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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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almost home
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Sweet Seals For You, Always
DEAR READER
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@tedisnotdead
i still think its hilarious how neil went 'kevin and i talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time' because they literally never do. he just made that up and dragged kevin under the bus as well for no fucking reason other than to be dramatic.
pov you read aftg and ship things
more of funky lil cheerleader and her best bf
neil: how's your meeting?
andrew: i want to stab everyone.
neil: don't get blood on your shirt, we have dinner reservations at 7.
its been a hot minute, hi guys
just popping in to say,
don't think about an aftg squid games AU.
dont think about neil using this as his last hope. its now or never to escape his father, rather with death or enough money to hide away forever.
dont think about nicky, aaron and andrew all accepting the task, expecting to be alone. they all wanted the other two to wake up and wonder where they've gone. dont think about them waking up in the hall together, nicky heartbroken thinking he has failed them. andrew now scared because he cant save them.
dont think about this being the first time andrew is off his meds. going through withdrawal through all of this.
dont think about aaron and nicky too scared to confront andrew through the withdrawal. dont think about neil and andrew getting closer during his withdrawal because neil was the only one brave enough to confront him.
dont imagine jean there, begging to repay his parent's debt. hes fighting for his freedom too, just like neil. his life is on the line, he can either repay his parent's debt and live a free man or die trying.
dont think about renee and allison pairing up for the marble game. or dan and matt.
definitely dont think about jean and jeremy in the marble game.
dont think about kevin praying that he doesnt die during tug of war. his hand is still recovering. dont picture him weeping once hes won, his hand all bloody and sore.
dont think about a cocky seth trying to beat the game and being shot first during red light, green light. definitely dont think about allison holding back sobs because she wants to live so desperately.
and finally, dont think about neil and andrew being the final two.
just, dont think about it. okay?
just thinking about the shitty little car neil probably would have got if andrew hadnt given him the keys to the maserati. it would be awful, worse than my car right now and i need to carry jump leads with me all the time because within a week of owning it, it broke down three times.
it would be black or neon orange, anything but white to be honest.
but oh my god, it would be a mess aswell. there would be empty waterbottles, empty protein bar wrappers everywhere. exy balls scattered all over the floor, rolling about was he moves.
just thinking about neil's nonexistent car.
aftg hc of the day: andrew cries when the cats die. he's never had a loss like that, one he cared about so much. even though he's terrified of what to do and how to feel, he tries to fight it because he doesn't remember the last time he cried, nor does he want to. he doesn't want to be there but he doesn't want to not be there and hes panicking and going numb all at once. but, neil holds him through it all. neil holds him and takes care of the things he's too afraid to, even when he tries to say it's okay but nearly sobs at the sight of the little mouse toy in the corner of their room. neil holds him so long andrew thinks he might not need to be afraid to cry
im- no 🥺
if i was to bring aftg to the screen, i would include one scene which isnt in the book. thats the scene where andrew finds neil's bag.
i would do it as a post credit scene, show neil getting taken. show some of lola's torture in the car. the episode would end before the torture gets too bad, with neil looking out the window. we'll meet again by vera lynn will play, and will play over the credits too. as the song comes to an end, a little-bruised andrew is shown walking outside. the frenzy is over, the car park is empty again. everyone is searching for neil, other foxes can be heard shouting his name. but andrew is silent, walking towards neil's bag. he picks it up, his hands shaking and clenched with anger. he shouts kevins name, then the episode ends.
i dont know if adding that scene would work, but i think it would. i think it would be beautiful, its always a scene i wish we saw in the book (but obviously couldnt as the book follows neil not andrew), but i wish i had seen it.
I take this and I raise you the full scene. Andrew finding Neil’s bag, Andrew running, running, running to the Foxes, flashes of his last moments with Neil replaying in his head, ‘Thank you’, ‘You were amazing’, fuck, how did he not notice? He lunges at Kevin, hands around his throat on the ground. Not even Renee and Wymack can pry him off. The Foxes are stunned. It’s the first time he’s laid a hand on Kevin.
Andrew: Where is he?
Kevin: (choking) I don’t kno-
Andrew: Where the FUCK is he?
SMASH CUT TO: Wherever the fuck Neil is, or END OF EPISODE
i would !! however, i think the suspension would be better !!
reading the books, you think its the end of neil. this is going to end badly, how can he escape ? whats going to happen ? we dont know anything, andrew strangling kevin was such a shock to figure out and i personally think it was so much more emotional to find it out in baltimore. so we can find that out the same time as neil !!
if i was to bring aftg to the screen, i would include one scene which isnt in the book. thats the scene where andrew finds neil's bag.
i would do it as a post credit scene, show neil getting taken. show some of lola's torture in the car. the episode would end before the torture gets too bad, with neil looking out the window. we'll meet again by vera lynn will play, and will play over the credits too. as the song comes to an end, a little-bruised andrew is shown walking outside. the frenzy is over, the car park is empty again. everyone is searching for neil, other foxes can be heard shouting his name. but andrew is silent, walking towards neil's bag. he picks it up, his hands shaking and clenched with anger. he shouts kevins name, then the episode ends.
