i taught swim lessons and preschool, do y’all wanna hear the most ridiculous white kid names i’ve ever seen?
i’ve met at least a dozen children named some form of “jackson” but the best ones were “jaxon” and “jakson”
a parent who i really liked named her son “jaycob” because she was worried people wouldn’t pronounce it correctly. when someone accidentally spelled it “jacob” she would loudly and obnoxiously ask “WHO’S JAH-KOBE?”
two siblings named “thor” and “tiara”
i once had a classroom with four girls named “brooklyn”
if you sent me a list of popular boy names, i could guarantee i’ve met every single one of them
twin girls named paisley and brinley
a girl named reader
a boy named rocko
keighleey
kayde
kolten
if it can start with a “k” instead of a “c” i have met that child
brittalynn
i taught a swim class with three girls named “london” but only one of them was spelled “lundon” and i know my boss did that to me on purpose
a couple named all their kids after places in arizona: tatum, payson, and hayden
and speaking of hayden, i’ve seen: haydon, heighden, and heydon
according to some white people, there are sixteen different ways to spell mckenzie
lakelyn, blakelynn
this is white culture
I had a student named Branch.
I once had pair of siblings named Hunter and Tanner. I really wanted them to have a sister named Fawn.
I had a Clark and Ophelia that were a bit unusual in the naming department.
And I had every single imaginable version of a girl’s name staring with “Mad-“ and every single imaginable version of a boy’s name ending in “-aden”
Mom’s a teacher. So far her best/worst white kid names:
“Damion with a Y” according to the parent. Daymion? Damyon? Nope. Damiony. The Y is silent, said parent
A girl named Free. Maybe not that bad on its own, but the girl’s last name was Love
A boy named Calup because his mom couldn’t spell Caleb
the y is silenty
saw a white lady who had a poodle named Leigheaux (Leo…)
