The last time I edited my “description box” on my page was on my 19th birthday, year 2014. In 2016, it was the last year that I was active in posting and re-blogging interesting posts in this site. And, the last time I posted publicly was on October, 2017--most of my texts/thoughts, and IG photos shared to this site are then made private. I think in 2017, I was unknowingly preparing myself (I am not sure if those words are right, but, hey it’s happenin’) for a change in my life. I was uncomfortable, exhausted and tired, mentally, and I just wanted to start off fresh, I guess. Just like what I did when I was 14, when my family decided to move here in Manila for good. But this time, it was different. It wasn’t really a big change in our lives, it was only for myself that would definitely benefit my family, or so, I thought.
July 12, 2020. Today is a Sunday, and not like any other Sundays I’d found myself really really bored to death that I started to read back old messages and posts from my social media accounts. For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been deleting old posts from my Facebook account with the help of an extension tool in Google. So far, it brought me laughter, regret, and sometimes sadness because when I looked back into my old self (I guess that’s what you call it because we were so different back then, making different choices and whatnot), I could see how I really lived in the moment--making posts through texts, sharing photos, and was really active in SocMed that I would even make videos just for the fun of it. Hell, last week, I even thought of why did I not try to pursue a different program to take in college, like, maybe related into Film or Advertising. But it was just a one-time thought, not really a big deal. Anyway, since today I found myself really bored, I started to miss the old things that I’ve experienced emotionally from 4 to 6 years ago, especially the “Kilig” ones, of course. I also missed going out, just spending time with my friends more than once in 3 weeks or in a month. I missed being so “fun”; doing things out of the ordinary, breaking rules, not minding what time it is and having serious conversations with other people from time to time, who turned out to have colorful minds, btw.
I miss a lot of things today, now that every thing in our lives have been different for the past 4 months since the outbreak of 2019-nCoV. Since the ECQ have been ordered due to the pandemic, I was handling it well actually, by making myself productive every day that I avoid myself getting bored, or not doing anything. But, today is different, and I’m so bored that I am now waiting for the hours to run so fast so that I could finally be able to sleep and recover from this emotional state. Even doing this is making me bored to death. Haha! Anyway, I tried to clean and change some things in this account: the theme, the avatar, changed my age in the description box (I must face the fact that I’m not going to stay 19 forever), and deleted some posts. And, man, it’s been 3 years since my last post, and reading back puts me in a state of boredom and somewhat *cringy* (?) because I feel like I was a try hard for even posting and re-blogging posts that doesn’t even matter to me, and share things that I don’t even give a damn care, in all honesty.
So, I’ll try to visit this site again, and clean some of my messy posts from this account, as the internet has given us the power of going back to the past and make things right, or change some things, rather, to prevent us from looking stupid and dumb on the internet. OR not. Idk. Maybe. Whatev.
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