Momther funker

hi im teak, aspiring internet funnyman. enjoy my little collection of posts. | they/she/he

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[hateusandseeifwemind]

[pinene]

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

[tadeadshihamurder]

someone on reddit explained 😭

[no-one-offical]

‎

[desmolbean404]

That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

[sawed-on-shotgun]

i am of the sincere belief that if ur on ur computer a lot you should visually customize it to high hell and back not just for funsies but also because it has literally made me less depressed before. its kind of like how rearranging your bedroom is good for your brain, yknow. i do stuff like this every few months

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[thepersonalmossblog]

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

[escuerzoresucitado]

[mrsterlingeverything]

[goopydad]

A wretched little horse is washed away.😈

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

Kos (or some say, 'Kosm')

[felassan]

[meangirlnurse]

there’s a post on tumblr about like. if you could do something to bring people a little relief, why wouldn’t you do it? which has unironically informed my practice as a nursing student and patient care tech

[meangirlnurse]

i’m glad no one made any unpleasant comments on this post that might distract from the message because that would really suck

[galactic-catnip]

I can't find the document I need for some reason.

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[l0rdgumby]

PSA the "si" in shared YouTube links stand for Seal Indicator. This means there is a nefarious seal tracking your information and will give YouTube your data in exchange for fish. Please remove the part after "?si=" before you click on it or share the link with others because it is a tracking token!

[winterweary]

This is true of any url! You can delete everything agher the ? when you share a url and it will delete all the tracking bits.

[glenthemes]

would like to add that the stuff after ? isn't always a tracking token, sometimes it contains important info for the link to actually work (e.g. it could contain the video ID). however, try opening a link without the ? string; if it works then there's no harm in getting rid of it 🦭👌

[kaijuyuri]

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

[kaijuyuri]

my proof

[sforzzz]

it's totally ok to dislike things. right?

[sforzzz]

i have to go delete some posts

[ashleyjowilliams-deactivated202]

am so obsessed with this little interaction in the comments of some buzzfeed article…like i dont know what this means but its literally love

[taraxippos]

I think this is the single funniest artfight rule. Like....I guess?

[taraxippos]

[taraxippos]

WHO DID THIS

[taraxippos]

Rockwith Aleaf

[lustcannibalism]

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

[lustcannibalism]

there is a world out there I can’t comprehend

[typecasto]

behold, context

[toweringclam]

[torstherapy]

[netscapenavigator-official]

You should be starting a recipe book. I don't give a shit if you're only 20-years-old. The modern web is rotting away bit by bit before our very eyes. You have no idea when that indie mom blog is going down or when Pinterest will remove that recipe. Copy it down in a notebook, physically or digitally. Save it somewhere only you can remove it. Trust me, looking for a recipe only to find out it's been wiped off the internet is so fucking sad. I've learned my lesson one too many times.

[afloweroutofstone]

This captures everything I love about being online