Hoes Mad

rels | 20 | she/her | latina | bi

[erascrhead]

everyones talking about rip midoriya ‘cause he’s dealing with all the family drama, but no. no.

RIP in fucking pieces Manual: The motherfucking Normal Hero who did not sign up for keeping up with the todoroki’s, OR bakugou’s swiss cheesery eureaka moment, OR aizawa’s tis but a scratch leg removal OR midoriya’s double whammy chamber of secrets-esque arm deboning shenanigans and his avatar cycle bending battle with shigaraki. Not to mention last time he was near a UA intern, that kid went to fucking murder someone, and guess what, manual has to deal with him right now too.

[shirakum-owo-boro]

Normal Hero: Manual, watching all this clownery happen right before his very eyes

[always-dawn]

#somebody give this man a medal for being dragged thru the thick of it by midoriya and co. Manual is re-accessing his desire to take in interns these kids are wack how did they even become like this? *looks over to Aizawa cutting off his own leg without hesitation* Ah I see thats why

😂 let the poor man water his potted plants in peace, maybe hang out with RockLock’s family

Aizawa: hey Manual u did a good job helping Iida and me, i might have some more kids for u next time

Manual: …is it too late to run

[shirakum-owo-boro]

Manual turning around to see the 16 year old broccoli-head intern that took down Stain go up against the now God-powered 20 year old by using the power of arm-breaking

Manual turning back around just in time to see Aizawa chop off his own leg after getting shot by a quirk erasing bullet

Manual turning back to see if Deku survived only to find the explosion kid with a temper push Deku out of the way and get impaled by the God-powered 20 year old’s spider legs

Turning around again when he hears some random guys scream “DANCE WITH YOUR SON IN HELL” and seeing the apparently not-dead Todoroki Touya dance and yell about his daddy issues

When Iida “I need to avenge my brother by murdering his attacker” Tenya shows up to the party

pray for this man

[shirakum-owo-boro]

@erascrhead​ hey op I just checked your blog name and its #Give Manual A Raise 2k20, and not gonna lie, I choked on water after reading that because that made this post 1000% funnier

also

@fanfiction-artist-prototype​  @plagus-spiritus you guys just killed me. This is the way this post should end.

[erascrhead]

@bnhastanning in honor of the god-tier contributions that have had me cackling for the past 3 days straight, I give you the best of the tags:

And then, my personal favorite:

[the-disaster-switch]

Y/N in Hunter x Hunter

Uvogin: How did I end up here?

Y/N: Like always, you laughed too hard at your own joke and blacked out

----------

Hisoka: I’m jealous of your heart because it’s pumping inside you and I’m not

Y/N: I- ok

----------

Illumi: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Y/N

Milluki: What? Not everyone likes Y/N

Illumi: Who doesn’t?

Milluki: Well-

Illumi: Names, now. Give me their names

----------

Y/N: Every time Machi hears me crying in my room she slips money under my door

Nobunaga: Really? Machi tells me to shut up

----------

Y/N, jokingly: I should have Chrollo kill you for that

Chrollo, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?

Y/N: Wh- no, I was just kidding around

Chrollo, pulling out his book: No, who’s bothering you?

---------

Y/N: Hey, what’s the name of the guy we always run into in town?

Kite: His dogs’ names are Boots and Spots 

Y/N: That’s not what I asked

Kite: That’s the information I have

----------

Leorio, very drunk: *points to y/n* That’s my girlfriend, suckers!

Killua, sighing: Your wife, idiot

Leorio: My WIFE! EVEN BETTER!

----------

Y/N: From now on Alluka, if anyone laughs at you, they’ve gotta go through me

Alluka: Really? Anyone? What about Hulk riding a rhinoceros? Would you stop him from laughing?

Y/N: Wait, is Hulk laughing or the rhinoceros?

Alluka: Both but the rhinoceros doesn’t know why. He just wants to fit in

----------

Y/N: Kurapika I did something terrible

Kurapika: It’s okay, I have a shovel

Y/N: Wait, what do you think I did?

Kurapika: Doesn’t matter. No one will ever know, trust me

----------

Y/N: Does anyone have a flashlight?

Killua: Gon is the only light I need

Y/N: Leorio is going to die, Killua

----------

Y/N: You’re so tall. What can you see up there?

Hisoka: Everyone’s flaws

----------

Chrollo: We all have our own problems

Y/N: *points to Killua and Gon* These two are mine

--------

Y/N: Hey Feitan, wanna draw a mustache on phinks

Feitan: You woke me up at 2am for this shit?

Y/N: Yeah...

Feitan: Worth it

[the-disaster-switch]

Y/N in Bungou Stray Dogs

Fukuzawa: Would you say you are independent?

Atsushi: *looks at Y/N

Y/N: *Nods*

Atsushi: Yes I would say so

----------

Dazai carrying a large box: What would you do if I came home with, um, Chuuya Nakahara?

Y/N: What’s in the box?

Dazai: ...

Y/N: Osamu, what’s in the box?

Dazai: I think you know

----------

Ranpo: I gave the police captain a get well soon card

Y/N: That’s surprisingly nice of you

Ranpo: He’s not sick I just think he should do better

----------

Y/N: What’s the first thing you notice when a man approaches you?

Yosano: The audacity

----------

Mori: Alright listen up you monsters!

Mori: Except you, Y/N. You’re an angel and we are all thrilled you’re here

----------

Y/N: Higuchi, tell Akutagawa he’s an idiot but I still love him

Higuchi: Gross. Tell him yourself

Y/N: We’re in a fight

Higuchi: You’re sitting on his lap?

----------

Y/N: What goes up but never comes down?