i dont know if adding that scene would work, but i think it would. i think it would be beautiful, its always a scene i wish we saw in the book (but obviously couldnt as the book follows neil not andrew), but i wish i had seen it.
all this olympic content I keep seeing really has my mind running Wild with all the shenanigans andrew, neil and kevin would get into. like, I'm assuming they'd represent the USA together (because I want that. very badly.) and maybe jeremy is there too? perhaps also jean? there would be other teammates too obviously, but to focus on these five … imagine the absolute havoc they'd bring to the olympic village…
they all arrive zipped up in their olympic jackets.
and there's excitement in the air, they all feel it, even andrew. even if he won't admit it.
because they made it.
they made it to the olympics.
kevin and neil have been gripping onto each other's arms every five seconds and pointing out just the most obvious shit
“kevin, don't look now, but I can see the Ukraine males swim team.”
“holy shit. neil. neil. NEIL. the Australian Exy captain is waving at us. what do we do.”
andrew, already done with their dramatics: flip him off.
the olympic village is just. so much bigger than they imagined??
it has so many amenities to explore and indulge in over the period athletes are competing & jeremy is going to make sure kevin relaxes a little damn it!
“kevin, let's get massages!” “I don't know… I was planning on working out” “you don't want strained muscles for the first match though, right?” “I guess…”
“they have a hair salon! let's get haircuts!” “we really should be practising…” “come on, you don't wanna look sloppy in press pictures, huh?” “oh definitely not!”
andrew and neil are varying levels of awed over how easily jeremy can win him over.
“we really could've used him back in palmetto days”
might I note that the olympics have around 3,000 meals offered 24 hours a day, every day.
andrew would take full advantage of this.
kevin: cool so they have a gluten free menu I think it'd be good if we all–
kevin:
kevin: andrew. did you get the pizza.
andrew, pizza in hand and tomato sauce on his chin: no.
jean, an unlikely instigator: he got the salad.
I feel like jeremy would be HUGE on socialising with any and all athletes they cross paths with.
“hey! what sport are you here for?” “water-polo” “awesome! I play Exy! what country are you representing?” “thailand” “no way! I’m from the USA!”
it's all an extremely endearing affair. he becomes very popular amongst the athletes.
andrew, neil, kevin and jean's multilingual skills definitely come in handy. jeremy's too, if you count the six-and-a-half languages he can say ‘hey!’ in.
they all converse with some french athletes except andrew and jeremy chose not to address the fact they don't understand until there's simultaneous laughter that they aren't apart of
jeremy: you don't understand either, do you… andrew: not a word…
cue big reveal that neil knows way more languages than he ever let on and what the fuck neil why didn't you tell us you can speak Mandarin??
opponent, in Swedish: the goalkeeper is very short
neil, who spent four months in sweden: WELL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE–
jean: oh so he's always like this? it wasn't just reserved for riko? cool. no, yeah. that checks.
be honest … would andrew and neil try to sleep in the same bed despite the fact olympic beds are made out of cardboard?
one one hand, I think no. the beds are very small, it's an unfamiliar environment for them, definitely not practical ….
but on the other hand andrew and neil are very short, they slept on a single throughout college and perhaps…
perhaps neil is quite anxious about their match tomorrow, perhaps he can't sleep. perhaps he got too used to the grounding weight of a certain goalkeeper next to him at night.
perhaps it's a good night for andrew, perhaps he's fine with squeezing up on the small beds if it soothes neil. perhaps with his back to the wall and neil at his chest he himself can sleep a little easier too …
*clears throat* anyway. back to sports. and stuff.
jean is fucking killer at table tennis.
and absolutely nobody expected this?? because jean when did you have time to learn this skill and what the fuck do you mean you almost beat the olympic bronze medalist???
kevin has this … moment.
he's watching jean play table-tennis with an athlete from italy and he can hear jeremy cracking jokes with the female fencers. in his peripheral there is neil and andrew having a quiet conversation with two figure skaters and he kind of can't believe any of this?
being at the olympics. which has been his dream literally ever since he could form a cognitive thought. competing in the sport he loves more than anything in the world. with some of the most important people in his life.
he wants to scream. he wants to laugh. he kind of wants to call wymack.
(he does. they both cry. kevin calls him dad.)
*clears throat again.* sports.
jeremy and jean definitely take advantage of the pool table. jean is still significantly better than him at pool.
jeremy isn't annoyed at all.
(seriously, he isn't. he can't believe this is the same jean he met all those years ago; fractured and numb and so traumatised. but this jean is healing, this jean is happier.)
SPORTS.
andrew and neil kill a lot of time by people watching and guessing what their sport is.
“he’s an equestrian for sure. look at his calves.” “I have strong calves. I'm not an equestrian. maybe he plays Exy.” “this game has zero appeal if you just guess everyone is an Exy player, junkie.”
they make it into the final, because of course they do.
and there's ten minutes before they need to be on court
neil is all “any last words for us, kevin?”
and they all expect something stern, something serious, all determined and unrelenting.
but kevin smiles.
