There is something I hate with DID, and itâs having this vague but intense fear of some situations with no explanation in sight because of the amnesia. My brain feels like a puzzle I must put back to have the complete image of my past and heal.
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@the-iska-collective
There is something I hate with DID, and itâs having this vague but intense fear of some situations with no explanation in sight because of the amnesia. My brain feels like a puzzle I must put back to have the complete image of my past and heal.
Hypervigilance is a common symptom of many mental health disorders and social conditions. It is a physiological response of constant alertness to the threats around you and from yourself. I've had a hard time coping with this symptom in general, as it would warp all my relationships, all my perceptions of myself, others and the world. On top of all of this, I felt it was providing me safety from the actual threats I've experienced and feared experiencing; I couldn't be further from the truth. Here are a few ways you can experience hypervigilance:
You might have phobic reflexes. Every unexpected or unpredictable sensory information is perceived as a threat (a sigh, loud walking, cars or people behind you, quick movements from others, etc.). You may jump, or be extremely started and irritable. Other times, you may have extreme emotional reactions or intense dissociation. Phobic reflexes are generally responses to sensory triggers.
Your body may rarely feel relaxed. A lot of stiffness, pain and discomfort can come from keeping your body at a high stress level. At long-term, you may end up developing chronic illnesses as your body is overwhelmed with the constant arousal of fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses.
You struggle doing any task that requires your full attention or a lack of alertness to your surroundings (paperwork, sleeping, reading, etc.). Your ability to function cognitively may be affected by hypervigilance as a whole, which means you'll experience cognitive rigidity, processing disinhibition and other executive dysfunctions. (Note: these are generally partially reversible when recovering from PTSD, GAD, OCD or other disorders with hypervigilant patterns or when you are no longer in a social context which requires this level of conscience of your surroundings).
You may overanalyze what people say or what you think in order to avoid any threat. The latter is particularly common in people with OCD or with trauma around philosophical concepts. You may perceive yourself as one step away from losing control, and may expect others to lose control as well. Generally, the feeling of loss of control resides in hypervigilance itself than actually acting against your values.
You may use escapism a lot, and develop addictions, behavioral or not. This reduces the sense of being constantly threatened temporarily, but increases the hypervigilance on the long-term and worsens the issue. These are a few of the signs you experience hypervigilance as a core coping mechanism ruling your reactions to your current social context as well as the disorders you might deal with. Trauma is the common denominator of this mechanism, although PTSD and C-PTSD isn't implied by default. Since hypervigilance is your body being in constant alertness, in order to reduce it, you must reduce the physiological stress then work on the mental components of hypervigilance at the same time. I will update this blog later with a few ways you could reduce hypervigilance.
Introduction.
Hello, I am e-november, you can call me Domi or Tommy. I am a 20 year-old college student who aspires to become a social worker and writer. I decided to start this blog in order to contribute to my community. Here are some facts about me that could interest you:
I am non-binary and bisexual. I currently am taking HRT.
I am autistic and plural. My current special interest is psychology. I also suffer from ulcerative colitis, an inflammatory bowel disease affecting the colon.
I journal everyday. Writing is one of my main ways to reflect, problem-solve and research solutions and theories. You will probably never catch me without something I can write in, may it be notebooks or electronic tools.
I am very interested in art, music and read a lot. I have a particular affection for the art nouveau genre and I mostly listen to electronic music and rap. As for reading, I am quite polyvalent in my tastes.
I love nature and everything that is calm and soothing to my nervous system. I am planning in the future to hike in the Himalayas or in the Rockies in Canada.
I am still quite new to this platform, so the blogs will increase in quality while I learn to navigate tumblr in general. Meanwhile, I canât wait to discuss with you all. Take care!