Kunikida: The stress you bring me and this company

----------

Chuuya: This date is boring

Y/N: This isn’t a date. I said I was going to the store

Chuuya: Then why did you invite me?

Y/N: I specifically said “don’t come with me” and then you said  “Fuck you Y/N, I do what I want” and followed me here

----------

Kunikida: Why is Ranpo on the bathroom floor crying?

Kenji: He’s drunk

Kunikida: Okay and?

Y/N: He heard that I was married.

Kunikida: He’s married to you though

Y/N: He forgot

[the-disaster-switch]

Y/N in BNHA- LOV Edition

Y/N: *kisses Tomura’s neck*

Shigaraki: What is this?

Y/N: Affection

Shigaraki: Disgusting

Shigaraki: Do it again

----------

Twice: I really like Y/N but I’m afraid if I ask them out they’ll say no

Toga: Dude, I don’t know what your stressing about. Y/N would totally go out with you, you just gotta play it cool

Twice: Play it cool, got it

Twice 10 minutes later: *kidnaps y/n*

----------

Y/N just getting home: Hello, people who do not live here

Toga: Hi

Dabi: Hey

Y/N: I gave you the keys for emergencies 

Twice: We ran out of doritos

----------

Y/N: You’re the greatest wife ever!

Toga: I wish I could marry you all over again!

Toga: *gasps* Let’s get divorced!

----------  

Y/N: I’m having guy problems

Magne: His dead body won’t fit in my car problems or I like him problems?

Y/N: I like him

Magne: Too bad, I could’ve helped more with the other one but I got you honey

----------

Compress: You’re smiling, did something good happen?

Y/N: Can’t I smile just because I feel like it?

Spinner: Dabi tripped and fell in the parking lot while trying to dramatically walk away from the fire

----------

Shigaraki: I’m angry with you

Y/N: I’m angry with you too. Let’s give each some space

Shigaraki: Fine

Y/N: *climbs off his lap and sits next to him still holding hands*

Dabi: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

----------

Kurogiri: What kind of tea is this?

Y/N: Oh I just boiled some gatorade 

----------

Y/N: Where have you been

Compress coming back from hearing Dabi backstory: Emotional hell

----------

Spinner: Did y/n just tell me they loved me for the first time

Compress: Yes

Spinner: And did I do finger guns back?

Compress: Yes you did

---------

 Y/N: Well what do you normal do when I’m gone?

Toga: *tearing up* Wait for you to come back

---------

Y/N to Overhaul: Don’t talk to me or my girlfriend and 5 boyfriends ever again

----------

BONUS: CHAPTER 290 Spoilers

Y/N: No one asked you to take your shirt off. Stop volunteering to take your shirt off

Dabi: I can’t hear you. My shirt’s over my ears

[the-disaster-switch]

Y/N in BNHA (PART 2)

Y/N: *accidently brushes Bakugo’s hand with their own*

Bakugo: *aggressively holds their hand*

Bakugo: Fucking commit to it

----------

Y/N and Iida: *staring lovingly into each other eyes*

Todoroki: *opens a can of soda*

Iida: We’re having a moment

Todoroki: And I’m having a coke

----------

Monoma: I know you hate me but-

Y/N: Wait what? You think I hate you?

Monoma: You always get all red when I enter the room, and you’re always watching me, and you never want to hang out with me alone, and you get all tense when I walk close to you and oh, yep, now I hear it. You have a crush on, that’s adorable

----------

Y/N: *getting ready to visit Dabi*

Y/N: Ok, how do I look?

Kurogiri: Like a widow in mourning

Y/N: Perfect! He’ll know I’m available 

----------

Y/N: *staring at momo* She could kill me and I’d thank her

Bakugo hearing this for the 100th time: I’d thank her too

----------

Y/N: You know what?

Tamaki: What y/n?

Y/N: I’m gonna fuck the sun

Tamaki: What?

Y/N: I’m gonna fuck the sun

Tamaki: Y/n no

Mirio: Tamaki, my man, let y/n speak

----------

Shinso: *after joint trainning* In honor of what happened today, you can hug me for four to five seconds

Y/N: FOURTY FIVE SECONDS?!

Shinso: NO FOUR TO FIVE SEC-

Y/n: TOO LATE

[the-disaster-switch]

Y/N in BNHA

Kaminari: Do you like me?

Y/N: It’s 4 in the morning, we’re not going through this again

Kaminari: But do you like me or like like me?

Y/N: DENKI WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR THREE YEARS

Kaminari: YOUR NOT ANSWERING THE QUESTION

Y/N: *sighs* Yes Denki, I like like you

Kaminari: *smirks* knew it

__________

Random Villain: *sits next to y/n* 

Y/N: *scoots over*

Random Villain: C’mon I don’t bite

Shigaraki: But I fucking do

__________

Y/N: You want me to talk about it? Haha, no no, I prefer to internalize all my problems until they eat away at me from the inside and I am no longer able to function

Bakugo: See this is the shit I’m talking about. What the fuck am I suppose to do with that information? Should I be worried or pissed?

__________

Todoroki: What are you doing?

Y/N: *squiggling in his arms* Hiding

Todoroki: Do you mean hugging?

Y/N: Did I stutter

Bakugo: *from down the hall* I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING SHIT

__________

*in a play argument*

Y/N: Fuck you

Shinso: Later. Now, listen here you little shit-

__________

Y/N: Jesus it’s cold

Midoriya: Here you can have my hoodie, I’m not really cold

Y/N: Thanks I’ll give it back tomorrow

*later in the dorms*

Y/N: *aggressively hugging and inhaling the hoodie while curled up in it* I’m not giving this back