“this is a dream come true. there are no other athletes I would rather play with tonight and I will never, ever forget this.”
andrew is the first to break the silence, “you're a sap, kevin.” and jeremy isn't far behind with a quiet, “love you, man. love you all. good luck to us.”
jean is quiet for a while. he's proud. so proud. of them both. thinks about the ravens – about riko. thinks about violent words and hands and threats. then thinks about the two of them, here. mutters in french, “we did it, kevin.”
and neil, well. neil isn't quite sure what to say.
how does he convey his awe and gratitude and devotion to his role model, turned teammate, turned friend. for that stilted conversation, all those years ago; “tell me I can have your game.” “take it.” for every practise and match they've ever had together. for recruiting him in the first place.
he figures a medal should do it.
“let's win that fucking gold.”
(they do)
and jeremy is crying. he's cheering. he's singing.
he squeezes kevin in a hug so tight kevin nearly snaps in half.
and kevin thinks he has never smiled this much in his life; a blinding grin on his face, arm in the air, gold around his neck.
jean likewise. smiling still feels a little foreign to him. something rare, new. but it's good, really good. and he is so happy.
andrew is warm. he's glad. he never doubted that they'd win for a second, but he had a million doubts on making it here in the first place. against all odds he survived, they survived.
and they're olympic champions. a throwaway label maybe, but if it means something to neil, it means something to andrew. and neil is--
neil is a lot calmer than he expected himself to be. there's a soft smile on his lips, eyes on the scoreboard. 9-5. he pinches his arm, but it's real. this is real. and he, he is so real. this is everything he has ever wanted, everything he never dared to dream of.
jeremy yells his name, and neil turns to face them, his team, these people, they made fucking history.
they're all smiling – andrew isn't, but he is. neil recognises the crinkle in his eye, the twitching of lips, it's enough. it's everything.
they hold up their gold medals for the press, for the crowd, for themselves. there's victory, there's relief, there's awe.
and there is every bit of bizarre but rightful happiness.
why am i emotional-
okay uh im just saying
imagine andrew crying
he's locked himself in the bathroom or in some sort of room alone. it's been a day where just too much has happened and he hasn't let it physically phase him, but on the inside everything is spiralling
an emotionless face, no sobbing, but tears building up. he makes no effort to wipe the tears away as they start to fall. soft breaths and he looks up, still emotionless.
when he's finished, thats when he makes the first noise since the door locked. a sniff. a single sniff, like everyone does after they cry. he finally wipes his eyes/cheeks/neck and takes a deep breath before walking out like nothing happened.
neil notices first, but asks nothing. andrew hasn't said anything, and he's not going to push. he doesnt know what to do either. hes not the best with sympathy, we all know this. so he does things he's picked up from matt and nicky. he tries to think how he can show andrew he cares but wont ask. so he gives andrew a small smile, following after him.
aaron notices first out of everyone else. he loos almost identical, he knows what a post crying face is like. he goes to say something, but is silenced by a shared glare from andrew and neil.
nicky notices next. he's seen aaron cry, he's familiar with the face too. but he understands. he's not neil or aaron, but he understands what andrew is like with emotions. he doesn't ask, he doesnt even act upon it. he turns his attention back to the tv and shuffles over so he's no longer taking up majority of sofa.
andrew walks straight past all of them, sitting on the edge, wedged so close to the arm and the back that he's almost in the crease of the sofa. neil follows, but leaves a space between them.
kevin is completely oblivious to whats happened. he never really made an effort with aaron, not enough to give him that kind of support. but kevin notices the mood of the room is different, its a skill he picked up from the ravens. reading the tension of the room. he had to, in preparation of whatever r*ko would've brought depending on his emotion. but he says nothing. its a mix of immediate built in reaction and geniune respect to andrew.
its silent for a few minutes, just a few. the sound of the television is the only thing that anyone is really listening to.
andrew lightly tugs on neil's sleeve. neil looks at him, but andrew is still staring at the television. he leans his head on andrew's shoulder, not moving from there. andrew moves to a more comfortable, but equally spacious position.
the mood of the room shifts. its not as tense. nicky starts a coversation with aaron. kevin mindlessly goes back to thinking about exy, but starts thinking out loud and neil joins in. andrew just sits there, not listening but enjoying the noise. silence after crying was always unsettling to him, but the monsters understood him so well that it was a silent agreement to end the silence.
jean moreau’s thirty reasons to stay alive
this list began one year to the day of when jean moreau joined the trojans
he is gone
sunrises
jeremy reading harry potter to me
caramilk chocolate
the feel of the sun
dogs (i think ill want to adopt one one day)
i am reading books again
riko cant touch me anymore
jeremy when he tries to speak french
i have not gotten any injuries that are not related to exy in a year
pumpkin spice lattes (especially because jeremy hates them)
trojan team
kevin day and i are slowly becoming friends once more
renee calls every three days
i have come to realize i like the smell of lilies. my dorm with jeremy is filled with them now. he took it a little out of hand. i smiled.
i still cannot go anywhere alone but jeremy always comes with me. he says it will get easier. i find myself believeing him.
