Just a confused system trying to figure stuff out

The plant system 🌱 || osdd-1b self-diagnosed || host is Elias (he/him) || at least 14 alters

[the-plant-system]

So this blog has been inactive for like 2 years. So im not even sure if i am a system, it could just be a really fun combination of dissociation, asd and ptsd. Anyways I am still very much struggling with dissociation nowadays so its not like im gonna figure it out anytime soon.

Might still post some other mental health stuff on here but forgive me if it stays inactive ^^

[the-plant-system]

Protector @ host: please draw some art, art is good we need to drawwwwww

Host: draws some really painful vent art

Protector: *sighs* baby steps i guess

[fangirlinginleatherboots]

Bootsie Life | #31 | 17.02.15 | Would You Really?

-this comic is about Dissociative Identity Disorder and in response to a comment from a doubtful family member- 

-ok 2 rb if you dont have DID-

-THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT ABOUT KINTYPES- do not tag as oc or kin-

[the-crisscrossed-system]

This!! My system is really covert in “real life” but when we’re alone with our partner we’re not as much. But usually, you can’t really tell who is fronting unless we want you too. It’s how we stay safe!

[thecactisystem-deactivated20210]

Dear Systems,

Some Things To Remember:

For all those systems that need to hear this:

You Are SO Valid

You Are Worth So much

Your System is Important

Your Alters/Others Are there to help you

And to The Alters, You Are so Important, you protect the host and care for them

Things to Remember:

Make sure your system Eats Enough

Make sure your system Drinks enough water

Take Breaks through out the day to relax

Make sure that the System exercises and Gets Well Earned and Needed Sleep

Always Remember That You Matter, Your System matters, and that you are valid, All Of You Matter and are Valid

[neurodivergentaf]

me on tumblr: i have DID and theres nothing wrong with that!!

me, internally 24/7: *banging pots and pans together* FREAK FREAK FREAK FREAK FREAK YOU’RE A FREAK FREAK FREAK FREAK FREAK FREAK-

[the-plant-system]

Matt: fronts because we're at work and he needs to handle work stuff

Matt: gets distracted by a cute boy we work with

The rest of the system:

[the-plant-system]

Elias, dissociated and tired: Can everyone please stop talking?!?!?

Spike: Chicken nuggets.

[the-plant-system]

Being a bilingual system

Yo! It's been a while again but it's the first time in a while that I'm fronting, cause it was my birthday this wednesday so I wanted to post!

So we're dutch, the body was born and raised in the Netherlands. But that doesn't mean that every alter is dutch. Since we were very young we knew how to speak english, cause we started reading english books and watching english youtubers, but I think there were still mostly dutch alters back then (don't have many childhood memories so idk).

Flashforward to when the body was around 13 and the entire headspace was english. The internet was the only place we could really be ourself(even though we weren't out as a system yet) but it did make us fluent in English. The most fronting alters and host still knew dutch of course, cause that's what we have to speak in the outer world. But inside our head everything is in English :)

Figuring out our system stuff in English will probably make it harder to properly explain our situation to a dutch therapist cause we don't know any of the dutch terminology. But we're gonna see a therapist again next monday so wish us luck :)

-Apple

[the-plant-system]

Hi

Sorry we haven't posted in a while, we recently got hit by a car and are dealing with a concussion ^^' so thinking makes the brain hurt and I've been trying to dialing back on system communication.

Though actually system communication might have improved? A little bit?? We have to take loads of naps and forcing myself into sleep is very dissociating, which makes it easier to see inside the inner world.

Also something weird with naps is that sometimes when the host and the body are asleep, an alter is still concious and still hears everything happening irl, so that's a weird perk to using dissociation to fall asleep.

So that's a little update for now, don't know how much longer I have to recover but let us know if yall wanna hear an in dept post about the car accident and how our primary protector had to come out and handle things

-Elias

[the-plant-system]

1. The host is Elias

2. Currently the primary protector is Matt

3. One little, one age slider who is sometimes little and a 13 year old but idk if he counts as a little

4. Nope, the host is trans so he has a lot of dysphoria, some other male alters have dysphoria as well (Matt has really bad voice dysphoria) and we have a non-human alter who is uncomfortable with the body.

5. Yes, we have two persecutors.

6. Yup, Sara is the caretaker.

7. Not really? Everyone exists to help me so I think it'd be cruel to pick a favourite.

8. Just Elias' girlfriend knows we're a system. And we haven't brought it up to our therapist so irl we're not open about it.

[thesupernovasystem]

i dont have a nervous system, i AM the nervous system

[the-plant-system]

When you're at work and a trigger song plays on the radio and triggers a persecutor out

[fuck-shoes]

Some people: some people don't have trauma and still have systems and that's okay

Other people: you need to have trauma to have a system.

Me unable to recall the first seven years of my life and barely anything after it until about 12-13, and therefore not knowing if I have trauma:

[aethersvstem]

What do you look back on and go, oh, that was the DID?

[aethersvstem]

- Trying on clothes and loving them only to wonder why I bought them the next day because they look terrible/ aren't my style.

