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Grounded

Chapter 5: Tolerance Issues

Mini-chapter in which milk is discussed. Please say a prayer for Sky’s sanity.

Author's Note: This chapter contains unhinged silliness, a much shorter length than normal, and Sky slowly dying. >u< I wrote this as the original ending for “Surface Pressure,” but I felt like it deviated too much from the chapter’s main focus. So I just split Chapter 4 into 2 parts! [Linked Universe belongs to @jojo56830 / @linkeduniverse , and The Legend of Zelda belongs to Nintendo of course.] Happy Reading!

Masterlist | First | Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

(💚Please comment and like directly from the og post in case Tumblr does weird things again! Tumblr reblogs are ok but Never repost, thanks! <3)

>>><<<

Wild’s soup was delicious. As the evening set in, the rich broth warmed all of the heroes like a pleasant hug, making them feel as if they'd just taken an entire heart potion.

The champion didn't seem quite so satisfied, though.

"I still wish I had some dairy," he grumbled once they’d cleaned up their meal.

"And I'm still surprised you don't have any on you," said Four. "It seems you have everything in that endless pouch of yours."

"Everything but dairy," mumbled Wild.

Twilight laughed. "You're really upset about this, aren't you?"

"Yes!" Wild flung out his arms. "You're missing the full effect of my food!"

"I wish I could be of more help to you, Wild," said Time. "But from my experience, time travel and long journeys can have… less than desirable effects on the shelf life of dairy. Even in a magic pouch."

"Otherwise, I would've stashed a whole barrel of Ordon's finest milk before leaving," added Twilight.

"It's that good, huh?" asked Hyrule.

The rancher swooned. "Mmm-hmm! Y'all haven't lived 'till you've tasted it in soup or eaten the cheese. Best. In. The. World."

Time laughed. "The best? I'm afraid Lon Lon's milk already holds that title."

"Well, with all due respect, Time... I think you might just be wrong."

Warriors gasped as the camp fell into silent shock.

Time's eyebrows rose slowly. "Oh-ho. Brave words, for a youth. You wanna bet 60 rupees on it, son?"

"You've got yourself a deal, Old Man."

The two men locked hands, staring each other down. Their faces were sharp. Stern. Unwavering…

…Until they burst into laughter. The men patted each other on the shoulders, and the whole camp breathed a sigh of relief at the mirth dancing behind their eyes.

Except for Sky.

Who was currently trying not to be sick.

Surely not... he'd misheard them, right? They couldn't mean... they hadn't said....

"You don't realize what you've just done, Twilight," laughed Warriors. "A bet with Time? Over milk of all things? I'm so sorry, but you, my friend, are doomed."

"Ordon milk is superior an' I'll die on that hill, Captain."

Oh goddesses. Oh golden three have mercy.

They were talking about milk.

Sky gritted his teeth as he tried to keep his stomach from rolling. What... what was...? Was this some future custom? And no one else seemed perturbed... Oh heavens. Was it common?!?

"Sky? You don't look so good..."

Wind's voice drew several eyes his way.

Hyrule hurried over. "Is something the matter?"

"And be honest this time, please," Legend added, the captain nodding firmly beside him.

Sky fought for words. Wasn't the future supposed to be... more civilized? What barbaric customs had he just overheard?

Somewhere in his dried-up throat, he finally found his voice. "You said," he croaked, "you drink... milk? Regularly?!?"

The pure and vile disgust on Sky's face failed to impress the others. If anything, they just looked lost, maybe even amused.

"Maybe not regularly, but... why?" Four asked, decent enough to show at least some concern.

"Have you lost a battle to an expired jar of buttermilk, my friend?" Warriors smirked. Legend and a few others snickered.

"No, that's not...!" He couldn't even say what he meant, it was too revolting.

Suddenly, Twilight's face lit up in a revelation. “Wait, wait wait! Sky," he asked slowly, "if you’re used to living up in the air… do you know what a cow is? Or a goat?”

“I—No??? W-what does that have to do with… with… w-withbreastmilk?”

...

The camp exploded.

"OH MY GOSH! Oh my GOSH—" Legend cackled, stomping his foot in the grass as he keeled over from laughter. "No freaking way!"

“UGHHHHH! Gross, Sky!" Wind joined in, looking joyfully disgusted as he held his sides. "Eeeeewwww! Ahahaha!”

Wild had gone through about 5 different shades of pink as he flailed his arms around. "NO! Nononono! Sky, Sky, back up. Back WAY up, that’s not what I’m talking about!”

"Wrong milk!" Four howled. "Wrong milk!"

Twilight wheezed under his breath and ducked his head. "Spirits have mercy, no wonder you were so pale..."

Sky's disgust gradually morphed into confusion. "T-then, if not that, w-what are you talking about?"

"Not ‘breast milk’!" Warriors laughed, wiping away a tear.

“I mean!" Legend cried, rolling in the grass. "It kinda is!”

Hyrule groaned and covered his blushing face. "Oh, nooooooo!"

Time made a valiant effort to bite back his laughter. “H-hush, you. You know cow milk is far from the same thing.”

"Depends on how technical you wanna be!" Four snorted, descending helplessly into giggles.

Meanwhile, Sky was getting pale again. "U-UM."

Time decided to finally show him some mercy. "Sky, there's a few things I should explain about life in Hyrule..."