every day is hard but i am breathing and thats enough of a reason
graduation
jeremy asking to hold my hand
yes means yes now, and no means no
the trojans taking camping trips so we could see the stars
baths after practice
when i sprained my hand, jeremy allowed me to sit out the next day to heal
i get to heal
i cant stop looking at jeremys smile
i am not number three anymore. it is just a number. i am more than a number. the trojans know that.
jeremy talking in his sleep
kevin and i have been talking regularly, and he is happy. that is a good reason.
game nights with the trojans
him. jeremy knox. jeremy knox. jeremy knox.
fully made me cry i love them
bringing light to this amazing post from a deactivated account now, the first time i read it i cried so hard and this post continues to hold a special place in my heart
it’s literally the olympics WHY IS THE ALL FOR THE GAME FANDOM SO QUIET
where are the kandreil at the olympics headcanon posts?? the “andreil testing the cardboard beds to see if they break” AUs? am I missing something?
my dream is to bring all for the game to life
i want to turn it into a tv show, or film triology
i want to loose sleep for weeks, spending all of my time reading through the books to ensure my adaptation is as true to the original as possible, i want to spend hours going through the books and tabbing the different scenes and the emotions and character, i want to spend forever gathering the perfect cast
its my dream to bring this book series to a a screen, but that dream feels so impossible
where would i get the funding? or the cast or crew ?? im based in the uk, how would i film in the us ? who would trust me, a broke film student, to bring this to life... my grades are amazing but that means nothing in the industry
my dream feels so impossible and its upsetting
but it doesnt mean im going to give up.
Renee nodded silently, walking off to join Matt and David while a peacekeeper guided him to the meeting room.
Andrew waited, alone in silence for a few minutes.
The weight of what he had just done settled on his shoulders. He didn't regret it and would never regret it. Saving his brother's life, his brother who had a future with the boy of his dreams and the job of his dreams now in his path. A job that could save more lives than Andrew would kill to protect him.
The door burst open and Nick ran in, wailing. He fell to his knees by Andrew, sobbing. Andrew swallowed before offering his hand.
"You are so brave." Nicky said, looking up. "Please win. I can't lose you, please Andrew."
"Don't use that word Nicky." Andrew said, trying not to focus on what he was saying.
"You need to win, and you need to come home." Nicky begged, squeezing Andrew's hand. "For us." The please was there, but it was silent. But it screamed in Andrew's ear.
Erik and Jesse walked in, followed by Aaron. Jesse's lip was wobbling as he clung to Erik's hand. Erik seemed to be the most composed, but Andrew could see the pain and panic in his eyes. He looked back down at Nicky, who was now leaning his head on Andrew's arm and whispering the prayers his parents had engraved into his soul over and over again.
"How dare you."
Andrew looked up, seeing Aaron glaring at him. His whole body was shaking as his sniffed his way through every tear rolling down his face.
"How dare you." I have shouted again. "You can't put your life at risk for mine. I won't let you, I won't!"
"It's too late." Andrew said before focusing on Jesse. "Would you like another hug?" he asked, and Jesse nodded timidly.
Andrew held his free arm open and Jesse stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Andrew's chest. Andrew wrapped the arm around him, holding him close.
"You know this could be your last one, right?" Andrew whispered as Erik sat opposite him. Andrew pressed a small kiss to the top of his head. Jesse nodded into his pec. "But you know I'll always look after you. No matter what." Andrew moved his gaze to Aaron, who was still fuming. "Even if I don't come back, I'm always looking after you. I promise."
"You never break your promises." Jesse whispered.
"No, I don't." Andrew whispered before looking up again. "I'm gay." he said, and everyone looked over. "I'm gay and I've been hooking up with Roland for the past year."
"Roland?" Aaron asked and he nodded. "He's a jack though? How did you meet?"
"I came off a shift at the same time as he was preparing for one. We showered together." Andrew muttered, looking at his twin. He moved his hand down to cover Jesse's ear, pushing the other against his pec. "I gave him a blowjob and it's been pretty much weekly since then. I met him at Renee's fight lessons though, we sometimes sparred." He loosened his grip on Jesse's head, stroking the fair blonde hair.
"I'm so proud of you." Erik said, looking up.
"Thank you." Andrew said, clenching his fists. He would not cry. "Tell her I said thank you for picking me up when she did." He would not cry. "Tell her I said thank you for every second she looked after me and cared for me." I have. Would. Not. Cry. "Tell her I said I'm sorry for all the shit I put her through and I'm sorry if I don't win."
The tear rolled down his cheek as he nodded, silently telling Erik he was done. Erik smiled before tugging Jesse's shirt lightly.
"All my bets will be on you." he said, picking Jesse up. The peacekeeper opened the door and shouted through, alerting them that their time was up. Aaron ran forward, engulfing his brother into a hug.
"Win." he whispered harshly before storming out.
Nicky stood up on shaky legs, finishing his final prayer before kissing Andrew's forehead lightly.
"I love you Andrew." I have whispered. "I always have, and I always will." Erik took Nicky's hand before leading them out.
Andrew waited in silence again, until the door opened with a calmer entrance. Jean stood in the doorway, smiling. A small, dark orange muffin was in a clear, sealed tub balanced on a small box in his hands. His cheeks were red and his whole face was blotchy. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, the aftermath of Jean Moreau-Wymack crying.
