$6 SRIMP SPECIAL

| i'm here to be weird about fictional men | 30 | he/they/it |

[thatweirduncle]

i feel like i deserve a reward for telling my father off after he tried to pull some bullshit w my brother and going officially no-contact with him

[cannibalchicken]

[red-berin]

Kyle Gordon's back

[cringecorp]

so. i do this thing where i wake up still half-asleep, write a note in my phone, and then fall back asleep and forget about it completely until i find the note later.

and i need to show you all some of these because ?????

[theo-the-door]

Trans guy going on T, call that Project Male Hairy

[thecryptkeeper]

tomorrow is a new day and we’ll approach it together

[elliespectacular]

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

[argumate]

hell yeah! I never meet any hot chicks in ##USER_CITY##, it’s a total backwater!

[adhoption]

take me down to the ##USER_CITY## where the grass is ##COLOUR## and the girls are ##USER_PREFERENCE##

[tongue-twists]

btw dating sucks as a concept.

[tongue-twists]

meeting up with someone with the explicit goal of figuring out whether or not you want a relationship with them spoils the dynamic. it sucks. it's terrible. fall in love with your friends like normal people.

[tongue-twists]

as expected this one is a hit with the autism website

[homunculus-argument]

You know you've fucked up when you go to a doctor and the thing you have wrong with you has been named after an occupation that isn't a thing anymore. Like imagine a doctor looking at you and going "yeah you've got ox-drawn ploughman's disease. We don't even test for that anymore. Yeah the reason you've never heard of it is because the last known case was in 1927 and happened to some guy who was like 98 years old and didn't believe in modern medicine of the time. What the fuck have you been up to."

[vidrig]

Here in Sweden we have a pretty active larping community and many of them have a historical setting. I remember a story of a really awesome WW2 larp where, unfortunately, one of the participants hadn't removed his boots for three days straight and it rained the whole time. His feet suffered so much that he had to be taken to the hospital, which was a sight to behold. See, this guy covered in mud and wearing authentic WW2 gear had managed to get an incredibly historically correct case of trench foot. From a trench.

[a-bed-of-moss-deactivated202605]

Peer reviewed! Too good to leave!

[charseraph]

[asteroidtroglodyte]

When I got Gout and the doctor told me the diagnosis I laughed so hard the doctor then asked me if I was on any psych meds. I was just like “wait so I got Old Timey Rich Person Disease?”

Roughly paraphrasing his response: “well by your own admission you live on a diet of shellfish and wine, and you came into my office dressed like a vampire. Like. Yea man you gave yourself Gout. You want me to check you for Consumption while I’m at it? Go eat some vegetables, please.”

The most modern of medicine is no match for a Human who insists upon recreating the behaviors of their ancestors, it would seem.

[doctorslippery]

Shaggy's spidey sense went off at the mention of Bat Milk.

[catsandwich-deactivated20240213]

This is a literal sexual harassment training video we had to complete

[quendergeer]

i assumed this was porn

[hjartasalt]

Iceland is fucking bizarre my name change made the news

[hjartasalt]

Like just @ me at this point I'm literally the only person in iceland (and very possibly the world) who has the first name Lauf

(Article title reads "Lauf and Birningur in group of new names in the name register")

[hjartasalt]

No one lives here so now two of our biggest news outlets are vagueing about me lmao

[hjartasalt]

Hmm you're right. Correction: two of our biggest media outlets are talking about me specifically because they are obsessed with me

[hjartasalt]

This morning I showed up to work and my boss was like "congratulations :))" and I was kinda confused so asked her on what and she said "your name, I heard about it on the radio"

So far I have counted two online articles and apparently the radio is also talking about my name change so I'll keep you guys updated when I'm on national tv or something

[cipheramnesia]

With a little legwork we can make more people on Tumblr see this than the entire population of Iceland.

[ru1n3r]

2020 was simultaneously three weeks ago and one billiom years ago and both are correct

[yanguang]

the cutes..

[orphetoon]

sometimes on the tumblr app you click on an image to see it fullscreen and it will give you a completely different image it has sourced from the fucking aether. i hope they never fix this because i got flashbanged with an image of scooby doo calling me a ‘raggot’

[hometoursandotherstuff]