Don't use subtlety on us, we're slow

I am a twenty-eight year old woman living in London but who hails from Brummigen. I have a love of books, television, food and cocktails. I'm also partial to walks on a sunny day, mango flavoured frozen yoghurt and laser quest.

[huckleberrycomics]

[sheauz-deactivated20240614]

you're a feminist? name every woman

[sapphirewlw]

chaka khan

[ibtisams-deactivated20240709]

It has been hard for me to talk about how what is going on with Israel and Palestine is affecting me personally, but I grew up in Gaza and most of my family still lives there. My father did not survive the bombings last week and I have not been able to contact my younger sister in days. I am try to being understanding that most people do not have personal connections to what is happening and therefore are justifying their silence, but is heartbreaking to see this misinformation being spread. What’s happening there is a genocide, not a war. It is not antisemitic to support Palestine, it’s not even antiemetic to criticise Israel. There is no grey area or neutrality regarding this, and it is so easy to find resources that will educate you on the subject. It is my people and my home being destroyed so I will never be silent about this, but I please urge everyone to get informed and start speaking up and finding ways they can help.

decolonizepalestine has tons of information on Palestine’s history/propaganda that has been spread throughout the years

UK citizens can email their MP asking for a ceasefire

US citizens can call/email their local government officials asking for a ceasefire

Jewish Voice for Peace also has many resources for ways for US citizens to get involved, including protests

Donate to Palestine Children’s Relief Fund

Donate to Medical Aid for Palestine

Donate to help get food and hygiene kits to Gaza

[imhereonthekitchenfloor]

Which season has the worst weather?

spring (cold -> warm. rain. mud. nature coming to life. flowers blooming.)

summer (hot. thunderstorms. bright. bugs and nature thriving)

fall (warm-> cool. rain. colorful. nature going to sleep. leaves EVERYWHERE)

winter (cold. snow, slush, and ice. dark. quiet. monotone.)

Voting ended onFeb 4, 2024

[baggnshield]

Hello! I was wondering if you had any Gentlebeard fanfic you would recommend on ao3? Ideally a nice slow-burn with a few chapters but honestly anything you like would be great - just on the search for more fics to digest. Thank you!

I'd recommend everything by @xoxoemynn and @darcylindbergh if you're looking for some very soft and in character, kinda awkward but also canon compliant, ed and stede ❤️ they've both got a ton of shorter works too. My favourite ofmd fics are:

Witness Marks (unhinged smut, horny clock boys)

Where the Daylight Begins (long but so so good, slow burn, I've read this one 4 to 5 times by now, magical realism and lovable crew on top of lovable ed and stede)

Roll for Charisma (so fluffy and some top quality pining, the plot of the show is their D&D campaign)

Separating Salt from Water by @nonagethimus (one of the tags is homoerotic shark hunting, enough said)

You Belong in that Home By and By (everyone wants Stede, but Stede only wants Ed)

Two Birds @red-sky-in-mourning (very gentle romance tinged with good angst but happy endings)

Grounded (fluffy smut, stede is something else in darcy's hands, no one gets him this right trust me)

Your Name Like a Boat (the angst oh my god this one still hurts, another one I've read a bunch of times and a very fulfilling ending)

The Kraken's Sacrifice @trinityofone (actual kraken ed and they're so soft and in love, this one is a bit out there but it's so interesting, i finished it in one sitting)

From Gloom to Grace @bizarrelittlemew (pollen but it makes them cuddle is there anything better)

Stealing Romance (I prayed for a realistic jealous ed fic and this one is it)

Little Wonder @ofmd-alsaurus (stede has a tiny dick, ed is really into it, it's funny and sweet)

Only by the Grace of the Sea @palavapeite (hot priest stede, incredible writing, slow burn)

And I'd 100% recommend my own fic 😬 Moonstone Mage Championship (slow burn, fantasy, idiots to lovers)

[ofmd-ann]

Intense and very brave, I think you'll find.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Favorite absolutely fantastic Ed line delivery from season 2

I had a very rough night last night *cut to him on the floor sobbing like BAAAH*

It's up in leg heaven now 🦵😇

You're no fucking mermaid 🧜🏼‍♂️😤

A wolf?! 🐇

I'm sorry if my horrible naked chin disgusts you so 💔

BEHOLD *proudly presents very small fish* 🎣

("Toast, with a bite already taken?") That was me 😊

CONTROL YOUR POP-POP

YOU WROTE ME A LOVELY LETTER! 😠💌😠

I love you. I LOVE you. 💖👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Something else?

Voting ended onNov 13, 2023

[sirfrogsworth]

[avvocarlo]

dog in a bog

[evildoreah]

I CANNOT GET OVER THIS DOG

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said “oh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.”

I’m sorry?

That’s a challenge.

Oreos aquired.

