JOSH WALLEN. 27.

real life emoticon; can be found chasing food trucks or in the emergency room with his skateboard. Josh lives at North Street Apartments with his roommate Devan Park and works at Magnolia Pizza and Bad Garden.

[oliviabautista]

I like to clean. I work better in an organized environment, and even if I don’t have any, like, actual plays to rehearse for down here, that doesn’t mean I can’t keep my machine well oiled. 

He’s fine. I’ve replaced his bag of Cheetos every time it empties. 

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

I just don’t want to clean when I get home, I guess. It’s so late and my feet hurt.

I thought you were gonna do that one play with the dancing princesses or... fairies? Was it fairies?

Man, I wish Dev did that. She just steals the chips from me.

[oliviabautista]

I can do all that and also clean everything out. It’s not like I’m living in a a mansion over here. 

I think Cam forgets he exists sometimes; he hasn’t left the computer in about 72 hours, so I’ll bring you his plate tomorrow. 

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

But that’s still just so much cleaning, I don’t understand. I mean, I clean at the pizza place and the bar but like, they pay me?

Nah, I’m sure he’s hungry. I would be if I was stuck in a room that long.

[oliviabautista]

There’s 24 hours in a day, which means 48 hours in two - more than enough time to clean a small two bedroom apartment and get rid of unnecessary items. 

I think it’s good, though I’m not sure if Cam’s gonna agree - if he ever crawls out of his office to eat any. If there’s leftovers, I’ll bring you some tomorrow. 

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

But like... sleep and eating and singing terribly in the shower, those are important parts in the day. You can’t ignore them to clean.

Sometimes I forget Cam exists but yeah, give me food anytime you like.

[oliviabautista]

It’s not crazy often I get a Saturday and Sunday off, which means I’ve taken total advantage of this rare opportunity and celebrated by cleaning out the entire house. Closets have been reorganized and rifled through, anything no one’s worn in years has been donated, I’m going to sell some old movies and things we don’t watch anymore tomorrow, and I even managed to try my hand at a new recipe from a french cooking book I forgot I had for whenever Cam breaks out of his current writing reverie. 

I’d say I’m winning wife of the year over here today. 

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

... how did you do all that in two days?

Also is french food good? I’ve never had french food but I love food.

[spotlightberry-deactivated20161]

I can’t remember the last time I was this sick.

I haven’t left my bed in days, I think I’ve marathoned every episode of That 70′s Show twice, and I have officially run the Pharmacy out of chicken noodle soup. 

Someone come and lay down with me until the world stops spinning around me? 

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

Oh man, I’m really good at laying down to get rid of the spinning. Can I come give you tips?

[judegardel-deactivated20160804]

Where there’s pizza, there’s Jude. What kind of pizza is it?

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

I don’t even remember what kind I have left. Didn’t you take one home the other day?

[rhodesamelia]

Couldn’t you have returned the pizza and blamed the person who was taking orders? I’m more about healthy lifestyle, and pizza doesn’t quite fit into that, but thanks for the offer.

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

Nah, that’s a lot of pizza to return for no money and the order was right, it was just a mixup I think. 

You don’t board, you don’t eat pizza? What do you do for fun and like... you know, not being so good all the time?

[pipercorden-blog]

Yes. They were so cute and excited about it. A little too excited maybe, but who am I to judge their love?

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

I don’t know I’m just... old people doing it is... ew.

I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.

[pipercorden-blog]

Maybe she was trying to have a party but forgot to invite anyone. We should all go party with her.

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

Your brother said someone was trying to pull a prank, so I think she was just actually confused. Poor lady. 

[raymondhart-blog]

Yeah, I’ve got two younger sisters, and the one seems to do just about everything best. Used to be kind of frustrating, but I’m mostly just proud now. And babies are great, especially when you don’t have to be responsible for them.

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

Believe it or not, I’m a good babysitter. You know, if your sister ever needs one. I know I don’t look it, but I’m super great with kids.

[cordenharrison]

Are kids still pulling that pizza prank? Maybe I’m not as out of touch as I thought. 

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

... wow, I didn’t even think about it being a prank. Now I feel even worse. She was so sweet. Maybe I should have left her one of the pizzas.

[pipercorden-blog]

I’m sorry, but I totally didn’t even catch that story because pizzas and garlic bread? I’m so there. Don’t let Devan eat them all before I come.

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

Even The Great Devolition can’t tackle this mountain alone. There’s so much Pipes. Though I still can’t figure out why this little old lady ordered so much.

[raymondhart-blog]

Not sure what to make of the fact that my little sister keeps beating me to some pretty significant milestones these days. On the plus side, I’m now an uncle to a precious baby girl. And my well-earned vacation hours are finally about to be put to good use visiting her for a week.

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

Dude,  my little sisters beat me to everything like... everything. My older brothers aren’t any better, but like, it’s fine, they’re older but even my baby sister is like five steps ahead of me.

But hey, babies are cute. Everyone wins.

[pipercorden-blog]

I just sold a Kama Sutra to an elderly couple. It was incredibly awkward, but at least after however many years they’re still in love and having fun and trying new things. I mean, it’s kind of beautiful.

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

That’s... are you sure beautiful is the word you wanted?

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

I think this little old lady forgot she ordered pizza since she was super surprised when she opened the door and saw me holding this mountain of boxes.

I felt bad so I paid for them and now I have nine pizzas and garlic bread. And like, that’s too much pizza so come have some? Please? They won’t fit in the fridge.

[pipercorden-blog]

Yeah, probably, but not like, recurring ones. I’m so bad at remembering my dreams though, so maybe I’m being chased by ice cream cones on the regular. I guess I’ll never know.

A house and a dog sounds perfect. It must be kind of nice to just go with the flow, right? Keeps you from feeling stuck.

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

I bet you get chased by ice cream every night.

Yeah, it’s nice. I guess sometimes I feel a little bored but that’s normal for everyone everywhere, right?

Why do you feel stuck?

[raymondhart-blog]

Fun for you. Not so much for those of us still drinking.

[thatjoshwallen-blog]

Well if you put it that way, no but from the bartender’s side it’s kind of funny because everyone either leaves or orders the biggest thing they can think of. And usually I’m so fucking tired by then after doing pizza all day and then the bar, so last call  is cool.