"Good luck," he said, stepping forward. "I'm going to miss you for these next few weeks."
"It could be forever." Andrew said and Jean nodded.
"It could be. But it could also be a few weeks." Jean laughed, stepping forward and sitting beside Andrew. "Your promised muffin. It's in an air-tight box, so it should last a little longer. I picked the largest one in the batch."
Andrew snorted, looking at it. "I will eat it in your honor." Jean smiled. "Should I eat it in the Capitol, and when people ask, I say it's only the best baker to ever walk Panem, Mr Jean Moreau-Wymack." Jean giggled, looking down.
"I made these for you. Either you would get them now, like you are. Or you would've got them for your nineteenth birthday, to celebrate your safety." Jean said, handing him the box. "You don't have to open it now. You're probably sick to death of emotions today."
Jean trailed of as I have watched Andrew pop the lid and pull out the contents. A new set of armbands hung from his hands. They were mostly made of black cloth but had leather around the wrist and padding under the leather on the heels on the hands. The stitching was almost perfect, like a Capitol suit.
"They're beautiful Jean," Andrew said, "Thank you." Jean smiled, tears building up along his lash line. "Look after them for me." Jean nodded. "And ask Jeremy out. You're going to need someone else to talk to now." Jean nodded, laughing.
"You're still such an asshole." I have laughed, looking down. "Andrew. I love you. Like a brother. So, try and win. S'il vous plaît."
Andrew's eyes widened.
Jean knew the rules about please, and how he couldn't say it. The memories of the times Andrew fucked up so badly and got himself into the worse situation possible, and Betsy couldn't help him. Jean had discussed with him when these rules were first laid down about whether asking him in French would still trigger any unwanted memories. Andrew said no, it wouldn't. Jean still agreed that he would only use the French version if he was desperate.
And this was the first time he had ever used it.
"Ditto Jean." Andrew whispered, looking back at the armbands. "And I will. Don't worry."
New update !!
Got a new update coming tonight for Hunger Games AU !! Hope u all enjoy <3
The water flow stopped, and Andrew sighed, picking up the towel. He looked at himself in the mirror, his eyes scanning across the plain chest and stopping before his view reached his elbows.
"Andrew?" a voice called from the other side of the door, startling him. Andrew took a quick breath, closing his eyes before sighing, reminding himself of where he was. Renee's bathroom. Allison was downstairs, probably preparing baby Seth to stand in the crowd with her. "Nicky just left me your clothes. Do you want me to leave them in the spare room for you?"
"Yess." Andrew replied, looking down and pulling his boxers on. "I'll be out in a second." He reached for the armbands, pulling them on and tucking his thumb into the holes before walking out.
Betsy, Nicky and Erik were changing at home. They didn't need the preparation like the twins did, they wouldn't get picked. Jesse was safe too, wrapped up between his dads but next year he wouldn't. Next year he would be up there, and Andrew couldn't save him. Andrew had already felt the guilt of the six years he missed protecting his cousin and the four years he missed with his brother.
When they were united two years ago, it was a shock to everyone around them. Andrew had been in Betsy's care his entire life before then, with help from Renee for a few years during his more rebellious phase. When Renee started her fighting lessons twelve years ago, he was one of the firsts to sign up. Eight years after Andrew signed up, another Andrew signed up. Renee knew it wasn't him. And she mentioned it to Betsy, who connected the fourteen-year olds and since took them both in, alongside their cousin. A year later, Nicky introduced his boyfriend and his son to the family, and they were welcomed with open arms.
Betsy took two-week-old Andrew in from the day she saw him left on the side of the work field, wrapped in only a blanket. She took him home, where eight-year-old Renee was waiting. She hadn't been ditched like Andrew, she has been unfortunately orphaned by a factory malfunction and lost her mother at only six.
Renee and Andrew grew up alongside each other, but when she left for the games at age thirteen, they knew they would never be the same. Renee came back a victor, that's when she started her fighting lessons. Betsy advised against it but saw her development and let her work. When Andrew questioned her why she let her fight after she had won, Betsy reminded him Renee had won for a reason.
That's when he met Wymack. David Wymack, the winner of the forty-third Hunger Games. David Wymack, the man who relied on the pain of tattoos to give him a mental escape from the pain that the Games had caused him. The same David Wymack who took Jean Moreau out of Betsy's care less than a week after she took him in.
"Just because Jean was taken in by the Wymacks, it doesn't mean that you're not wanted." Betsy would always say. She would say the same thing every time she took one kid into her home and then they were taken in by a family a few days after. "You are just as valid. You are just as special. You just need to wait for your special time to shine."
Eight years passed and Aaron appeared. They united, Nicky was introduced, and Betsy took them all in. Betsy introduced them to Wymack, who introduced them to his kids and the Boyds. Befriending the entire of the Victors Village was a kick in the guts to Andrew. A reminder how he wasn't special, how he was basically nothing in comparison to some people.