It took a while for Sky to understand what cows and goats were, and even longer to get over the renewed disgust of drinking their milk. (Because yes, Time, it was still... milk... even if it was from another creature.) However, Sky supposed it was a lot less barbaric than what he'd initially thought. It didn't seem to hurt anyone, either, as nasty as it sounded. And apparently you could bake things with it? That was a novel concept.

"Oh, no! I just realized!"

All eyes turned to the champion.

"Cheese! You've never had cheese! Now that's a travesty."

Sky cocked his head, almost afraid to ask, "What's... cheese?"

"Curdled, sometimes moldy milk that's drained until it's solid and chunky," Four explained happily.

Wild slapped himself in the forehead.

Nope. Never mind. Too much information.

"Nope nope nope nope goodnight never talk to me about this again. Thank you. Goodnight."

Sky threw his sailcloth over his head, not even bothering with his clothes as he flopped down onto his bed roll. He took a moment to appreciate whoever had unrolled it and placed it beside him while he'd napped.

"Noooooo Sky come back!" Hyrule giggled.

"Sky? Who's Sky? No Sky here. Just a poor sick man who's learned too much about cows tonight."

He heard more laughter spill over the campsite, followed by the tell-tale click! of Wild’s slate taking a picture.

Sky couldn’t help but grin. If anyone had to be his successors, he was very glad it was them.

The Skyloftian was just about to nod off again when he heard the flop! of a bed mat being dropped and the small “oof!” of a warm body plopping down next to him. Sky peeked out from under his sailcloth.

Wind smiled back.

"...You're not here to tell me more about cheese, are you?"

"Nope," said Wind. "I've just got older brother duties to fulfill."

"Older brother duties?"

"Yep! Think about it this way. We're all connected by spirit, right? That basically makes us family. And I have experience with family. Being a big brother's kinda my job description, besides all the pirating stuff."

Sky chuckled. "I'm not sure it works that way."

"I'm making it work that way, so there!"

Sky laughed harder, flinching as his lungs began to wheeze again. Shame swirled through his body at the awful honking noise.

"Sorry," he murmured, starting to pull away from Wind.

The sailor stopped him.

"Sky," he said quietly, gripping his sailcloth, "we all really care about you. You're a nice person, and like I said before, you're like family."

Wind looked down and picked at the mat. "...I'm also sorry about the potion thing earlier. It helped the blisters a lot, really. I just... wanted everyone to see that I'm strong, too, ya know? That I can pull my own weight."

Sky shifted closer to him. Wind wasn’t the only one.

"...Guess I kinda went about it the wrong way," Wind shrugged. He looked up at Sky with his big, green eyes, and the Chosen Hero could see only earnestness in them.

"Family cares about each other, Sky. So let us care for you, ok? That's nothing to be sorry about."

Sky studied the boy in front of him deeply. Wind was so young... but his eyes told stories of experience. He had wisdom beyond his years, and something about it felt so warm and familiar that Sky was sure his chest was melting.

"C'mere, you," Sky lunged, encasing the boy in a cocoon of fabric.

"UGH! SKY! LEMME GO!"

"NEVER! YOU'RE MINE NOW!"

"HEEEEEELP! THE UGLY DEKU PLANT'S GOT ME!!!"

"BWAHA—COUGH!—HAHA!"

If Sky heard another picture snap behind them, he ignored it. He poked his and Wind’s heads out from the sailcloth so they could breathe and laugh freely.

"You brought this upon yourself, you know," Sky said, his eyes twinkling.

Wind rolled his eyes. "I know, I know." He settled himself closer anyway.

Smiling, Sky unclipped his sailcloth and tucked it more tightly around Wind’s shoulders. A tiny voice in his head teased him, will you tuck your own children in this way, one day? and his chest fluttered all over again as he shoved the thought deep down.

Wind let out a massive yawn. "G'night, Sky."

"'Night," Sky murmured sleepily. The weight of the day was finally crashing down upon him, pinning his lead limbs to the earth in the most comfortable way. Still, he couldn't resist one last...

"Don't let the deku plants bite."

Wind kicked him in the shins.

Sky cackled and smothered the writhing boy in his arms, locking him in his embrace. The little fledgling wasn't escaping this nest so easily!

After a few more punches, a few more pictures, and a chest full of laughter, the Skyloftian and the sailor began to succumb to their shared exhaustion. It wasn't long before the two islanders nodded their heads, finally slipping into the deep, blissful caress of sleep.

>>><<<

To everyone's joy, they found the town the next day. They received some supplies and information, and per a nearly unanimous vote, some milk for Wild to use in his meals. It was also unanimously decided that Sky be forced to try some.

He took it. Only as repayment for all their kindness, but he drank it. It was... not as horrible as he'd thought it would be. Maybe even decent? He even began to apologize for his prior fuss...

...until he fell terribly ill.

Wild said he must have been "lactose intolerant".

All Sky knew was he was never touching a glass of milk again.

>>><<<

Masterlist | First | Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

Author’s note: He's fine. They're all fine. They wean him onto cheese and milk eventually—it's like a group project. Or a nature documentary on the effects of dairy on your average Skyloftian. Sky is not amused.

(Sorry for my ridiculous animal science/biology science humor your regularly scheduled hurt/comfort appears in the next chapter, which turned out to be one of my favorites, and has some really fun action too! It's also a nice long one ^u^)

Extra Note: I am a children’s book/family friendly author, so Please keep all comments Safe For Work (no swearing please!) I want to do my best to make this a place for everyone. Cheers!

(💚Please comment and like directly from the og post in case Tumblr does weird things again! Tumblr reblogs are ok but never repost, thanks! <3)

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