Teddy Transcendent Transcends It

An exploration of gender, kindness, radical self love & discovery. They/Them.

[teddytranscendent-blog]

Rockin the pool scene #lifesaver #teddy #dalekswimsuit #queer #enby @blackmilkclothing @liz_skitch (at Halls Gap, Victoria) https://www.instagram.com/p/Br9XM5bHPTe/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1wh3t973nph04

[teddytranscendent-blog]

Merry Queersmas Everyone!!

[teddytranscendent-blog]

Tomorrow is going to be a good day. I can feel it. I can taste it on my glasses wing.

[teddytranscendent-blog]

Love. This. Lounge. Before my first escape room. (at Omescape Melbourne) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpUEHu-jDHJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1sayui15m58wx

[teddytranscendent-blog]

The unconditional conditions.

You told me I can do anything I want...

Except wear anything sleeveless or clingy because everyone will see your fat and your fat should be hidden. Covered as much as possible in order to hide itself.

But that was me. I am that which must be hidden.

But you can be anything you want to be, you said.

Then you taught me that my body, my voice, my words, my emotions, my clothes and my breathing werent right.

How can I do anything I want in this life if I can't wear a singlet because my body is shameful?

You taught me I could be anything I want in this life - but only as long as I'm the right size and shape and say the right things at the right time and right volume.

But I could never be or do any of those things let alone all of them. So I could never be whatever I wanted or do whatever I wanted in life.

I wear singlets now. It's NBD. I worked on "fixing" the rest of those issues for a long time. I'm trying to learn now that I don't need fixing. I can be and do whatever I want or whatever makes me happy regardless of what size I am or words I speak or clothes I wear or people I love.

Some days I find it hard to just breathe because there she is. In the back of my head a voice saying that I'm doing it wrong. Well, looks who's still alive and breathing after thirty years of "doing it wrong".

A few weeks ago I caught myself saying "I'm not allowed to wear white" so tthere's still work to be done.

[teddytranscendent-blog]

View this post on Instagram

Friends aren't available to play? NO PROBLEM! Just play with yourself 😆😹 while you wait for your mates. . . . . . . #cute #cats #catsofinstagram #Catstagram #funny #tuna #cat_features #cat #love #selflove #kitteh #kittylove #miao https://www.instagram.com/p/BpNrr_2D7hw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1a4ebebrgf57j

[0samjha]

[teddytranscendent-blog]

Tw: self harm

Do any of you get the feeling that you wanna slice across your chest so your boobs can drop out like onions or oranges out of a bag?

[drinksomefuckingwater]

Drink Some Fucking Water!

[kittenwitchandthebadvibes]

YOUR 👏 SYMPTOMS 👏 ARE NOT 👏 YOUR FAULT

[teddytranscendent-blog]

Some days, I just feel a bit meh

Lbh... its lots of days. Probs half the days. Often more.

Sometimes when I feel a bit meh I whine about it to let it out. 😫 usually to myself. This feels good for a second while I'm whining but the moment I stop I still feel meh.

Sometimes when I feel meh I find my brain telling myself "it's stupid to feel meh because what have you got to feel meh about, really. All that privilege n shit. You're life pretty fucking great when it comes down to it. You have no reason to feel meh so stop it.".... This results in feeling more meh because not only do you have meh, you have shame for feeling it.

Sometimes when I feel meh I try and think of three things that happened already that day that were pretty good and not meh at all. This usually results in feeling less meh because I can see that life ain't so meh after all and that within the garden of meh there are some sparkly flowers that shine, and those are way better to focus on.

This makes me feel better, but the meh is still there. Cultivated by myself, culture, social conditioning and chemical imbalances over a lifetime.

Whatever happens I hope those sparkly flowers keep growing amongst the meh.

I hope that I can see them every day.

I hope that one day they will over grow the garden, consuming the nutrients that sustain the meh. Maybe they'll even bear fruit. The most sparkly delicious golden fruit to ever appear. Fruit that eminates life force. Fruit that warms and pulses.

The meh is sustained by my shame as if it were the most potent fertilizer ever created. I make the shame within me, but I don't think I planted the first seed.

[freyfall]

a lesson on nonbinary individuals and why we feel the way we do about numerous basic things, such as the mere fact of our existence and our pronouns.

[teddytranscendent-blog]

[mental-health-recovery]

Shoutout to all the people who are trying hard to be more positive and make meaningful changes in their lives and work towards recovery because it’s hard and people definitely don’t say it enough, but focusing on yourself is very difficult & the progress you’re making is valuable.

[teddytranscendent-blog]

Thanks mate.

[teddytranscendent-blog]

Body Suit

Every morning before I wake up I pull on my body suit.

I never remember, but every day that suit is on the moment my eyelids crack and let the world back in.

I never picked it out, it was not chosen, but it was a gift. A precious gift from those who gave me the gift of life.

It suits me perfectly, but not at all, and each night I relish that when the world is still I too can exist outside of my suit, without it, but only in the world I create when the moon is high.

I don't look in the mirror and hate what I see, not love what is looking back at me. Instead I choose to escape to a world where I am free; only a spirit exploring the vivid landscape of my imagination.

Where the only importance is just to "be" not to justify, explain and placate the confusion others feel when they simply see me.

I feel their eyes but also know I'm a passing extra on their life's show. The bearded person they can't work out because I walk that line that for centuries divided the pie graph.

"what are you" they ask and I hardly know because what's simple to them both stopped and helped me to grow.

"that's the question" I say, filling them with existential dread because questioning their question helps them get into my head.

What would it be like to wake up and see a body suit reflected at me that embodies all that I am and all I can be. A body suit that is truely me.

The more that I know of the powers of me: who I am in my soul and the state that I want the world to be, my body suit can't not be an equal player in the production that is me.

[teddytranscendent-blog]

I have a query? No. Wait. I AM a queery? Oh.

Teddy Transcendent

[genderislike]

Gender is like wanting to peel your own skin off because everyone wants you to fit a certain stereotype or identify a certain way but all you want to do is just live your life in peace without dealing with names and pronouns and whatnot.

- anonymous

[teddytranscendent-blog]

I have always felt this. I would say I've got a pain in the arm. Really, it was a fantasy/visualization that I would split my forearm from wrist to elbow. It wasn't because I wanted to do myself harm. It was because I wanted to free myself from my body suit. My flesh prison. Peel off my skin and break free.