caleb fucks clowns and craw dads
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸

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caleb fucks clowns and craw dads
by Robin Spielmann
Armored war dragon with +4 ice breath
Okano Yasushi, ĺąąăăăč°ˇăă, 2008
Frantisek Kupka, Autumn Sun Three Goddesses, 1906.
i canât do it anymore. iâm so tired of waiting to feel at home
Anne BrayâSingle-handedly: 40-second animation on electronic billboard in Times Square, NYC, every 6 minutes during 1 monthâŚ
do you fucking mind
emperor kuzco was clearly gay
hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ainât got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when heâs rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit
Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.
He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.
Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.
In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.
So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.
In response to the question âHow did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?â there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writerâs room, and didnât review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.
Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. Itâs so catchy though, Iâm doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:
holy shit read the article. itâs worth it and completely batshit
This is fucking insane
I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted
when I was younger I spent too much time on rp chat sites, and one time I was John F. Kennedy and this stranger asked me what it felt like to get my head blown off or something. Like genuinly. And, idk Iâm 14 years old. Anyways, I gave them a very non-problematic, artistic, answer, something like âI felt a breeze of fresh air and remembered my childhoodâ etc etc. And the stranger replied âthatâs beautifulâ and I replied âactually it was head hurtyyy head owwieeâ and they replied by saying that I should be ashamed of myself for desecrating his memory or whatever. First of all, I have no excuse but itâs funny, and second of all, who asks that? What was it like to die? Nobody knows
Oh my godâŚ
body: you are dying of The Heat
me: [removes blanket]
body: never have you been So Frozen
all women should be allowed to let that thang swang
when I was a kid you had to do the charlie the unicorn voice whether you liked it or not. you had to say candy mountain charlieeee in the voice. not like these days
they should invent edibles that arenât scary
smoking weed: pretty good. Ok. just donât overdo it
eating an edible: doesnât kick in until 2 hours have passed at the exact moment that an amber alert is going off and your dog is barking at something you canât see and your mind keeps skipping like a DVD