I hate you "click now to sync contacts". I hate you "sign in with Facebook". I hate you "connect with your Twitter". I hate you targeted ads. I hate you social media algorithms. I hate you brands and mascots with accounts. I hate you "upgrade to premium". I hate you free trials that require credit card info. I hate you pop up ads that take up half the screen. I hate you ads with sound. I hate you unskippable commercials. I hate you anti-piracy firewalls. I hate you late stage capitalism.
tumblr needs a ânot for youâ page where it just has things that you disagree with and make you angry
the for you page
this is called twitter
"why are people who do cool things always so weird"
i have a startling truth to keep from you... about the relationship between cool and weird
everytime i use tumblr now we see something either stolen directly from or reworded from our original system memeposts here in 2019
Lmaooo i just saw someone that stole our âthey/them is plural oh no youâve discovered my secretâ thing WORD FOR WORD. Like BRO
WE WROTE THAT!!
im not even that massively offended just like very mildly offended cuz like??? Credit please? wheres the etiquette??? Just reblog my original post?
we havent even posted here in years lol
As someone with violent and even homicidal ideation, I think the choices people make are far more indicative of their moral character than anything else.
Thoughts mean nothing. Thoughtcrimes don't exist, especially because what we think is out of our control. If you're not running around hurting people or advocating for others hurting people, then you're fine. For the love of fuck stop stigmatizing mental illnesses and and the unsavory symptoms some of them tend to have.
People can't help it whether they have intrusive thoughts or even fantasize about violence. It doesn't mean we're going to do it. I'm not going to apologize for my symptoms nor does someone finding them off-putting give them a license to be ableist/sanist about it.
hot take but i think pain should be discrete and purposeful (âstop touching a hot stoveâ and âstop bumping into furnitureâ) and then it should stop when it is no longer communicating useful and actionable information. you may disagree but i think chronic pain is bad.
#chronic pain communicates information like âstop having shouldersâ or âget rid of these kneesâ#none of which is achievable really unfortunately (via @calamitys-child)
trying to weed out the âfakersâ will inevitably lead to you harassing real disabled people who canât perform their disability well enough for you
My take on things
I'm coming to the conclusion that I have no real desire to interact with the larger DID community online. I don't get anything out of it beyond frustration and alienation. it often feels like I'm dealing with something different than these young adults and kids are- I make jokes and memes on occasion, but this shit is HARD. I'm constantly managing microcrises and putting out fires, and it burns me out pretty badly. I think that's why a lot of our previous hosts only lasted a few years at a time. I've got two other hosts helping keep things from going off the rails. self harm, eating disorders, internal conflict, amnesia, financially irresponsible parts, addiction, fragments coming and going, flashbacks... all in a day's work here. that's without having to manage a job because we're on disability.
that's why I don't follow a lot of people here. I stick to my server friends and a couple of other recovery oriented blogs. I occasionally browse the tags, but more and more often all I'm doing in there is blocking people who make me uncomfortable- especially those fictive source mate finder blogs that just won't stop popping up. fuck, I'm an fictional introject myself, and that shit makes me deeply uncomfortable. all those blogs do is encourage increased separation and higher dissociative barriers between parts. it's not healthy by any means, and I say this as someone who started out deeply attached to my source and had a difficult time accepting that I was not "actually luca" but instead am a dissociated part. finding source mates would have fucked me up so badly and prevented me from forming an identity outside of my substitute beliefs and pseudomemories. I'm happier and more functional now that I've separated from my source, and I don't think I'd want to meet source mates at all now.
I don't know, maybe I'm just too old for this online stuff. honestly, this blog functions less as a "system blog" and more of a journal to get our thoughts out. I have no interest in advocacy or cultivating a following. I know two people IRL with OSDDID and massively prefer interacting with them (and our server friends) over anything on tumblr or any other social media platform. I just want to work towards functional multiplicity, man. I want to lower our part count and fuse as many fragments as possible so we're not so... fragmented. I don't want to keep splitting, and it feels like a lot people in this community want the opposite.
Hi there! We were wondering if you are ok with/would like to be featured on our blog, @traumagenic-safe-blogs, where we share system blogs that are anti-endo. If not, that's ok! If yes, feel free to give a quick description of your blog and/or a brief introduction (not required). Have a great day!
no problem! we arent so active on here anymore though
So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward
what the fuck
Congrats to tiktok influencers for finding a way to turn âjudgmental high school mean girlâ into a career. You used to need a nursing degree to do that.
thinking about how in the 1800s i would've just been able to leave my town, change my appearance and my name, and wander until no one knew who i was
and then i would pretend to be a doctor and sell people fucked up little medicines