, have you seen it yet? I thought about your posts while I watched the movie (specifically the post with the making of the wedding bed speech)

I just watched it! Many thoughts lmao. The current one is its kind of crazy that they made the sirens scene feel out of character

[toasthaste]

according to An Immense World, apparently giant squid eyes are, like, UNREASONABLY large, even for something their size living at those depths. the next largest eyes on earth, blue whale eyes, are less than half the size, and swordfish, who live at similar depths as giant squid and have the largest eyes of any fish, have eyes that could fit inside a giant squid's pupil.

eyes hit serious diminishing returns wrt resource costs vs vision quality as they get bigger, so the question became: what the FUCK do giant (and colossal) squid need to see so badly that they couldn't see with swordfish-sized eyes that's justifying that massive energy cost? that nothing else in the deep ocean needs to see so fucking badly??

turns out the one strength eyes that big really have over much smaller eyes is: seeing large glowing objects in water deeper than 500 meters from an appreciable distance.

sperm whales are the primary predator of giant squid. sperm whales don't glow. BUT! water that deep is full of bioluminescent creatures-- these creatures light up when bumped into. something a sperm whale's size is continuously bumping into those critters, it's just surrounded by a glowing field all the time when it's swimming at those depths, visible from a distance-- if you have the right eyes-- as a massive glowing shape. so basically the only reason to have eyes the size of soccer balls is if you live in the deep ocean and your life depends on having a heads up when a hungry sperm whale lurking around

and also I gotta say, the imagery... the huge lurking threat betrayed only by the ambiguous glowing shape of its movements through the water, is really evocative, if spooky deep-sea games aren't already using that to make things extremely ominous then they should really start

[what-even-is-thiss]

One time I was at a pub trivia night with some writer friends and we almost won but there was a tie. As a tiebreaker they asked us and the other team to write down as many moons of Jupiter as we could in two minutes.

None of us are very into astronomy so at first everyone was like oh we’re gonna lose but there were three of us at the table that night who were either former classics majors or otherwise super well read on Roman mythology and the three of us were like give us that paper right now and we just took turns writing down all of the lovers of Jupiter from mythology that we could.

So of course we won lol

[what-even-is-thiss]

You really never know what random niche knowledge you have will come in handy at trivia night. You really don’t.