Jean remembered him though. Jean made him feel special way. Not a romantic or sexual thing. Andrew knew those. Well, he knew sexual. He knew from all the hook-ups behind the factories, he knew from the nights he stayed at Roland's, a classmate in Renee's fighting class, and experimented with things. He knew from the start he was gay, but never said it out loud. He wasn't too confident when it came to romantic feelings however, but he had an idea.
Jean Moreau-Wymack was his first and only friend. Renee accepted this, seeing how they're bond was more sibling like than friends. Jean joined him on the tree searched. Andrew taught him to climb quick, how to spot the nests quickly, how to remove both wasp and birds safely. In return, Jean baked him sweet goods. The banana breads and cakes and muffins rolled through the door daily, Jean delivering them every morning with a small smile. Occasionally, Jean would bake with exotic flavors that David Wymack brought back from his annual visits to the Capitol.
With all the time Andrew had started spending Jean, Aaron began spending it with the other child in the Wymack household. Kevin Wymack-Day. David's biological child from a woman he didn't meet again after their one-night stand.
When Kayleigh, Kevin's mother, passed Kevin had been put in the custody of David. Jean, Kayleigh's other child, had been given to Betsy to be cared for. David hunted him down and took him in, not having the heart to separate the kids.
Aaron and Kevin clicked the second they met. Both being insufferable, obsessive assholes in Andrew's opinion (and Jean's, but that was one of the secrets between the two that were shared in the tops of trees over a muffin each). Aaron's obsession laying in the profession of David's wife, Abby Wymack. One of the best doctors in District 7. Since Aaron became closer with her, he became more obsessed over the profession and soon, if he survived the final reaping, would become her apprentice. Kevin's obsession laid in a Capitol sport, Exy. Whenever his father visited the Capitol for the games, he would bring back his son merchandise of his favorite teams. David had a friend in the Capitol who recorded every game so he could take them home and Kevin could watch them.
Andrew reached the spare room and froze before remembering where he was. Renee's house. Aaron was at the Wymacks', using their shower like Andrew was using Renee's. He knew the only reason was to see Kevin, and 'secretly' say goodbye and good luck in their own special way.
Their attraction to each other was not unknown, practically everyone knew. But it was obvious they were waiting until Aaron's last reaping, until today, to make anything exclusive. As long as they snuck out of the Victors Village before anyone began to head to the town center, no one would notice the luxurious treatment the twins were getting.
The clothes were spread out, waiting on the spare room bed. Nicky's old black, short sleeved button up shirt and a pair of Erik's old, tight fit, wash jeans. A pair of old boots that Betsy had managed to afford where on the floor, with a pair of Allison's bright pink socks laying neatly in the neck of the boot.
"You'll need to be ready in a few minutes Andrew." Renee's voice filtered through the door again. "The ceremony starts in an hour. People begin to move soon." Her footsteps echoed down the corridor as she left and Andrew looked at the clothes, sighing.
◒◓◒◓◒
Andrew stepped out, seeing Kevin and Aaron talking through a gap in the curtains. He sat back, waiting silently and watched them argue.
"They're horrible." Jean mumbled, sitting next to Andrew on the wall, leaving a large enough space for Capitol's largest man to sit between them. "Kevin kicked me out so I couldn't hear. I think they're talking about their latest hook-up." He took a bite from a muffin, leaving one on the wall beside Andrew. "It was at ours while we were climbing. I think they think we're fucking."
"How disappointed will they be when they find out we don't fuck; we talk shit about them and stuff our faces with shit." Andrew mumbled and Jean giggled, taking another bite. "Truth for a truth?" Jean nodded. "I'm nervous."
"That's well justified." Jean said. "Your name is at the highest chance it's ever been, and ever will be. But some people do sadly have their names in there more than you. So, the chance it being you is low. And the chance it's Aaron is even lower, since your name is still in there from the past years of tesserae. "Jean sighed. "I'm gay. I think." Jean mumbled before looking over.
"Want another round?" Andrew asked and Jean stopped before nodding. He took another bite of his muffin, looking forward again. "I'm gay too." Andrew said, picking his muffin up. "I've known for a few years."
"I have a crush on Jeremy." Jean said. Andrew turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "The baker's son. I used to talk to him a lot when I lived with Kayleigh. She would let me pick up her weekly orders from the bakery and I would pay them with grain and milk. I used to talk to Jeremy every Sunday, and that's why I like baking. Because I like Jeremy. "
Andrew looked back through the window, seeing them still talking. Aaron seemed more angry than usual during their 'conversations'. "You should offer to work there." Andrew suggested. "You could see him more."
Jean laughed, looking down before taking the final bite. "I could, but who would you hang out with then? You haven't got any other friends." "I have Jesse." Andrew said, taking a bite. "This is good. What flavor is it?"
"It's another new one from the Capitol called Palmetto. It's basically a super sweet blood orange." Jean said. "And Jesse doesn't count. He's got school you know."
"I'll teach him then." Andrew argued, his eyes following Jean as the older boy got up and started pacing. "I remember all my lessons. I could teach him with no struggle." Jean snorted, looking up. "Shouldn't you be getting ready?"