I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first

But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she can’t find the package

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

She is out of the house for a moment so it’s time to enjoy a few cookies

And find a new hiding spot

Hehehe

They up there

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Normally I’m a Oreos with milk kinda guy, but I’ll take coffee if coffee is available

Now to hide them right under her nose

She never looks under the TV for anything. Tonight when we are watching Halloween Wars I’ll have a big dopey grin on my face

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Time to up the stakes. It was fun having em here and hiding them around her while she didn’t know what was happening. Bit now it’s time for her to be in on the game she is playing

Four cookies packed in her lunch. Game on

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I’ve been cleaning house today and feeling like I’ve done a pretty good job. Time to reward myself with some delicious Oreos

Aaaaand put them where she would never find them in a million years

:)

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Got up early this morning and helped pack everyone’s lunch. Pulling a damn Oprah over here

You get some cookies! You get some cookies! Everyone gets cookies!

Then a devious idea struck me…

I put the remaining Oreos in a baggie to hide by themselves. Now to “hide” the package where it will probably be found…

And pin the actual stash to the inside of the closet wall

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[kittyinhighheels]

If you two weren’t already married I’d beg you to marry her because you two are obviously perfect for each other and I love this post with all my heart

[masterofthenightscape]

This guy’s dopey grin at his success at hiding oreos is exactly what I’m here for

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

You like that eh? Well you are going to love today’s installment

Look at that. So sad. So few Oreos left

Guess I’ll just pin em right to the middle of the wall in the middle of the living room. She’ll never find em there

Oh, guess I should put this back up

Bwa ha ha ha! You guys! You guys don’t understand! I was planning on doing this and when I got home and looked at it I was like “aww, it’s too thin. They won’t fit.” I even TOLD my wife this and how I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to hide them back there.

But then I looked again. They dooooo

Thank you all so much for the love. I knew y'all would like this, but I had no idea you would like it THIS MUCH. People calling us “goals” and stuff… Man…. It’s kinda hard to take in ya know? Anyways: if this post gets Over 9000™ before I get off work today I will pick up Halloween Oreos on my way home and this will not stop

And, as promised, a dopey grin

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Twasnt easy to get the stupid video to load. But I got it and I recommend giving it a watch here: http://keepcalmandcarrieunderwood.tumblr.com/post/179330357103

She is so happy that the Oreo Saga continues. Just look at how happy she is

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Came home to find this

But she never looked inside the blue chair

Good stuff, but it’s time for some cookies

Gotta have some while I think about where these guys are going next

Hmmmmm

Got it.

[bokunoherokomikuko]

Imagine your otp

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

I’M HOLLERING

[soggywarmpockets]

Tonight I may have had an encounter with the smoothest human being on earth.

As many of you know I work as an actor in a haunted house. This is a fun job for many reasons, but witnessing people’s reactions to being scared is by far the best. I’m a scare window actor, which means I hide behind a section of the wall that is held up by a latch that I can lift and drop away suddenly, scaring people with both my scream, and the loud sound my window makes upon being dropped. I have a small hole drilled in the wall to look through to see people passing.

The smoothest human being on the planet wore a white hoodie. He came in a group with three other friends. I did not expect to scare him much. After a while you can kind of gauge just by what you can glimpse from your peephole whether someone will be a good scare or not. Men in their 20’s in a mixed group of friends typically do not get scared easily. But this guy was wearing white in my blacklight-equipped hallway, so he had made himself an easy target and I had to take advantage.

I dropped my window precisely when he was in front of it.

He leapt back toward the wall on the other side of my narrow hallway and his drew back his arm like he meant to punch me.

“This is it.” I thought. “I’m finally going to be socked in the face for scaring someone.”

But I was wrong.

His arm kept curling back behind his head. Smoothly, flawlessly, effortlessly he tucked his hand behind his head, leaned back on the wall opposite me, and propped a foot up on the plywood frame of my open window, reclining with ease.

“So, come here often?” He asked.

All of this occurred within the span of a second. Maybe two.

I was shook. I was stunned. I almost broke character.

I shrugged. “Only on the weekends.” I replied with my character voice. His group laughed. He double finger gunned me and walked on.

I will never forget him.

I cannot stress enough how perfect his transition from his fear reaction to his playboy act was. It flowed so naturally.

He is already a legend in my haunt.

[poseidont]

a concept: future jake and amy having a kid BUT amy goes into labour on halloween and jake has to figure out if amy is cheating him out of the heist or if he’s actually about to have a kid

[dizzybunnies]

bold of you to assume she didnt plan to get pregnant exactly 9 months before halloween so that its actually both

[mrgaretcarter]

bold of you to assume it wasnt jake who planned to get her pregnant exactly 9 months before so she’d be thrown off by contractions

[mrgaretcarter]

bold of all of us to assume Holt didn’t pick an exact date to compliment them both so they’d have validation horniness so that jake AND amy were in disadvantage during the heist

[sparkitors]

If Pride and Prejudice took place in 2018, there would be markedly less garden-walking, an equal amount of upper-class snobbery, and 100% more texting.

Keep reading

[dgsafdmd]

[chrisbrecheenwritingaboutwriting]

[peyfler]

A Walgreens of Amethyst and Snowing

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

A Gas Station of Sapphire and Scattered Thunderstorms

[fulltimeprocrastinator]

A Target of Citrine Sun and Rain

[iloveyouandilikeyou]

A McDonald’s of Pearl and Sun

[lulabo]

A Big Y of Turquoise and Overcast Humidity

[brigittepaulin]

[pulpfanfiction]

goodnight sweet prince

[denisvileneuve]

Captain Holt + exclamations

[bethofbells]