I'm in fucking stitches dude

#extradirty
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Kiana Khansmith
ojovivo
almost home
Mike Driver
todays bird
Today's Document

No title available

ellievsbear
No title available

Love Begins
Cosmic Funnies
h
Sweet Seals For You, Always

pixel skylines

shark vs the universe

Origami Around
Noah Kahan
The Stonewall Inn

seen from Portugal
seen from Iraq

seen from United States

seen from New Zealand

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Oman
seen from Pakistan
seen from Ukraine

seen from Russia
seen from Sri Lanka
seen from Mexico

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Kosovo
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
@techsupportblahaj
I'm in fucking stitches dude
explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly
im fucking crying
my dad's wildlife photography would do numbers on here
ok permission granted everyone look at this fat sandpiper
nothing unsettles me more than like a good fic on ao3 with no opening notes and no end notes. nothing but story. who are you? where are you writing from. are you ok. who hurt you
#i click onto the author’s dashboard and open all their other fics looking for notes on them#they are all similarly blank#i go to the author profile. it tells me the author joined in 2014 and nothing else#they have no bookmarks. they have one gift and it’s a bts fic from orphan_account. none of their own fics are bts fics.#this fic has altered me. i leave an unhinged comment then bookmark it and go stare out the window // via @elegantlyloquacious
My favourite Adrian headcanon is that they're a biologist/zoologist who has seen so much shit, they're completely unphased by any and every alien habit of Grace's.
I mean full-on khaki-shorts-wearing, traversing-wilderness-with-nothin'-but-a-machete Adrian who yoinks snakes outta trees and pets swamp puppies and will unflinchingly dig around in elephant faeces for signs of a rare parasitic tapeworm if needed.
Oh, humans eat socially? No problem, Adrian has observed many many animals eat. Did you know that an obscure species of small underground dirt creature from the north side of Erid also eats socially? Adrian can give you a not-so-short presentation on them.
Oh, the human has no external carapace and so its internal sounds are absurdly loud, wet and off-putting? No problem, Adrian was just conducting an expedition last month researching the incredible eridian animal, the Wet Loud Worm from the south-east region of Wet Loud Wormland. They're desensitised, it's fine.
Oh, Grace leaks often from many orifices and it can be a bit of a learning curve to get used to? No problem for Adrian, see Wet Loud Worm paragraph again!
Meanwhile, Rocky is bewildered as to how he's managed to third-wheel both of his relationships, because both Adrian and Grace are nerds who nerd out about things, and Adrian is shaking in their carapace with enthusiasm to learn more about human culture and biology, not to mention everything about earth animals. And yeah, sure, Grace might be a molecular biologist, but he'll be damned if he'll pass up an opportunity to learn about alien fauna from a fellow scientist, and yes, Adrian, he'd love to hear about the small underground dirt creature from the north side of Erid, and he's so excited to learn more about the Wet Loud Worm, do go on.
#zoologist adrian would be absolutely captivated by the concept of Plants. erid doesn't have those#you mean your atmosphere is so clear your entire planet has ground level sunlight and there's an entire subsection of life#defined by their ability to turn it into energy... because the rest of it DOESN'T? sure you synthetize vitamin d out of it#but that's nothing#saviour grace why don't you photosynthesize question? skill issue question?
secretary birds look pretty normal but for some reason people have collectively decided to photograph them like they're [takes a moment to find an acceptable way to say this] women
<-normal bird photography | typically reserved for pin-up posters ->
Anniversary of APOLLO 11 MOON LANDING
On July 20, 1969, 109 hours and 42 minutes after launch, Neil Armstrong and Edwin ‘Buzz’ Aldrin entered the lunar lander ‘Eagle’, made a final check, and the Eagle undocked from the lunar orbiter ‘Columbia’, where the third member of the crew Michael Collins, stayed in orbit around the moon. Partially manually piloted by Armstrong, the Eagle landed 0 degrees, 41 minutes, 15 seconds north moon latitude and 23 degrees, 26 minutes east moon longitude. Armstrong stepped out, and Aldrin followed 20 minutes later: human beings stepped on the moon for the first time. The two men spent 21 hours and 26 minutes on its surface. One of the astounding aspects of the mission was the seeming simplicity of the technology used to get man to the moon. According to Oliver Gassmann, professor of Technology Management, the mobile phone in your pocket has one million times more memory than the Apollo 11’s computer. Same about the procesor: the latest phones typically have more than 100,000 times the processing power of the computer that landed man on the moon 50 years ago.
“It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.” –Neil Armstrong
(gifs from the documentary Chasing The Moon, 2019)
Mutuals feel free to pick me up and drop me off in front of prime real estate that’s all mine
I will be scared but I will appreciate it
If you guys don't start behaving I'm going to turn off reblogs for this post. This post is about launching matchbox cars into your wall at high enough speeds to lodge them there. Nobody cares about how strong the walls in your house are, and I'm suddenly learning that a lot of people on this webbed site don't know what drywall is, but none of that matters.
The only thing that matters is shoot cars into your wall.
It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good
Highlights include:
For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.
Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.
Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.
I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.
I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.
Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.
Actually I've decided this is a poem
One of the best letters I’ve ever seen just popped up on my Facebook memories. Still makes me laugh.
As today is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, it’s a great time to revisit Dinah from Devon’s memory of this historic event. And yes, still makes me laugh.
Today is the 54th anniversary of the moon landing, but Dinah’s diary entry is still absolutely magnificent.
57th anniversary of the moon landing and the best diary entry in the history of diary entries. Sit down Samuel Pepys, it’s over. UGH.
Promenade du dimanche
by Chiliktol
I love that this captures the exact feeling of chess.