- Having tons of hobbies but rarely being able to finish a project.

- Family and friends seeing me act out of character or even switch mid-conversation and not knowing what to make of it.

- Having a totally different syntax/ writing style at different times.

- Being able/ unable to do things in a way that didn't make sense. E.g. I normally can't do this but today it's fine, or vice versa.

- My family asking why I sound like a child/ why I'm acting like a five year old.

- Being told by people who have been close to me for years that they felt like they didn't really know me, not completely.

- Constant (more than normal) gaps in memory.

- Having a really eclectic taste in music and making playlists for different "moods."

- Going to lots of therapy but never feeling like I made much progress despite how much effort I put into it.

- (Quoting someone on Reddit here because it's so accurate): being a certain person until something I couldn't cope with happened and then becoming a completely different person after that. (Sometimes temporarily).

- Having a different reaction to the same type of situation at different times.

- Always describing my thoughts as being like "five radio stations coming in at once."

- Not being able to remember most of what happened during conflict with my family.

- Feeling like my mouth moved but I wasn't the one talking.

- Seeing my own handwriting and going wtf.

- Huge changes in my sexuality/ gender.

[the-plant-system]

Me: My trauma wasn't that bad, I'm not a system and I don't have alters!

Also me: Looking up my alters' zodiac signs

[the-plant-system]

Different handwritings!

So "school" started again (we actually don't have school anymore it's a math course) and that means we have to write again as well. And since this is pretty much the first writing we've done since being aware of being a system I'm looking more consciously about how different alters write differently and stuff. Math is a ptsd trigger for us so we knew it was gonna be quite challenging (which it is) and it caused a lot of switches as well.

So I wanted to show some handwriting examples from today!

When we first started it was Elias and Hugo that started, not a smart match for something as triggering as this so they got really upset after this and had to stop. But this is the handwriting we used most in school since Elias fronted the most. My (this) handwriting is pretty large and unreadable, but at least I can write really fast with it.

Then Apple and Leaf fronted in the afternoon and took over the work. This is pretty clearly Apple's handwriting, someone who fronted a lot in the last two years of high school so their handwriting is pretty recognisable to me. It's preciser and compacter and looks like the person has their shit together.

Another interesting thing I've noticed since writing again is that Matt is left-handed. Whenever he's co-con we're ambidextrous which is pretty cool. As a system with a lot of self doubt, noticing these kind of things also feels really validating.

I might post more alters handwriting, depending on how the math thing goes. Cause I think it's pretty interesting. let us know if yall if any suggestions for posts, our ask box is always open :)

-Elias/Apple

[reveriesystem-backup]

It’s mental health awareness month! How to support someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

If they disclose to you that they have DID:

DO:

• Accept them. Tell them that you still respect and care for them.

• Tell them that you are there if they need your help.

• Tell them to let you know if there are any triggers that are important for you to know. If they choose to tell you any, be patient and understanding. Listen attentively.

Helpful things to say or ask:

• “Is there anything you need me to do to make sure you feel safe in our relationship?

• “If you want to tell me more about it, I am here to listen.”

• “If there are any triggers you think I should be aware of, please let me know.”

• “I’m here if you need help with anything.”

• “I still love you and you are still my friend/family/partner.”

DON’T:

• Ask if they are dangerous or if they are going to harm you.

• Ask them what their trauma is.

• Call them crazy.

• Suggest that their mental illness is caused by supernatural or pseudoscientific means. (AKA, NEVER suggest that someone is possessed or haunted.)

• Bombard them with questions.

• Demand proof.

• Force then to switch as evidence.

• React in an unkind or rude way.

• Minimize or invalidate them.

• Tell them DID isn’t real.

• Deny their existence or refuse to call their alters by their names.

• Demand any answers from them.

Unhelpful things to say or ask:

• “I’ve known you for [span of time]. I would have noticed if you had it.”

• “It’s fine as long as you aren’t going to murder me.”

• “What’s your trauma? Did [traumatic event] happen to you?”

• “Isn’t that really rare? How could you have it?”

• “You had an easy childhood so there’s no way.”

• “You don’t know what ‘hard’ is.” “You were lucky to have the childhood you had.”

• “I just don’t get why you’re doing this to me.”

• “Can you imagine how hard this is for me?”

• “Tell me your triggers.”

If they’re switching or dissociating:

DO:

• Be patient with them.

• Tell them that it’s okay, and to take their time.

• Politely ask who’s fronting.

• Reintroduce yourself, as if a new person just walked into the room.

• Fill them in if they are unaware of what is going on.

DON’T:

• Snap or clap in their face.

• Express that you only want to interact with the previously fronting alter.

• Raise your voice, or try to force them to “snap out of” their dissociation.

• Ask if they are going to harm you, or if they are “evil”.

• Tell them “they should know what’s happening”, or refuse to fill them in on what is happening.

• Accuse or blame them for not being a good friend, not listening, or dissociating. 

DID is a highly stigmatized disorder. People fear disclosing this disorder to their loved ones, because their safety could be compromised. They trusted you enough to tell you. It is your job to create a space of love, acceptance, and respect for them.

🖤 Delphine