[terminated-baeddel9]

gave up on the blog now that she's back or frustrated with the discourse or both?

hi feb 11th anon

yeah i did get kinda disillusioned with this blog but also jez came back to tumblr so i was like, what ever x2. but she's been terminated again. she wasnt stiring shit so i dont know why. i worry that people hold grudges against people for when they behave poorly while under immense levels of mental distress and then go out of their way to try fuck that person over, even if they've expressed remorse or apologised etc for their shitty behavior and haven't been repeating it

out community is so overzelous with punishment for any perceived transgressions or rudeness. we cannibalise eachother and its a fucking miserable state of affairs.

[uncomfortably-bowing]

look. it's incredibly important to use gender-and-body inclusive language with regards to people with uteruses, people who can get pregnant, people who menstruate, etc. that stuff is great! we love to see that!

but i promise you that transfems and amab nonbinary people are not the people creating anti-abortion laws and not listening to the people affected by these laws. you can say "cis men" when you mean cis men.

if you are finding yourself saying shit like "AMABs need to stop legislating AFAB bodies," please ask yourself: what are you actually saying? why are you so comfortable equating the political oppressive position of cis men to that of trans women? what sort of rhetoric are we potentially tapping into when you say that?

[terminated-baeddel9]

there's a reply i need to do to address a specific account. i just dont have the spoons. im exhausted currently. im gonna try stay dedicated to clearing up the hypervisibility problems and the like. gods grace to you all

[terminated-baeddel9]

why cant i follow the transmisogyny tag?

[occidentalist]

i geniunely think that its insane how every other week a different afab detransitioner or terfy transmasc can go on fucking television regurgitating terf talking points for the grifter payout and all that is forgotten the next week and is nEVER placed within the context of something that could only happen so frequently because of embedded transmisogyny within the trans community that they benefit from

but like a HANDFUL of loser white tgirls on like 2013 tumblr growing an awareness of the existence of structural transmisogyny and having an extreme reaction to that awareness.. and then disbanding within a few years… and that somehow becomes a boogeyman that is still talked about to this day a decade later to villify all transfemmes people who disagree with you

[terminated-baeddel9]

Idiot fucking freak

aren't we all anon, aren't we all...

[terminated-baeddel9]

weird to defend someone who literally dehumanized trans men in a very weird & rapey way. says a lot about you

"weird & rapey way" what a horrible interpretation, really speaks volumes to the depths of the words she used, that people see it and feel that, very upsetting.

hopefully she can see that and not be met with simplistic hostility and exile - something no trans person should have to go through. what a failure of our community if we can't catch one another and resolve intracommunity contradictions.

i wish you the best anon.

[terminated-baeddel9]

kys

thanks babe

[lycandrophile]

every day i think about how my old psychiatrist (who was notoriously horrible on many levels, to be clear) tried to convince me to stay on the antidepressants i was coming off of when i told her i was starting testosterone because she was convinced that i’d be incapable of handling the “intense mood swings” that she said it would cause if i was unmedicated

mind you, i was coming off of these meds because they were doing absolutely fucking nothing for me and she had fought me on stopping them every step of the way — in her mind, me starting t was the perfect chance to make one final (transphobic) push against my desire to stop putting completely pointless drugs in my body

she consistently referred to hrt as me “going on steroids” and told me with every ounce of condescending concern she could muster that she had never had a patient start t without being on antidepressants (as if i was supposed to see that fact as anything other than further proof that her main goal as a psychiatrist was just to make as much money as possible by pushing meds on people)

i tried to explain to her that countless trans people i’d talked to had said that being on t made them feel more emotionally stable, not less, and that i had already chosen a method of hrt that would minimize hormonal fluctuations as much as possible, but she wouldn’t believe me — there’s no question in my mind that she just saw me as a ~naive little girl who didn’t understand how testosterone could make my life hell~

and of course, my mom jumped on that idea and started telling me about how it’s not that she doesn’t like that i’m trans, it’s just that she’s ~so worried~ about what the ~big bad testosterone~ might to to my ~poor fragile mental health~

and when i started t, i was terrified that they would be proven right

now i’m 5 months on t (and a few months post-ending that doctor-patient relationship as well) and what do you know? my mood is better than ever! my therapist (who has known me far longer and actually cares about my well-being) says she’s never seen me this happy, and that she feels like i’m actually living for the first time! it’s been incredible!

in fact, i’ve come to the realization that i most likely had premenstrual dysphoric disorder before t, and that it was contributing to a huge percentage of my mental breakdowns and suicidal thoughts, so it seems there were hormones causing mood swings that i couldn’t handle without proper treatment after all, but testosterone isn’t the cause of those issues — turns out it’s the treatment i desperately needed to manage them!

and after some research and hearing from other people, i’ve learned that it wasn’t all anecdotal after all, because some studies have actually found evidence to support the idea that testosterone has antidepressant effects — i told my therapist that testosterone felt the way the antidepressants i had been on were supposed to feel, but i had no clue there was science to back that up

so now i’m just left being endlessly furious with the way testosterone is demonized as some horrible poisonous drug that will destroy your mental health along with everything else in your life, because being on it has improved my quality of life exponentially and that alone makes being on it SO worthwhile, but no one ever gets to see that side of being on t because they’re so busy drumming up fear about how it’ll wreck your moods instead

of course, that’s not to say some people don’t experience serious mood swings on t, because i would never deny someone else’s experience with their own body and mind, and i think it’s important that people know those effects are possible when they start t

what i AM saying is that i would guess that if you looked at pure numbers, more people have probably had a really positive experience like mine than a seriously negative one, and it’s very telling that the negative ones are portrayed as a universal part of being on t despite seemingly being a smaller percentage when you actually talk to lots of trans people, while the positive ones are portrayed as a fluke at best and impossible or even deceptive at worst despite being a really common theme in trans people’s accounts of being on t

testosterone is medicine. testosterone is healing.

