birds aren't real (I believe wizards are real)

livin' • genderfluid (all pronouns)

[screenshotsofdespair]

[sleebyjam]

Okay, I'll bite. Hawm

[championofdogs]

Hi pervert! I've ô’btained an item...

[drfunkbeat]

me when i eat certain foods such as soup or ice cream

[sylferino]

every $30 purchase is like a razor sharp arrow stuck firmly in my muscular wearwolf back

[latex-salesman]

[boybeetles]

Sie transvestigaten meinen ikea hotdog…

[juniepuppie]

who the fuck is emailing me

[segamascott]

[whatcoloristhatcat]

red mackerel tabby with moderate white spotting

[helpeverythingiscats]

red mackerel GAMER with moderate white PWNING

[lady-of-vitreous-sight]

it's kinda scary how you can just be tired all the time forever

[lady-of-vitreous-sight]

it's kinda scary how you can just be tired all the time forever

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

we named it the computer mouse because it fit so comfortably in our hands and it reminded us of ancient times where our ancestors put their palms over the backs of cave mice and shuffled them across the ground to move the cursor on their cave wall mounted gaming monitors

[pingo1387]

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

[the-sarcastic-sorcerer]

theyre removing my jane tomorrow

[lizardho]

Ok, so, bottom surgery recovery is going ~splendidly~ tbh, I’ve been off opioids basically all week, she’s healing well, she even looks pretty which at under the one-month mark is making me feel pretty optimistic. The only problems it’s giving me are that sometimes if I see something really gross it makes my body feel like it’s trying to suck itself inward from my vagina, like a black hole generated by the power of “ew ew ew,” and that healing is really tiring so I’m like…always sleepy. But tbh most of bottom surgery recovery has been peaceful, I’ve had a lot of time to do some self-reflection (which I hate, doing my own therapy as a patient suuuuuucks), BUT, I do have one funny story:

Right as I wake up there’s a nurse there who hustles over and says he’s glad he saw me wake up and tells me he’s giving me some pain meds and then he gives me IV Fentanyl and so I go from like “Ow ow ow ow awake awake awake” to “ooooooh fuck I’m floating on clouds made of rainbows” in like 6 seconds and so I was pretty out of it. The hospital had all the recently-post op patients all in one big-ass room, and they see patients for ALL sorts of surgeries, so I was next to an old guy who got his knee replaced on one side and some young 30-something dude with some kind of mechanism on his leg. So I asked him what happened since I was high as fuck and feeling kind as a result, and he said he broke his leg hiking off-trail when his leg went down a literal rabbit hole and snapped his shinbone. I say something like “damn dude that blowssssss” while giggling because I’m high as FUCK on actual fentanyl and he’s like “Yeah, for real, I’m feeling great right now though! What about you? What are you in here for?”

And I fully was not thinking like a person, I was thinking like a fentanyl-addled tgirl so I just go “Oh, haha, they cut my dick off!”

And he just kinda stops and is like “Hah-WAIT what? Why?” and I was trying to think of an acceptable answer to tell this cis guy because it’s dawning on me through my drug-induced haze that not everybody wants their penis gone and before I can think of a response two nurses just came up and…wheeled him away. Idk where to, and I don’t think he did either, because he kept looking back at me and frantically asking the nurses where they were taking him and I never gave him an adequate response so he probably thought he was gonna get that “Transgender for Everyone” shit before he was probably actually delivered to whoever his ride home was.

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

dear professor i didn't do your stupid homework because i wanted my grade to go down because it's more fun that way. -thanks,

[kosmogrl]