The Existential Baker

Looking at life from an existential lens and processing it in a thought container

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The Next 30 Years Without You

The Next 30 Years Without You

When I moved to NYC, I was so done with dating and my small hometown, Endicott, NY.  I wanted more out of life than working for IBM, which started in my hometown! In early September of 1985, I told my parents that in 2 weeks I was moving to NYC, with no job, and nowhere to live, they freaked.  I was not worried about finding a job, that was easy I found my cousin Joni, in Brooklyn Heights, moved…

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The Best Thanksgiving EVER!

The Best Thanksgiving EVER!

  The week of Thanksgiving in 1997, Keith had an emergency appendectomy, his appendix ruptured, and he got peritonitis, so his recovery took longer than usual!  Keith was an amazing Chef, and he was, in fact, the only one who could cook in the house! In 1989, after I cooked my first meal for him, (we were already married a year) he had threatened to put crime scene tape around the kitchen after…

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Wind Beneath Our Wings

Wind Beneath Our Wings

Keith and I had our first child together, our daughter Megan, on February 26, 1990.  After three weeks, we discovered she was in congestive heart failure, she had an enlargement of her heart called Cardiomyopathy and she was put on many different medications, to help her heart, beat efficiently.  When she was only 7 months old, however, she suffered a massive heart attack…

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Grief is Not Grief

Grief is Not Grief

  Grief in a word is Difficult!  It is Difficult to explain, Difficult to describe, Difficult to go through, and Difficult to watch someone you care about to go through it!  But grief is a very personal thing, some people think that it is love, others believe it is darkness!  Many people believe that they can fix you, and others like to equate their grief with yours.  If they lost a sibling or a…

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For the Love of Our Human

For the Love of Our Human

  When we lose the most important person in our lives, we as humans all grieve differently and need time to heal.  So do our animals, this is the story of how our puppy dealt with the loss of his favorite human, Keith!

Our daughter, Kellie, had been sending Keith and I pictures of this dog, a small black Labrador-Beagle mix.  She was telling us how adorable he was, but he was living in a…

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No Big Deal

  It was a beautiful morning, much like today, seven years ago, on Wednesday, June 22, 2011, Keith and Kellie were by my side, as I was putting on my hospital gown and getting into a hospital bed.  We were all making nervous small-talk, and Keith was making his usual sarcastic puns and quips. As the anesthesiologist comes into the room, all I said to him was I better wake up…

When Keith and I…

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The First Father's Day

The First Father’s Day

**I posted his on my social media on Father’s Day

When Keith and I started talking about getting married, I was really not interested in having children, and since he already had two children from his first marriage, I asked him “are you ok if your two children are all the children you have?” He told me “yes, but I think you will change your mind someday!” I told him, “I don’t think so,” and we…

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Missing My Love

My name is Maureen Jaret, and I am Keith “The Existential Baker’s” wife.  With a heavy heart and in case you did not realize it, my beautiful husband, poet, chef, father, and grandfather passed away on February 8, 2018.  Please see his last post of February 1, “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.”

I have been trying to decide what I would do with his blog, which he loved and nurtured for the last six…

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Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

    Death is the eater of time and in the end no one escapes time Death knows not discrimination It’s sojourner paid me a visit Frigid fingers of finality Toying with my bones Sending chills to my marrow Tapping into my syrup of life Glaring perniciously his anxious eyes Leering mockingly a disdainful smirk Baited breath of icy anticipation Whispering “Surrender and succumb” I will not surrender…

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Say My Name

    You can say my name But who am I really What am I supposed to be One thing for sure I’m not a name That’s not who I am It’s a title assigned to me By Mom and Dad That’s how I came to be me So who am I really? A silk sheet thought One fleeting random moment A consequence of love Shared by my parents An accident of birth You can say my name But I’m much more than a title Much more than a belief…

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T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE FESTIVUS

T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE FESTIVUS

  A Festivus visit J.T. Hilltop T’was the night before Festivus When all through the house The computer was buffering I lost the wireless mouse The gluten free cupcakes were baked with such care In the hopes that the end of GMO was soon near The children ate sugar free Nestles they had snuck in their beds As visions of organic plums danced in their heads Mom in sexy teddy who was straddling my…

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WHAT IF

  A metaphoric chance meeting A cliché reuniting yesterdays love Two hearts that once beat together Cashing in on one of fates offers After thousands of unshared sunsets So many that came and went unnoticed Now two proverbial ships clash I saw my childhood love by chance We began to share our histories So many years have passed yet… Seems not a day of that on her face What else but fate could…

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YOU CAN GET ANYTHING YOU WANT

  One of the main attributes of any good hippie is buying into the concept of non conformity. We were down with counterculture, down with breaking traditions, down with zippers, free love, and expensive weed. Tha said, many of us did indeed hold on too, and some of us still do hold onto a Hippie Tradition every November. Alice’s Restaurant is our beloved Hippie tradition and just about anywhere…

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Conspiracy Theory

    Shhhh Someone’s listening They always are Surreptitiously Reading emails Tapping phones Analyzing words Reading my mind Subliminal control Threw away the microwave Maybe they’re in my TV Or in my laptop Burrowing like moles The government Collecting data Another eavesdrop   Tin foil hats, alternate facts, telling us this when we know it’s that. What the fuck is that about? I want them quiet…

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An Existential View Of Creation (A JT Hilltop Twisted Tale)

An Existential View Of Creation (A JT Hilltop Twisted Tale)

  Adam, Eve, A Snake, and A Not So Immaculate Conception In the beginning the Creator invented seven time periods. He was tired so he made each one 24 hours and called it a day. After a good nights rest the Creator then placed Adam in a garden, yanked out one of his ribs and created the easily fooled Eve to keep him company (as if). The Creator made Eve without the snake appendage that was…

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HOPE PEBBLES

  There was a time Seems like ages ago When things appeared clear There was hope and a dream That people of all color Race religion or orientation Could live in peace Maybe I was too naïve Maybe I was too full of promise Maybe I was a dreamer But I believed Back when I was young I believed in life Back when I was young I believed in peace Back when I was young I cared Tossed pebbles of hope into…

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Opiod Solutions

  My life sucks I hate it So I hurt myself Not cause I dig pain For the medication Them Oxy’s help big time Not just for the ache But for the torment The hurt in my mind One makes it easy Two make it fade What will three do? Maybe it will go away That and a few beers No more tears So I get numb Novocain for the brain My life still sucks But I don’t give a shit So I get even more numb Finally I’m…

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