it doesn’t solve all our problems — i’m certainly far from cured of all my mental health issues — but it sure as hell lightens the load, and i’m sick and tired of people acting like it’s a horrible thing and not the fucking miracle worker that it is for some of us

[terminated-baeddel9]

im glad u were able to move forward with getting on T ♥♥

[terminated-baeddel9]

trans liberation requires demystifying what liberal/radical feminism has made up about men.

trans men are men but so many are pulling their teeth out to not be associated with the bad gender (cis men), similarly many trans women find themselves not being able to explore non-binarism or bigenderism due to it being seen as being closer to the bad gender (cis men).

The mysticism of maleness and a deeply flawed understanding of how male privilege operates, is given out and revoked which I see a lot of tmascs trying to talk about but fail to understand the 1 for 1 things in common with other men, that the lack of male privilege is not something they have that other men dont have when it is in fact a thing that they have in common with men.

men aren't inherently evil and the privilege of men is tied up in a complicated social hierarchy that genders relation to is one of reproducing ideology and bodies - its linked to the relationship we have with with the means of production as well as colonialism, imperialism, white supremacy, western supremacy, western taxonomy, anti-indigenous sciences, etc

when we take a step back and see this for what it is, its not just intersections dispersed from one another, its more closely knit, like a blanket.

[terminated-baeddel9]

sociology anon come back :(

[sadhoc]

disability and class are inherently linked. the disabled are pushed into kind of a permanent underclass. poverty creates chronic illness and chronic illness creates poverty. there is no inherent conflct between the workers' struggle and the struggle against ableism. we are the same people, working through the pain or unable to work and thus plunged into destitution. out of sick days. testing blood sugar in breakrooms or unable to afford gluten free food.

[sadhoc]

"nobody uses hospital wheelchairs longterm" but people do because they have no other options.

[terminated-baeddel9]

i was thinking about something similar, like about the way historically disability has existed - like, in feudal society if you couldnt pay rent to your lord, you likeliness of survival is far lower than a lord who has a disability - this also plays into potential ways disability has been incorporated into the view of it being evil, that the ruling classes had the resources to have servants to care for them and so only the diabled who were "disfigured" would be represented in the ruling class and be seen as evil since the ruling class were the ones oppressing the lower classes.

[gay-otlc]

If a trans man who likes women stops identifying as a lesbian and starts identifying as straight, the queer community is like "ewww a straight man!!!! you're personally responsible for all the homophobia and misogyny in the world!!!! get out of our community!!!!! we're being progressive btw" and then if a trans man who likes women continues identifying as a lesbian, the queer community is like "your identity is so problematic!!!! you're a predator invading the lesbian community!!!" like there is no way for us to win, honestly just say you hate trans men and go

[terminated-baeddel9]

is this shit you've had to experience irl?! this is so disgusting im so sorry that you have been treated with such cruelty and shit gender analysis. straight people have alwys had a place in queer spaces throughout our history - straight didnt necessarily mean heterosexual either, it was more to do with ones relationship witht he wider community, as did many labels back in the day - things were less about self ID which is hard to imagine in this contemporary situation with the way western taxonomy has been more deeply internalised by our community, but literally fuck prescriptivism!!!!!!

[terminated-baeddel9]

might need to jump off this bandwagon of this username format :/

[terminated-baeddel9]

"men who have abused all their lives because of the expectation that they be baby incubators and then failing to meet that expectation should just take jokes about being 'breeding stock' (literally a term used for animals' lying down otherwise they must just not care enough about other queer men. no trans men are also gay men so this makes sense"

reevaluate your life twat

my poor confused friend, there is no one within the social reproduction of gender under capitalism that isn't expected to be a breeding machine. the term "breeding stock" is gender neutral, we are the proletariat; our assignment under Gender, as it is, is to reproduce more workers - no one goes untouched by that violence and we are all affected by it in many different ways.

this is not an exceptional form of oppression, but a particularity - one that is not owned by anyone body gendered in a given way.

there's plenty of trans gay dudes who're ok with being men and fucking other men at the same time - the problem is when trans men internalise radical feminism before transition and never develop an understranding of gender thats apart from its framework. This means that which informs the conception of transandrophobia is built upon a foundation that will never allow for liberation of any trans people.

call me a twat but theres obviously something important to talk about here otherwise you wouldnt have sent a petty little anon

[faggy-fag]

What a round about way to say you think trans men are being babies and should just get over it. Fuck you.

[terminated-baeddel11]

mate, you're being facetious, the claim that anyone who claims to be the sole inheritors of a gendered violence are wrong, trans men are an example here but everyone does it. If anything, whats being claimed is that everyone is being a baby, trans men are not special or some targeted group here, by the words of op.. everyone can internalise radical feminism and have it fuck their views up.

[terminated-baeddel9]

Thank you @terminated-baeddel11 and everyone who got me to 10 reblogs!

[sleepy-bebby]

ultraviolence

[terminated-baeddel9]

did you know jezabelle personally or were you just a follower? cause imo if you don't know her your "lost girl im looking for" is inappropriate. she's a real person with serious mental issues not your manic pixie dream girl!!

not sure if this is reconnaissance or not so im not going to answer.

feel free to say more, maybe you could come forward about information about yourself first before asking that of me.