I Like Cats

My interests include the cute, the creepy, the silly, and the profound. Call me Cat. She/her. Ace. Theatre artist

[elventhespian]

Best dialog

[scorpio-system]

AAA video game publisher voice: "Look. The goose layed a golden egg, and that's nice! Everyone loved that egg. But keeping the golden goose means paying for bird feed and I don't want to, so I killed the goose."

[vanshira]

#‘that goose keeps laying golden eggs. that’s stagnation. I’m going to kill it and go look for a goose that lays diamond eggs’#‘that goose normally lays golden eggs but this time it laid a silver egg. I’m going to kill it because even though I can still make good#money with that it’s not as good as a golden egg’#‘that golden egg laying goose only lays an egg once a day instead of constantly shitting them out. I don’t care that golden eggs take time#if they’re not constant the goose is worthless to me’

@thebaldursmouthgazette y u leave all the good stuff in the tags

[fluorescentbrains]

this lab safety training module is sending me

[fluorescentbrains]

I feel like whoever wrote these questions was speaking from experience

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[pantheratigrisaltaica]

for those curious, this is joanne, a 15-year-old sumatran tiger currently living at phoenix zoo. it's very sweet to see her playing and tumbling around like this at her age -- she's got some people taking care of her if she still has this energy at that age.

i did see some users in the notes who were concerned about her looking 'scrawny', or wondering if she's maybe a juvenile -- far from it! at 15, joanne is very much considered a geriatric tiger; she's a grandma. she is, however, a sumatran tiger (panthera tigris sumatrae) -- sumatrans are the smallest extant subspecies of tiger, built more for the sweltering jungles of sumatra than the blistering cold of the amur river or the dense forests and mangrove swamps of south asia.

when you're used to seeing amur or amur-bengal hybrid ('generic') tigers on television or online, most of which are often overfed and overweight, a sumatran is going to look a bit weird, but joanne looks to be in wonderful shape -- look at those muscles flex and that coat shimmer when she moves! that's a healthy old lady for sure. props to joanne's keepers for taking such good care of her.

[ttaibhse]

love this can’t believe it only has 1 like

[gilgameshhimself]

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

[higglety]

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

[screenshotsofdespair]

[werewolveswithagenda]

I think Tumblr will love this

[i-am-shitpost]

For the love of GOD turn the volume on

[the-real-seebs]

every day someone thinks of an art form no one did before

[monster1994]

Lately ive been finding myself relating to the dying pig

[monster1994]

[discountalien-pancake]

@longsightmyth within five minutes of meeting the ex-husband in The Double: i want to kill this man.

[discountalien-pancake]

myth: this man is really bad at wife-murder. If i were to commit wife-murder i’d be a lot more effective and less dramatic about it.

me: i think you simply wouldn’t commit wife-murder

[longsightmyth]

But had I ever learned I should have been a great proficient

[kaijuerotica]

i hate that diet culture means all the tasty drinks everywhere are loaded with stevia now. this isn't even a stance about health, I just think it tastes so fucking bad

[hotvampireadjacent]

Sweden ????

[ashketchupandfries]

So Sweden used to give random citizens control over the official @Sweden Twitter account for like a day/week/month or whatever. As you can see why, it didn’t last long

[leninthesixth]

what do you mean it didn't last long they did this for like seven years between 2011 and 2018 they didn't stop doing it because someone tweeted about cock sdfgsdfgsdfgsdf they kept doing it for four more years after this

[omghotmemes]

Ths bishop’s twitter post

[enaroholmes]

I experienced a few embarrassing seconds of confusion because in my language (French) the bishop is called the fool

[jellyfish-neo]

[mephistopheles]

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

[mephistopheles]

500 MILES?!?!?!

[stuckinapril]

A lot of people will judge their compatibility with someone off things like “do they have hobbies” “are they funny” “are they ambitious” “what music do they like” literally whatever the fuck. But even though someone could check all those boxes, a connection can never be appropriately formed if the answer to “do they make me feel safe” is ambivalent and unclear. Always ask yourself “do I feel safe around this person” when forming both friendships and relationships. Ask if you’re a safe person for them too. How cool a person is can never make up for lack of emotional safety on either end.

[cryptidjeepers]

just watched a star trek episode about a planet that relied so heavily on it's computer system that they all forgot the basics of their own knowledge. and that allowed them to miss the fact that they were being posioned with radiation and nearly ending their civilization. because they couldn't use their own knowledge to figure things out. i bring this up for no reason in particular

[pankendev]

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This is why you shouldn't take off The Amulet to shower.