"Kicked out remember?" Jean mumbled, looking back at Andrew. Andrew shrugged, taking another bite from his muffin and Jean laughed. "I should. Aaron seems to be done in the shower, so if I go straight up Kev probably won't care." Andrew nodded, taking another bite quickly. "I need to, don't I?" Andrew nodded again. "I'll see you after. Good luck Andrew." Jean turned to walk back.
"Jean." Andrew said and he stopped, turning. "If I get picked, don't be nervous to say goodbye."
Jean knew that was Andrew asking him to come. But Andrew didn't like asking. Andrew didn't want to ask, say the word please. It wasn't how Andrew worked, and Jean knew that. He never questioned why, but he knew that. He never pressed any questions when it came to Andrew, because Andrew never did the same to him. He never questioned the scars on his cheek or the roughness of his hands or the burn marks that Jean turned up with.
"I will." Jean said, smiling gently. "I hope you enjoyed the muffin! If I do need to visit you, I'll bring one along. A parting gift." He laughed before walking inside.
Andrew watched the door for a few seconds after it closed before moving his glance to the gap in the curtains. Their argument went on for a few more minutes until Aaron looked out the window. Andrew raised an eyebrow and Aaron sighed, turning back to Kevin and saying something before leaving.
"Trouble in paradise?" Andrew muttered when Aaron reached his side.
"Shut up." Aaron muttered, already towards the village entrance.
He was dressed in a tight red shirt, it looked like Kevin's with the way it was too tight around his waist but loose around the arms, and a pair of trousers which were too torn to belong to a victor, and the style choice only pointed to Nicky. Too tight around the thighs with baggy bottoms. Just how Erik liked it.
"He just wanted to wish me good luck and I wanted to thank him, or tell him to thank his dad, for letting me use their shower."
"Wish you good luck with a massive smooch." Andrew said, walking after him.
"As if you and Jean weren't doing the same." Aaron muttered, scowling at him.
"Jean was actually just telling me about his crush. I got a name and everything. It was glorious." Andrew said. As Aaron went to ask, Andrew continued, "But I will not be saying anything about the mystery person. It was in our game, and I never tell secrets from our game."
"You're stupid shitty 'Truth for a truth' game?" Aaron asked and Andrew nodded. "I don't know why you two play that. It's not even a game, its talking. Like normal people do. You and Jean are weird."
"I think Jean is smarter than you when it comes to most things." Andrew mumbled, pushing the gate at the end of the pathway open. Nicky looked up through the window, smiling when he saw the twins. "If him being weird is the consequence of that, I don't think he minds.
"Fucking weirdo." Aaron muttered, pushing past. Nicky immediately fussed over him, asking where the shirt he left out was. Erik moved closer to Andrew, holding Jesse in his arms.
"I have missed you." Erik said.
"Jesse." Andrew called and the young boy looked over. "Want to hug?" Jesse nodded excitedly. Erik squatted down, letting Jesse run over. But just before he reached Andrew, he slowed down and then calmly wrapped his arms around Andrew's waist. "Oh Andrew, you look amazing." Nicky whispered. "I wish Betsy could see you before the ceremony, but she's already gone to get the other kids ready." He stood up, smiling. "You both look amazing. And we are going to get through this, and we are going to come home and be calm and happy."
His smile faltered for a second, but he plastered it back on before Aaron could notice. Erik and Andrew did, but both decided to stay quiet, knowing he was trying his hardest.
"Andrew, are you sure you don't want to move to a factory job with me and Aaron? You could watch the games."
"I'm fine being a clearer." Andrew mumbled. "I get good pay and I only have to talk to Jean. I see no flaws."
"But you can't watch the games." Nicky said.
"Erik doesn't like to watch the games. Neither do I." Andrew said, looking down at Jesse, who had buried his face in Andrew's side. "I am happy getting the updates from you over dinner."
Nicky went to say something, but Erik stepped forward and whispered into his ear. Nicky sighed, looking at him. Erik pecked his lips softly.
"We should get going, though," Andrew said, pushing Jesse back lightly and holding his hand out. Jesse smiled widely, taking his hand and holding tightly, as if his life depended on it.
The walk to the town center was mostly fully of Nicky's nervous rambling, with Erik and Aaron occasionally responding. But Andrew ignored them and chose to focus on the small tune Jesse was humming, squeezing his hand along to the beat.
When they reached the town center, Erik picked Jesse back up. Jesse waved to Andrew sadly before his dad carried him off, holding Nicky's hand. They passed the peacekeepers and stood in the crowd beside Jean and Kevin. Andrew took off down the silent path, leading them to the identification tables.
He could see over the peacekeepers' shoulders, David, Matt and Renee lined up along the back of the stage, with their escort, Kathy Ferdinand, standing in front of them. She was talking animatedly to them, with her big blonde hair and eyes practically painted with pink. The skin-tight pink leather dress clung to her to an uncomfortably revealing extent where Andrew had to look away.
"Next." The peacekeeper said and Andrew looked up, seeing Aaron's whole-body flinch. "Go through. Next."
Andrew stepped forward, holding his hand forward. The peacekeeper grabbed his wrist roughly, tugging it forward and pricking the end of his finger. They then pressed it to the paper, scanned it and let him through.
Andrew rushed through, pushing through all the crowds to find his brother. Aaron was waiting nervously, wringing his wrists. Andrew pushed through the crowd until he ended up besides his brother, waiting silently.
"What if we get picked?" Aaron whispered, looking at his brother. Andrew shrugged, keeping his eyes focused on the stage. "Andrew I'm serious." he said before his voice was drowned out by Kathy tapping the microphone.
"Welcome, welcome." she said, smiling at everyone.
The neon yellow contacts she wore made everyone unsettled, but she continued, her cat-like eyes scanning the crowd.
"Welcome to the fifty seventh Hunger Games. May the odds be ever in your favor." She smirked, looking across to the group of people who weren't being reaped, taunting them. "Now, the time has come for us to select one courageous young man and women for the honor of representing district seven in this year's Hunger Games." She stopped for a second, smiling. "As usual, ladies first."
She shuffled across the stage in her overly tight dress and waved her hand over the bowl. A hand skimmed Andrew's wrist and he looked down, seeing Aaron's beside his, the knuckles brushing the black cloth. Andrew slid his hand into his brothers as Kathy waddled back to the microphone.
"Marissa Goodman." Kathy read out, looking across the crowd. People were stepped aside two sections before the twins.
Sixteen years old, Andrew told himself. The girl stepped forward, dressed in a light green dress which skimmed her knees and her hair tied into a tight ponytail.
"Come on up dear, don't be afraid." Four peacekeepers surrounded her, leading her up to the stage. Marissa slowly walked up, and Kathy enthusiastically welcomed her. "And now the boys."
Aaron's grip tightened on his hand as she reached the glass bowl. Kathy smiled, waving her hand around the top before diving in and pulling out one white slip. She slowly shuffled back to the microphone and leant close, undoing the slip slowly. She smirked before reading, "Aaron Michael Minyard."
"I volunteer as tribute." Andrew looked down before he even had acknowledged the words come out of his mouth. He looked back up, seeing everyone staring at him. Aaron was looking at him with tearful eyes.
"Not Andrew." he whispered, but Andrew pushed past. "No. Andrew stop!" he shouted, following him through. Andrew took his place in between the peacekeepers but was dragged back violently. "I won't let you do this." Aaron shouted.
"I volunteer." Andrew repeated, making direct eye contact with Aaron. Aaron shook his head, his mouth opening and closing until the first tear rolled down his cheek and his grip on Andrew's arm loosened.
Aaron was pulled back quickly, and Andrew recognized the hand around his twin's shoulders immediately. Jean pulled Aaron back, avoiding Andrew's eye. Andrew turned around and followed the peacekeepers down the aisle. Renee was staring at him, shocked, from the back of the stage. Matt's eyes were filled with tears, while Wymack's jaw was clenched.
Andrew didn't remember as far back as to when he was four, but he knew Wymack's story.
Wymack had trained as hard as he could after losing a close friend to the games when he was twelve. When David turned eighteen, he volunteered himself before the name was even called out. His reasoning was to save one more helpless kid from being killed in his district. This caused him to become a fan favorite in the Capitol, and a respected citizen in the district. In every shop, I have had a discount. Everyone smiled at him in the streets. Everyone welcomed him into their homes and invited him round for dinner.
Every year, when the victors returned, all three of the victors visited the houses of the fallen tributes to mourn with them for one night. They supplied the family with the food for the night and left them all the leftovers. It was a tradition started by Wymack, but when Renee won the forty-fourth Hunger Games, she joined in. And when Matt won the fifty-first Hunger Games, he became the final part of the trio.
Andrew was snapped out of his thoughts when he reached the bottom of the stairs, looking up at the stage. He made eye contact with Renee, who smiled gently at him. He sighed before walking up.
"A volunteer!" Kathy cried, holding her hand out to showcase Andrew's arrival. "Now, what's your name young man?"
"Andrew Joseph Minyard." Andrew said, looking forward.
Jean was finally looking at him, his face contorted with fear. Nicky was beside him, crying into Erik's shoulder. Erik was staring at Andrew in fear while Jesse sobbed, bundled in Betsy's arms. Aaron was crying, while being held back by Kevin.
"Oh, and was that your brother I picked?" Kathy asked, smiling widely.
"Yes, my twin brother." Andrew answered, trying to keep his voice monotone.
"How lovely." Kathy said before turning to the crowd again. "Here we are. Our tributes from district seven!" She started clapping, but everyone stayed silent.
Jean brought three fingers up to his lips before raising them above his head. Slowly, everyone around him began to do the same, the gesture spreading among the crowd. A single tear rolled down Jean's scarred cheek and Andrew took a deep breath before bringing three fingers to his own lips then raising them above his head.
"Happy Hunger Games!" Kathy cried, "And may the odds be ever in your favor."
They turned away, Kathy leading them both to the door at the back. Andrew flinched away from her touch, overtaking Marissa and pushing himself into the corridor.
"Andrew." Renee said, walking up to him.
"Not." Andrew spat out through gritted teeth.
He would not let himself cry; he would not let himself cry.
"We can talk on the train. I want to say goodbye to them."
